The spankings hurt terribly and she hated them with a passion, but the feeling she had afterward, while he was holding her in his arms comforting her, was very important to her. She knew without a doubt he was watching out for her, and he never wavered on that. That feeling did wonders for her. He had gotten her gradually to open up to him at their meetings, and he now understood more of the feelings she tried to keep hidden inside her.
It was apparent to him that while her parents loved her greatly, she saw the difference in the way they treated her versus Phil. She had always assumed, although subconsciously, that they preferred Phil, and that was why they spent time correcting him, and molding him for the future. Under their guidance she had watched her brother become a responsible young man, who went to college and now has a career. She assumed they never thought she was as capable as her brother, so there wasn't a need to prepare her for life's difficult challenges.
Derek was carefully and slowly building Kelli's confidence, rewarding her for her accomplishments. He was also realizing, though, that her parents had set specific boundaries for Phil, but those same boundaries didn't apply to her. While she said her friends were all jealous of her for that, inwardly she felt deprived. He could clearly see now that the rules he had set for her had been a very good thing. Although she had a little difficulty adjusting to them in the beginning, he gradually watched her thrive with the limits. She needed to know he cared enough to keep her from straying beyond those limits.
A prime example of that was when he told her she no longer had to text him before she left anywhere. One evening after they had worked on her psychology, he turned to look at her. "Kelli, I want to talk to you a few minutes about your rules."
She looked alarmed. "Did I forget one of them?"
"No," he assured her, "you're doing fine. That's what I want to talk about. You've been following all of them so well, I think it's time we can loosen up on some of them. I'd still like you to let me know when you leave home in the morning, but you don't have to text me when you leave the school for work or home or my office." He couldn't tell if her look was one of confusion or disappointment, but he went on to explain it further. "I'd still like you to let me know when you leave home, and when you arrive back home, but you don't have to worry about other times, unless you're going someplace different. If you're going shopping or out to have a cup of coffee with a friend, let me know, but for routine things, you don't need to contact me anymore."
"Okay," she said in a very unemotional tone.
He was confused. He meant this as a reward for doing a good job, but he got the impression she was disappointed. He reached out to pull her in for a hug. "Kelli, I've been very proud of you." That earned him a smile, but she still wasn't excited, as he expected.
The next morning, Thursday, he got her text before she left, as usual. Her next text, though, surprised him. It said, "Derek, I know you no longer care when I leave for work, and please don't get upset with me, but I just had to let you know. You can use that psychology you're so good at and explain to me how I feel later, but right now I just feel like I have to let you know I'm going to work. Sorry to bother you."
Derek was glad he had a little time between client visits so he could think about her text. First he sent his response, "Kelli, I love getting texts from you. Don't ever think it's a bother. We'll talk later tonight. Right now, have a good afternoon, and I'll pick you up after work." He then spent several minutes considering what to do next. He knew she was responding extremely well to having guidelines set for her, and even understood that those guidelines made her feel safe. He read her text over again, and was concerned that she felt he no longer cared. He wondered if she had feelings for him like he did her. If she did, maybe she felt he was pushing her away from him in some way.
That night after they finished studying for her psych quiz the next day, he approached the subject with her. "Kelli, I want to talk a little bit about your text today."
Her face dropped, and she looked at the floor. "I'm sorry about that. I don't know what I was thinking." She paused, then slowly raised her head to look at him. "Do you?"
He gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "Maybe. I have a couple ideas. First, though, I have to correct something you said. You said I no longer care when you leave for work. That's not true. I care about everything you do, Kelli, now more than when I put those rules in place."
He loved her reaction. She seemed relieved, and smiled at him brightly. He watched then as confusion settled over her face. "But you don't want me to text you anymore when I leave."
"Kelli, do you remember why I said I put those rules in place?"
She thought a minute before answering. "You said I need to get used to having rules, and having a lot of them would make me think before I do things."
"That's right. And the good news is that you are now thinking before you do things. As a reward for that, I'm no longer making it a rule, punishable with a spanking, but I'm certainly not saying you can't text me when you leave, or any other time."
Kelli impulsively reached over and put her arms around his neck and said, "Thank you, Derek. I thought you meant you didn't want me to bother you any more with so many texts."
"That's not what I meant at all," he assured her. "You're still welcome to text me anytime you want. You just won't be spanked anymore if you don't let me know when you leave anywhere other than home." He got more serious as he continued. "I still expect you to let me know when you leave home, as well as when you get home, however. If you leave without letting me know, or you're home safe without letting me know, you can most certainly still expect a trip over my knee. Understand, young lady?"
She was still smiling as she answered him. "I understand."
The next morning, he got a text when she was leaving, and he smiled. He didn't hear from her when it was time for her to go home, though, and assumed she was trying out her new freedom. He became concerned, though, when she hadn't texted him fifteen minutes after she should have gotten home. He wondered whether she was testing him, making sure he did indeed still care and was still looking out for her. Well, he would just have to prove to her that he did definitely care. If this was a test, he intended to pass it with flying colors. He decided he'd give her another fifteen minutes, then he was calling her.
