“Oh, well stick with Ollie and me. This is going to be totally different than what you’re used to.”
“So I’m to carry you, yeah? And when you’re strong enough, you can carry me around, if it makes you feel better.”
I blinked at him, shocked. “You just made a joke. I didn’t think you knew how.”
He ran his hand over his face, leaning back to rest his butt on his heels. “You scared me last night, kid. Ollie’s right. We need a little balance. I saw what happens when you’re pushed too hard for so long. Today we make jokes and watch movies and remember the good things about the life we’re supposed to be living in between saving other worlds.” He shook his head, touching his heart. “You scared me. I don’t do well with scared.”
I blinked at him, shocked. “I honestly didn’t know you cared.”
“Why does everyone say that?”
“Because you’re mean.”
His eyebrows pulled together, giving him that monster of Frankenstein look. “I don’t have any sisters, but somehow you became mine. I don’t like seeing my only sister so out of her mind. Today we do nothing responsible. We do nothing at all.” Danny rose slightly and picked up my arm to loop it around his neck, tilting my body so I rested against his chest. One arm slid beneath my thighs, and in a fluid motion I couldn’t help but be impressed by, Danny lifted me off the bed. He was gentle with me and shot the others glares of warning not to say anything about me not being able to feel my legs yet. He carefully set me on the couch between Ollie and Mason, and then took his seat on the recliner. He invited Mariang onto his lap after she handed me my plate of eggs.
The movie started, bringing me back to a thousand memories of watching this movie too many times to count, but still never enough. The familiar credits and the feel of wasting time with my brother brought a smile to my face. No one except for Von had ever seen the Evil Dead movies, and Von had only seen the first one, which as we all know, is the gateway drug for awesome cult horror flicks.
Von sat on the floor at my feet, not ready to look up at my face, but also unwilling to be parted from me. I took a chance, leaned down and put my gloved hand in his hair, exhaling when his shoulders drooped. He leaned his head to my knee and looped his arm around my calf, holding it like a teddy bear.
I didn’t understand all that had gone down between us yesterday, but I clung to hope as Von clung to my leg, that somehow we would find a way to make things right again.
36
Pink Carnations
The polite knock on the door was answered by Danny, who checked the peephole before letting Ezra inside. Ollie had long since fallen asleep next to me, so I shared the blanket Mason had draped across my lap with my brother, making sure he didn’t get chilly as he snored softly on the couch.
Ezra had an armload of flowers and kept his voice quiet when he saw Ollie asleep. He quirked his eyebrow at Mariang’s horrified expression as she watched the bloody mutilation that was unfolding onscreen. “Darling, how are you feeling?” he asked me, making sure not to block the TV.
“I’m fine.”
“Might I have a word?”
“Sure.” I made to stand, but Von shot up and backed me down onto the couch. “I can feel my legs now, Von. I’m fine.”
“Then you’ll humor me. Easy now.” Von moved slowly and with deliberate purpose as he lifted me off the couch to stand, taking care not to wake Ollie. “To the kitchen?” he inquired, offering up a humble downward tilt to his head when I nodded. He kept one arm curled around my back and used the other as a crutch for me to lean on. My feet plodded forward unsteadily, like they’d fallen asleep.
Things were tense between us. I hoped that if I kept not looking at him, we wouldn’t have to have the awkward conversation where he told me I was a sweet kid, but I wasn’t his flavor of tall, leggy blonde. I already knew as much, and didn’t need it spelled out for me.
Von lowered my limp and weakened body to the chair at the kitchen table, holding onto my hand as he took the seat next to me. I dropped his grip, not out of anger, but because it felt wrong to touch him so intimately.
Ezra sat down across from us, setting the bouquet of long stemmed pink carnations down across the table. “Do you have an extra vase?” Ezra asked me, taking off his suit jacket and folding it over the back of his chair.
Extra? I didn’t even have one vase. “No, but I’m sure they’ll be alright until you get them home.”
A curious expression fell over Ezra. “I won’t be taking these home, darling. They’re for you.”
