“What about your car?” I whisper.
The driver pops the trunk and Jonathan hands him our bags, rattling off Paul’s address. Then he joins me in the backseat. “I’ll send someone for the Mini later. I’d rather do this.”
Jonathan’s lips cover mine. More urgently than last time. As if he may not get the chance to kiss me again.
“Wait, I can’t think when you’re making me dizzy.” I push him back.
“That’s the idea,” Jonathan growls, shoving his face in the nape of my neck and nibbling.
“Stop. I’m serious. Jonathan!” I squirm.
The cab veers out onto the highway.
Jonathan sits straight up, his head cocked to the side, as though taking notice of something important. “I like it when you say my name.”
“Jonathan,” I say again.
A long time passes. We leave Shrewsbury behind us. I gaze at Jonathan, he looks at me, and it’s enough. Just a look that says, “I found you.” And in that one glance I find everything I didn’t know I’d been searching for. A new purpose.
And in that exact moment I know flying around out there somewhere—invisible to the Unbonded—Irkalla is flashing a rainbow of my emotions. And I have a feeling Mayet looks the same.
I smile so hugely it hurts my cheeks. Jonathan smiles back with a sigh as I rest my head against his arm and close my eyes.
What feels like mere seconds later I wake to the wailing cry of a siren. “Jonathan.” I nudge. Jonathan’s eyes open wide as the sirens grow nearer. I spin around, fully expecting to see a pack of police cars behind us, but the road is empty.
“There!” Jonathan points out the windshield.
From the highway, smack in the middle of Paul’s housing development black smoke billows through a glowing orange backdrop.
“Looks like a house fire,” the cabbie says daftly.
My stomach twists into knots. Right away, I know it has to be Paul’s. I know who’s done it and why. “Oh, my god. This is all my fault.”
“How could this be your fault?” Jonathan hisses, tapping the driver. “Drop us up there.”
The driver takes the bundle of bills, tucking it in his shirtfront pocket as he pulls along the curb. I follow Jonathan. The outside is gloomy and dark, heavy with black smoke. The fire smells different from a campfire or barbecue, there’s something much more sinister about someone’s possessions going up in flames.
Jonathan pats the roof the cab and our ride drives away.
“What are you doing? Our bags are in the trunk. We have no car.” I choke, drawing my fresh cardigan over my mouth.
Jonathan tucks his nose under the collar of his t-shirt, dismissing my concern with the wave of a hand. “He’s just getting his Shrewsbury cab out of sight. I don’t want everyone to know we’re back.”
Something about Jonathan’s tone makes me realize just how dumb I’ve been acting. I thought by abandoning my SEEK training that I was somehow paying back my enemies. I didn’t want to be their weapon anymore. Now I realize how stupid that sounds. I almost died once already tonight.
I’ve had SEEK training. I know how to survive under the worst of circumstances.
I set my jaw and turn toward the fire. “Come on.”
Jonathan raises his eyebrows, following obediently. Ahead, a family dressed in pajamas, are moving in the direction of the fire. I pick up the pace and we fall in behind them.
“It’s Paul’s,” I say. “It has to be.”
“You think?” Jonathan sputters, eyes growing wide as he stretches up to his toes for a glimpse over the trees. “No. Can’t be.”
My fears are confirmed. We round the corner to Paul’s behind the family, their three young girls shuffling along in slippers, pigtails swinging. The line of fire trucks and emergency vehicles begin at the end of the hostel’s driveway.
“Damn!” Jonathan grits his teeth.
“Act natural.”
Jonathan nods, brow creased anxiously.
I take Jonathan’s hand, steering him into the crowd gathered behind the police barricade. “Can you see anything?”
Jonathan shakes his head. We dart between a large woman in a fuzzy purple bathrobe and a man wearing his boxers with a jacket and rain boots. We search every sleepy onlooker for a familiar face. Three gangly guys in sweatpants and rugby jerseys stand shoulder-to-shoulder. “How about them?”
Jonathan considers the trio. “I don’t think so. They don’t look familiar.”
“We have to get closer.” I side step to the right, dragging Jonathan along. Toward the trees, spotting a break in the trucks. “Run for it!”
“Keira!”
I hear my name through the sirens like a dog hears a whistle and reel around, expecting a black leather jacket or blue ball cap. Instead, I find Tuck’s familiar red Mohawk.
“Tuck,” I breathe, dragging Jonathan into a three-way hug.
