“I’ve thought about it most of my life and I can’t make any sense of it. If there’s anything I can take from my childhood, it would be to do the exact opposite with my children than the way I was brought up. My children will never have to wonder if I love them.”
Rachel felt heat rise in her cheeks. “Abby says the same thing sometimes. I wonder if it’s because her biological father abandoned her. She doesn’t talk about it much, but when I was younger, I would hear her praying about it.”
Levi kicked at the water, his legs swinging over the edge of the dock. “I can’t imagine not wanting to watch my child grow up. What kind of a person abandons their own child?”
“Sometimes it’s what is best for the child. My onkel and aenti adopted a little girl because the birth mother couldn’t raise her on her own. I think, in that case, she did a very gut thing for her daughter. But then there are times when a parent acts selfishly, as in my schweschder’s case, and maybe yours too. But even though Abby’s daed was selfish for leaving her, it was still what was best for her. Do you think that could be the case for you too?”
Levi sighed, swallowing the lump in his throat.
“I honestly think I would have been better off if they both would have abandoned me. Neither of them was prepared to be the kind of parent a child needs.”
“Is your daed harsh with you?” Rachel wasn’t sure if she should pry, but it seemed Levi wanted to confide in her. She admired his openness and honesty about his life, and she felt honored that he would trust her with his most private thoughts.
Levi wasn’t sure if he should open that can of worms or not. He wanted to tell her everything about his life—to tell her the truth about why he was here, but something still held him back. Was it fear? If he had to be honest with himself, he would say he feared rejection from her. The Amish had been the only people to ever love and care for him the way he needed. Now, Rachel was one of the few really good relationships in his life, and he didn’t want to risk losing her.
“He has always been harsh for as long as I can remember. He hasn’t been a good example, or even a good person.”
Rachel allowed herself to snuggle closer to Levi, and he put his arm around her.
“I’m sorry you have to live with that. But you will be old enough to be on your own soon. Have you given any thought to what your future holds?”
He gave her shoulder a squeeze. “I do every day.”
Chapter 22
Levi couldn’t concentrate on poor Lulu’s milking. He’d almost told Rachel the truth about himself the night before. What a relief that would have been. But he also knew that now was not the time to reveal his true identity. He needed to keep it a secret just a little longer until he could go to Bruce at the end of the week and tell him he was out of the deal he’d made with him. Rachel had encouraged him to separate himself from his dad and to stand on his own. He would be eighteen soon, and that meant he needed to stand up for himself and become a man—the man he wanted to be instead of the man Bruce had taught him to be.
Levi patted the Holstein cow on her side, apologizing for being so distracted. She wagged her tail and nodded at him as if to accept. Things were so much simpler here. Telling Bruce he no longer intended to hand over his pay was not going to be easy. But he had to stand up to the man once and for all—to stand up for what was right.
Levi decided that if he had any chance at making it on his own, he would need the pay he would earn through the harvest to start his own life away from Bruce. He was grateful that his job came with room and board along with a generous wage. He’d done the math, and at the end of the harvest, he would have enough to get himself a small apartment in town. Then he could get another job and maybe think about going back to school. He would love to be like the Amish and live off the land, but he wasn’t in any position to acquire any land at this time. Levi had made up his mind that if Bruce ever got his hands on the stolen money, he wanted no part of it. Even if it meant he would struggle, he would earn his money honestly.
Levi exited the barn with a pail of milk for the house. Nettie was already hanging wash on the line, and from the look of the horizon, she probably wouldn’t get much done before it rained. Levi said a quick prayer for the community that it would be a slow-moving storm so the women would get their wash hung and dried first.
“Levi,” Nettie called to him. “Would you mind going into town when you finish the morning chores? Hiram has a list of things that need to be bought from the hardware store, and I could use a few kitchen staples from the grocery store.”
“Jah, I’ll be happy to.”