He had his stern demeanor firmly in place when he called her. Testing him was equivalent to bratting in his book, and he intended to make it quite clear to her that he would have none of it. But when she didn't answer her phone, he became concerned. A call to Phil did nothing to ease his mind. Phil was planning on having dinner with Lisa, and hadn't heard anything from his sister, either.
Derek was already out the door and told Phil he'd call him when he got to their apartment. Phil knew Derek was concerned, as was he. Kelli had only failed to contact Derek one time. That was when she went for a walk without letting him know, and she had also failed to take a coat, umbrella and her phone. That was the most serious spanking he'd ever given her, and she hadn't forgotten to contact him since.
Phil and Lisa decided to go by the apartment and make sure Kelli was okay before they went to dinner. They arrived the same time Derek did, and all three hurried into her apartment, calling her name. But there was no response. A quick conversation between them revealed no possible explanation, and she was still not answering her phone. They were debating what to do, when she waltzed into the apartment, headphones in place. They all stood staring at her, while she swayed with the music, not even aware yet of their presence.
When she looked up, she froze. She took her headphones off and asked, "What's going on? Phil, I thought you and Lisa were going out for dinner. Derek, why would you be here?"
Derek was upset now. Her demeanor told him all he needed to know. She was definitely testing him, and she was about to regret that. Phil and Lisa instinctively gave her a hug. Phil asked, "Are you okay, Kelli? Where have you been?"
Before she could answer, Derek stepped in. His eyes met an
d held hers, and that confirmed his suspicions. He cleared his throat, which got everyone's attention. He gently removed their hands from her, replacing them with his own firm grip on her upper arm. "Kelli's fine, for the time being, anyway. Phil, Lisa, thank you for your concern, but you guys can go on and enjoy your evening now. Kelli and I have a few things we need to discuss." Derek saw the concerned look on Kelli's face and knew his stern expression was having the desired effect on her.
Phil also picked up on his demeanor, and although he wasn't sure what exactly happened, he knew his little sister had managed to do something to upset Derek and was in for quite an evening. He looked from Kelli to Derek and said, "Okay, we'll give you guys some privacy. We're going to dinner and a movie, and won't be back until late." Lisa was confused and resisting Phil's tug on her arm, but he took a firmer grip and said, "Come on, Lisa."
"But we don't even know what happened. Kelli, are you okay?"
Phil told her in a matter-of-fact tone, "I'm sure she'll tell you tomorrow where she's been, but right now we're going to dinner." He firmly led her out the door, despite her arguing.
As soon as the door closed, Derek locked it, and turned back to Kelli. He led her to the sofa, where he sat down, and plunked her down on the coffee table directly in front of him. "Okay, young lady, let's hear it."
She had a look on her face that Derek felt was a combination of shock, confusion, and fear. What he saw most, though, was defiance, and that he didn't like. "Hear what? Why are you so upset?"
"Kelli, don't play me. You have five seconds to start explaining, or I start spanking. One." Kelli met his eyes, but didn't say anything. "Two." She looked concerned now, but remained silent. "Three." He was determined. "Four."
"Okay, okay," she blurted out. "I'll talk."
"I'm waiting."
"I don't know what to say."
"Let's start with why you didn't call me."
"Because my phone died," she quickly explained. "I forgot to charge it."
He sighed. "There's a phone here you could have used to call me. Why weren't you home?"
"I guess I just forgot what I was doing. It was so nice out I went for a walk to enjoy the wonderful weather. I'm sorry."
That clinched it in Derek's mind. "Kelli, that's not what happened, and you know it. Now, in a few minutes here you're going over my knee, and you'll be getting a spanking I'm sure you'll remember for some time. Unless you want me to add an additional spanking for lying, which you know how I feel about, you better try that answer again. Why weren't you home?"
He watched her fidget and heard her mumble a couple things, but she finally looked up at him like a deer caught in the headlights. "I don't know," she said sincerely. "I've been confused all day."
Softening a little, he took one of her hands in his, and asked, "Then why didn't you come to me?"
"You weren't here."
"You know you could have called me."
"But you were at work."
"And if I was with a client at the time I would have told you when I'd call you back. I would have talked to you between clients, at least for a few minutes, and we could have made arrangements to meet and talk it all out."
"But it's my problem. I should handle it."
"Kelli, I've told you before, no one expects you to handle everything on your own. Your brother and I are here to help you. Did you talk to him?" She shook her head, and he continued. "So you made a choice, and that choice was to blow me off, along with my rules."
"But I didn't mean it that way."
"But that's in essence what it was. And you know your choices have consequences. Now, before you start one more argument with a 'but', get your butt over here. It's about to get a good spanking." He easily pulled her to her feet so she was standing between his knees. He quickly unbuttoned her jeans and pulled them down to her ankles. He then promptly lowered her down over his left knee, letting her support her upper body on the couch. When he had her situated comfortably, he hooked his thumbs in her panties and pulled them down to join her jeans at her ankles. She was squirming and wriggling more than normal, and he knew it was from nerves. This was going to be a serious spanking, and she knew it.
He laid his hand on her bottom. "Kelli, tell me why you think you're getting spanked."
