by Zen DiPietro
“Thank you for waiting for me,” she murmured. “I know I didn’t make it easy.”
He slipped his arms around her, snuggling her close. “You weren’t ready, and that was fine. It was easy to wait until you were.”
“You never had any doubts?”
“About you? Never. The moment I saw your face, I knew I was in this for life. Then I saw all the blood and that hole going through you and I wondered if that wouldn’t be very long after all. And it would have been my fault, since you took that crossbow bolt for me.”
“Which shocked you more? My saving you, or my being a woman?”
“You were a shiv so I wasn’t shocked that you were valiant and self-sacrificing. And when I saw that you were a woman I was momentarily stunned, since you’d obscured your . . . uhm . . . femininity. But it immediately made so much sense. So I don’t think anything about you shocked me.”
“Other than our soulbond, and that time I unleashed my mana. Ignoring all that, yep, I was an open book.”
He chuckled. She loved his laugh. “Okay, there have been a couple surprises. But I wouldn’t change it. You turned out to be a great manahi. And you’re getting better at the girlfriend thing, too.”
“Well, that’s a relief. You know, I think I’m getting cold, after all. Maybe we should move to the tent.”
He searched her expression for hidden meaning but found none. “Sure.” He stood and helped her up to her feet, then stepped out of the blanket and secured it around her so she’d stay warm. Just before she ducked into the tent ahead of him, she paused to study their campsite.
“You know,” she observed, “next time we come up here there will probably be a monorail line in place. We won’t have to drive a cart for days or camp out.”
He leaned in, almost close enough to kiss her. He stood with his lips a breath away from hers, letting the moment stretch. “Then maybe we should slow down and take a few extra days to get there.”
The former Shiv Justice Kassimeigh ducked into the tent with a giggle.
Two days later than planned, Arc and Kassimeigh arrived at the Guard headquarters in Apex. The fortress and its grounds provided a welcome burst of color and activity against the dull and drab backdrop of Apex. An oasis of warmer temperature and greenery, it stood out against the frigid, lifeless surroundings.
The last time Kassimeigh had been here, she’d tied an abundance of mana to the land, allowing it to bloom with trees and plants uncharacteristic of Apex. She felt the thrum of power standing out against the rest of Apex, which offered relatively little mana. The fortress was further transformed by the bustle of activity that now encircled it.
The Guard’s general himself greeted them upon their arrival. “It’s great to see you both.” He shook hands with Arc, then turned to her.
“Will.” Kassimeigh let her affection for him bleed into the warmth of her voice. She ignored the hand that he’d begun to extend and stepped in close for a hug. With a surprised laugh, he wrapped his arms around her. Because she was nearly six feet tall herself, she compared favorably to his height, coming up only a few inches short.
She loosened her hold on him and stepped back. “You’re one of the few guys I know who can actually make me feel dainty.” Arc put his arm around her waist, and by contrast, he matched her almost exactly. Though also very fit, Arc’s build was leaner and sleeker than Will’s. The general’s broad shoulders and bulky muscularity made him stand out in any crowd.
Will’s dark eyes conveyed how glad he was to see them. With his golden-brown complexion and black hair that had grown out from the short cut she’d become accustomed to, he was easily the most beautiful man Kassimeigh had ever met. Objectively speaking, anyway. A quick glance at Arc reminded her that she lacked any objectivity at all where he was concerned.
“You’re tall and strong, Kassimeigh, but no one’s ever going to mistake you for anything but—” his eyes darted to Arc and he seemed to catch himself, “. . . not a guy,” he finished lamely.
Kassimeigh and Arc burst into laughter, and Will joined them. When she’d first met him, he’d been stiffly formal and easily flustered. He’d matured tremendously since then, but still had his awkward moments. She was all the fonder of him for it.
“But you look great,” he recovered gallantly. “You seem happy.”
“Vacation must agree with me.”
“I wondered how you were doing outside of the order.” His mouth tightened with concern. “I didn’t want to pry, though.”
“I’m still struggling with it, but I’m committed to moving forward. I’ve been trying to stay so busy that I don’t miss what I can’t have.” A cold shock of loss shot down her spine. That still happened from time to time. She mentally gave the sensation the finger and squared her shoulders. “So what’s new up here?”
“Everything. Outside, we’re developing training areas. Inside, we’re developing designs for renovation. We’ve had to make do with the existing layout because without the monorail we can’t get enough building supplies to get anything done. Although . . .” He drew the word out as though thinking something through even as he spoke. “We just happened to receive a manahi who could probably do the entire project for us without ever having to pick up a hammer.”
Kassimeigh smiled. “Oh, I see. Exploit your friends, right?”
“If you can’t exploit your friends, who can you exploit? But you’re not just a friend. You’re first lieutenant and the second in command of this operation, if memory serves.”
Kassimeigh’s lips parted in a silent oh of surprise. She’d never considered that. “I agreed to be first lieutenant for our original mission. We never talked about formalizing that arrangement after you established the Guard.”
