by Kristen Reed
“Don’t be crude,” Augustus cautioned.
“Let’s revisit my original question,” Emmanuel spoke up. “Are you any closer to making a decision about joining my coven, Clara?”
“Yes, but I have a couple of requests.”
“Go ahead.”
“I’ll only join the coven if Augustus is the one who changes me,” I said.
“That’s fine with me. It would be an honor to have a vampire from the Damiani line in my care. What is your other request?”
“I’d also like you to set a few of the slaves free before Augustus turns me.”
“Anyone in particular?”
“Amy, Rachel, Connor, and Leah.”
Leah looked up from the soup that she had been savoring and opened her mouth to speak, but Emmanuel cut her off before she could say a word.
“I understand asking for Leah’s and Connor’s freedom since they are your friends, but why the others,” Emmanuel pressed, “and who are Amy and Rachel for that matter?”
“Amy has been your cook for over a decade and Rachel is a maid,” I explained, quelling my anger at him for not knowing the names of two women he’d been oppressing for years. “I’m asking you to free them because I want something good to come of me joining the coven. If I can have the chance to be free, why shouldn’t they have the same opportunity?”
“That’s awfully thoughtful of you, However, who will prepare these decadent meals for us if I let Amy go?”
“Why do you need gourmet food when you can have Anna’s blood whenever you want?”
“Because I still enjoy a good meal every night,” the coven leader justified. “Since the maid can be easily replaced, I will let her go, but the cook stays.”
“You could let your sous chef go in her place,” Augustus suggested. “You wouldn’t lose your prized cook and Clara’s conscience would be at peace.”
“I’ll agree to that. What about you, Clara?”
“That’s fine,” I begrudgingly agreed.
“Now, in terms of your friends, I will only let one of them go. Which one would you like me to send home?”
“Why—”
“I’m already being more generous than usual. I’m not going to change my mind,” Emmanuel interrupted. “Make your choice.”
I let out a deep breath as I tried to choose which of my friends would get to return home. Connor had been beaten and abused, and his mistreatment would likely continue until I fulfilled the prophecy, he gave in to Marie, or she grew frustrated with him and ended his life. On the flip side, Leah seemed to be relishing in her degrading position. Though she didn’t look like she’d been harmed, she had given in to desires and addictions that she had fought and conquered for years. I knew that Connor was suffering greatly, but I couldn’t let her spiral any more than she already had.
“I choose Leah.”
“We have a deal,” Emmanuel said as he extended his hand.
“Wait,” Leah interjected. “What about what I want?”
“I don’t care what you want,” the coven leader replied dismissively. “You’re just a human.”
Before I could give Leah a less flippant response, she abruptly stood up from the table and stormed into the hallway. Rather than closing the deal with the coven leader, I abandoned my seat and followed her. Thankfully, she hadn’t gone too far. I found my friend seething as she paced back and forth on the hardwood floors.
“I don’t know what’s happened to you or what you’ve taken since Grayson bought you, but you don’t want this,” I pleaded. “You worked really hard to get sober, and now you’re using again. Do you really want to throw away years of sobriety so you can be used by someone who doesn’t even see you as a real person?”
Leah faced me and seeing the tears glistening in her eyes as she fixed me with an indignant glare broke my heart. While she and I weren’t exactly best friends, I never thought that I would see hatred in the eyes of the woman I’d shared countless meals, prayers, and moments with.
“Won’t you be using someone too after you’re turned,” she challenged. “How can you sit up here and say this crap when you’re about to become one of them? You’re a hypocrite.”
I wanted to tell her why I was becoming a vampire and that I wouldn’t participate in the coven’s oppressive lifestyle, but my lips had to stay sealed. I needed to play the part of the selfish woman who was trying to make herself feel better about a catastrophically bad decision.
It’ll all be worth it in the end, I reminded myself. She and the others will be so much better off away from this horrible place.
“I have the chance to become a vampire and avoid what you and Connor are going through, so I’m going to take it and get you out of here.”
“But I want this,” Leah insisted. “Why would I want to go back to being bored out of my mind and trying to be the perfect little Christian girl while everyone judges me and guys at church keep me at arm’s length because of my past? Why would I go back to that lonely, boring life when I can be with a gorgeous man who thinks I’m beautiful, treats me like royalty, and gives me the best highs of my life without judging me?”
“The people who were judging and rejecting you back at home weren’t the kind of people you need in your life, and they certainly didn’t love you the way that Christians are supposed to. They couldn’t see the wonderful woman you are, but Grayson doesn’t either. He sees you as a piece of meat and he’s pumping you full of drugs to keep you too high to realize how much he’s belittling you,” I argued. “The moment the drugs wear off, you’ll see what’s really happening, and you’ll be devastated. Even if you manage to stay smashed, one day Grayson will get sick of you and throw you away, leaving you to pick up the pieces on your own or he’ll just kill you. I don’t want that for you, and I know you don’t want that for yourself either.”
“Grayson would never do that. He said that I’d be a slave for five years and then he’d make me a vampire.”