Nettie picked up the laundry basket and followed him inside the house. “Will you drop off these dishes to Rachel at the bakery on your way out? She left them here after the meal yesterday, and she’ll probably need them.”
Levi nodded, trying not to seem too eager for the opportunity to see Rachel again so soon.
****
Levi steered the open buggy into the parking area behind the bakery. Rachel opened the back door and pushed a pile of dirt out the door with a homemade corn broom. She waved to him and smiled as thunder rumbled from a distance. Levi hoped he could get his errands finished before it rained—especially since he had taken the open buggy to save time. It was smaller and easier for the mare to pull. Not to mention easier for Levi to maneuver. His driving skills were improving, but he preferred the smaller buggy.
Levi stepped out of the buggy and gathered the dishes in his hands. He walked toward the back door that Rachel had left open for him. He found her standing at the sink filling a mop bucket with soapy water. She looked so beautiful—even with a dark blue scarf on her head. She wore an old, brown work dress, and her cheeks were a little pink from the heat. But Levi even found the light mist of sweat on her brow to be cute. She turned off the water and went to lift the over-sized bucket from the sink.
Levi rushed up beside her. “Let me get that for you.”
Rachel took the dishes from him and stood back, watching with amusement showing on her up-turned lips as Levi struggled with the large pail of water. “Do you usually use this much water to mop the floors?”
He set the bucket down with a small splash.
“Nee. I have to mop both the front of the bakery and the kitchen. I thought it might be easier if I filled the bucket to the top rather than filling it twice. I don’t like having to change the water.”
Levi stood up straight, and then leaned back with a hand at the small of his back to stretch it. “I don’t think you should try that on your own. That ten-gallon pail is very heavy when it’s full.”
Rachel giggled. “Why do you think I let you lift it out of the sink? The last time I tried that on my own, it sloshed all over the kitchen floor and it took me over an hour to mop it all up.”
Levi put a hand to his chin. “I would have used that broom to push all the water out the back door.”
Rachel narrowed her eyes. “You think you’re so smart, don’t you?”
“Mmm-hmm.” Levi couldn’t help but let out a hardy laugh.
“Are you going to stand there and laugh at me, or are you going to help me as long as you’re here?”
Levi held his hand in front of his mouth to hide the snicker that threatened to escape. She looked so adorable with her hands on her hips, trying to act tough.
“I can for a few minutes, but then I’ll have to go. I need to go into town to pick up a few things before it rains.”
Rachel’s eyes lit up. “Do you mind if I tag along? I’m out of a few spices and I need fifty pounds of sugar.”
“I brought the open buggy. What if it rains? All your sugar will melt.”
“I have a plastic tub with a lid we can take to carry it in.”
Levi nodded toward the mop bucket. “Is this something you can do when we get back, or can you mop quickly?”
Rachel grabbed the mop. “I can make faster work of it if you’ll move the tables and chairs up front.”
Levi moved
to the front of the bakery and did what Rachel needed. He thought he would probably do almost anything for her.
Chapter 23
Bruce Monroe stood outside his motel room leaning against the doorway smoking a cigarette. He looked up the road at the sound of horses hooves against the wet pavement. Laughter filled the stagnant air that hung thick with humidity from the short-lived down-pour. The rain hadn’t lasted more than a minute, but that had been long enough to irritate Bruce. The sound of the rain pelting the tin roof of the motel had sufficiently disturbed his sleep so that he couldn’t return to the dream he’d been having. Too bad his dream of finding the million dollars had only been a dream. It was enough to put him in the sourest of moods.
Bruce wiped the sleep from his eyes, trying to focus on the young Amish couple running into the hardware store down the road. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say that Amish boy was his son. He’d been holding hands with the girl as they ran into the store. Flicking the cigarette onto the pavement, Bruce snuffed it out with his shoe and took off toward the hardware store to see for himself.
As he neared the hardware store, he tried to think of an excuse to enter the store. Luckily, he didn’t need one. The couple ran out of the store laughing and holding hands. It was his son alright.
