by Andi Jaxon
“I need you,” my voice breathy with need.
“Condom,” he bites out.
“I’m on birth control. I trust you.”
His eyes close for a moment, then his mouth is on my mine and he’s buried as deep inside of me as he can get. He doesn’t stop moving, slamming in, and pulling out in quick, sharp, thrusts. Alex’s palms slap the counter next to my ass and he leans on them, changing the angle just a little. Just enough to hit that magic spot. I cry out, his mouth still fused to mine.
I hold onto his head, the only thing I can do to stay grounded. He plays my body like a master musician, instinctively knowing every string to pluck at exactly the right moment. His lips rip from mine, his eyes boring into mine while his hips piston in and out of my body. He takes what he wants, what he needs, and I hang on for the ride.
“Mine.” His growl rumbles down my spine. “Say it.”
I can’t concentrate on words or speaking, only the way his body makes mine feel.
“Say it!”
“Yo… yours.” The words are almost inaudible, as I’m gasping for air.
“Rub your clit, cum on my dick.”
My hand moves to follow his command. The wetness pooling in my sex making my fingers slide effortlessly over the bundle of nerves. Within seconds, my muscles tighten, my pussy tingles, and I’m flung over the edge of orgasm, screaming my release. Alex buries his face in the crook of my neck, his rhythm increases then he’s twitching inside of me. Jets of hot cum fill me. My head hits the cabinet behind me with a thud, my breathing erratic, my body tired and sweaty.
From my neck, Alex’s voice is mumbled. “You’re mine.”
Wiping the sweat from my forehead, then running my hand over my hair, it drops back to the counter. “You don’t do relationships. Don’t make this more complicated than it has to be.”
I’ve done casual sex in the past, but there’s no way my emotions won’t get involved here. They already fucking are and I hate myself for that weakness. For feeling special because he wants me. Logically, I know I’m an idiot for falling for the bullshit. He sleeps around, I know that. There’s no room for emotions and feelings. My stupid heart hasn’t gotten the memo.
Lifting his head from my neck, he looks at me. Taking in my expression and the wall I’m trying to put up between us.
“Kristen, I want this. Whatever this is.”
Pushing his chest, he takes a step back, giving me room to get down. The evidence now running down my thighs. Taking a deep breath, I cross my arms under my chest. “Why? What makes you want to be in a relationship with me when you haven’t been in one since you were a teenager?”
“Something draws me to you. You’re different.” His forehead creases while he searches for the right words.
“How do I know you don’t tell that to every girl you sleep with?” even to me, I sound like a bitch, but I have to know that its the truth. I have to know that I’m not falling for a cheap line.
“The only other person I’ve ever said that too, is dead.”
Alex
I KNOW MY REPUTATION proceeds me, but fuck does it hurt when she questions my intentions. I have never lied to any of the girls I’ve taken to bed, they have always known the score before getting naked. Not once have I spouted off some flowery, poetry just to get laid. I’m not an asshole.
Grabbing my clothes from the floor of Kristen’s bedroom, I yank them on. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I pull my boots on and lace them up. Angry at myself for thinking she saw more than my reputation.
“Alex?” my name is soft, unsure.
Turning my head, I can see her in my peripheral, but I don’t make eye contact. She found her clothes and has gotten dressed, fixed her hair into that crazy bun thing girls do.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” Her arms are wrapped around her stomach and she’s chewing on her lip.
Standing, I head toward her and stop when there’s just a breath of space between us. There’s so much I want to say to her. This is definitely not how I wanted to leave here today, but I can’t change that now. I lean forward and kiss her hair, inhaling the sweet scent of her shampoo, then walk past her and leave her apartment.
I’ve got shit to do that didn’t get done yesterday. A neighborhood to take care of, kids to feed, shit to fix. If she doesn’t want to see the truth in my words, I can’t make her, but I won’t let it stop me from being the person I am.
After changing into yard work clothes, I grab my lawn mower from the garage and head toward Mrs. Morris’ house. It’s been a wet summer so her grass is in need of a cut. I leave the mower on her lawn and head to the door to knock.
“Well hello, Mr. Bennet.” The sweet voice of eighty-six-year-old Mrs. Morris comes through the screen door.
“Hey there, I just wanted to let you know I’m going to be mowing in case you want to shut your front windows.”
“That’s so kind of you, thank you.” Her smile melts my heart, like it always does. She’s the sweetest old lady I’ve ever met, yet her family never comes to visit. She’s been a widow since long before I moved in and I don’t think I’ve ever seen her kids or grandkids visit. They have no idea what they’re missing out on.
“You’re very welcome, have a good day.”
“You too, young man.” She closes the door and I head back to the mower, hoping some physical activity will keep me from thinking too much about Kristen. About how much I want her in my life.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t take me very long to mow her grass or the two other houses on this street that need it done. Pushing the mower back to my garage, I get it put away and pull out the supplies to wash my car. I need to keep busy, keep my mind occupied until I can head to work.
Bucket of cold sudsy water, scrub brush, and music blasting from my phone is all I need to get to work. I’m sweaty from mowing in the sun but the cold water cools me down quickly.
