by J. M. Nevins
She sniffled and took a seat on the opposite end of the sofa from him. He left the room and returned with some tissues for her. She took them and dabbed her eyes. She stared at him as he took his seat. “I really fucked up, didn’t I, Joe?”
He chuckled. “No. Kit, don’t take this the wrong way, ok?” She nodded. He grinned. “I really think that if we were meant to be together then we would have been. There was an element missing the whole time, even though I didn’t want there to be. And I didn’t realize that until I met Veronique. I’ve never met anyone like her. She’s my perfect match. It’s inexplicable. There’s no formula Kit, just an inner knowing.
“If it makes you feel any better, I was completely in love with you for a very long time. Long before we moved out here. Why do you think I moved my ass to Philly after I dropped out of Berklee? I was praying you’d dump Darren and run to me. That didn’t exactly unfold in a favorable way for either of us.”
She interjected and forced a grin. “You saved my life in Philly, Joe.” She started to get choked up again. “I’ve taken you for granted all these years. I’m so sorry. I don’t think I’ve ever told you how grateful for you I was. I think he would have killed me if you hadn’t stepped in that night. I don’t even remember it.”
Joe let out a long sigh. “It’s better you don’t, babe. You recovered from it well, though, and came back as a fighter. Leaving Philly was the best thing for both of us.” He stared into her eyes. “Kit, that’s what I was trying to tell you about those walls you were putting up. When you do that it’s impossible to get through. I tried. You wouldn’t let me in. So I had to go elsewhere.”
She nodded. “I really thought I was in love with Seth. I did. But there was a part of me that always thought of you and what it would be like.”
He sipped his iced tea, knowingly. “Or Sully. C’mon admit it. There’s something there.”
She frowned. “Huh? Don’t try and change the subject. No. Sully is my best friend, yes, and he’s cute, but he’s got a girlfriend.”
He chuckled. “Who he’d drop like a hot rock for you in a heartbeat.”
She shook her head. “Not so. He pushed me away the other night. Joe, it’s clearly time for me to fly solo for a while. I’m sick of getting my heart broken.”
He grinned. “Honey, that’s what has gotten you into this mess both personally and professionally.”
She frowned. “Huh?”
“Baby, the minute the record companies come knocking for GT, it’s time for you to make the jump. I have a feeling that will come before your graduation date from law school. Forget being a lawyer, Kit. You have talent. Your heart is trying to get you to take the leap. Don’t let fear hold you back here. Fear has been holding you back all this time. Break the cycle and fly.”
She carefully evaluated what he was telling her. “Joe, are you saying that if I would have given you a chance back then that you and I may be together and that you would have married me instead?”
He laughed. “Jesus, you are such an attorney twisting words around like that. You must have gotten that from your dad. No, counselor, that is not what I’m saying. Kit, if we would have gotten together who knows what would have happened? We may have broken up with the way we fight. We were meant to be friends. It just took me longer to figure that out. You are meant to be a record exec, not an attorney. Follow your heart, Kit. It’s time and those opportunities are coming. I can feel ‘em on the brink.”
She eyed him. “Who have you been talking to?”
He grinned. “I may have talked you up to a few strategic players, but let me tell ya, I didn’t really need to. You have your own reputation and it’s a damned good one, sweetie.”
Her eyes widened. “It is?”
He nodded. “Yes, but baby please be careful. It is a double-edged sword out here and I even hate to say this…”
She frowned. “Say what?”
He sighed. “Because you’re a chick you need to be more careful. There is a target on your back already. I’m sure as you gain more success it will be turned into a price on your head that is so high it will either make you a commodity, or a candidate for assassination, or maybe both. There are the jerks from the boys club that don’t want you playing in their sandbox and will do everything in their power to keep you out. And then there are the cooler guys that want you to be their pinch hitter and keep knocking ‘em out of the park. The word is out about you and spreading like wildfire. Let me put it this way, you and Sull are definitely marked and being tracked.”
