by Maggie Marr
“Okay then. Guys, go set up the shot at the vet clinic. Sophia, Trick, Angie, meet us there in an hour. Doc, you can remove the cast then, right?”
“Uh, sure.” Doc said. “I need to get another x-ray, but probably, yes.”
“Fine,” Charlie said. He suddenly appeared irritated that there was a possibility that Drummond wouldn’t get his cast removed today. A woman with a long blonde ponytail approached Charlie and handed him a clipboard. She said something into his ear.
“No problem,” Charlie said.
“Okay then. Angie, Trick, Sophia, vet clinic in one hour. Got it?”
I glanced at the clock over the doorway. “Got it.”
Angie nodded and turned her chair to escape the room before the mass exodus of all the Pawtown staff and Charlie Slam’s crew. I hung back and waited for Sophia. She wouldn’t look my way or meet my eyes. Instead she hung close to Choo, who had filmed a chunk of the meeting. He’d also been posting pics online. There was one this very morning of the very barebones women’s bathroom in the volunteer bungalow.
“No walk of shame for you two this morning.” Choo lifted an eyebrow. His voice was low so that none of the crew of Pawtown staff could hear him. I glanced around. Choo was a good guy, and I knew from all of Dillon’s antics before he met his wife that Choo knew how to be discreet, but I didn’t like anyone knowing about what happened between Sophia and me.
Was I embarrassed? Was I ashamed? Sleeping with Sophia didn’t feel like a relapse. No, sleeping with Sophia felt like something that could be real. But, damn, I think I’d prefer the relapse. That would be cheap and easy because this … a thing with Sophia had nowhere to go but to heartache hell. Choo passed me and headed toward Charlie. As the brother of the producer of the show, and the publicist for the star, Choo had some serious leverage. Most likely Choo wanted to make sure Slam wasn’t up to something that would embarrass Sophia.
“You ready for this?” I asked Sophia. She lifted her shoulder. Her eyes were flat. Nonchalant. As though there was nothing between us. As though I hadn’t fucked her for hours the night before. “Come with me.” I said. I grasped her elbow and pulled her through the back door and into the sunshine outside. I turned the corner and scooted her into a supply room that was open.
“What is wrong with you?” she asked. Her voice was low and her brow creased.
“Cold shoulder? A dirty look and some serious ice princess attitude? That’s what I deserve?”
Again with the lifted nonchalant shoulder. She might as well shoot me a middle finger. “What? I’m sure I meant nothing to you, right? I mean I fit a type, for you. With your thing.”
“My thing?” I stepped closer to her. Yes, there was the heat. The pulsing that throbbed through every part of my body. For fuck sake, how the hell could we keep this attraction hidden? I could barely stand to be in the same room as her, to look at her, to be near her without putting my hands on her. “Do you mean my addiction to cocaine and sex and my recovery?” I pressed close to her. “What are you trying to say? Are you trying to ask me if you’re a relapse? A throw away? An easy lay?” My words grew harsher, my tone darker.
Was I irritated with her, or was I angry with myself? Angry that she wasn’t a relapse. Angry that I had feelings brewing for her. Angry that there was this attraction, this wild attraction that made my pulse climb and my body react in ways that I didn’t like and could barely control. I stepped forward and backed her against the wall.
Her nipples were tight and pressed against her shirt and against me. Her tongue flicked over her bottom lip and she looked up at me through those thick lashes.
“Well, am I?”
That smart mouth. My lips were on hers. My body thrummed with a liquid heat. Her sweet full lips parted and my tongue slipped into her mouth. A little moan came from her throat and heat throbbed between my legs and up my spine. I pressed my hand along her tight T-shirt and cupped her breast. My thumb stroked over her tight bud of a nipple. Another tiny moan. Damn, she felt good. I pulled my mouth from hers.
“You’re none of those things,” I said. My gaze locked onto those big brown eyes. “You’re an entirely different kind of trouble for me.”
Her mouth curved into a smile. She leaned forward and this time, this time, she pressed her lips to mine.
*
Disheveled was the only word to describe our appearance when we got to the vet clinic. I arrived first. Alone. Sophia arrived soon after. A flush decorated her neck and that beautiful face that I’d spent the last hour kissing.