“What are?”
“The flowers. I confess I don’t know your favorite flower, or even your favorite color, but it’s a start. How are you feeling?”
“I’ll run out and fetch you a vase,” Von offered quietly, looking grateful he had a reason to be helpful.
I shook my head and pointed at the top cupboard with a weighted arm. “There’s a tall stein up there for Ollie. It’ll work fine. Thanks, Ezra. You really brought me flowers? Like, you went to a store and bought them for me?”
“That’s typically how the process works, yes.”
Von got the beer stein down and cut the tips of the flowers so they didn’t stand super tall and fall over in the glass. I picked a stem out to examine the oddity once they were slid to the center of the kitchen table. The blooms brightened my bleak world with their unapologetic shock of pink. “No one’s ever bought me flowers before.”
“I’m sure that can’t be true. I noticed a vase filled with lovely flowers in your bedroom when I arrived.”
“Huh?”
Von filled in the blanks with a closed expression. “Judge sent you flowers this morning, along with a board game. Monopoly, I think. I put them in your room.”
“Seriously?” I frowned. “I bet there was a card asking me to do him a favor or something.”
“There was a card, but it was just him wishing you a speedy recovery. Nothing more.” He cleared his throat. “Not that I read it.”
Ezra watched me study the pink carnation in my hand, smelling it and turning it over to see it from every angle. “Do you like them?”
I nodded, transfixed by the gesture. “Did you do this because I had a breakdown?”
“No, dear. Mariang, Lynna and your mother also got bouquets today, if that makes you feel less suspicious of my intentions. I merely wished to brighten your day, to show you that I do care for you, and that I’m trying.”
I smelled the flower again, amazed at how beautiful my kitchen looked with the shock of pink lightening the room. “They’re amazing. Thank you, Ezra. That was right decent of you.”
“You’re most welcome.” He folded his hands over his stomach as he leaned back in his chair, looking tired, though it was barely noon. “I have something else to deliver. It’s a message from your mother. She wanted me to tell you that when you’re ready to see her, she would like very much to speak with you.”
The true reason for Ezra’s visit became apparent, and my shoulders drooped. These were bargaining flowers. “Sure. Probably not today, but when she gets out, I’ll come by to see her. You can bring back the message that I’ll still come by to take her out once a week when she’s ready. But I don’t want to go to the psychiatric ward.” I held up my hand. “It’s the best I can do.”
“It’s more than generous. Thank you. She’s positively distraught over what she’s done to you over the years. She’s been writing everything down that she can remember because she wants to go over each point to tell you how sorry she is.”
“Yeah, I can’t really wrap my mind around that right now, so I’ll just say ‘cool,’ and you’ll say ‘smashing’ or something British that means we can drop it.”
“Sounds smashing,” Ezra smiled, relieved we were finding our own language to discuss the hard things. “I admit, I anticipated a bigger fight from you.”
“Best time to coerce me into something I don’t want to do is when I’m still in my pajamas at noon. Apparently I have no pride anymore, so sure.
Why not let Bev say her piece? If it helps her be more functional, great. She’s my mama, and I’ve never turned my back on her. I’m not about to start now.”
“I’m proud of your mature stance on things. I know your mother will be happy to hear it, too.” He crossed his right ankle over his left knee. “Now for some work talk. A few members of the council would like to set a date for you taking the stone to the next country. Lumipad would be next, and they’re in desperate need. Their drought started only a month after Silo’s, and things are quite bleak there. Not to mention the problems in the other countries.”
I was about to answer, but Von chimed in first. “No work’s happening today, Ezra. Ollie was firm on that. You and Danny can drum up a plan that makes sense for everyone, but today October’s taking a day off. That means no conversations about work.” He sat back in his chair, staring down the boss man who was basically his surrogate father. “It matters if the Omens collapse. She only just got feeling back in her legs. Today’s for rest. Tomorrow we can reap to get the numbers back up if she feels up to it.”
