I remembered what Lina had told me more than a year ago. How she dreamed of showing up at her college reunion to flaunt her success but then she realized that wasn’t the most important thing.
It felt nice to show up with that hot, charming woman but that was it. It pleased me how little I cared.
What mattered was that the magic would continue long after we left the Christmas office party. The things we went through as a couple had also made our relationship special.
Right then, I could barely wait for the party to be over so I could get her home.
My new home. And who knew? Maybe some day it’d be ours.
“I’m surprised.”
I raised my eyebrow at her and ran a finger down her jaw.
“Everything surprises you, kitten. Can you be more specific?”
She untangled herself from my grasp and looked around while sipping from her glass.
“I kind of expected that an office party at an IT company would be some big basement with a bunch of bespectacled dudes chewing on pizza while playing video games.”
I snorted. If we hadn’t been in a public place, the snarky comment would have earned her a spanking. Instead, I just pulled her back into my embrace and squeezed her tight.
“Well, someone saw The Big Bang Theory.” I rolled my eyes. “Maybe that would happen if it was up to some of us. But our CEO is really good at throwing parties.”
“Is that this Lina lady you keep mentioning?” Kat asked me.
The question caught me off guard and I cleared my throat and tried to keep my expression neutral.
“Umm… I wasn’t aware I was mentioning her that often.” For the past few months, the anxieties had been sleeping quietly at the bottom of my mind. Now they reared their ugly heads. “But yeah, that’s the same woman. She hired me as her PA straight out of school and paid for my college education. I owe her all that I am.”
Speak of the devil.
Lina was heading our way with her confident walk and a bright smile. For a few seconds, I forgot where I was, who I was with. All that existed was that moment in which she was coming to me—graceful, seductive, a forbidden fruit so dangerously close and yet out of reach.
Her red hair flowed in waves down her back and she was wearing a black dress that made her pale skin glow as if made of marble. I felt I could catch her perfume and scent from all the way across the room. The click of her pumps echoed in my mind. For a brief moment, I thought I could feel her taste.
Why did she have to be so amazing? Why wasn’t my attraction to her fading?
The guilt of my feelings for Lina crashed over me, as heavy as concrete. I looked at Kat with a forced smile, acting as if nothing happened.
What the hell was wrong with me? My girlfriend and submissive was right by my side, beautiful and glowing, and what was I doing? Fantasizing about a woman I wouldn’t have a chance with in a million years.
Pull yourself together.
“Hello, Thomas. I’m so happy you could make it.” She stood before us and smiled politely at Kat.
Oh fuck.
The two most important women in my life were in the same room. A year ago I’d most likely have freaked out, frozen in place and stuttered something incoherent. Luckily, this time I responded with a perfect fake smile and reached out to squeeze her hand.
“You know I never miss the Christmas parties. Truly flawless, as usual.”
Kat was looking at me with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. Just then I realized I should have introduced them.
“Lina, please, meet Kat, my girlfriend. Kat, this is Lina Riley, the company’s CEO and my boss.”
Lina shook Kat’s hand with the same friendly smile. My girl responded with equal enthusiasm. She was looking at Lina with growing interest, studying her face and clothes. I got a mental image of them naked, kissing passionately under my command, Kat’s slender body pressed against Lina’s curves…
Oh, for fuck’s sake, snap out of it!
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Kat. I might be wrong but I think this is the first time Thomas has ever brought a date. I’m happy that his work hasn’t completely consumed him.” Did Lina look intrigued by Kat?
Oh, well, probably just my filthy imagination.
“I try not to let him work himself to death,” Kat added in her best purring voice and extended her hand for a shake. “Pleasure to meet you, too, Ms. Riley. Thomas told me so many great things about you.”
“Please, call me Lina. You probably hate me for overloading him with so many projects.” Lina laughed and took a sip from her own glass.
“It’s no problem for me.” Kat curled her arm around me and leaned her head on my shoulder. If it had been any other woman, I’d have said she was claiming her territory. Kat’s face had a too blissful expression so that was not the case. “I know how important Thomas’ job and studies are to him. He also needs someone to remind him there is life outside.”
Lina laughed and shook her head at me.
“Be careful not to lose this one, Thomas. She’s a keeper.” She paused and went on while spinning her champagne flute. “He’s lucky to have met you.”
“I think I’m the lucky one,” Kat said simply. “By the way, I love your dress.”
Lina and Kat spent the next few minutes talking about fashion. My boss even got some advice from my girlfriend. On the other hand, I tried my best to keep certain thoughts from my mind. Certain thoughts of both of them with no clothes on and wearing leather boots…
Finally, Lina excused herself.
“It was great meeting you both but I have to keep circulating. Enjoy the party. Thank you for coming, Kat. I hope to see you again.”
“Likewise, Lina. Thank you for having me.”
These women made it impossible not to slip into some filthy fantasies.
Kat whistled as Lina walked away from us, and nudged me.
“Wow, she’s really sweet. I didn’t expect someone like her would remember her employee’s names and even know so much about them.”
“Well, she’s pretty great. Besides, I told you, she invested a lot in me. It makes sense that she should know me a bit better.” My smile was way too forced so I hurried to change the subject. “Come on, Kat, I want you to meet some friends.”