“As far as I’m concerned, the job remains yours until you formally tell me you quit. There’s no one I’d rather have, and no one more qualified. And I did hear you’re looking for a new gig these days.” He wore a smile that few women could have refused. Kassimeigh was glad to be one of the few.
“That’s a pretty serious ‘gig.’ If you mean it, I’d have to think about it.”
“I’m completely serious. You’re the one I’ve wanted all along, but it didn’t seem possible because of your duty to the shiv order. Now, you’re delightfully eligible to assume a command position. Think about it.”
She considered. “I will.”
“Good. Now let me show you the training grounds. I think you’ll like them. You can try on that first lieutenant position. See if it fits.”
Kassimeigh sat in the library alone, enjoying the comforting warmth of a mug of tea between her hands. She’d lost track of Arc a few hours ago when he’d gone to assess the Guard’s archery equipment. Will had gone to run some combat training drills. While Kassimeigh normally would have enjoyed joining in, she’d felt a need for a little solitude and introspection.
Will’s suggestion that she take up a permanent command within the Guard intrigued her. The experience would certainly be an ideal combination of the familiar and the new. Combat and pure physicality were within her skill set, but translating those skills into large-scale tandem operations would be an interesting challenge.
This offer felt far more right for her than working for the Council of Magistrates or doing manahi things at the Institute of Mana Science with Luc. However, she didn’t want to go straight from one lifelong commitment to another. She could only choose a purpose that felt as fulfilling as her work as a justice had. Could the Guard give her that? She had doubts.
Kassimeigh’s sense of an approaching mana signature pushed her considerations aside. She recognized the signature even before Azure Keats’ friendly smile came through the doorway.
“You’re looking very serious,” the doctor observed as she slid into a chair across from Kassimeigh. “Tough day?”
“Not at all. I just find myself with the very common conundrum of what to do with my life.”
“Ah. What you want to be when you grow up. Somet
hing most young adults struggle with, but you never experienced that, did you?”
“It’s a new one,” she admitted. “That makes the process of making the decision an experience all by itself.”
“Very astute. It sounds like you’re approaching the whole thing with the right perspective then. Embracing new opportunities.”
Azure’s observation bore too much similarity to the elders’ reason for casting her out of the order. Kassimeigh’s fingers tightened around the rapidly cooling mug. “Maybe.”
Mental gymnastics flickered over Azure’s features. “Have you considered a job within the manahi sector? It sure seems like the no-brainer choice.”
“Luc mentioned it when I was completing my training with him, but that’s not the right place for me. Not now, anyway.”
“You’re done with your advanced training already? That took, what, two months?”
“Something like that. We progressed faster than Luc had anticipated.”
Azure laughed. “Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me. With your talent, you could probably pioneer some amazing things in the medical field. Ever think about being a doctor?”
Kassimeigh shook her head dismissively. “I’m not interested in going back to school. I’ve done that, and I’m not looking for that experience, at least not at this point.”
“Hmm,” Azure mused, tapping her finger against her jaw. “I could suggest you work at the grid, harnessing power into the system, but you’d put thousands of mana-holders out of work. And simple harnessing would be a waste of your talents, anyway.”
“It sounds dreadfully dull. Definitely not putting that on the short list.”
“I’m sure the right thing will find you.” Azure smiled encouragingly.
“Thank you.” Kassimeigh didn’t know Azure terribly well, but had begun an acquaintance with the doctor during her initial crash course in mana mechanics. Azure had given her some of her first lessons in conjuring.
Kassimeigh said, “Will did ask me to renovate the fortress for him, and it sounds fun. Maybe building design will be my new calling.”
Azure chuckled. “You never know. And that’s a great idea. The rooms here are not well designed for our purposes. I hope an infirmary is at the top of Will’s list.”
“He didn’t mention it, but I’ll be sure to.”
“Thanks. I’ve been running physicals on incoming trainees in barracks and using the arboretum as a meeting space. Privacy is important for what I do, so this is a real problem. In spite of the space issues, Will and I have made some great long-term plans in terms of emergency protocols. In fact, he’s asked me to join the staff. I came up here just to help with setup, but he wants me to be the chief of medicine for the Guard.”
“Do you suppose he had that in mind all along?”
“I have an odd feeling he did.”
“Will you agree?” Kassimeigh asked.
“I think so.” Azure wore a saucy grin. “It’s not too terrible to be here with all these buff guys.”
Kassimeigh smiled and a thought seemed to occur to Azure.
“Is that what it was like when you were a shiv? More men than women?”
Kassimeigh waved her hand dismissively. “Women were more of a minority there than here, if that’s what you mean. But the ratio of the genders and the buffness of the men didn’t concern me.”
A tiny sigh escaped Azure. “All that discipline and skill wrapped up in sleek shoka outfits. A shame it was all lost on you.”
“It wasn’t lost. Just irrelevant in the way you mean it.” Kassimeigh smiled.
Azure stood up quickly. “I should get back to work, but I’m really glad to see you. I hope we’ll have more time to chat while you’re here. Any idea how long that will be?”
“Anywhere from a week to forever.”