We’d made out like teenagers. Teenagers hiding from our parents.
And it had been awesome.
I stood beside the wall of cages in the vet clinic with my arms over my chest. Tessa and Angie went over a chart trying to decide if one of our lifers, an elderly dog with some serious behavioral issues, could withstand a surgery, or if palliative care was the best way to go. Charlie Slam’s crew and sound and camera people took up nearly every inch of space.
Sophia entered and Angie looked up. Big sis’s face changed from serious to downright somber. Her eyes roamed from Sophia’s toes to the top of her head. I thought Sophia looked good, damn good. But she looked a little bothered. Her thick black hair that ten minutes before I’d been running my hands through was a little messier than usual. Her lips a tiny bit chafed. She pulled at the bottom edge of her T-shirt and met Angie’s gaze full on. She didn’t flinch under Angie’s stare. Angie’s gaze slid from Sophia to me, and in her look I saw “are you kidding me?” Judgment and distaste and when it came right down to it, fear. Angie was afraid. Big time. Well, so the hell was I.
Sophia ticked all my trigger boxes. Off the wagon I would go and soon I’d have my face neck deep in blow with two hookers on the side.
Not really.
But maybe.
That was Angie’s fear. And I shared it. That damn fear. An addict never recovered, they were simply in recovery. The addiction, whatever flavor you had; pills, alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling just waited in the wings and did push-ups on the side. That fucker got stronger and stronger waiting for you to get cocky or self-satisfied, or for you to believe you had enough time without your drug of choice to be recovered. Then the fucker struck. Fast and hard. Three times. Three times in rehab. Four car accidents. Six arrests. It took me a long time to figure that shit out and I had to remember. I could never forget.
Then, again, I had Angie and her chair to keep me honest.
I jerked my chin towards Angie to let her know I knew. I knew she was afraid and I understood her fear. I shared it. I wasn’t cocky. I wasn’t sure. I did know I would always be an addict and this thing with Sophia didn’t feel like it was feeding my addiction. Sophia wasn’t nameless and faceless. I couldn’t kick her to the curb, or give her a wrong phone number, or tell her “sure baby, I’ll call” and never come through. That was the kind of bullshit I’d pulled for years when I was a star in L.A., but not anymore.
Sophia flipped her hair over her shoulder. My heart lurched. Nope this didn’t feel like that kind of sex. What kind of sex was it? Fuck if I knew. Sophia was the first woman I’d had since the model I banged in the bathroom at the HBO after-party just before I tried to drive Angie and me home. That was five years ago, after one rehab, a stint in jail, and our move to Pawtown. A lifetime. My gaze landed on the black wheels that moved Angie around. Black wheels that would forever move Angie around. Because of my fuckup. My addiction. My selfish acts.
Yeah, I needed to be more certain about what the hell I was doing with Sophia. We both did.
“People, are we ready?” Charlie walked into the vet clinic. He had a giant grin on his face, as though he was a cat who’d just plucked and deep-fried a canary. “Where is our little wounded pup?” Charlie’s eyes went to the cages behind my head.
“Here,” Luis called from the back door. Two camera guys and a boom guy obstructed Luis and Drummond’s path. Sophia cringed. She pressed her back against the wall.
“How you wa
nt to do this, Charlie?” I jumped in. I wasn’t going to sit here and let Sophia drown in her fear. No one deserved that. “Why don’t we go ahead and put Drummond on the exam table and let Doc begin to work on him? Maybe have Sophia stand beside Doc?”
Angie nodded. While big sis might be worried about me and the choices I was currently making, she definitely didn’t want Sophia to be humiliated on camera. Angie wasn’t that type of person. “Good idea. Why don’t you start your shot from there?” Angie asked.
Charlie’s smile grew wider. “Good suggestions all, but I have a different idea of what I want for the shot. Sophia, darling, I’d like you to go over and take Drummond’s lead from Luis and walk him to the exam table and then bend down and lift our adorable four-legged friend onto the table. Concern is what we’re going for here. Concern and penance.” Charlie moved to the monitor. “You are contrite. You are sympathetic. You feel bad that this gorgeous little boy got harmed at your hand.”