A few hours later when we were leaving, I turned back and saw that Lina was one of the few left behind. She was leaning against the rails, her hair swaying in the wind. A small cloud of smoke surrounded her.
IX
Life is good, I thought to myself as Kat was setting up the ice bucket and tall flutes on my dining room table. Her long, wavy hair was running down her smooth blue silk dress. The light of the millions of candles she’d lit up earlier flickered across her gorgeous tresses and gave them a slight red nuance. This time, I knew her smile and natural glow were real. My gaze moved to the collar around her neck. It was nothing official, just a blue piece of leather with a small O-ring, studded with gemstones.
If years ago someone had told me I’d be spending the New Year’s Eve at my own house with my own beautiful, naughty submissive, I’d have thought they were just making fun of me. Looking at her still felt surreal. There was no point in questioning what was happening between us. It just felt so good.
One thing was sure—it’d be the most fun New Year’s Eve ever. Last December, money had been a little tight so we just had cheap wine and pizza for dinner, walked after midnight and came back to my place for wild sex until dawn. It was amazing in its own way but this year I wanted to make it special.
Later, I planned to push everything off the table, order her to strip for me and use all those candles on her body. I would be pouring them all over her while she was writhing and begging me not to stop. After that, she’d make me hard with mouth, and we’d spend the first few minutes of the New Year with her face pinned against the window and me thrusting inside her. I held her hands and whispered in her ear not to move.
What better way to enjoy the fireworks than fucking my beau
tiful, wax covered girlfriend?
Once the excitement of the first minutes faded away, we’d go down to the basement and christen my playroom. My first real dungeon.
Decorating it together with Allie and Kat had been a lot of fun but actually getting to use it would be out of this world.
It’d be a new beginning and I looked forward to all it had to offer me. For the first time in my life, the odds were stacked in my favor. The excitement was like a drug and I pulled Kat onto my lap to kiss her with an insatiable hunger. She laughed at first and tried to fight with me, crying out that I’d ruin her make up. I tugged her hair hard and Kat surrendered, letting me taste and devour her addictive lips.
She gasped when I spanked her through the thin fabric of the dress.
“That’s for being so cute, kitten.” I kept kissing her neck and traced its outline with my tongue. “I can’t get enough of you.”
Kat rolled her eyes and kissed me again. The sight of the beige lipstick smeared on her golden skin looked pretty hot even if I knew she disagreed with me.
“Do you know where Lina spends the holidays?” she asked with a casual, innocent voice when she got up from my lap and grabbed her make up bag.
That was the last question I’d expected to hear so I froze in horror. Could it be she thought…?
“Umm… How should I know? Knowing her, she’d probably be somewhere close to a beach or something.” I tried to sound confident but I had the nasty feeling I was stepping into a minefield. What was Kat up to? “Honestly, what made you think of her of all people? You guys talked for like five minutes.”
I took a sip of champagne. We’d agreed we’d not have more than two drinks tonight but I really needed mine right then.
“I thought you two were really close and you knew her better than her other employees.” That nonchalant voice of hers was killing me. She was leaning against the table, looking at herself in the hand mirror with a poker face.
“Yeah? Well, I told you, I used to be her personal assistant before she transferred me to the developer team. That doesn’t mean we discuss our holiday plans together,” I said in a tense voice and took another heavy gulp.
That conversation just cemented one of my resolutions. When Lina had proposed that she paid for my education, one of the conditions was that I’d work for the company for at least two years. As soon as that term expired, I’d resign. After the Christmas party, I realized it was pointless to deny the obvious. I cared for Kat. I loved her but that didn’t change the fact I was still crazy about Lina. I had no idea if it was love, infatuation, lust or just some sick obsession.
However, I knew one thing. It was powerful enough to taint my relationship.
Eventually, I’d have to fully let go of the hope she could be interested in me.
It was for the best.
“Was that when you fell in love with her?” Kat uttered that sentence in such a casual tone. Her carefree voice struck me like a lightning. I spat my champagne and choked on it. She came to me and patted my back with sympathy.
“Kat, what the hell are you talking about? I’m not in love with her. She’s my boss and… I’m with you, remember? I have no interest in other women.”
“Thomas.” She sighed and sat back on my lap. “All of that doesn’t mean you can’t be in love with her. You’ve never lied to me. Don’t start now. It’s okay. I’m not angry or anything.”
“How did you figure that out, Kat?” I stared at her with growing fear. “Just don’t tell me some stupid shit that I’m looking at her like I never look at you.”
“On the contrary.” She wrapped her arms around my neck. “You look at her exactly like you look at me when we’re in a scene. At the party, I felt your intensity, how your body went rigid and a little hotter the moment she approached us. Your voice got deeper and I could feel the longing. I’m also sure you feel like you’re cheating on me.”
Her tender fingers were moving through my hair.
“I never thought you’d be so observant.” My face felt hot with shame.
“I might not be the best-organized person but I’m not stupid, Thomas.” She chuckled. “Besides, I’m an artist. I notice details other people don’t pay attention to. We’ve been together for over a year so I think I know you well.”
