by J. R. Gray
“Shit, Scotty, you’re scaring me.”
“You didn’t have to stop.” She sounded deadly calm. It was more off putting than the look in her eyes on the table.
“Yes, I really did.”
“I was dealing with it like you said we needed to, to get past it.” Her words were hollow.
“Not what I meant at all.” He tapered his words so he didn’t get frustrated.
“I don’t know how else.” She pressed her face into his chest.
“If you’re not enjoying submitting, it’s going to further concrete in your head the bad feelings. You should be in sub space, not letting me do my thing.”
“I want it, but I don’t know how.”
He held her. It was clear he was going to have to be creative so she could work past it without realizing she was also submitting. It was the only idea he had. “We can work on it. But don’t ever do that to me again. Use your safe word if you start to panic.”
She looked up at him and kissed him. He knew he probably shouldn’t, but he was still half hard and it was difficult to say no to those perfect red lips. She wrapped herself around him, licking over his tongue and teeth. It was slow at first, but when she started rubbing herself over him he couldn’t hold back.
He rolled on top of her, pinning her under him. She moaned, lifting her hips and he realized how very naked she was. He slid a hand between them to quickly free his cock. He rubbed his tip over her and she returned the need wantonly. She pushed his hand out of the way, digging her nails into him as she stroked.
It hit him. He could dominate her and restrain her himself. The difference was subtle, and it would be more rough sex than full bondage, but maybe it was the change she needed. He hovered over her, one hand next to her and the other he put on her throat. It was more controlling than choking, but she purred, pulling him by the dick toward her opening. He let her play, watching as she used him to rub over her clit.
Before she could get herself off he sat back, and she tried to follow.
“Stay,” he said, getting a condom. “Put it on me.” He tossed it down on her chest.
She did as she was told, taking care to roll it down over his cock. She tried again to guide him between her legs, but he shook his head.
“I’m going to fuck your face first.”
She started to get up and come to his knees, but he stopped her again.
“Arms over your head.”
She did as he asked but look a little panicked.
“I’m not going to tie you. Just keep them there.”
She nodded, looking a little calmer.
“Trust me.” He knelt over her face, taking her wrists in one of his hands as he pressed his tip to her lips.
Her eyes lit up, and she nipped at him.
“Be nice,” he hissed, but really he didn’t want her to be nice at all.
She picked her head up off the pillow and sucked his tip into her mouth. He was going to have to really hold off. It was going to be nearly impossible to not come while watching those red lips around him. He pressed forward, letting her get used to the size of him. She took him greedily, and he lost control, pulling back to slam forward. His tip hit the back of her throat, but she took it all, swallowing around him. She pulled at the grip he had on her wrists and her eyes started to water, but this time was so much different. Instead of panic written in her face, there was only lust there.
He backed off, this time feeding his cock to her slowly. He was going to enjoy this for a while. But then she started to do something with her tongue to the underside of his head, and he nearly came right then. He pulled himself out of her mouth and growled.
She giggled. “Something wrong, Sir?”
“You know exactly what you were doing.”
She bit her lip. He smacked her cheek with his cock.
“Am I being naughty?” She batted her eye lashes.
He got off her and roughly flipped her over. She lifted her ass in the air, taunting him. He positioned himself, grabbing her ass cheek to spread her wide open. While playing his other hand in the middle of her back so she couldn’t move, he forced himself into her. She moaned, trying to take more of him.
“You little whore.” He fucked himself in and out of her.
“Yes, Sir.” She twisted a little so she could get one hand between herself and the mattress. She brushed her fingers over his cock before she started to tease herself.
He put his weight onto the hand on her and used his free one to yank her hair. She moaned louder and pressed again, skimming her fingers over his dick.
“May I come?” she asked, breathless.
“Yes,” he said, teetering on the brink himself.
As soon as she started to spasm around him he lost it.
They curled back up, coming down together. This time she couldn’t keep her hands off of him, and he was the same. He brushed over the marks he’d left on her bottom, knowing he’d have to put some cream on them later, but for now, they both needed just this.
They woke a few hours later. He was of course hard again, just at the thought of her in his bed.
“You were in sub space, weren’t you?”
“Yes,” she whispered, finding him under the covers. He felt a condom press onto his head and she rolled it over him. She must have woken up before he did.
“Again?” he asked.
He was met with the feel of her silky entrance. “My vagina is going to be like WTF? tomorrow, but God I need to come again.” She wasn’t coy about the way she said it.
He pushed inside her. “It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?” He was slow this time, enjoying the sensation.
“It’s like being a virgin again.”
He groaned. “You’re wicked.”
“Am I?”
“God, yes you are, kitten.”
“Please hold me down again.”
“Only if you beg.”
Chapter Sixteen
Scotty could barely walk by the next day. She had marks all over her body, and damn she felt good and sore.
