by Melissa Blue
The violent sounds of Saints Row greeted him when he opened his front door. He found his brother and Porter sitting in the living room.
“Hey, man,” Porter said, but his attention never strayed from the screen.
If not for the short scruffy beard framing his dark brown face, he’d look rested and refreshed. His friend’s stare finally swept to him after another moment passed. He notched his chin in a silent message and then put down his controller.
“Starving. Got anything left to eat?” his friend asked in his deep baritone.
Grady’s stomach growled at the possibility of food. “I hope so or I’m charging you and everyone else rent just to cover groceries.” He tossed his laptop bag on the couch and got a grunt as a greeting from his brother when it landed near Wade’s hip.
Porter followed Grady into the kitchen, which wasn’t odd, but he stood too close. When he turned to glare, Porter put up a hand and gestured to the living room with his thumb. “How was the first day of school?”
A wash of cold hit him at the benign gesture and question. “Just like it was when we went to the university.” He kept his tone even, but knew that concerned brow furrow. Something was up and Porter didn’t want to make his worry obvious. Only Oliver gave no shits about sounding too emo. Probably because he came from a family of therapists.
“And I gave my students homework,” he added.
The other man snorted, a flash of amusement momentarily breaking through the concern. “You always were a prick.”
Grady opened his fridge and could only shake his head. All the beer was gone but at least there was just enough food to Frankenstein a meal. One to be exact. “Yeah. I’m ordering pizza and you’re paying for it.”
He grabbed two waters, tossed one to his friend and then leaned against the counter. Porter did the same, standing so close Grady could practically count facial hairs.
“So, um…” Porter cleared his throat. “…everything good?”
A trickle of fear and worry slid down his spine. Wade. Before Grady could stop it, his brain flashed through all the worse case scenarios.
This wasn’t just worry. His brother wasn’t okay. His brother would once again need to be hospitalized. For weeks Grady would wake up, knots in his gut, hoping today would just be okay. Not great, because fuck great when all he wanted was for his brother to stay asleep for more than an hour.
Calm. That’s what was called for and he fought to put that into his voice when he said, “From what I can tell. Notice anything?”
Porter crossed his arms. “May be nothing.”
His friend wouldn’t be practically crawling up his ass if it were nothing. Grady pulled off his glasses and tossed them on the counter. “But…”
“If you need me to come by when you’re at work…” Porter shrugged.
“Shit,” Grady muttered.
Wade had seemed fine the day before. Hell, for the past year since his brother was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, gotten on meds, there hadn’t been any manic episodes. Or ugly depressive states where Grady feared coming home and finding his brother had just given up on life.
His brother didn’t like to talk about it, but everyone knew. They watched for signs, hard to do at times because of the nature of Wade’s work. Was he working out a theory, on the cusp of a new discovery? Or had he gone two days without sleep because he couldn’t calm down?
Now that Grady thought about it, his brother practically living with him for the past couple of days could mean even Wade was worried about another episode.
Not again. “Shit.” He scrubbed a hand down his face.
Relief relaxed Porter’s posture, but the other man frowned. “Usually you’re more on top of this. What’s going on?”
He’d kissed a student in his classroom. A few weeks ago she hadn’t been. In a few weeks time she wouldn’t be…again. Try as he might to explain the complication, the bottom line was his life had entered one hell of a gray area. If his father wasn’t friends with the Dean he’d probably hyperventilate too. But, shit, having to talk to his father was…he’d rather get anal probed.
Right now, though, it was a small problem, manageable with just the hint of clusterfuck.
Grady pushed out a wry chuckle. “I met Aim2Misbehave today.”
His friend’s brows rose. “Finally? Where’d you guys decide to meet?”
Off the subject of his brother for now, Porter gave himself some elbowroom by moving down the counter. He still leaned against it with his arms crossed, but an amused smile ghosted along his mouth.
“We didn’t decide,” Grady said. “She’s in my class.”
Porter grinned and then he yelled. “Wade! You’re going to want to hear this.”
“What?” Wade screamed back, not bothering to get up. Yet. But he would for this.
Sometimes Grady really wanted to punch his friends, but after twenty years they were family. He did love them though they were a pain in his ass sometimes. “I’m ordering four pizzas and you’re paying for every single one, goddamn snitch.”
Porter didn’t lower his voice to add, “He finally met his girlfriend. She’s a student.”
“She’s not my girlfriend,” he muttered, knowing it would be ignored as always.
The house went silent. A few seconds later Wade strolled into the kitchen, with a shit-eating grin. He’d paused his game just to give Grady crap.
“Oh, really? And when did you plan on telling me this?”
Never, because he’d known this would be the reaction. A fucking sideshow. “Why does there need to be an audience for this?”
Wade motioned to Porter. “Victor and this numb nuts made a bet. Oliver and I got in on it eventually.”
Porter explained, “Victor and Wade said there was a real woman. Though they didn’t think you’d really go for her. You like to know too much upfront for a blind date, much less trust someone online.”
He rolled his shoulders, uncomfortable at his friend’s perceptive insight. “I’m not that shallow.”
Wade snorted. “You’re particular. And not just about looks.”