“Way to embrace ambiguity!” Azure pumped a fist in the air and, with a grin, strode out of the library, which left Kassimeigh alone again with her thoughts.
Ina opened the door to her home, and immediately knew Luc had arrived before her. The trim little house simply felt different when he occupied it. She loved coming home to him, especially after a long day of Council meetings. So much work went into planning the infrastructure changes necessary to accommodate the Guard, they’d all put in overtime lately. Luc’s warm smile was a rejuvenating salve on her parched constitution.
In spite of frequent work-related absences, he now spent most nights with her. She’d thought it would never happen because their careers had taken them in different directions for too many years, but he’d become a permanent resident of her home. Their home.
“Ah, good timing,” he beamed at her. He took her hand and kissed it. To others, it might seem like a theatrical gesture, but instead of kissing the back of her hand, he always rotated her wrist and kissed the fleshy base of her palm just above the joint. The way his lips lingered over her skin changed the experience from gallantry to enticement. Just the week before, she’d almost been late to a Council meeting because of one of those kisses.
“I would have come home earlier but unfortunately, this was the best I could do. What am I just in time for?”
“Dinner.” His eyes gleamed with eager gaiety.
“You cooked?”
“Better. I ordered. Then I set the table.”
As he led her to the dining table, she saw that he had laid out an extravagant meal of indulgent foods. He’d used their best dishes and silverware as well as pretty linens she hadn’t seen before. A tall cell-powered candle and a bouquet of romantic hothouse flowers anchored the center of the table.
“It’s beautiful. So romantic.” She allowed her heart to shine through her eyes in appreciation of his thoughtfulness.
He tucked her into her seat before taking his own. “I hope you’re hungry. I think I ordered enough food for twice as many people.” His tiny, abashed smile made her love him even more.
“It’s wonderful. Is there a special reason for all this?”
“Just that I wanted to give you a nice evening. You’ve been working so hard, between the Guard planning and coordinating with the lab. You barely find time to eat a decent meal.”
“Speaking of work, how are things at the lab?” Once the question of mana had been raised, Luc had become a member of the team there.
“We’ll need six more days to finish the tests. Now, that is the last work-related thing we’re going to say tonight.”
She laughed and toasted him with a forkful of carrot soufflé before having a taste. She hummed with pleasure as the sugared decadence burst on her tongue and sent happy sensations all the way through her. “Then let’s talk wedding plans.”
“Are you terribly disappointed at postponing it?”
“Yes. I truly am. We spent too many years postponing our future together and I’m sorry to have to wait on anything. I know that’s selfish, but we were selfless for over a decade while we put our jobs ahead of our relationship.”
He frowned in agreement, chewing slowly. “You know, we could still just do it. Elope. Enjoy a little getaway, just us. It would be romantic.”
“It would. But we’re only doing this once and I want the real thing. A small wedding, with the people we love most. A dress. An arbor. Planting a tree together. With Arc standing up for us and Kassimeigh officiating.”
Luc put down his fork. “She can’t do that now.”
Ina sighed. “I know. But she can stand up with us, instead. We just have to give her and Arc a little time to deal with what’s happened to her.” She pressed her hands against the table and stared down at them.
“She’s strong. She has Arc. They’ll figure it out.”
“I can’t imagine the hurt and abandonment she must feel. I’ve never considered challenging the shiv order before, but I keep coming back to that thought. If I applied pressure, saying that the Council had specific need of Kassimeigh in a judicial capacity, it could lend some sway. Push the elders to reconsider.”
“Is that your place
to do?” Luc raised an eyebrow at the potentially meddling love of his life.
“No. The Council never meddles in the affairs of the shivs. But I’d do it in a second, if I thought it was in Kassimeigh’s best interest. I’ve earned the right, after all these years of sacrifice, to use my authority to benefit someone I care about. But I keep reminding myself that the shivs are also concerned with her best interest. She trusts them, and I tell myself that I should, too. More than that, I have to trust her to solve her own problems.”
“Yes. I doubt she’d appreciate your interference, however well-intentioned it was. Just as she wouldn’t appreciate me pushing her toward a career at the Institute.”
“She hasn’t expressed any interest at all?”
“No! Dammit! I’ve suggested it, of course, but she’s more interested in waving that blasted sword of hers around.” He scowled, and the aristocratic visage she loved so much transformed into a cranky old man’s playground.
Ina hid her smile at his suddenly irascible mood. After so many years, his mercurial shifts failed to surprise her. Secretly, she even found them endearing.
“She is quite good with that sword,” she reminded him.
“Not the point.”
“You want her at the Institute, then. Teaching and doing research,” she surmised blandly.
“With her ability, imagine what she could do. In research and development, she could turn everything on its head. In mechanics, she could discover new materials, new alloys, new construction methods. In medicine, she could assist in experiments that the doctors haven’t quite been able to manage. She could create that last step that makes the difference between a waste of time and a cure for some of engineering’s or medicine’s toughest puzzles. She could rewrite the textbooks. She could put new elements on the periodic chart. Imagine it.”