“Do you really have to go?” he asked, still naked in bed. She was pretty sure he was trying to entice her back with his big cock on display like that.
“Cheri is going to start to worry, and I really have to log into work and check everything.”
“I want to see you again.”
“Okay.”
“I have an idea.”
“Oh?” she asked. She wanted to see him again, too. It had been way too long since she’d had someone to make her orgasm regularly, and she wasn’t going to give it up soon, even if it was a mutual fling.
“Remember how you told me you had a hard time getting her out of your mind? How she had rooted herself there, and all your extraction attempts had failed.”
“Yes.” Her chest ached. She didn’t love Tanya any longer, but she very much had burned pathways into Scotty’s brain.
“Maybe it’s time you get some help with the extraction.”
“How do I do that?”
He took her hands in his. “Let me help you. We’ll face her together.”
“How?”
“I’m not telling you. My car will pick you up tomorrow at seven. There will be a box waiting in the backseat. Wear what’s inside.”
Chapter Seventeen
“You can do this.” Cheri sat on the bathroom counter watching Scotty do her makeup.
Since she wasn’t sure where they were going, it was hard to decide how to do her makeup.
“Let me,” Cheri grabbed the brush from her and started to fix her eyeliner. “You want a little fuck me.”
“What if he’s taking me to a nice place?”
Cheri gave her a flat look. “Fuck me makeup always works after seven.” She didn’t stop there. She painted Scotty’s lips red and gave her a smoky look. “There, classy, but still fuck me. So whatever he puts you in will fit.”
Scotty looked at herself in the mirror. She went with either light makeup or none at all at w
ork lately. This was a big step backward. Or, at least, it felt like it. Tanya required her to be in full makeup all the time. As much as she never had clothes on while with her, she also never went anywhere without her face painted. Maybe it was the reason this all felt so hard. Or maybe it was feeling like she had to climb a mountain to get her personal life back after the pieces Tanya had left it in.
“What are you wearing down to the car?” Cheri stood behind her, watching her through the mirror.
“I hadn’t thought about it.” She turned to head to her room, almost in a daze. Cheri followed behind her, almost mother hen like, hovering.
Scotty stood at her closet flipping through the rows of business clothes there. How much had changed in a few years. So many suits. She needed to get her head out of this weird time warp of memories she’d seemed to fall into.
“Are you okay?” Cheri’s voice broke her from a particularly bad memory. Or good, it could have been good had things not gone so horribly wrong. She should be thinking back on those things and smiling, but it was all tainted. The first night she went to the club with Cheri.
“Yes,” Scotty said in a whisper. “I was just thinking.”
“Stop thinking about her. The cunt gives lesbians a bad name.”
“She gives humans a bad name.”
“True that.” Cheri wrapped her arms around Scotty.
Scotty leaned back into the embrace. “What if I can’t do it?”
“You can do it, and you will do it because you’re not going to let Tanya take this from you.” Cheri gave her a tight squeeze. “I have something for you. I was saving it until your birthday since I already got you something for Christmas, but I think you could use it now.” She went to her room, and Scotty took a heavy seat on her bed.
She was going through a downward spiral of “what the hell is wrong with you” when Cheri walked back in.
“You have got to get out of your head. You go back to work on Monday, and letting off some tension will help.”
It was already wrapped. They both had a thing for wrapping, having a wrap off every year to see who could create the prettier present. This one was done in white paper with a black swirly pattern overlaid. The design was textured, and Scotty ran her fingers over it. It was tied up with a wide black ribbon, and Scotty hesitated before she pulled on it.
“It’s lovely.”
“I so win this year. There is no way you can top it.”
Scotty laughed and ran a nail under the tape. “You’ll never win.”
Cheri growled. “Just open the damn gift. But I took pictures, and it’s going to get me a win.”
Scotty dropped the paper on the floor before lifting the lid on the box. It was a simple red box. Buried in the tissue paper was a lightweight black robe.
She looked up, tears brimming in her eyes. “Thank you.”
“I was thinking if you wanted to come back to the club, but not be fully exposed.” Cheri shrugged it off. She liked to pretend she wasn’t sentimental. But she was. So much so. Scotty loved her for it.
“Don’t you think it will be a little cold?” She took off the bulky robe she’d been wearing and slipped it on over the simple lingerie. It was see-through, but only just barely.
“I love it.”
“It’s just for down to the car. Put your overcoat on like you used to…” She trailed off but Scotty knew she was going to say, “like you used to when you went out with Tanya naked.”
It stung, but not more than the rest of the night.
“Perfect. Now you have to get going. His car is going to be here any moment.”
Scotty closed her eyes and put on her game face. She was going to have to fake it until she felt it. She slipped into her shoes and headed for the door.
The elevator moved in slow motion, and by the time it hit the lobby Scotty knew she couldn’t do this.