She buried her face in the couch cushion, not saying anything. Two sharp swats brought her head back up quickly. "Kelli," he warned in a quiet but extremely stern voice, "you don't want to ignore my questions right now."
"I know," she reluctantly admitted. "I didn't come straight home, and I didn't call to tell you I was going someplace else."
"That's part of it," he agreed, starting the spanking. He continued until he was sure he had her attention, then paused, but kept his hand on her bare bottom. "Like I said, Kelli, that was part of why you're getting spanked. Why else are you in this position?"
He gave her a few moments to think, but when he got no answer, he gave her several more strong swats. "Think, Kelli. You know your rules. What else?"
She blurted out, "My phone. I didn't keep it charged and with me all the time."
"Much better," he said, as he resumed the spanking. He lectured during the spanking, this time about her safety and the importance of her keeping her phone in working condition and with her, especially while she walked to and from school.
He paused another time to allow her to catch her breath. She was crying now, and he knew her bottom felt like it was on fire, but he had one more important lesson he had to teach her. He once again kept his hand on her bottom, letting her know he wasn't done yet, and waited until her crying slowed enough for her to listen carefully. "Kelli, there's one more thing we need to talk about."
She started crying again, burying her face in the couch. He wanted desperately to take her in his arms and comfort her, but he knew he couldn't. She needed him to be strong and he knew it. He reminded himself that she was testing him, which meant she needed to know he would always be there for her. Steeling himself, he forged ahead. "Kelli, I need you to think, and answer these questions truthfully." She hiccupped, and took a deep breath, trying to pull herself together, obviously curious.
"Kelli, why did you go for a walk instead of coming home, and not call me first?"
Between hiccups she said, "I couldn't call because of my phone."
"No, honey, that's not true. You could have called from a pay phone, or gone home to call and tell me you were going for a walk. You're a smart lady, you could have called me if you wanted to. What is the real reason you didn't?"
"I don't know," she said, burying her face again.
Derek started spanking her again, increasing the force behind the smacks. "Think about it, Kelli. I think you do know." He knew she was suffering, but he wanted her to admit to herself what she was doing. He didn't think she was consciously testing him, but if she figured it out herself, there was much less chance she'd test him in the future.
He looked down at the adorable little lady flailing over his knee. She was yelling, pleading, fighting more than he realized a little imp could fight, but he tightened his grip on her and kept up the barrage of swats. "Why did you do that, Kelli?"
When he still got no response, he picked up the tempo a bit, along with the strength behind each smack. It wasn't long before she blurted out, "Because I had to be sure you were still here."
Derek immediately stopped spanking and started rubbing her bottom gently. He smoothed her hair with his hand and said, "Okay, Kelli, calm down, it's over." As soon as she caught her breath he very gently picked her up and settled her in his lap, making sure her bottom straddled his thighs, and wrapped his arms around her tightly. "Honey, I'm still here. I'll always be here for you, watching you." He kissed her hair, and she buried her face in his chest, crying harder.
"I'm sorry," she said between sobs.
"I know, sweetheart," he assured her, rubbing her back. "You're forgiven. Calm down now, and we're going to talk a little bit." She momentarily tensed, and he assured h
er, "No, I mean we'll actually talk. No more spanking." He felt her relax again, and had to smile a little. He rubbed her back gently, while he talked softly to her. He knew his voice was soothing to her as she calmed, so he kept talking quietly, assuring her while she calmed.
When she was down to a few sobs, he asked, "Are you able to talk a little bit, or do you need a nap first?"
She looked up at him with a look of respect. "How did you know how tired I am all of a sudden?"
"Honey, you just got one heck of a spanking. All the fighting and squirming and wriggling you did would wear anyone out, and that's not even mentioning the pain I know you're feeling about now." He watched her face turn that adorable shade of red, and she tried to hide her face in his chest again. He gently pulled her chin back to him, though, and said, "Kelli, you don't have anything to be embarrassed about. I'm proud of you for figuring out you were testing me, and admitting it not only to yourself, but to me. Thank you for that."
She smiled, but she also grimaced when she tried to move, and he caught her trying to stifle a yawn. He carefully picked her up and carried her into her bedroom, where he gently laid her on her bed, on her tummy. "You take a little nap now, honey." He leaned down and kissed her hair.
"But you said you wanted to talk."
"I do, but I want you awake when we do. You're exhausted right now. You take a nap and I'm going to get us some dinner in a little while. If you're still sleeping when I get back, I'll wake you up and we'll eat. Then we can talk." He smiled when she nodded her head and yawned again. "Sleep well, Kelli." He covered her gently with the blanket she had folded at the foot of her bed, and went back to the living room.
He sat back down on the couch, thinking about Kelli. It was getting harder and harder to keep denying his feelings for that little lady. He was a good probation officer, and although he'd been able to help Kelli, he knew he couldn't continue to be a good PO for her when he had these feelings for her. He knew what he had to do, but he also knew he didn't like the idea, and neither would she. But he hadn't been able to come up with any other possible solution, so it was time for him to take the bull by the horns and remedy the situation—whether either of them liked it or not.
On Probation Page 11