He hated to even ask, “What did Oliver and you think?”
Porter replied, “You were just trying to find excuses to watch porn.”
Grady stared at his friend and then his brother. “Fuck you both. I’m ordering six pizzas. You guys can fight over who pays, ’cause I’m not.”
His brother spread his hands. “Hey, I was on your side. I just didn’t think you’d actually go for her. Does she really have curly hair?”
He’d never shown his brother a picture. “How do you even—never mind. Yes. She looked better than her picture.”
She didn’t get entangled with teachers. Anymore didn’t need to be added, that regret had thinned her lips. But why in the hell did that make her eyes go opaque? Who or what had hurt her in a way that reminded Grady of Wade at his lowest?
Something had. She’d waltzed up to him brave and sure, but slowly she’d started to pale and shake. They’d had plenty of disagreements. They’d talked politics, religion and whether or not a second season of Firefly, more than a decade after the end of the show, could have held up to the hype. She wasn’t afraid of confrontation or speaking her mind.
Yet she’d started to crumble in front of him.
All he’d wanted to do was comfort her, damn the complications, but the moment they’d touched, reason had flown out his mind. She was soft, warm. Her scent was a mixture of lavender and cinnamon—two things he’d never fathomed could turn him on, but the fragrance had, she had. No fucking way would he let her walk now that they’d finally laid eyes on each other. He’d needed to know if everything about her was better in person.
The problem was her hang-ups seemed to go well past the conflict of interest between them. Six weeks and they would be in the free and clear to do what they wanted without a worry. Hell, they’d already crossed one too many lines and he’d need his TA to deal with all her assignments. They were neck deep in
a clusterfuck already. He scrubbed a hand through his hair.
Porter whistled. “She’s got you looking glassy-eyed just talking about her.”
Maybe. Probably. “No, it’s just…nothing.” He pulled out his phone to avoid more questions, hitting speed dial for the pizza. “I’ll be nice and get some of your favorite toppings.”
His friend just laughed, low and deep. And Wade, he smiled again but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.
*****
Where r u?!!!
Since this was the third text in the span of five minutes, Eva stopped under the maples that weaved a path to her classroom. Her sister’s texts would just keep coming if she didn’t reply.
Headed to class to drop off homework.
Wat?
Eva rolled her eyes.
No. Seriously, I’m fine. Turning off my phone though. Class.
She didn’t feel an ounce of guilt over the lie. Now she wouldn’t have to answer anymore texts for an hour. Eva stuffed her phone into her pocket. What did her sister not understand about minor car accident? The idiot in the parking lot had run through the stop sign.
Not surprising she had an accident though. The past week she’d felt like a stunt car driver whenever maneuvering through the lot. Teenagers with the ability to drive and the belief nothing bad could ever happen…Yeah.
The front right side of her car was partially crushed like a soda can, her bell was still ringing a little from the airbag deployment and a cut criss-crossed her left eye. But the latter was from the ring on her finger connecting with her face during the accident.
She was fine though and would survive this week from hell. It had started with meeting Grady, and finding out he was her professor. Not being able to drop Grady’s class unless she was willing to take the GE course in the fall, and now the accident.
And still, Eva had survived worse. Not that her sister would ever believe the “No, seriously, I’m fine.” Lauren still hadn’t gone out for drinks with friends and maybe, you know, gotten some dick to distract her. Not a high priority for Eva at the moment.
She checked the time on her cell. Fifteen minutes left of class. She muttered a curse and picked up the pace. She was so behind after having to wait for the cops and for the ambulance to look her over because head wounds, even small ones, bled like a bitch.
Out of the six-week course she could miss maybe two days tops. Couldn’t miss turning in a single assignment. The latter was why she elongated her walk and hoped the cold shoulder she’d given Grady for the past week didn’t bite her in the ass. He was very strict about turning in assignments at the beginning of class.
So she sped-walked to at least catch him before he left for the day. A face-to-face was required. And, just in case, she had the report number from the accident. But he wouldn’t be a hard ass…would he? Grady wasn’t petty…she hoped.
She made it outside the lecture hall just as her classmates were exiting. Those who paid any attention to her, gave her a sidelong glance. Her black shirt and denim shorts were covered in powder from the airbags. She looked like she’d had a nooner with Scarface on his cocaine littered desk.
A few more steps and then she was inside the emptying room. Soon it would be just her and Grady for the first time in a week. Yeah, he’d sent her a message or two on the forums, ones she’d read and read again but hadn’t allowed herself to answer.
Even though she kept sitting in the back of the class, his gaze would find her, often. She’d break eye contact first because she couldn’t breathe when he looked at her with such longing.
The kiss had knocked her socks off but that didn’t change the fact that her fun and flirty Firefly geek came with a crapload of complications. Red flags and sirens had gone off in her head the moment she’d known his real identity. She’d learned the hard way not to ignore them. So it sucked. She’d missed him but there was no alternative. They were done.
His back was to her as she descended steps to the main floor. Today she wouldn’t freak out. He would have no reason to offer comfort. She had no doubt his comfort would turn into something much more intense and hot and undeniable. Grady couldn’t be more nerve-wracking than a car accident. That simply wouldn’t be fair to womankind.