“Hey, Alex!” a young voice calls from right behind me.
“How’s it going, JJ?” I nod to him.
“I’m bored. You want any help?” he looks hopeful, but I doubt it has anything to do with washing my car, he has something on his mind he wants to talk to me about.
“Sure, grab a scrub brush and start on the other side,” I tell him, motioning to the bucket with my bubble covered hand.
Without a word, he plunges his hand in the bucket and searches for the brush. It only takes a second for him to grab it and move toward the front of my Jeep. He sets to work, taking his job very seriously from the looks of it. I don’t ask him any questions, knowing he’ll talk when he’s ready. It seems we both have a busy mind and a heavy heart today.
“Uh, Alex?” JJ’s tone is uncharacteristically nervous.
“Yeah, buddy. What’s up?” I flick a quick glance at him. He’s scared of something, biting his lip, picking at something on his pants, head lowered to his chest.
“Um… do you… do you think…” he takes a deep breath, squeezes his eyes closed. “DoyouthinkIcouldstaywithyou?” he talks so quickly, it’s just one big jumble of words and I didn’t catch anyone of them.
“What was that?” I’m watching him when he lifts his head.
“Do you think I could stay with you?” once the question is out, words start tumbling out of his mouth faster than I can hear them. “I won’t bother you at all, I promise. I’ll feed myself, stay out of your way, and I won’t leave dirty clothes on the floor-”
“JJ!” I hold my hand up in between us to get his attention. “Slow down, I can’t understand you when you talk that fast.”
His head drops back to his chest, but he nods in understanding.
“What’s going on at home?” I’m crouched down in front of him, my hand on his arm. I care about this kid, deeply. He’s not just a neighborhood kid, he’s got a place in my heart that will never be replaced by anyone else.
JJ picks at his fingers, obviously not wanting to answer.
“JJ, I can’t help if you don’t tell me w
hat the problem is.” Ducking my head down, I catch his eyes with mine. The tears welling up in his breaks my heart. Wrapping my arms around him, I pull him in for a tight hug. He hugs me back with his arms around my neck. “What’s going on, bud?”
JJ hides his face in my neck and squeezes me tighter. This is extremely abnormal for him, now I’m worried. Has someone died? Is he in trouble? What the hell is going on?
Standing, I pick him up and carry him into the house to give us some privacy, hoping it will get him to open up some. I sit on the couch with him tucked into my lap. He’s small for ten years old and in this moment of vulnerability, I see just how young he is. He puts on such a brave face, he’s strong and in control for the rest of the kids. He takes on so much responsibility that it makes him appear older than he is, but really, he’s a kid.
“Mom has a boyfriend.” The whisper coming from my neck. “I don’t like him.”
I rub my hand up and down his back knowing he needs the comfort, and right now, so do I. “Why don’t you like him? Has he done something or said something to you?”
“He’s nice in front of Mom, but he’s different when she’s not in the room. He doesn’t like me, but he makes Mom smile and laugh so it would be better if I left.”
“No, JJ, that would not be better. Your mom’s world revolves around you and your brother. If this guy is making you uncomfortable, she needs to know.” Lifting him to sitting, I need him to understand how serious I am. “Your mom will hate herself if finds out years later that you didn’t like this guy. She loves you more than anyone else.”
“So, I can’t stay with you?” the drop in his shoulders tells me he hasn’t really heard me.
“You are always welcome here, any time, but you have to talk to your mom. It’s important.”
“Okay.”
With my hand on the back of his neck, I bring his forehead to mine. “This is one of those times that you have to be vulnerable to someone that means the most to you. I know it’s hard, the fear of being laughed at or blown off is extreme. I’ve been there man, I know. But I promise you, your mom will listen.”
JJ’s eyes meet mine and he nods, determination finally clear on his face. “Thanks. Can we finish washing your car now?”
I let him go and he gets up. “Of course, you aren’t leaving until that baby is shining,” my typical smirk back on my face. I rough his hair as I pass him and jog out the door.
“Hey! Watch the hair!” he hollers behind me.
“Got a hot date? Lookin’ good for the ladies?” I tease, picking up my scrub brush once again.
“Maybe, I gotta keep my options open, ya know?” he gives me a smirk that reminds me way too much of my own and gets back to scrubbing.
“Get ‘em killer.”
We both laugh, flicking bubbles and chilly water at each other while we finish up. Picking up the hose, I rinse the car and spray JJ a few times. He helps me clean up and get everything put away before I grab my bag and head to work.
Kristen
AFTER ALEX LEFT, I sat on my bed to think. I hate that I hurt him. I didn’t actually think I was capable of it, if I’m being honest, but the hurt on his face when he left, broke my heart a little. How can I trust that he’s different with me when I’ve never seen him with anyone else? I have no comparison. It feels real though. The way he takes me, kisses me, cares for me. I want to be different. I want to be the one that makes him want to be different, but doesn’t every girl want that? To secretly be the princess? To be special?
Shaking the thoughts off, I grab a quick shower and force my mind to stay busy. Ben’s case is still spread out on my living room floor, I need to read over my article before submitting it to my editor, and I’m sure there’s other assignments waiting for me in my email.
