by Arlene James
“Fawn and her family have been the dearest friends I’ve ever had,” Jackie said, smiling smugly.
Lucinda’s face colored. “My mistake. It’s just you’re so much closer to his age than... Well, it’s his birthday and...”
“And you’re so hot,” one of the boys said with a chortle.
Greg coughed, and Dixon made a strangling sound deep in his throat. Fawn didn’t know who was more embarrassed, her, Lucinda or Dixon. Her face burned so red that the room suddenly felt ten degrees warmer.
Glancing around blindly, her thoughts spinning, she said, “Excuse me. I think I forgot to set out drinks.”
She turned and walked into the kitchen, unaware that Dixon had followed until she abruptly stopped and he bumped into her. She knew instinctively that it was him, and her temper flared as hot as her embarrassment.
Jerking around, she speared him with an angry glare. “This is all your fault! You embarrassed us all! Shame on you, Dixon Lyons!”
She knew her anger was unreasonable. He hadn’t introduced her as his girlfriend. Apparently, he hadn’t mentioned her at all! And why should he? She was just his mother’s friend. Maybe she’d thought she was becoming his friend, too, but obviously her assumptions were as faulty as Lucinda Lyons’s. Except Lucinda’s were probably more reasonable.
Fawn realized how it must have seemed to everyone, and she realized, too, that what lay beneath her anger was a deep well of hurt that Dixon had never considered her as anything more than his mother’s friend.
While she couldn’t help wanting to be so much more.
Chapter Eight
Taken aback by Fawn’s anger, Dixon mentally reeled.
“Me?” he whispered back heatedly. “What did I do? I didn’t tell anyone you were my girlfriend.”
“You didn’t tell anyone anything, period! You didn’t tell them about me. You didn’t tell me or your mother that they were coming. What did you think that was going to accomplish?”
“I didn’t think!” he admitted, keeping his voice low. “If you must know, I’ve been reeling since the day I walked in and found you standing in my kitchen!” She sighed, and he immediately regretted those words. “That’s not your fault. None of this is your fault.”
“Then whose fault is it, Dixon? Your mom’s?”
“No. This current mess, tonight, is my fault. I was so nervous about it I didn’t handle any of it well. The rest is just...life, I guess.” He could blame his grandparents, but in their own way they’d done their best by him. He could blame his parents, but they’d been so young that their mistakes must surely be forgiven. He couldn’t help blaming himself in some ways, but there was so much he hadn’t known, and what good did it do? One thing was certain, though. “Absolutely none of it is your fault. And you have every reason to be mad at me.”
Sighing again, she smoothed a hand down his arm, as if smoothing ruffled feelings. She’d become such a large part of the household.
“I can’t be mad at you,” she was muttering. “It’s your birthday.”
She stood there, looking up at him through her lashes, and he found himself wondering why she wasn’t his girlfriend. Maybe she wouldn’t want to be, but he’d like her to be. Oh, yes, he would. In fact, if Bass flirted with her again, he was going to wind up busting his little brother’s nose. He grinned at the thought. Bass was no longer a helpless kid; he’d likely give as good as he got. How long had it been since they’d tussled? Well, it wasn’t going to be over this dark-haired beauty.
What would she do if he kissed her, really kissed her? He’d been wondering that a lot lately, but this was not the moment to find out. Soon, though. The idea was beginning to take up a remarkable amount of space in his thoughts and hopes.
“Let me help you get the drinks out,” he offered softly.
She nodded and gave him directions. As they carried everything into the dining area and placed them on the table, Dixon became aware of a strange quiet. Glancing around, he saw his brothers standing silently with their plates in their hands. Beyond them, his stepmother sat with Bella in her lap, while his father knelt on one knee in front of his mother.
Jackie and Greg held hands, and both bowed their heads as Greg softly led the three adults in prayer. Astounded, Dixon could only stare, such feelings coming over him that he momentarily felt paralyzed. It was as if the world slowly righted in that moment, as if some missing piece in the puzzle of his life carefully settled into place. After the prayer, Greg stretched up and kissed Jackie on the forehead, while Luci reached over and patted her knee and Jackie mopped her eyes. Dixon’s own eyes filled, and he knew then that God had given him everything he needed to take care of Bella and see that Jackie lived the rest of her life in joy, however long that might be. He looked at his mother and, to his shame, knew that if she had not been ill, he’d have turned her away. Yes, she had made poor choices, but who hadn’t?
Beside him, Fawn whispered, “Happy birthday.”
Swallowing back the tears, he slid his arm about her shoulders, pulling her into his side. She looped her own arm about his waist. He looked at his parents and his baby sister, his brothers standing in respect, the fire warming his hearth, the table laden with all his favorites and the Christmas lights twinkling on the tree. He felt the woman at his side, and thought this was the most perfect moment of his life. Then, in a blink, something surged through him.
