“Is there anything we can do to help?” Grandmother leaned forward.
“Non.” She shrugged. “I do not know. Maybe. Jean-Michel had been doing better. Alaska seems to agree with him, but now this. There is a . . . oh . . . what is the English word . . . démon—”
“Demon.” Katherine barely uttered the word.
“Oui. Demon. It is inside of my brother—keeping him from forgetting. It torments him so.” She moved to the door. “I must go.”
“Thank you for telling me.” Katherine stood and hugged Collette. “You’ve grown up so much since the last time I saw you in France.”
“Merci. I fear he’ll find out I’ve come and be angry.” The girl rushed from the room as if she’d done something wrong.
Fear began to wiggle its way up Katherine’s spine. Collette said she feared Jean-Michel would find out. If Collette was this afraid . . . then maybe she should be as well. But Jean-Michel had shown her nothing but kindness . . . tenderness.
Randall had done the same—before they’d married.
Katherine shuddered. Perhaps she should avoid any relationship with Jean-Michel. One man had already hurt her enough.
As she stood there staring at the door, she could almost feel her husband’s fingers tightening around her throat. He often threatened to cut off her air supply, and to this day, Katherine couldn’t bear to have anything around her neck. Breathing in through her nose, she prayed silently. He had no power over her any longer.
“Katherine?”
For a moment, she’d forgotten that Grandmother was still in the room. “Hmm?”
“Jean-Michel isn’t Randall.”
How could the woman read her thoughts? She put her hands on the door. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“I’ve seen you react this way before. When fear takes over.” Something tapped on the floor. It must be her cane. “You’re afraid that your relationship with Jean-Michel will only spell pain. You want to protect yourself from that.”
Katherine turned around and swallowed. “Yes, Grandmother. It scares me, I’ll admit it. Watching him today broke my heart.”
“You must remember that God has the ability to heal the past. To heal the heart and the mind. Have you considered how He might use you to be instrumental in helping the man you love?”
“But I’m not strong enough.” She shook her head.
“God is.”
“Of course, God is strong. He’s God. But . . . it’s hard for me to . . . to understand how that helps me.”
“Do you not remember what happened in the cave, my dear?” Grandmother walked over and grabbed her hand and squeezed. “Stop trying to do this all by yourself. God doesn’t call you to bear these burdens alone. If you try to carry it yourself, you’ll fail every time.” With that, she turned and walked toward their adjoining bath. “I’ll see you at dinner. I believe I need to lie down for a while.”
Katherine walked over to the bed, weary and drained. In a very unladylike fashion, she flopped down on the mattress on her back and looked at the ceiling. It was true . . . she was attempting to do it all on her own. Again. And she simply couldn’t. Frankly, she was tired of trying. At only twenty-five years old, she should feel young and vibrant, and yet she wandered around like an old lady. Things had to change. It seemed for every step she took forward in her faith, something happened to send her three steps back. She let go a heavy sigh.
God, You’re going to have to handle this, because I can’t. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know how to feel. And I’m scared.
She put a hand over her eyes. After her marriage to Randall she had never expected to be happy again. She had believed her life was over—that she would forever be nothing more than a puppet controlled by a cruel master. But everything changed. She’d been handed new life. A fresh start. Was she truly going to allow a man in the grave to dictate the outcome of the rest of her life?
Grandmother once told her that Christians had to take up their cross daily. Katherine hadn’t understood until she explained further about Jesus being forced to carry His own cross to the place where they would kill Him.
“He was made to carry the very thing that the Romans would use to end His life.” Grandmother had been teary. “And now we are called to take up our own cross.”
“And if it kills us?” Katherine pushed.
“It won’t,” Grandmother assured. “We’re called only to take it up—not carry it alone. God will never leave us to bear it alone; otherwise, it surely would kill us.”