A half grin graced her face and she giggled. “Really?”
He leaned forward on the edge of his seat and smiled wide. “Really. Now, how much do you need for the GT tour? I sense a wire transfer in my future.”
She grinned. “I guess you talked to Sull.”
He leaned back and got comfortable. “I did. How much, Miss Manager?”
They discussed the details of the tour for an hour straight and at the conclusion of the conversation Joe called the bank and made a wire transfer to her business account. She was about to say her goodbyes, not wanting to impose on his afternoon, when he asked her to stay. She immediately noticed the change in his demeanor and became concerned.
She stared at him. “Joe, I bared my soul to you hours ago, now you can do me the same courtesy. What’s up? Whatever it is, I won’t say a word. I’ll hold it in confidence.”
He nodded and shifted his eyes away. He didn’t understand what was happening to him. “Kit, something’s not right.” Worry clouded his gaze. “I’m scared. I’ve been having these intense headaches and dizziness but I can’t take anything for it. I black out and other weird things are happening. I feel kinda weak and numb. It’s odd. I don’t know if something is up from my body coming off all the drugs since I’ve put it through the ringer since college, or what. I don’t have a good feeling about this.”
She took his hand and squeezed it. “You need to go to the doctor and have things checked out. I know you’re scared, but it’s best if you know what you’re dealing with. Your body has been through so much in the last few years and I’m sure rehab was a shock. You’ll be ok, baby.”
He smiled and hugged her tightly. “I really do love you, Kit. I always will.” He pulled back and gazed into her eyes. “I may be married now, but you’ll still always be my best gal pal. The one that made me a star…albeit a reluctant one at times.”
She giggled. “You did that on your own, love.”
He shook his head. “No. Not entirely. I couldn’t have gotten here without you. Like I said, Kit, you have a talent polishing random musicians into sought after diamonds. You’re a star maker. No matter what happens or how bleak things may look at the moment, don’t forget that. You’re gonna need it to survive this business.” He chuckled and winked. “It’s a fucking jungle out there.”
Sully strolled into the apartment, wandered over to the table as he usually did, and found Kit hunched over her schoolwork. He chuckled. “Some things never change. You wanna take a lunch break?”
She looked up and grinned. “Hey. How long have you been standing there?”
“Not long. Let’s go. I’m sure your brain is throbbing by now.”
She chuckled. “Gimme a minute. I have to finish this paragraph and we can go.” There was a knock at the door. She rolled her eyes. “Sull, can you grab that please?”
He nodded and got up. He opened the door and froze. He gulped and stared at the uniformed officers with wide eyes. “Can I help you?”
The lead officer looked solemn. “We’re looking for Kit McKenna. Does she live here?”
Sully couldn’t mask the worried look in his eyes. He prayed that Kit hadn’t done something illegal. He called out to her. “Kit, come here, please.” She frowned and shut her book, finally done. She walked into the living room and froze in her tracks the moment she noticed the officer. Sully looked at her. “This officer was asking for you.”
She took a deep breath and stepped forward. “I’m K
it McKenna.”
The officer nodded. “Are you acquainted with Joseph Arden?”
Kit instantly felt invisible knots tighten in her stomach. She had a very bad feeling about all of this and prayed he didn’t have a relapse that landed him in jail. She nodded slowly. “Yes. He’s a very close friend. Has something happened?” She swallowed hard and the words slipped out before she could retract them. “I’m his attorney. Is there a problem?”
The officer nodded. “Yes. He was found unresponsive this morning in his residence. The coroner estimated the time of death around four or five this morning. We’re unclear on the cause of death. There’s an investigation underway and an autopsy will be conducted…” He continued but suddenly his words didn’t make any sense to Kit. She felt a wave of excruciatingly painful grief coupled with confusion and disbelief. The room started to spin and then everything went black.