The color drained from Sophia’s face. She pulled her bottom lip under her top teeth. Charlie knew. He knew that Sophia was terrified of dogs, but he also knew what would make good reality TV.
“She can’t lift him,” I said. “He’s too big. She’ll need help lifting him.”
Charlie’s eyebrow ticked upward. The smile twitched. He was assessing. He was thinking. “Fine then. Sophia go take the lead from Luis, bring Drummond to the exam table and then you, Trick, will lift him up for Tessa.” Charlie’s eyes went from me to Angie. “We won’t need you in this shot, Angela. Will you come back here with me?”
“Nice.” Angie mouthed to me and rolled toward Charlie. She was pleased that I’d managed to save Sophia a little pain. We wouldn’t be able to keep Charlie from preying upon Sophia’s fears, but we might be able to give her a little more time to acclimate to the pups at Pawtown.
Sophia walked toward Luis. He wore a gentle smile on his face. Everyone at Pawtown knew how hard this work was for Sophia, and while her motives might not be the purest, everyone respected her for not whining. She kept going. You didn’t work with animals and not have empathy, patience, and perseverance—even for humans.
Luis handed her the leather braided lead. “He’s a good boy,” Luis said. “Gentle and kind. Wouldn’t hurt a soul.” Luis leaned in toward Sophia. “And I promise he doesn’t remember you.”
A tiny smile decorated Sophia’s face with Luis’s comment. “Thank goodness,” Sophia said. Drummond was a good boy. An American Staffordshire Terrier mix, he was thick and strong and full of muscles. He looked up toward Sophia and wagged his tail. The natural response would be for Sophia to pet Drummond. His look, his tail, his demeanor was an invitation by him to connect with her. Did she see the signs? Could she read them? Or was she still so phobic of dogs to even know that Drummond was asking her to be friends.
Sophia’s bottom lip trembled. She lifted her hand the slightest bit as though she considered petting Drummond, but instead she pulled her hand through her hair and tossed her locks over her shoulder. Her features changed. A mask. A hard mask of no emotion suddenly covered her fear, but I saw the fear that lingered in her eyes.
“Great,” Charlie said. “Now walk him over to Tessa and Trick.”
Drummond hobbled on his three legs to the exam table, keeping his weight off his cast. The distance was maybe four feet. Once he got to us he turned to Sophia. He jumped up onto her. His front two feet planted just above her waist.
“Ahh!” Sophia yelled. Her eyes widened and she pulled up her hands to her face to protect herself from Drummond.
“It’s okay. It’s okay.” I said and hustled toward Drummond. “He’s a good boy. He won’t hurt you.”
Sophia’s breathing was erratic and her eyes were wild with terror. I took the lead and Drummond continued to wag his tail. A tiny whine came from his throat. He looked at me as though he couldn’t understand why Sophia wouldn’t love him. He’d given her all the doggie signs that he wanted to be friends.
“Good boy. Get down buddy. Good boy.” He dropped to three of his four paws, the fourth made a loud tap because of the plastic and the cast. I bent over and picked up Drummond. Sophia scurried over toward the cabinets and the sink behind Doc and away from the exam table. She placed both hands on the counter and faced away from the cameras so that they couldn’t see her face. My gaze flicked toward Charlie as I set Drummond onto the table and Tessa moved forward to examine him.
There was a wicked smile on Charlie’s face. I was pretty certain at least one of the cameras in the room had zoomed in on Sophia. Damn. I was pretty certain what the story line would be. I glanced at Sophia over my shoulder. She took long deep breaths. She turned back toward the exam table and moved to the other side of Doc.
“Okay,” Doc said. “Let’s see how Drummond is doing.” Tessa gave Sophia a smile. “The break was clean and he had no internal injuries. I know you felt bad. I’ve heard you talk about it, but you know what, Sophia?”
Sophia glanced at Tessa and shook her head.
“He is going to be 100%, okay? He’s going to have full use of that leg. A happy happy dog with a new home.” Tessa put her arm around Sophia and pulled her close. “Okay?”
Sophia nodded. Her lips trembled and her eyes shone. Her bottom lip started to quiver. “Okay,” she said, her voice wavering with emotion.
“Okay,” Tessa said. “Now let’s get this cast off Drummond.”