So my boy has found himself a girl. That might come in handy later. If he decides to back out of our little arrangement, I’ll threaten to tell the girl everything.
Bruce ducked into the doorway of the business next to the hardware store so he wouldn’t be seen. Not that his boy was paying any attention to anything other than his girl. Bruce watched his son pull the buggy away from the building and head in the opposite direction. He wondered where they were going next, but it didn’t matter. It was obvious to him that he’d forgotten all about the deal they’d made.
I might just have to give him a reminder when I see him on Saturday. I’m not waiting around anymore while he plays house with that girl.
****
Rachel opened the umbrella and held it over the top of her and Levi as they left the outskirts of town. What started off as a little bit of drizzle had turned into heavy downpour. Levi didn’t want to push the horse to go faster on the slippery shoulder of the main road.
“Maybe taking the open buggy wasn’t the best idea I’ve had.” Levi apologized.
Rachel giggled, causing the umbrella to fall away from their heads briefly. “Where is your sense of adventure, Levi Schrock?”
Hearing the name from her lips sounded wonderful. If only there was a way to make it his true identity. Being here with her in the rain was like a dream come true. If only it could last.
“I think I left my sense of humor back at the hardware store. Should we go back and get it?”
Rachel laughed even harder. Levi joined her. He hadn’t played in the rain since he was a child, but he had to admit it was more fun with Rachel. He pulled the buggy over into the abandoned schoolyard. He steered the horse toward a set of trees hoping to give the mare a little rest from the heavy rain.
“We don’t have much further to go, are you sure you want to stop?”
Levi turned to her and took her hand, leading her out of the buggy. “I want to play in the rain. You can stay under the umbrella where it’s safe if you want to, but I’m going to get soaked.”
Rachel tossed the open umbrella into the back of the buggy over the plastic tub full of sugar and joined Levi out in the open field. She twirled with her arms outstretched and her face pointed toward the heavens. Levi stopped to watch her. If it was possible, she was even more beautiful with her hair soaked and sticking to the side of her face. Her kapp had come loose from her head and hung down her back by the small bow that was tied at the end of the ribbons. She pulled the pins loose and shook her head from side to side until her long hair flopped against her cheeks with a wet slap.
Rachel stopped suddenly and faced Levi. “Why are you staring at me?”
Levi closed the space between them, raindrops forcing him to blink frequently. “Because you’re beautiful.”
Rachel blinked away raindrops and smiled. Levi pulled her into his arms and pressed his lips to hers. She responded with a quiet moan as he deepened the kiss. With his free hand he ran his fingers through her wet hair, holding her head in place as he continued to kiss her. Rachel folded her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her. Her breathing was heavy, and she felt light-headed. It was exhilarating. If she wasn’t already falling in love with him, she certainly was now.
Levi couldn’t believe his luck. Not only was he holding and kissing the girl he had learned to love, she was kissing him back. Was it possible she loved him too? Or was he only dreaming?
Chapter 24
Levi lurched forward in his bed, his arms tangled in the freshly laundered linens. His heart raced as he forced himself away from the pull that the nightmare had on him. Rachel had ridiculed him in the dream, telling him she never wanted to see him again. She’d called him a liar.
Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Levi looked out his window at the moon that still hung high in the sky. He couldn’t have been asleep very long.
What was I thinking, kissing Rachel this afternoon? She is going to hate me when she finds out I’ve lied to her. And Hiram will surely fire me!
Levi pressed his weary head back against his pillow. He faced the window, looking out at the moon and wondering how he was going to break the news to Rachel. He would certainly have to wait until after his visit with Bruce on Saturday. He needed closure with his dad before he could move forward with the life he intended for himself. A life that would be free from lies and petty crimes.
Levi sighed, wondering if his life could ever be that simple. He had a feeling Bruce wouldn’t let him go without a fight. The man needed him to steal for him or get odd jobs to support him. But maybe if Bruce had the million dollars he would leave him alone forever. He could only hope.