Sully watched as Kit wavered and when her knees started to buckle, he and both officers leapt into action to catch her. She fainted in Sully’s arms. He gently guided her down to the floor, keeping her close to him as he looked up at the officers. “She’ll be ok.” He seized a piece of sheet music that he noticed sticking out of the one of the bookcases and started fanning her. One of the officers asked where the kitchen was and went to retrieve a glass of water for her.
Sully felt choked up and held back his own tears, not wanting to accept what the officer said as truth, but somehow feeling in his heart that it was. He kissed Kit on the forehead. “C’mon, baby. I’m right here. It will be ok. We’ll handle this together.”
Her eyes fluttered open and she noticed the officer hovering over her with his hand extending a glass of water. She looked up at Sully and saw the look in his eyes as he smoothed her hair. She burst into tears knowing it wasn’t a bad dream. Joe was really gone.
She rubbed her eyes and sat up slowly, taking the glass of water from the officer. Sully stood up and offered his hand to help her up. He threw his arm around her to guide her to the sofa and motioned to the officers to take a seat in the chairs across from them.
Kit listened to the details while tears streamed down her cheeks. She knew Veronique had been out of town on a modeling shoot in New York and wasn’t due back for another day. She automatically assumed that Joe had a relapse until she learned from Sully that he had been over at Joe’s the night before hanging out and there were no drugs or alcohol present. They were just jamming on guitars. The officer confirmed that there were no drugs or alcohol on the scene either. The maid had found Joe that morning in his bed without a pulse and called the authorities. The officers scrambled to find a contact and noticed Kit’s information on the refrigerator.
She gave the officer a phone number for Joe’s parents in Lake Forest and Sully offered up the information he had. He remembered Joe mentioning that Veronique was staying at the Waldorf Astoria in Manhattan and recalled them having a conversation before she went to sleep. Sully and Joe resumed their jamming after that until Sully left shortly after midnight when Joe told him he was exhausted, had a splitting headache, and wanted to sleep it off. Sully sighed, recalling his last words with Joe were nothing out of the ordinary. He wished he could rewind and change the situation, but he couldn’t.
Alexa walked out with her small overnight suitcase in hand. She forced a grin when she saw Sully. He did the same as he walked in and set his bag down. She looked at him. “Your girl drop you off?”
He nodded solemnly and approached her. “How are you?”
She shook her head as tears welled up in her eyes. “Not good. This is really hard.” She gave him a quick hug and pulled back. “Go get Kit. She’s really gonna need you. I’m not quite sure she’s ready to go and the limo is due here any second.”
He nodded and walked into Kit’s bedroom. She was sitting on her bed staring off into space. “Hey.”
She looked over slowly and smirked. “Hey. Limo here?”
He shook his head. “Not yet. You ready? Do you need help with anything?” He noticed her small suitcase half full, in disarray.
She nodded and stared sobbing. He sat down and took her into his arms. He kissed her on the top of her head. Alexa yelled to them. “Driver’s here. C’mon, guys.”
Kit pulled away from Sully and jumped into action, throwing things in hastily. She wiped her eyes and stood up. “Let’s go.” She was about to grab her suitcase when Sully grinned and picked it up. He offered his hand. She took it and forced a grin.
Sully sat in his first class seat next to Kit watching her as she slept soundly. She had been drinking scotch constantly from the moment they took their seats and finally drifted off to sleep. He glanced around the cabin and thought it ironic how one of his dreams was coming true under the direst of circumstances. He had always wanted to fly first class. He had hoped one day his first flight in luxury would be picked up by a record company, not by the parents’ of his now deceased best buddy.
Joe’s parents had elected to fly Kit, Sully, and Alexa out for the funeral in Lake Forest, Illinois. Maxine was being flown in from New York where she was on assignment. They had taken care of all the expenses, booked their flights, and arranged for limousines to and from the airport. Kit and Sully would be staying in the enormous Valois family mansion for the weekend, while Alexa and Maxine stayed at Alexa’s parents’ estate nearby. Joe’s mother, Abigail, specifically wanted Kit nearby. She loved her new daughter-in-law, Veronique, but was still getting to know her. Kit was like family and had a long history with the Valois family.