She watched her step, but turned her backpack forward to pull out her homework. It was a good portion of her grade, and she’d been out of school long enough good grades still mattered. She didn’t just want to pass with a C.
Fifty feet away now. It was do or die. “Professor Addison?”
His back stiffened at the sound of her voice. Grady turned his head in profile. “Instructor,” he corrected then added, “you’re speaking to me?”
She couldn’t call the question petty from the rough tone of his voice. Angry? Annoyed? She couldn’t pinpoint the emotion, but when he faced her, his jaw was a hard line.
“Um, I know I missed class today, but I’m hoping you’ll still take my assignment.”
His brows went up as his gaze dropped down to her shoes and worked its way up. Dousing herself with gasoline then lighting a match close to the fumes probably would have been the equivalent of what his stare did to her. Her knees threatened to give way.
He frowned when his stare fixated on the gauze above her right eye. “What happened?”
“Minor car accident. I’m fine.” She thrust the paper in his direction. “I have the report number if you need it.”
“I didn’t take you for a liar.”
And there it was. Their pink spotted elephant. It could ride a unicycle and do flips and neither of them would have dared to point at the spectacle. Face the tension or run?
He’d taken her assignment without comment. There wouldn’t be a lecture. She wouldn’t have to worry about failing the class this early on. She could go and end her shitty day with chocolate or rewatching “Out of Gas”. That episode of Firefly made her sob, every time, but it also gave her hope, every time, she’d watched it. She needed some hope.
But she hadn’t run from her problems in a very long while. She wouldn’t start now just because being near Grady made the hairs on her nape tingle. He was a lightning rod and she was that crack of light in the sky.
“I…” She swallowed. “I lie by omission. We could have avoided this if I’d made it okay to talk about the details of our life.”
He tilted his head at the honest confession. “You knew I was a college instructor.”
When he’d told her that a twinge shot through her stomach. Yet he was nothing like Aiden. Grady was smart but he didn’t parade around that fact, or berate people for not being the same. He was funny, didn’t take himself too seriously. He’d seemed uncomplicated.
“True, but now you’re my professor. When I signed up for classes I would have avoided Grady Addison, American History. I’ll be here for at least another year. You want to have sex with me for a year, date me for a year and tell no one else? What would the Dean do if he found out?” She lifted her hand and shook her head. “We met online. We had…something and now it’s done.”
He stayed quiet for a long moment. The way his brows furrowed she was sure he would take complicated and turn into unreasonable. “Why are you covered in cocaine?”
Much to her embarrassment she snorted before laughing. This is why they had clicked. They shared the same twisted sense of humor.
With a smile she said, “I told you, I was in a car accident. Apparently the only way to save your life is to douse you in powder first.”
His gaze went up to the gauze above her brow. “Are you okay?”
She’d given him the cold shoulder for a week and he still cared if she were hurt. That told her more about the man he was than all the conversations they had had. “I’m fine. I swear.” She lifted her hand to show him the gaudy ring that matched her sandals. “I hit myself in the face with my ring. And to be honest, I was more worried about getting my homework in on time.”
He shifted and the air crackled between them. Grady didn’t get closer to her. He didn�
�t have to for her next breath to be filled with him. For her to itch at the thought he was so close but she couldn’t touch him.
His gaze lingered on the gauze for another moment, before he sighed. “I have rules in my classroom because I like order, like for things to be what they are.” He was trying to be an instructor by explaining his reasoning for accepting her assignment, but his eyes, his demeanor told the truth. He wanted her, not a co-ed. “And, students would give me this assignment six weeks from now if I let them. I make exceptions. I base that on the circumstance. An accident qualifies.”
“Do I qualify, period?” she had to ask that question.
“I want to say no, but that would be a lie. I can be fair. That’s what I can offer you. My TA will be looking over all your work, because saying ‘we’re over’ doesn’t change anything between us.” He took another step toward her.
All she had to do was lift her hand to feel the rough brush of his five o’clock shadow. Just rise to the tips of her toes and his mouth would brush hers. Then she wouldn’t need to breathe in his scent. He’d be inside her, using his tongue instead of words to soothe her.
This close to him she couldn’t remember why she’d laid out boundaries to keep their relationship in check. She only wanted—no, needed to know just how soft the strands of his hair would be as she parted them with her fingers, gripping the locks tight as their mouths fused together.
Maybe those thoughts flashed in her eyes because his nostrils flared. She tried, really she did, not to touch him but he was right there, eating up her space with his legs braced apart, his shoulders wide. She placed a hand to his stomach. Eva told herself the action was meant to push him back, but she could feel the ridges of his abs.
“Grady, I—We—You…Shit.”
A corner of his mouth tugged up into a smirk and beckoned her to do something dumb. Like sinking her teeth into his bottom lip until he groaned into her mouth. “Deep breath,” he said with a quiet laugh. “Try again. You’ll spit it out eventually.”
Her gaze narrowed but she didn’t, couldn’t drop her hand. “That’s so patronizing.”