“Emmanuel himself told me that the coven doesn’t turn slaves into vampires because they think you’d be too broken to be useful. Grayson is lying to you.”
I heard footsteps behind me and saw Grayson approaching when I glanced over my shoulder.
“Leah, will you be coming back to dinner or would you rather dine in private,” the vampire asked.
“I don’t eat with hypocrites, so I guess we’ll be eating alone.”
Grayson walked past me and placed his hand on her back, guiding her back down the hallway like an attentive date instead of the tyrant he was. I leaned against the wall and fought to keep the tears that formed in my eyes from falling, but I failed at that just like I’d failed to make Leah see reason. Although I’d felt compassion after interacting with Anna, Patrick, and the other slaves, seeing Leah nearly ripped my heart out. She had completely turned her back on the life she’d been devoted to in favor of numbing herself with things that would only bring her more pain.
Knowing that Emmanuel and the others could hear me did nothing to deter my quiet sobbing. Leah had believed the lie that drugs and sex could satisfy her and rejected God because of gossipy, judgmental people, and I was just as bad as they were in her eyes. Even though letting her think I was a hypocrite killed me, I didn’t trust her enough to explain the real reason for my actions. Leah was so committed to her new degrading position that she would have sold Augustus and I out to Grayson in a heartbeat if I told her the truth.
I had to let her hate me.
After a few moments, my undead ally came into the hallway and wrapped his arms around me. I couldn’t help realizing that Augustus was comforting me in my distress just as we were leading the coven members to believe he had the night before. Our lives were beginning to imitate our lies, and my fear that his comfort would transform into something more intimate than our cover story implied helped me calm down.
I refused to let my emotions get the best of me and make me reckless. Yes, Augustus was my only solace and the only free person I could be authentic
with under Emmanuel’s roof, but I couldn’t let my unfortunate circumstances cause me to stumble as Leah’s had. I needed to be strong and rely on God to give me that strength and refuge instead of a vampire who I was physically attracted to and who was unexpectedly fascinated with me. It was a recipe for disaster that I had zero desire to cook, so I wiped my eyes and put a few feet between us.
“Should we retire as well or would you like to eat with the others,” Augustus asked.
“I don’t want to go back in there and pretend everything’s okay, but I need to make sure Emmanuel will follow through with our agreement.”
“He will. I made sure of it.”
“Thank you,” I breathed. “I wish Leah didn’t have to deal with all of this. She’s already been through so much.”
“She won’t. Emmanuel placed a bit of a failsafe suggestion in the minds of every slave that makes them forget their time here as soon as they are a certain distance from the island,” he confirmed. “Unfortunately, it sounds like whatever disquiets and doubts your friend had started before she was brought here. Those thoughts will likely resurface again in the future no matter how effective Emmanuel’s compulsion is.”
“Well, at least she’ll be around people who can help her.”
“Would you like me to do something about it?”
“What do you mean?”
“I could go a step further by removing those thoughts from her mind altogether and giving her peace with her life in the human world.”
“I can’t let you do that to her,” I replied. “She probably needs to work through her issues the old fashioned way. Peace isn’t peace if it’s forced on people.”
“Alright,” he conceded. “I think you could use some fresh air. I’m going to personally pack up our meals so we can escape from this dreary place for a little bit.”
The fact that Augustus offered to wrap up our meals himself rather than having the slaves do it brought a weary smile to my face.
“Thank you.”
The fiery-haired vampire returned the grin and headed back into the dining room to tell Emmanuel that our plans had changed and into the kitchen to pack up our food. That gave me a much-needed moment of privacy and prayer.
God, please give me the strength and wisdom that I need to bear this burden without saying or doing something I’ll regret. I can’t do this without you.
♦ ♦ ♦
Not long later, Augustus and I were sitting on the roof of the house, which was no typical roof. A cobblestone terrace encircled the dome that sat atop Emmanuel’s mansion and provided a stunning view of the moonlit sky and sea. The rooftop patio featured a few chairs, loungers, and a circular couch that surrounded a fire pit while fragrant rose bushes in the vicinity scented the air. The two of us sat down on the couch and I admired the stars as I ate in silence and enjoyed the fresh air.
Once I had my fill of the baked penne pasta with prosciutto, shrimp, mushrooms, chicken, and creamy white sauce, I took a break from my borderline emotional eating to address my unlikely companion.
“Thank you for doing this,” I said. “I don’t think I could’ve faced them after what just happened.”
“You’re welcome. You’re carrying quite a burden at the moment and lesser women would have washed their hands of it by now.”
“Maybe.”
“How are you feeling about the eclipse on Monday?”
“Scared out of my mind.”
“Well, being a dhampir means that you’ll avoid most of the pain that comes with the change and you won’t have to die as part of your transformation.”
“The physical change isn’t what’s freaking me out. I know now that I’ve never been fully human biologically, but I’m going to be trading the life I’ve always known and the temptations I’ve learned to fight for something completely unknown.”