Good TV? Yeah. Hard to take? Definitely. I was pretty sure that Charlie Slam was going to make Sophia pay the entire time his camera’s rolled.
Chapter 18
Sophia
“Okay, people, that’s it for today,” Charlie called from his video monitor. “Nice job, Sophia.”
I pulled a golden colored retriever mix puppy onto my lap. Five others squirmed around my thighs with their giant puppy paws. Their tiny little teeth nippy, but sweet.
I wasn’t scared. Not a bit. I’d spent the last four weeks, since the crew arrived, either in Puppyville or scooping poop. They’d gotten shots of me on the second day of filming cowering when Charlie scheduled me to walk a Great Dane. I heard that those shots, with my terrified face, were scheduled for the opening credits and the first episode.
“Trick, can I talk to you for a minute?” Charlie asked.
I pulled my gaze from Blaze, the puppy-momma who had just lain down to let her babies nurse. I caught Trick’s eye.
What did Charlie want? Trick’s and my “relationship” was meant to be a secret, but after some close calls and some prying eyes catching us making out in darkened doorways, I was pretty sure everyone on set knew about me and Trick. We hadn’t fooled Choo for even one day. He’d been on me the morning after my first night with Trick.
And Angie? She pretended not to know, at least with me. I didn’t know what she and Trick discussed because, well, Trick and I didn’t discuss it. Our “relationship.” The us of it all. That worked for me because I had no intention of becoming involved with Trick.
I stood and wiped my palms over the back of my jeans. It was time to walk Estrella. She’d been staying with me at Trick’s. Neither Estrella nor I were staying where we were meant to stay. I’d given up residence in the Volunteer Bungalow to the film crew, and Estrella was being fostered at Trick’s house. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what was going on at Trick’s place.
On my way out the front door of Puppyville, I passed Trick and Charlie and neither of them looked my way.
“Hey, Sophia!” I turned to the voice. Mary from administration, with her light brown hair and thick hips, hustled down the front steps and toward me.
My heart clenched. I knew. I knew what Mary wanted before she covered the ten feet that separated us, I knew before the words came from her mouth, I knew before she stopped in front of me wearing her Pawtown T-shirt and baggy khaki pants.
“Hey, Sophia.” A soft smile pulled at the edges of her lips. She pressed her palms together in front of her chest. “Listen, there’s a family who’d li
ke to come and meet Estrella.”
I kept a smile on my face, but my chest tightened. Estrella? A family for my Estrella? “Okay.” I nodded and my gaze slid in the direction of Trick’s bungalow, where Estrella waited for me and the walk we would take together.
I looked back at Mary. “This weekend?” A tiny hint of hope echoed in my voice, even I heard it. Pathetic. I was pathetic, of course. Estrella deserved her forever home and I wasn’t the person who could give it to her.
“Actually, they’re coming out this evening. Arriving around seven. Jill said she had time to give her a bath and a quick trim if you bring her by grooming this afternoon.”
“You mean this evening, like tonight?” My throat thickened around my words and heat clawed up the back of my throat. “But they won’t take her tonight, will they?”
“Well?” Mary pulled on her hands. “They could. But I think they want to do an overnight with her at the motel in town.” Mary backed away from me slowly. “Why don’t you take her for her walk and then take her over to grooming? Jill will be waiting. Okay?”
I nodded. “Okay.” A buzzing sound echoed in my ears and a numb feeling tingled through my mind.
“You can meet them if you want. They’ve got two little girls.”
My heart lifted a little. Girls. Two of them. Estrella would like that. She loved it when we had school kids as volunteers, or school tours of Pawtown. Mary hurried back toward the administration building. I turned toward Trick’s bungalow on the other side of Pawtown. My heart hurt. But I was being selfish. This might be the perfect family, the perfect home, the perfect fit for Estrella, and all I could think about was how I didn’t want her to go.
I couldn’t offer her a forever home. With my Q score still recovering all I could offer Estrella was a kennel, overnight boarding, and a few nights in Los Angeles with me a couple times a month. Not a good life for a dog. Not the kind of life that would make Estrella happy. Little girls with a yard? Yeah, that would be a good life, a great life for Estrella. So why did I feel so damned bad?