Tuck smashes us together in a desperate embrace, reeking of smoke. I only indulge for a moment and then shove him back for a better look. His face is covered in soot and streaked with tears. “Why are you crying? Are you hurt?”
Tuck sniffles, shaking his head.
“What happened?” Jonathan asks monotone.
“I don’t know! One minute we were all sleeping and the next there was choking and screaming. God, the effing smoke! I couldn’t see anything.” Tuck smears a hand across his face, kicking the ground.
“Where’s everyone else?” Jonathan presses, gently patting Tuck’s back.
“Paul took them away before the fire trucks got here, except…” Tuck’s whole body shutters with silent sobs.
“Except what?” I pry, coaxing Tuck’s face toward mine.
“Except—not—she wasn’t in her room!” Tuck wails, jerking his chin away. Tortured.
“Who? Who’s in there?” My hands tremble against Tuck’s shuttering shoulders.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Rose Marie.” Tuck buries his face in his hands, dissolving to tears. “She’s dead!”
Jonathan gasps, pulling Tuck into his chest and rocking him like a child. Tuck bawls, grabbing Jonathan, dragging on his jacket.
My vision spins with the red lights whirling around on the cop car. Rose’s face fills my mind. A ray of sunshine bursting with hopes and dreams. Gone. I let the tears come freely.
Anger follows.
Rage and injustice burn like acid in my veins.
SEEK did this. SEEK did this as a warning to me. Punishment for running, for disobeying orders, and for going out on my own. I picture Harnel giving the order to finish my friends if I won’t come peacefully. SEEK wants me. And they won’t stop until they get me.
This was all part of their plan. To make me wonder what was happening to Lindy—that’s why her surgery was moved up to today. They’d found me. They knew I was on the move and they had to stop me.
They nearly succeeded.
Like an angry robot, my SEEK training kicks on in high gear. I wipe the tears off my cheeks. Blinking, I survey the scene through renewed eyes. The county police and some sort of English specialist unit are huddled over the hood of a fire aid car. I’m positive at least one of the men is with the counterterrorism department because SEEK doesn’t do anything in a small way. This is probably unlike any other arson case this small suburb has ever seen.
As I’m watching, three men in black approach one of the officers, passing around their credentials. The cop waves them through. The man in front carries a manila envelope, which he hands to the men at the car. They all lean over the papers.
Then I see it. The three men in black are the only ones without a logo identifying who they work for.
“Damn it! We have to go!” I clamp onto Jonathan and Tuck.
“Wait,” Tuck yanks away, wrapping his arms over his stomach.
“Look! SEEK.” I snarl, spinning on a heel and weaving through the crowd.
“But Rose—” Tuck says morosely.
I whirl back. Tuck’s hands are balled into
fists, ready for a fight. “See that? SEEK isn’t here to play tag, Tuck. They’ll have no problem killing all of us if they catch us. Now, let’s go!”
Tuck’s worried brows knit together as he shoots a sorrowful look at the billowing clouds of ash rising into the sky. But only for a second, then he shoves his shoulder resentfully into mine and stomps after Jonathan. I hear him grumbling under his breath. But I let it go. He’s entitled to be pissed.
I am. And I know better than anyone that his anger is going to come in handy later.
I get past the three boys in rugby shirts, when my heart skips a beat.
The third man in black takes off his hat.
A bald head appears.
All In
Thomas Corduroy.
It was my job to recognize that head in the worst of conditions. And seeing him here, a few hundred yards away in the dark and smoke, is no different. For a brief second my heart rejoices. Cord is alive. But at once everything else makes sense. Cord knows me as well as I know him. That’s why he’s been promoted to Ops. Cord is the one person at SEEK who knows how I think. The one person who could pick me out of a crowd.
My skin crawls like I’m suddenly being watched from every angle.
Slowly, without drawing any more attention to myself, I slide my cardigan up over my hair. Then I shrug my shoulders up, slouching at the waist, and change everything about my appearance.
I slip away.
“Agent Corduroy is here,” I growl to Jonathan. My hands shoved tightly in my pockets to hold myself together. I don’t want to do something stupid. Something I would’ve done a few weeks ago, like parading right up to Cord and demanding to know if he set the fire. I’d know from the look in his blue eyes if he was lying. He could never hide the truth from me.
If Cord is responsible…if he’s killed Rose…I don’t know what I’ll do to him, but I’ll make sure he suffers.
“Your old partner Cord? The one I…” Jonathan’s eyes grow huge. He throws a nervous glance over his shoulder, quickening his step.
“Yep.” I nod, my eyes straight ahead.