The trouble was, how could he get his hands on a map that might not exist? Did he dare press Abby further for more information? Or worse; did he have the guts to ramshackle thru her house when she wasn’t home? No, he could never do anything that disrespectful to his own family.
Stealing small things here and there, or pick-pocketing was a lot different from breaking into someone’s house. Not only was the risk greater, he was determined to put his stealing days behind him. He’d spent many hours praying over the last few weeks, asking forgiveness for past crimes and begging God for a way to put an end to any future crimes his earthly father would expect him to commit. If he was to truly change, he had to turn his back on anything and anyone who would threaten his redemption—and that meant his own father.
Levi was afraid to be on his own. Especially if he lost his job with the Miller’s.
Lord, I don’t have a high school diploma or even any money to go out on my own. Bless me with the tools to change my life even without those things. Please soften Hiram’s heart for me and keep him from firing me. Bless my relationship with Rachel to honor you in every way. I love her, and I don’t want to lose her. Give me the courage to tell her and Hiram the truth about who I am. Give them understanding hearts for me, Lord. Heal Hiram and make him strong again. Bless him with long life.
Levi closed his eyes intending to continue his prayer, but he fell back asleep. When he woke again, it was morning. He could hear the rooster crowing out near the barn. Levi’s stomach growled, telling him he was just as hungry as that rooster must be. He pushed his aching body from the bed and stretched for a minute. He could smell coffee, which meant Nettie had been up for a while already. He had tried to rise before her nearly every day since he’d arrived, but it seemed she awoke earlier each morning. He dressed quickly so he could get to the milking before Nettie or Hiram went out there after tiring of waiting for him. The sun was barely up, but he’d already learned that the day began when the farm was ready—not when the farmer decided.
As he trailed down the stairs, the smell of cooking b
acon made his mouth water. He knew he had at least thirty minutes worth of chores to do before he could get any breakfast. He would get the milk for the house first before he did anything to ensure Hiram would have some fresh milk when he sat down to eat with Nettie. They had been so good to him, and he would miss them when he had to leave, which might be sooner than he’d originally anticipated if he went through with his plan to tell the truth at the close of the week.
“Gudemariye, Levi. Would you like some kaffi to take with you before you head out to the barn?”
“Danki,” he said as he took the steaming mug from her hands. “I’ll be back with the milk before Hiram comes down for breakfast.”
Nettie smiled and nodded as she went back to stirring a large iron skillet full of eggs.
Levi left the kitchen before his hunger made him forget his manners. He was tempted to snitch a piece of bacon off the plate, but he forced himself out the door into the humid morning air.
His walk to the barn was filled with the sound of birds chirping and flitting about the trees. Nettie had put out some fresh bird seed in the feeder, and the rain had filled the bird bath with fresh water for their morning routine. He would have loved to spend a few minutes watching them, but he had a job to do. His strong back was the only thing he had going for him for the time-being, and he wasn’t about to waste time on bird-watching. If he wanted a chance to keep his job after he told Hiram the truth, he would have to prove to the man that his services were indispensable. Hopefully, his hard work would speak for itself when the time came.
Chapter 25
Rachel woke with a stiff neck, most likely from playing in the rain. Mamm had always told her to keep dry and warm or she would catch a cold. She felt awful and she ached all over. But she felt her time with Levi was worth every ache. Perhaps some of Mamm’s herb tea would help ease her muscles back into shape. She hadn’t slept well, but most of that was because of the giddiness that filled her from head to toe. She’d decided hours ago that she was definitely in lieb with Levi. When she entered the large kitchen, her mamm was busy at the stove making a fresh pot of kaffi. Rachel cleared her throat and corralled her emotions so as not to give away her feelings to her mamm’s watchful eye.
Amish Summer of Courage: Book Six Page 7