Chapter Eighteen
Monday came, and Scotty tried to work. She’d been here since six but she had only completed one billable hour of work. It was bad. She needed to get in a good ten or twelve before she went home. Maybe she’d go back to her first year days and just stay all night.
She opened her email, and Stark’s name sat at the top. He’d sent her three texts since her text last week saying she couldn’t do it, but he’d given up when she hadn’t replied. How could she? She knew she was a disappointment, and there was nothing worse as a submissive than feeling like a disappointment. She got off on pleasing other people, and she couldn’t even do that anymore. Sighing, she clicked on the email.
I’m sorry. I wish you’d let me explain, or explain what was going through your head. I had this amazing woman who gave me a tiny amount of trust and I pushed too far and too fast and I blew it. I really hope you’ll forgive me one day, until then, I’ll leave you alone. ~ Best, Stark
Scotty felt like utter shit. Worse than shit. The lowest of the low. She hadn’t replied because she couldn’t deal with the disappointment, but in the process she’d made him feel like it was something he’d done.
Stark, I can’t apologize enough. It was entirely me, it had nothing to do with anything you did. ~ Scotty
Thirty seconds after she sent the message there was a reply from him.
The whole ‘it’s me not you’ doesn’t make me feel better. ~ Stark
He followed the message with a few emojis but Scotty still felt the sting. Sometimes the things people say in jest hurt the worst.
I had a panic attack. Really it wasn’t me either. It was my fear. ~ Scotty
You should have called me! Are you okay? ~ Stark
Scotty pressed her eyes closed.
I couldn’t. Please let me apologize and if you never want to see me again, I understand. ~Scotty
She sent the message and then closed her email. She felt a little better, and it was time to get some work done.
* * * *
By the time she left the office even the traffic was light. Unheard of for Manhattan. She checked her watch. It was really late, almost one in the morning. She decided to call an Uber, instead of risking a train. Once nestled in the warm back seat, she opened the email from Stark she’d left sitting all day.
I need to see you again. ~ Stark
His house wasn’t far from her path home. It would be easy to call on him and yet rude.
Are you sure you want to? ~ Scotty
She was having a hard time finding the confidence she once exuded with him. She closed her phone and laid her head back against the rest. Her phone vibrated when she was a mile from home. Picking it up, she expected it to be Cheri wondering where she was.
Nightcap? I promise I’ll be a gentleman. ~ Stark
She was tired to her bones. Emotionally drained from the guilt she’d put on herself.
It was a long day at work. This weekend maybe? ~ Scotty
She headed up to her apartment, ready to crawl into bed with Cheri and cry about what she’d done to Stark. But instead of calm, she was greeted by chaos.
There were firemen and EMTs spilling out of her front door, and Scotty panicked. She pushed her way through, hitting anyone who tried to hold her back. “Cheri?” she cried, finally pushing through the last of the bodies.
Cheri stood over someone Scotty didn’t recognize who laid on a stretcher.
“What happened?”
“Scotty!” Cheri pulled her into her arms and started crying on her shoulder.
“What happened?” Scotty said again.
“Umm… this is Ann, she had an asthma attack. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t find her inhaler. She must have forgotten it.” Cheri was speaking a mile a minute.
“Is she okay?” Scotty asked the guy holding oxygen to Ann’s face.
“She will be. We have to take her now. Do you want to come with?” the paramedic asked Cheri.
Cheri looked from Scotty to Ann. “I do…?” She searched Scotty’s face.
“Go,” Scotty said. Her issues could wait. Cheri was needed.
The
entire mess of people cleared out, and Scotty was left alone. Truly alone. She couldn’t keep leaning on Cheri like she was her Dominant. Eventually Cheri was going to meet someone and move out and then what would Scotty have? A job? She needed more.
Do you still want that nightcap?
Chapter Nineteen
Stark had just retired to bed when his phone lit up. It couldn’t be, he thought. But it was.
I’ll leave the door unlocked ~ Stark
He put the kettle on and waited. When he opened the door she was dressed like she just left work. He took her coat and hung it before leading her into the kitchen.
“I made tea,” he said, gesturing for her to take a seat. “Would you like some?”
“Yes, please.” She smoothed a hand over her blouse when she sat. A weariness hung over her.
“Bad day at work?” He knew she’d been out of the office for a week, but this looked worse.
“No, it was fine.” She sighed and opened her mouth like she was going to speak but stopped herself.
“What happened?”
“I had a lot of things to get through. Nothing bad.”
“You’re not telling me the full truth, and you don’t have to, but I can feel it.” He set a steaming mug of water in front of her, and she lifted her hands above it. He made his own, waiting for her to speak.
“I guess I’ve realized a lot today.”
“Oh?” He went into therapist mode, wanting to keep her talking.
She tucked her hair behind her ear and looked down at her hands. “I came home to a stranger having an asthma attack in my house.”
“Is everyone alright?” Stark got to his feet. “Your friend? Why aren’t you at the hospital?”