It was as if the accounts had suddenly balanced in one part of his life and a new ledger had opened. Suddenly all was right in his old world, and he was ready for the new. He was ready for more. For her. Fawn. He looked down at the dark head of the woman at his side and knew she was exactly where she belonged, where he needed her.
One thing at a time, he told himself. Aloud he said, “Will you guys eat so I can have cake?”
His dad chuckled and pushed up to his feet. “Good idea.”
Fawn slipped away to fill a plate for Jackie and take Bella from Luci so she could eat. Dixon helped himself to the food and sat next to his mother, laughing and talking with his family, every vestige of discomfort banished. Fawn fed Bella then passed her to Jackie and ate her dinner before insisting that Dixon cut the cake. There were no candles to blow out, but Dixon didn’t mind.
Fawn made sure that everyone’s cup was kept filled, and when Bella fell asleep in her mother’s arms, Fawn put the baby to bed. Then, to his surprise, Jackie announced that she had something for him. Fawn produced two small packages. The first was a leather hatband with a turquoise cross twice as tall as the band itself.
He opened the second gift to find a finely tooled leather belt. Embedded in the back were the same turquoise stones in the shapes of his initials, with a small cross on each side. “These are amazing. Where did you get them?”
“Fawn did it,” Jackie announced.
“Only the stones, and I found them already set. I just embedded them in the leather of the belt, which we bought just as it is.”
“So you do leatherwork?” Luci asked, taking the belt and examining it.
“Sometimes.”
“This is very fine work.”
“It’s simple stuff.”
“We have a gift, too,” Greg said, nodding at Luci, who pulled a cardboard tube from her large bag and handed it to Dixon.
He tore away the paper and popped the end off the tube to pull out and unroll a magnetic film sign. When he held it up, the legend could clearly be read, “Lyons and Son Construction.”
“Dad?”
“We all agree you’ve earned it,” Greg said, nodding at Bass and Phil, “and when these two get older, if they want to come aboard, we’ll become Lyons and Sons. Plural. Meanwhile, you’re the junior partner.”
Dixon laughed. “Wow. Talk about your red-letter days.”
Jackie smiled up at him, looking tired and wan. “I’m s
o proud of you, son.”
“That makes all of us, then,” Greg announced. “Now, I think it’s time to go.”
As Fawn hurried off to bring everyone’s coats, Lucinda said she was going to have to talk to Fawn about an idea she had for an online leather goods store, and the boys wondered if they could get her to inlay belts for them.
A few moments later Greg asked Dixon, “Why don’t you bring Jackie, Fawn and the baby to church with you on Sunday?”
Dixon looked at his mom, who said nothing. “I’m not sure Mom’s up to it.”
“We could borrow a wheelchair from Wes Billings.”
“Why does Wes have a wheelchair?” Jackie asked.
“He had a real battle with cancer last year,” Dixon told her, “but he’s all right now.”
“I’m hearing that he’s dating our lady doctor,” Greg put in.
“Well, that’s fine,” Jackie said. “His wife’s been gone a long time. I’m happy for him.”
“With all his kids married and back home, I’m kind of surprised,” Luci remarked, “but I think it’s a good thing.”
“All three of the Billings kids are back here?” Jackie asked. “Oh, wow. I think I would like to go to church on Sunday, Dix,” she said just as Fawn returned with the coats.
“I’ll talk to Wes,” Greg said.
“We’ll get it done,” Dixon promised. Then he looked at Fawn, noted her approving smile and knew they’d all made great progress this night.
His dad had been right to suggest this, but Fawn had made it all happen. She’d made the whole day extraordinary. And now, with a junior partnership in the business and the ranch, maybe he was ready to take on more. He knew he could cope with Jackie and Bella now. As for Jackie, that was truly in God’s hands. Now all he needed was the courage to reach for what he wanted. Did he dare?
Suddenly, his father’s words ran through his head.
Those who are blessed enough to keep their first love for a lifetime are blessed indeed.
Some things, Dixon decided, smiling down at Fawn, were worth the risk. Maybe, just maybe, this would be a very merry Christmas, after all.
* * *
Wes Billings showed up at the house late Thursday afternoon with a wheelchair and one Dr. Alice Shorter, a curvy, middle-aged blonde who clutched his arm and beamed up at him as if he’d hung the moon. Fawn thought he was certainly tall enough to have done so. Jackie teased him about his white hair then told him how happy she was that he’d beaten cancer.
“It takes five years to proclaim a cure,” Dr. Shorter pointed out.
Billings patted her hand affectionately. “Alice is still learning how faith works.”
“Alice is a doctor who has protocols to follow,” she retorted. “But I trust that in four more years I’ll be proclaiming him cured.”
Billings grinned and hugged her before changing the subject. “You know, Jackie, when I was ill, the elders of the church laid hands on me and prayed for me. Would you like that? It can be arranged for Sunday. It seems a fitting thing to do on Christmas Eve.”