Katherine considered this for a moment. Jean-Michel was trying to carry this burden alone. Just as she had tried to carry Randall’s abuse. Perhaps if they shared each other’s burdens, it could truly lighten the load for both.
Maybe she could help Jean-Michel after all. They were just two broken, burdened people in love. And two together was better than one alone.
20
The larger she grew with this baby, the lower Cassidy sank into the bed. She was pretty sure it would have a permanent indentation from her time of bed rest.
Shaking her head, she pushed up with her arms to sit higher.
Allan walked in with her dad. “Good evening, my darling. How are you feeling?”
“Large.”
Dad chuckled.
Allan came over and kissed her cheek. “But you’re beautiful as ever.”
“I’m glad you think so.” Cassidy put her embroidery aside. “Tell me about the fire. I’ve been hearing different stories all day.”
“Coal dust got into an overheated engine and it blew. The fire is contained now, no one was hurt, and Mr. Bradley is already talking to the railroad executives about moving the power plant out of the engine house when they rebuild.” Allan was good at being concise. She’d give him that.
“Mrs. Johnson told me that a lot of the workers were worried. Because we’re so remote, they were afraid a fire could spread and burn down everything before anyone could come help.”
Dad came over and patted her hand. “That’s true. But we’ve had some good discussions downstairs. When they rebuild, they’re talking of more water lines and fire hydrants to help in case of another fire.”
“That sounds like a good idea.” Cassidy crossed her arms over her growing middle. It made a nice shelf. “And how is the new annex coming along? I heard that the bunkhouse is done and all the cottages.”
“It’s fine.” Dad shrugged. “But I thought you’d be more excited to know that your cottage is ready, and as soon as the doctor says we can move you, you’ll have your own home.”
She looked at Allan. “Really?”
“Yes.” His smile exploded on his face and he leaned down to hug her. “But we will wait to see what the doctor says, right?”
She huffed. “All right.” Looking down at her belly, she spoke to it, a common habit now. “You behave yourself in there and promise to wait until it’s time to make your appearance, little one.”
“It will all be worth it in the end.” Dad leaned over the other side of the bed and kissed the top of her head. “I better get back down to the agent’s office. Now that they have the new gas car to take people to the Willow and Montana Creeks, we can barely keep up with the scheduling.”
“Love you, Dad. Thanks for stopping by.” Cassidy turned back to her husband. “You don’t have to go too, do you?”
“Not for a few minutes. But since you’re laid up, we’ve had to let Mrs. Johnson have Thomas two days a week. It makes for an interesting time—we’ve gotten spoiled with all his help.”
She tapped the mattress with her hand. “Fiddlesticks, I forgot to ask Dad something.”
“What is it? Maybe I can help?”
“Collette was in here earlier. I was wondering if maybe he had some time to spend with her brother. He needs . . . something.”
“We did discuss this earlier. Jean-Michel has to be willing to receive help.”
“I think maybe he is now. Collette said he was asking her questions she di
dn’t feel she could answer.”
Allan kissed her hand. “Always out to help the hurting, aren’t you, darling? If I recall, you’ve always cheered on the underdog.” He leaned back. “I love that about you.”
“I love you too.” Even after two years of marriage, the looks he gave her could still make her blush. “You’ll ask Dad?”
“Yes, I’ll ask him. I think Mr. Langelier is scheduled to go on the hike up to Regalvista later this week.” He leaned in to kiss her. “I hate to leave you, but I have to get back to work.”
He tasted like coffee and chocolate cake. “I know.” She licked her lips. “Would you have someone bring me a piece of chocolate cake? I suddenly have a hankering for it.”
Just then the door burst open. “I’ve absolutely had it with that man!” Mrs. Johnson declared as she came into the room with a plate of cake and glass of milk.
“Look, darling, ask and it shall be given.” Allan grinned at the sheepish-looking Mrs. Johnson. “She was just asking me to get someone to bring her a piece of cake.”