Ezra looked out of sorts at the mild chastisement, so I met his gesture of flowers with one of my own. “Do you want to stay and take a day off with us? Something tells me you don’t get many of those. We just started the second Evil Dead movie. I’m not sure Mariang has the stomach for it, though.”
“Nor I, though it has been a long week.” He leaned forward and rested his face in his hands, sighing out too many decades of wear. “It’s been a long few weeks.”
I took my time standing and used the table for support, making my way to his side of the table to place my hand on his back. Slowly I rubbed his spine, hopefully showing him that my house was a safe place for him, even if it wasn’t a haven for me anymore. “Looks like it’s been a long life. I’ve never seen someone with so much on their plate. I don’t know how you’re juggling it all.” My eyes rested on the pink declarations of love and happiness on the counter in the stein. “And yet you still find the time to bring me flowers? You’re taking care of Bev when you have no idea who she’ll turn out to be by the end of it all. If there’s anyone who needs a movie night with his family, it’s you.” I reached down and held his hand without the note of hesitation, due to my awesome gloves. “Three of your kids are having a movie day. Come be irresponsible with us.”
Ezra looked up at my face, his eyes searching mine for the solace I was promising. “How could any father say no to such an offer? Thank you, dear. That sounds like just the right amount of good medicine.”
I took a chance and ruffled his hair, gasping through my giggle at the scandal of Ezra with his perfect blond Ken doll hair out of place. He laughed, and the sound was melodious. He stood and offered me his elbow, leaving his hair disheveled just to entertain me. “Shall we?”
“Thanks. I can mostly walk, but it’s not so graceful.”
“Von?” Ezra glanced over his shoulder to the messy-haired boy who didn’t follow us.
Von took out his cigar apologetically. “I’ll be back. Gotta make a run to the store in town. You want anything, October?”
The lack of a nickname wasn’t lost on me. We were polite now, which perhaps was better than fighting, but it sure as Sunday wasn’t us. We’d lost our fun, forfeiting it to reality, which was nothing short of sad. I loved our childishness, but now it was broken, and there we stood – two adults. “No, thank you. But I know Mason’s hungry. Would you mind picking him up something? Danny’s probably hungry too.”
“Of course. Is there anything you want for you?”
“I’ve got flowers. What else could there possibly be?”
Von begged me with his eyes. “Please. Please let me do something.”
“You’ve done enough.” I wasn’t being cold, though I’m sure I could’ve sounded harsh if I’d wanted to. But it was true. Von had done enough to snap me out of the idiotic crush I knew I couldn’t have on him. He’d done enough to remind me of just how stupid my hang-ups were. Try as I might, no part of anyone’s life could be allowed to be perfect. People were messy, and you had to take them as such. My world wasn’t safe, and I’d been pretending that playing with monsters wouldn’t come back to bite me. That white carpet would never dare to stain.
Von left, dejected. I tried to put our fight out of my mind as Mason helped me to sit back down on the couch. He took Von’s spot on the floor so Ezra could sit next to me on the cushion.
I felt someone watching me, but I didn’t see anyone. The eerie feeling came from behind me, but when I turned, no one was there.
Ezra adjusted his shirt, as if the absence of his suit jacket made him feel out of sorts. He squinted at the screen. “So is there a plot I’ve missed, or is it just going to be… Oh, I see. Oh, my. That’s unfortunate. Oh, how dreadful.”
I tried not to giggle too loudly at Ezra’s British mannerisms and conservative assessments of the over the top gore that only ever entertained me. It wasn’t quite the Brady Bunch, but I was home, and for now, that helped erase enough of the bad things for me to find a portion of my smile again.
37
Sexy and Still Innocent
Von was gone a few hours, but I sure as Sunday wasn’t going to be the one to voice my concern. When he walked through the door, I breathed a sigh of relief. He gave me a nod toward the kitchen, so I got up off my place on the couch between Ezra and Ollie. My brother had woken when Ezra shouted, “Oh, goodness!” at a particularly violent scene. Totally precious.