“What kinds of temptation have you conquered?”
“Giving into lust, bingeing on alcohol, and smoking weed are probably the big three. Even though it’s hard not to go back to doing those things when life gets tough and I want to escape, I haven’t relapsed in over a year.”
“How long did you struggle with those vices before you became a Christian?”
“About ten years.”
Augustus nodded as he reflected on my answer, but he didn’t need long to come up with a response.
“You have chosen a very different, difficult path for yourself, Clara. Becoming a vampire means that you will have a strong thirst for something that can only be quenched by preying on others and you will receive power that many men and women have become drunk with, but you are not like most vampires were as humans,” Augustus pointed out. “The people I have turned made no effort to conquer their human appetites. If they lived upright lives, their righteous behavior came from a desire to avoid the ostracism they’d face by going against the constraints of civilized society. However, you’ve turned away from those pleasures despite living in an era when people glorify the very depravities that many of them craved. I have no doubt that your conviction and tenacity will apply to your new urges as well and prevent you from succumbing to your new desires.”
“Thanks. I really needed to hear that.”
“You’re welcome,” he replied with a smile. “Maybe after I teach you about being a vampire, you can teach me about being more human.”
I laughed and shook my head.
“That’s like learning calculus from someone who barely passed algebra.”
“Some people don’t truly master a subject until they begin teaching it to another.”
“Maybe,” I mused. “You’ve lived as a vampire for hundreds of years now. Why would you want to change?”
“I have been surrounded by darkness for so long that being in the presence of a little light is refreshing. If I could carry even a piece of that with me, that new perspective could make the next few centuries more pleasant.”
I took a sip of my water and stared out at the moonlit sea as I processed Augustus’ statement.
“What about when those centuries are over? What do you think will happen when you die?”
“Most vampires try not to dwell on our second deaths. Personally, I’m hoping for oblivion because heaven is out of my reach if it exists.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I have ended countless lives since I became a vampire and have ruined almost as many to serve the league and myself. I don’t know how many good deeds and repentant rituals it takes to escape hell, but I know I could never do enough,” he explained. “Besides, I doubt vampires are even eligible for an eternity in paradise.”
“I believe that they are. I wouldn’t have chosen to go through with all of this if I didn’t,” I said. “As for the sins you’ve committed in the past, you can’t make up for them. No one can. The only way someone can go to heaven and have real eternal life is by accepting that Jesus gave up his life and rose on the third day to pay for all of his or her sins past, present, and future.”
“What makes you think vampires can go to heaven?”
“Since I, despite being born half-vampire, am already saved by grace, I believe that the gospel applies to full-fledged vampires as well. Plus, the Bible is the perfect, fully sufficient word of God. If being a human or not being a vampire was an essential part of the gospel, it would have been included in the New Testament. All believers receive the Holy Spirit when they accept Christ as their savior. Having it is a sign that our fates are decided and the Holy Spirit — just like our salvation — can never be taken away,” I explained. “I’m confident that I’ll still have the Spirit and my salvation even after you turn me into a vampire and that vampires can receive forgiveness just like humans can.”
“For your sake, I hope you’re right.”
“I am.”
I studied Augustus for a moment before moving the conversation along.
“Has anyone ever shared the gospel with you before?”
“I’ve been handed pamphlets full of scriptu
re outside of bars and I’ve seen picket signs telling me that the end is nigh or that I’m destined for hell, but no one has ever conversed with me like you have,” Augustus answered. “The easiest way for a vampire to feed in this day and age is by going to bars and clubs where inhibitions are lowered and it’s not abnormal to disappear into a dark corner with a stranger for a spell. The pious population doesn’t exactly frequent such places.”
“We probably should. The poor aren’t the only people who need saving.”
“All of that aside, I never would have listened to anyone if they tried to evangelize to me as if I were a human. While I’m not sold on your beliefs, I’m mildly curious because you still believe in your own salvation despite what you’ve seen and heard here.”
“It doesn’t just have to be my salvation.”
Augustus laughed and shook his head as he refilled his glass with more of the merlot he’d pilfered from Emmanuel’s stash.
“You really want me to believe, don’t you?”
“Where you spend eternity is pretty important. Wouldn’t you be concerned if you were me?”
“Yes, I suppose I would.”
“So where do you actually live when you’re not visiting covens?”
“I have several houses and condominiums in the United States, Canada, and Brazil, which I rotate between as needed.”
“Do you have a coven?”
“No, I don’t. Most vampires strike out on their own or found covens after a few centuries, but I chose a career with The Vampire League over coven leadership.”
“What does that career path look like?”
“It involves a lot of bribes, threats, and battles. Vampires only leave positions of power if the payout is worth the loss of power, they’re bored, or a challenger defeats them in a duel.”
“How many duels have you had to fight?”
“I defeated three league members to become the lord over this area and have been victorious over twenty seven challengers since I earned this position a hundred years ago, but there have been many informal frays and battles over the centuries.”
“And I thought human politics were a bloodbath,” I joked weakly.