“I’m sorry for my outburst.” She hurried to Cassidy’s side. “I thought you could use some milk to drink—strengthen the baby—and I thought it might go down better with a piece of cake.”
“Well, you two gals have fun settling the problems of the world.” Allan gave a casual salute before exiting the room.
Mrs. Johnson went to the door and closed it. “I can’t work with that Scotsman!”
“What’s the matter now?” Cassidy picked up the fork and dug into the cake. Oh, but it was good!
“He’s rearranged my kitchen. My kitchen!” Mrs. Johnson paced at the end of the bed. “The nerve of that man to tell me he was just trying to set it up to be more practical and efficient.”
Cassidy washed down the cake with some milk. She dabbed her mouth with a napkin, then asked, “And was it?”
Mrs. Johnson frowned. “Was it what?”
“More practical and efficient?”
The older woman’s face reddened. “That’s not the point.”
Cassidy giggled. “Sorry.” She turned her attention back to the cake.
“I can’t have a total stranger waltzing into my kitchen and making changes. I can’t even find half of my ingredients. He says they’re in perfect order and clearly labeled, but there’s nothing either perfect or clear about it.” She plopped down on the chair by Cassidy’s bed.
“So change it back.”
Mrs. Johnson looked at her like she’d lost her mind. “I haven’t got the time. I’m already meeting myself coming and going.”
“I guess you miss me.” Cassidy took another bite.
“Oh, Cassidy Faith, you’re exasperating. I don’t know what to do with him. He’s capable—there’s no doubt about it, but he even suggested I change the recipe for my rolls. I want to haul off and slug him a good one.”
Cassidy couldn’t contain her laughter. “If you do . . . please let me know when.”
Mrs. Johnson looked at her with an odd expression. “What? What are you talking about?”
“If you decide you’re going to hit him—let me know first.”
“Why? So you can risk life and limb to come down and try to stop me?”
“No. See, there’s a bet going on with the kitchen staff and some of the laundry girls as to how long it’ll be until you lose your patience and wallop him. I just want to know so I can place my bet and win.”
Mrs. Johnson’s mouth dropped open, and without another word she got up and went to open the door. She turned back and shook her head. “And I thought I might get a little sympathy here.”
Cassidy raised her glass toward the woman. “Remember where you told me to look for sympathy.”
Mrs. Johnson rolled her eyes and muttered, “In the dictionary.”
JULY 20
Collette had an idea and was on a mission. Maybe if she could get Katherine to spend some time with Cassidy, she could see how happy a married couple could be. Then Jean-Michel could heal, they could get married, and they could all have their happily-ever-after.
After traipsing all over the hotel, she finally found Katherine in the dining room with her grandmother.
“Good morning, Collette.” Mrs. Harrison smiled and waved.
“Bonjour. How lucky to find you two this morning.” She bounced on her toes. “I have an idea for today and was hoping you’d like to come with me to visit Mrs. Brennan.”
“Who, dear?” The older woman tilted her head.
“Mrs. Brennan—she’s the chef’s assistant—except right now she’s laid up in her room because she’s with child. Her husband and father are the expedition guides.”
Mrs. Harrison glanced at Katherine. “Well, we normally don’t spend a lot of time with the staff—”
Katherine laughed. “Oh, Grandmother, the times are changing. I’ve never known you to act this way.”
Collette found her opportunity. “She’s a lovely person, and has been a friend to me. You would both like her very much, and since she’s confined, I’m afraid she’s quite lonely.” Well, maybe that wasn’t the whole truth, but it might help her cause. “I’ve even been teaching her a little French to keep her mind off things.”
“It would be lovely to meet this friend of yours, Collette.” Katherine stood.
Mrs. Harrison sipped her tea. “Why don’t you two go on without me? I think I’ll enjoy the morning with a good book.”
Collette wrapped her arm around Katherine’s and they headed out of the dining room. “You’ll love Cassidy.”