A long sigh of recognition lights Jonathan’s face as he works out the riddle. “Cord’s not here to persuade you and bring you in, even though that’s what SEEK has told him to do. He’s here for revenge.”
“Exactly. And I know Cord. He won’t stop until he gets it done. Once he’s mad, he’s mad!” I’m mad myself. Mad that I left the Fifth Column house unprotected. Maybe I could’ve stopped Cord from setting the fire if I hadn’t been such a coward. If I would’ve just committed to the Fifth Column Rose might still be alive.
But mostly I’m mad I let her down. Rose was my friend.
“Cord is your friend,” the voice says in my head.
“Cord was my friend. We’re definitely not friends anymore,” I answer back, hands clenched into fists.
“I think you better make that call, Tuck. Paul deserves to know what’s happened to his cousin,” Jonathan suggests.
“But—they haven’t found a body,” Tuck pleads, sounding very young.
“And they never will,” I mutter under my breath.
Jonathan shoots me a questioning look.
I shake my head and look at the ground. “I’m just being realistic. SEEK is here. They won’t leave any evidence.”
“Sorry, man, but it’s time to face it.” Jonathan’s voice quivers as he reaches for my hand.
“We all loved Rose, Tuck,” I offer. But there are no words that can console any of us as we scurry away from the scene.
Rose is gone. The Fifth Column is homeless. And SEEK is hunting us, just like they do anything that stands between them and their initiative. What could anyone say that would make any of this okay?
We walk in somber silence until we find our cab parked in the driveway of a vacant house. I’m glad it’s still here. The cabbie’s asleep in the front seat, but the engine’s running and the headlights are off.
Small favors.
Tuck runs his hands over her head, his Mohawk bouncing back like hairbrush bristles. He grumbles something intangible and yanks the burner phone from his pocket. His frustration shows in every exaggerated step as he paces back and forth, waiting for Paul to answer.
Jonathan opens the backdoor to the cab. “Let’s give him a minute. He loved Rose.”
I duck into the warm cab. The driver stirs.
Jonathan curls his arms protectively around me. “Give us a minute,” he tells the cabbie.
“Tuck and Rose? I didn’t know. She never said anything.” I chew my lip. Why would she tell me if I never asked? What else didn’t I know about her? She deserved a better friend than me.
“I don’t think she knew. Tuck was working up the courage to ask her out,” Jonathan says, peppering my cheek with little kisses. As if he can kiss away my grief.
The real travesty of losing Rose isn’t just about those of us left to mourn her, but the fact that she didn’t even know how much we loved her. And now she never will. She’ll never know the love she should’ve. It isn’t fair that I have Jonathan comforting me. Kissing me. While Rose is gone.
In one final moment of clarity, I watch Tuck through the window. His expression is rife with anguish as he explains to Paul what’s happened to Rose. My world tilts sideways. All at once the pieces fall into place. The answer’s so simple. It’s been echoing in my head the whole time.
I didn’t know what was missing, until it was found.
That day, sitting at the top of the waterfall, watching the man I’d been sent to kill fishing as though he had nothing to fear.
Lindy wasn’t the only reason I’d been hunting. I’d joined SEEK for me. I’d been searching for the place I belonged. Being forgotten by my parents had hurt me more deeply than I’d been ready to admit. I was trying to gain back their love—the only love I’d known up to that point. I thought I could achieve that by fixing my sister.
But I’m no longer a child. I can never go home. My parents can’t fill this void.
The love I’m seeking is the one love I know exists solely for me. I turn to Jonathan, our eyes meeting as if he knows what’s happening. It’s him. It’s always been him. The love I’m willing to die for is sitting right here, asking me to stay. Asking me to be part of something real. Part of him.
I grab the door handle and leap out of the taxi.
“Hey!” Jonathan says, clambering after me.
“Let me talk to Paul. Just one second. Sorry.” I lift the phone from Tuck’s hand.
Tuck’s eyes, red and glassy, lose another tear. He turns away with a shrug.
Jonathan’s beside me, watching me intently.
I take a deep steadying breath and rest the phone against my ear. “Paul, this is Keira. You know that question you’ve been waiting for me to answer?”
Paul sniffs. “Keira? Are you finally ready to join?”
One last look at Jonathan and I know I’m right where I should be. “I’m in.”
In every lifetime there is one day that is a test.
It is a test to determine who you will compete against in times of trial.
Today is that day.
Today, we all have a choice.
And I’ve made mine.
Search (SEEK Book 1) Page 20