“Kat...” I had no idea what to say to her. She’d cornered me and left me no choice but to be perfectly honest with her. “I’m sorry, really. It started way before I met you. As soon as it’s possible, I’ll quit that job, and—”
“Nonsense.” She leaned forward to kiss me tenderly. “I told you, I’m not angry. We don’t choose who we fall in love with. I know you love working there and you shouldn’t quit just because you think it’s the right thing to do. Listen...”
I wrapped my arms around her. Just a few seconds ago I had been confident in my future and plans. How did it start crumbling out of the blue?
“Meeting her and seeing you together made me realize something. There is no easy way to say it.” Kat bit her lips and looked pensive for a moment before she said, “I don’t want you to think I don’t appreciate you, Thomas. I really love and care for you. I’d probably be dead if it weren’t for you. You were the first Dom who truly got in my mind and made me feel things out of this world.
“I know guys usually take it the wrong way when girls say it but… you’re also my best friend. Dating you helped me answer so many questions I had for myself.”
“Oh?” I raised my eyebrow. “I’m still waiting for the ‘but’ in your speech.”
“Thomas, we met at a time when we both needed each other. We needed to explore ourselves, to push our boundaries and to learn what we wanted. And now, I feel like we’re at a point where we’ve done all we can together. It’s time we find people who suit us better.”
“What… you mean...?”
“I’m not breaking up with you. I mean, yes, technically. There is no reason why this should be an abrupt end. We can still meet, play, talk, but it’s time to start thinking in the right direction.”
“I’m not sure I get it.” All I knew was that I felt rejected just when I was at my highest point.
“When you were in full control of my life, doing my schedule for me, making all the decisions, taking care of everything, I… I never felt so happy.” She blushed. “Perhaps it’s wrong and even shameful to say it out loud but I loved having all the responsibility taken from me. That way I could dedicate myself to feeling, creating… You know, I actually drew some of my best designs during those two months.”
“Everything you draw is beautiful so I can’t really be sure.” I reached out to caress her face with sadness. Her words started making sense to me even if that didn’t make them easier to handle.
“I… I think this is what I want. It was the first time in my life when I felt so at peace. But I know it wasn’t the happiest time for you, was it?”
I swallowed.
“It was difficult. I can’t say I didn’t take a certain pleasure in it but it was draining at times. I was doing it because I knew you needed it. Still, if you weren’t struggling with yourself I don’t think I’d ever offer such a power exchange.”
Kat smiled back and kissed me softly.
“I love you and you’ll always be really important and special to me. But it would be wrong for me to try to manipulate you into doing what I need. It’d stop you from being happier with another person more suitable to you. You need someone different.”
“I don’t know. I mean, I feel happy with you, too. I care for you, Kat.” I stared into her beautiful eyes, wondering why we couldn’t just be happy with what we had. “No matter what we decide tonight, I’ll always be grateful I could be with you, that you let me into your world. I even thought of asking you to move in with me for good...”
“Trust me, a few months ago I’d have jumped at the opportunity and said yes,” she said simply. “Now I finally know what I want and need. It’s not that you can’t give it to me, Thomas. You showed that you
can, but I don’t want you to sacrifice yourself for me. I love you, too.”
“But you are not really in love with me.”
She nodded. That was when it dawned on me. That was the reason I was still clinging on to Lina’s image.
“God…” I whispered. “I never thought this year would end in such a way.”
“Why should we think it’s a tragic ending?” Kat smiled again. “Think of it as a celebration of what has been a fantastic year. Let’s celebrate the hell out of it and move on to an even more amazing new year.”
I didn’t say anything, just reached out to kiss her lips and savor the moment, all the sweetness, all the bitterness, everything I got to feel because of her. No matter what happened, Kat had left her mark on my life and she’d always be a part of me.
That strange feeling, equal parts hope and aching gratitude and regret gripped me by the throat. I kept kissing her until we both had a hard time breathing.
“I’ll miss you,” I uttered, choked to tears.
“I’m not going anywhere, Thomas.” She caressed my cheeks and nibbled my lips again. “You can always call if you want to talk or hang out. Or if you need to blow off some steam and whip me. Let’s not think of that tonight. Let’s just enjoy our last New Year as a couple and make it special.”
Kat inclined her head and whispered with a mischievous smirk, “Don’t sell yourself short. I think you have a better chance to be with her than you realize.”
“Kitten, I’m afraid you’ve had way too much to drink.” I laughed and removed the champagne flutes. “Lina Riley would never give me a second glance. Trying my luck at a vanilla relationship would be a stretch.” I rolled my eyes. “If I suggested, even as a joke, that we tried D/s, she’d probably go medieval on my ass.”
“Thomas, like I said, don’t sell yourself short. You might be a better fit for her than she realizes.” When I raised my eyebrow, she shrugged. “I often talk to the other pro-Doms at the agency. Their most frequent clients are people exactly like your boss—high flying executives, in a position of power, who need to be dominated in their free time. You know what?”
Unorthodox Dom: (New Adult BDSM Romance) (The Unorthodox Trilogy) Page 9