The turnout for the funeral was purposely small and included only family and selected friends including Steel Pony, their manager Nigel, and a few record executives from Joe’s label. His parents wanted to keep the hoopla out of it as much as possible and negotiated with the record company to hold a large memorial service in Joe’s honor in Los Angeles the following week where all of his friends, acquaintances, and the recording industry could celebrate his memory.
Kit looked around, recognizing all of Joe’s family, including the contingent from France who she and Alexa had stayed with one summer when they were eleven. She even noticed her own grandmother and younger brother off in the distance as she kept her arm firmly fixed around Veronique who was inconsolable. Although she hadn’t gotten to know her that well yet, Kit sensed she and Veronique would always be closely bonded no matter what happened going forward. She felt badly for her and immediately wanted to close her heart off to insure nothing so devastating would ever happen to her. Joe’s voice rang out in her mind though, reminding her otherwise. She made a pact to start living her life differently from now on. She would take bigger risks and leave her heart open. It was the least she could do not only to honor Joe’s memory, but to live the life she dreamed of.
Sully stood in the living room a week later singing the chorus of the new song he had written the day before. Kit watched him and nodded her head in approval when the phone rang. She groaned and got up, headed for the kitchen. “Hold on, Sull.” She smiled. “It’s sounding great. I think you’re onto something. Maybe we can add that to the set for the tour?”
She dragged the phone into the living room and answered. Her happy expression faded as she listened to Joe’s mother talking on the other end. Sully noticed the shift and took a seat next to her on the sofa, sensing something was up. He stroked her back gently, watching as tears rolled down her cheeks. She only remained on the phone for a short time and concluded the call. She hung up and let out a long sigh.
Sully spoke gently. “Babe, who was that?”
She took a deep breath to compose herself. “Abigail Valois. The autopsy report came back.” She searched Sully’s eyes. “Joe didn’t die from anything drug or alcohol related. Toxicology revealed there were no traces in his bloodstream. He had a fatal brain aneurysm. His doctors think he went to rehab too late. Too much brain damage was done and coming out of his drinking and drugging was too much on his body. Joe was always super sensitive. He was a sickly kid. His body evidently
couldn’t handle it. They think he died in his sleep and it was quick. They said it was probably peaceful, but I know leading up to it, he was having really painful headaches. I should have listened. I should have taken him to emergency that day.”
Sully shook his head. “Kit, do not blame yourself. He told me about the headaches too and I told him to see a doctor. We didn’t know. We couldn’t have known.” He hugged her tightly as she let the tears flow freely again and he felt a lone tear trickle down his own cheek. Joe was his best friend next to Kit and he wasn’t sure how things were going to be without him around. Seven weeks had passed since his death and Sully still expected to get a call from him or see him stroll into Dahlia’s house unexpectedly as he always used to do.
Kit pulled back and sniffled. “Anyway, there is some good news. Veronique is pregnant. She’s staying in Illinois permanently to live with them. She doesn’t want to be alone through this. She’s leaving the modeling industry and is going to focus on her art. She is coming into town in two days and wants to meet with us and Joe’s attorney.”
He frowned. “Huh? Why an attorney?”
Kit forced a grin. “Babe, we’re both in Joe’s will and Veronique is the executor along with the help of an attorney that Joe has had on retainer for a while. I know the guy. He works for my dad’s firm in Chicago and specializes in interstate probate matters.”
Sully’s eyes widened. “Joe had a will?”
She nodded. “Joe has had a will since he turned twenty-one and got his trust fund. His parents made it mandatory. Every time he acquired something new like a car or property, he’d amend it. And apparently, he amended it recently. He and Veronique were planning on moving out of the condo.”
Sully nodded. “I know. They were looking for a house. Something bigger that was super secure and would be good for the baby.”