“I’m sure I will. And I apologize for my grandmother. She’s been a little on edge lately.” The woman hesitated. “How is your brother?”
“He’s resting. The doctor said it might take a few days for him to recover from all the smoke he inhaled, but I think he’s doing very well. He’ll probably come down for dinner this evening. Thomas comes to help him with his exercises every day and you can tell that Jean-Michel is getting . . . how do you say it . . . hmmm . . . antsy.”
Katherine laughed. “I can imagine. Please tell him that we’ve been praying for him.”
“I will. Merci.”
“Has he been having nightmares?”
“Oui. A lot more than before, but I guess that it is to be expected with the events of the fire. He was actually getting better. I think being away from home really helped him.” She watched Katherine’s face carefully and noted the worry there. “But the doctor says that he will heal and they will go away in time.” Again, she hadn’t told the whole truth. No need to worry Katherine further by telling her about Jean-Michel’s violence as she tried to calm him after his terrors. Hopefully, God would forgive her. Wasn’t she doing the right thing by her brother by helping him?
“Well, we will just have to help him recover from the memories, won’t we?” Katherine shot her a big smile.
Collette knew she liked this woman. She was perfect for Jean-Michel.
As they reached the Brennans’ quarters, Collette knocked on the door.
A muted “Come in . . .” floated through.
She opened the door and grabbed Katherine’s hand. Dragging her new friend into the room, she held out her other hand toward Cassidy. “Mrs. Brennan, this is Mrs. Demarchis.”
“It’s so nice to meet you, Mrs. Demarchis.” The expectant mother tried to sit up straighter. “My husband, Allan, has told me about you.”
Collette beamed at Katherine.
Katherine smiled. “It’s nice to meet you too. And please, call me Katherine.”
“I told her you were learning French, and Katherine also speaks it quite well, so she can help.”
“Goodness, that’s wonderful.” Cassidy leaned forward and rubbed the small of her back. “Collette, could you please grab me another pillow from the blanket box over there?”
“But of course.” Collette hurried to the box and retrieved the pillow. She helped Cassidy adjust it behind her back, then waited until she settled back. “Is it good?”
Cassidy sighed. “Yes, much better.” She turned back to Katherine. “I think I heard that your husband was a senator?”
“Yes.” Katherine’s face darkened a bit. “He died last year.” She paused and drew a deep breath. “So, how are you feeling? I can imagine it’s challenging to be bedridden during this time.”
The change of subject was a bit abrupt, but Collette assumed it was because of her loss. She understood that. She did. Father had only been gone a few months and she missed him terribly. The two older ladies chatted, and Collette brought over two chairs.
“So what brings you to my tiny part of the world?” Cassidy asked.
Clapping her hands together, Collette couldn’t contain her grin. “I thought we could keep you company a little each day and we could work on projects for your new home, or the bébé, or . . . anything. I can embroider quite well.”
Cassidy nodded. “Your company is kindness enough. Katherine, what do you like to do?”
Collette looked to Katherine. What did she like—besides Jean-Michel? For a moment Jean-Michel’s long-lost love looked blank. Her light brown hair was the color of rich honey in the sunlight, and her brown eyes were a delicious color of caramel. Collette thought her one of the most beautiful women she’d ever known, but at the moment she looked lost.
“I . . . I don’t know.” Katherine recovered and a smile was back in place. “What could we help you do?”
While Collette wanted to pry further, Cassidy obviously understood something else. She lifted a finger to her lips. “I’ve got some embroidery to finish on a few things. Collette, you mentioned being good at that.”
“Oui. What do you have?”
“Some gowns for the baby and some dish towels for the new cottage. After that, I was thinking I could teach Collette a thing or two about cooking, and then when she goes out on expeditions she could bring back more flowers we could press for bookmarks to sell at the hotel.”
Katherine’s eyes lit up. “I’ve always wanted to learn how to cook. Could you teach me as well?”
Out of the Ashes Page 18