I followed Von into the kitchen and helped him unpack the groceries no one had asked him to pick up. “I didn’t know you were going grocery shopping. I would’ve given you money.”
“Please, I’m almost as rich as you are now, and I haven’t had any time to spend a dime. Least I could do was deal with Deli Frank so you didn’t have to.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “That’s not true. The least I could’ve done was not be such a wanker to you yesterday. And this is the first time I’ve picked up the bill for groceries. You’re always footing the cost for Mason and me. That’s not proper.” He shook his head as he pulled out a jar of peanut butter and placed it in my cupboard on the wrong shelf. “I don’t know why I was like that yesterday to you. Ollie gave me a speech that terrified me to my very soul. And I saw your face when Katrina was with me. You looked… I dunno. I just know I made you look like that, and it dawned on me that we were already married. I guess I freaked out a little.”
“A little?”
“I’m trying to apologize here, October.”
I hated it when he called me by my regular name. There was no tease, no flirt, no familiarity. I slowly put groceries away as I thought on my response. “You told the guys about the scar on my thigh. That was private. You made them think we were hooking up, and I’ve worked hard to make sure I was never that girl for them. Everyone’s always changing partners and hooking up. I don’t want to be in that rotation. It’s hard to be taken seriously or even feel like you have a true friend in the mix when everyone calls you ‘Bait’.” I paused, waiting for my courage to rally to make it through the rest of my speech. “You were different. You were supposed to know all that, but you used me for a laugh. Now they all know I have ugly thighs. And the hot foreign guy was the one to tell them.” I recalled the feel of Von’s lips on the inside of my thigh and shivered. “That moment? That time when you saw my scar and still looked at me like I wasn’t a beauty pageant failure? I felt beautiful for that whole moment, like the ugliest parts of me weren’t so bad that I’d always be alone. I don’t know why you took that moment away. It was precious to me, and now it’s garbage.”
Von swallowed thickly, not looking at me as he took a bunch of bananas out of a bag. “I suppose if I told you that moment meant a lot to me too, you wouldn’t want to hear it.”
I kept my voice quiet, without any hint of biting anger. I tried to be matter-of-fact, so we wouldn’t devolve into a full-on fight. “I don’t need you to lie to make me feel better, no. If it meant so much, you would
n’t have used it to sell me out. You don’t throw away the things that matter, and you threw me away without a blink.”
Von nodded, looking down at the counter while he gripped the edge of it, as if hoping the Formica would tell him what to say. “I don’t want to get married. I’m a vampire. Everyone tries to skate around that, but one day I will turn. I’ll leave everyone I love behind and not recall any of the people who were dear to me.” He pursed his lips as he kept his eyes trained on the counter. “Even if I did want to be married, that’s not in the cards for someone like me.”
I blinked at his swift left field topic shift. “O-kay,” I said slowly. “I don’t actually think Katrina’s ready to settle down just yet. So it won’t be as big of a letdown as you’re thinking for her.”
Von looked up at the ceiling in exasperation and then whirled around to face me. “You don’t get it. I wanted to have sex with Katrina because I knew I couldn’t be with you. The last time I went to Katrina’s I couldn’t… we didn’t…” He motioned to his lap, embarrassed. “It wouldn’t…” He cleared his throat. “I came back here because I wanted to be with you. I knew I couldn’t fall asleep in Katrina’s bed. I only went there in the first place so I wouldn’t accidentally blurt out that you and I belong together, and that I only ever want to be naked with you.”
My eyes widened as the graphic image danced in my vision. “I didn’t know you felt that way.”
“Are you joking? Do you think it’s every woman I take into the bath?”
“That was because I over-reaped.”
Von shook his head in exasperation. “Oh, love. You’re daft if you think what drove me to get into that tub with you wasn’t the kind of lust you should slap me for.” He squinted at me. “You really didn’t think that was something special?”
I was flustered at his direct questions, and tried to scratch my hands, but the gloves kept me from cutting my skin. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. “Of course it was a big deal to me, but you’re more experienced at that kind of thing.”
Tempt (Terraway Book 4) Page 21