After getting dressed and eating a chicken salad, I’m ready to face the day with my favorite “Don’t be a salty bitch” water bottle. At my desk, I read over my article about Alex and all the amazing changes he’s brought to the lives of the people he lives near. The families are happier, the kids are healthier, the streets are cleaner. He really is a remarkable man. Rubbing at the pang in my chest, I take a deep breath. I need to talk to him and apologize, but I have a feeling actions will mean more to him than words.
An idea pops into my head, one I can’t believe has taken me this long to come up with. Picking up my phone, I scroll through my contacts until I come to the Bennet house phone.
“Hello?” David’s voice calls through the line.
“Hello, David, this is Kristen. I have a question and possibly a favor to ask.” If he can’t help me, I have no idea who else to call.
“Well okay, Kristen. What’s your question?” He chuckles at my lack of chit chat.
“Can you build things? Like go to Home Depot, pick up wood and screws, and build something?” Could I sound any weirder?
“Well, I’m pretty handy with power tools. What are you needing?”
“I want to build a lending library for Alex’s neighborhood. Do you think you could help me? I want to help build it, but I’ve never even used a drill.” I shrug sheepishly, even though he can’t see me.
David chuckles again. “I can definitely help you, let me dig up some building plans and I’ll get back to you. Do you have a time frame that you want this done?”
“Honestly, as soon as we can. I think the kids will love it and I’m already itching to go buy books.” I laugh at myself, shopping for other people is one of my favorite things and when that also includes books? I’m a goner.
“I understand, let me see what I can find, and I’ll give you a call back in an hour or so. Does that work for you?”
“That’s perfect! Thank you so much!” I end the call and my head spins with ideas on how to decorate it, what books to put inside, where to put it, and how to cover these damn hickeys Alex left…
A few hours later, David and I are in Home Depot picking up the supplies he says we need. The plans he showed me seem simple enough and he’s confident we can get it built today. I’m itching to fill it with books. Harry Potter, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Golden Compass, all the amazing books I read that helped shape me as a young reader. I hoping to have it up by the time Alex gets home from work in the morning.
Checking the time, I see we have a few hours still until Alex leaves for work. “I really want this to be a surprise for him, can we build it somewhere else and take it over to his house to install it?” I look at David as he inspects roofing tiles.
“Absolutely, I have all the tools we’ll need at my house to build it.”
“Great. I’m thinking the kids should paint it, put their mark on it, you know?”
He turns toward me with a smile, “I think he would love that, and so will they. They’re good kids.”
I’ve been doubting this since I called David for help, but by the pride on his face, I can tell this is a good idea. I’m kind of surprised no else has thought of it already. I guess it takes a book lover to get shit done sometimes.
David and I get back to the house and unload the supplies, there’s a surprising amount of them for such a small house. “Would you like something to eat or drink? I’m a terrible cook but I can make a pretty good peanut butter and jelly sandwich.”
I laugh, “PB and J sounds great. I’m going to go clean up a bit, I’ll be right back.”
My back is turned when David hollers from the kitchen, “I’m sure you remember where the bathroom is…”
My cheeks flush with embarrassment and I miss a step, stumbling a bit into the wall. He chuckles, laughing at his own joke. I guess I know where Alex gets it from. Closing the door in the bathroom, I’m hit with the memory of Alex fucking me against this sink while I watched in the mirror. In my mind, I can see it so clearly, the determination on his face, the teeth marks on my skin. A shiver courses through me, steeling my breath. I close my eyes. My hand reaches up to touch my neck and I can feel my pulse on a sensitive spot he left behind.
Something on
the counter catches my attention and I realize something. Alex is the first person I’ve let go down on me and it happened right here. Conflicting emotions riot through my body. Excitement over trying something new, and having an amazing orgasm from it, and yet disgusted at the thought. He seemed like he wanted to do it, like he enjoyed doing it, but I don’t know if I can let it happen again. It’s dirty and not in a good way.
“Sandwiches are ready when you are!” David’s voice travels through the door, shaking the dangerous hold my thoughts had on me. Washing my hands, I leave the bathroom to find David sitting at the table with two plates, both piled high with chips and blueberries.
“This looks great, thanks.” I say as I sit down and dig in.
“You’re welcome.” He mumbles around a mouth full of sandwich. The silence between us is comfortable as we eat our lunches. He’s right, he does make a mean peanut butter and jelly sandwich. When we’re done, I pick up both plates and set them in the kitchen sink.
“Ready to get your hands dirty?” David says, rubbing his hands together like an evil mastermind.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.” I smile at him, following him out to the garage.
“Alright, let me check the plans to see how long these two by fours need to be, then you can measure and mark them for me.”
“Sounds like a plan,” he picks up the plans and hands me a red rectangular pencil. We work in companionable silence, him teaching me how to use the different saws, the drill, and how to set the roof tiles. By the time it’s built, it’s well after dark, I’m sweaty and exhausted, but so damn proud. I helped build this. The smile on my face is starting to hurt my cheeks but I don’t care. I made a thing!
Clapping me on the back, David pulls me into his side for a hug. “You did an excellent job, kid.”