“I’d like that very much.”
“I’ll take care of it. Now, will you let Alice examine you?”
“Gladly. I brought my medical records with me, by the way.”
Dr. Shorter took her time studying the file and examining Jackie while Fawn served Wes coffee in the kitchen. Afterward, Dr. Shorter changed a couple of Jackie’s medications and set her up for a test and an office appointment the week after Christmas. She called the others back into the room as she examined Bella, then pronounced her healthy and adorable, before saying to Jackie, “You took your life into your own hands by bringing her into this world.”
“I believe God will honor that,” Wes said. “Only He knows why or how He chooses to heal, or why or how He chooses to prolong life, but I believe with all my heart that He will honor your decision to risk your life in order to give life to your daughter.”
“He already has,” Jackie told him, smiling. “In ways I could barely imagine.”
Fawn knew that Jackie was thinking of Dixon, who seemed so much more relaxed and happy since his birthday on Wednesday. He was so effortlessly affectionate with Jackie lately Fawn doubted he even realized what he was doing, but Jackie was blooming. Fawn had to restrain herself to keep from hugging him for it.
As if summoned by her thoughts, Dixon pulled up in his pickup truck with the new signs attached to the doors, parked and came into the house to shake hands with Wes and Dr. Shorter.
“I hear you’re going to be a grandpa again.”
“Any day now,” Wes confirmed, beaming. “Meri says Stark is the calmest father-to-be on earth. Of course, he’s a doctor himself, albeit an animal doctor, and he’s been through this before, though, sadly, he lost his first wife and daughter in a car wreck.”
“That’s tough. He sure seems happy now.”
“Babies are something to be happy about,” Jackie said, juggling Bella, who had recently learned to grab noses.
“Yeah, they sure are,” Dixon agreed, smiling down at the two of them. “Thanks so much for coming out,” Dixon said, shaking hands again, “and we’ll see you on Sunday.”
After they left Fawn explained about the new prescription. Dixon promised to take care of it the next day then said he had some work to do after dinner. He washed up, but didn’t shower before he sat down to the table, and as soon as he finished his meal, he announced that he’d be in the barn.
Fawn cleaned up the kitchen, saw to it that the baby was fed and down for the evening, watched TV with Jackie for a while then helped her friend into bed, and still Dixon had not returned to the house. She called her grandmother, reporting that things seemed to be settled there. Dixon had a support system in his father’s family and had formed deep bonds with his mother and sister. She couldn’t believe that he would not step up in a big way to make a home and take care of Jackie and Bella. He was going to have to hire some help, but that shouldn’t be an insurmountable hurdle.
“So, Mamalis, you will speak to him about this, and then you will come home. Yes?”
Yes. That was the natural progression. So why was she putting off the conversation?
“It won’t get easier if you put it off,” her grandmother counseled quietly, as if reading her mind.
“I know, Grandmother. You’re right. I’ll speak to him tonight.”
“Perhaps we will see you for Christmas, after all.”
The bottom seemed to drop out of Fawn’s stomach. “Perhaps.”
She missed her grandmother and her sister, but less than she had expected to. It was easy to see why. She had been so busy, and Jackie and Bella had become family to her. And her foolish heart had loved where it should not.
* * *
The sandpaper rasped swiftly over the walnut, smoothing and highlighting the grain of the wood. He’d carved a rose into the top. With different colors of stain, he’d detail it, make it stand out beautifully.
The animals shifted, warning him that he was about to have company just before the door opened and Fawn stepped in on a gust of cold air. He glanced around to be sure that what needed to be covered was. For good measure, as Fawn drew near he reached over and dropped a boxed teddy bear onto the bench seat top of the toy box he’d built for Bella.
“Can we talk?”
“Sure.” He smiled, unable to hide his pleasure at seeing her. “What’s up?”
“Am I right in thinking that you’ve made up your mind to let Jackie stay and raise Bella yourself?”
He dusted his hands and started brushing his clothes. “You know I have.” Oh, why be embarrassed or disingenuous about it? “It’s not just the right thing to do, it’s what I want to do.”
Fawn smiled. “Good. Good. You must realize then that you’re going to have to hire
someone to help out around here permanently.”
“I’ve been thinking about that.” And her. Who better to take care of things around here? And the arrangement had the added benefit of keeping her right where he wanted her. He hadn’t thought of paying her, but why not, at least in the short-term?
She bit her lip then said, “That’s good. Okay, then.” She tilted her head, looking past him to the temporary worktable he’d set up. “What’s that?”
He stepped aside, inviting her to peruse his work. She looked at the top first and then the box.
“Mom has a photo album that’ll fit right here,” he explained, touching a space within the rosewood box, “and the larger area is for whatever else she wants to put inside.”
“A memory box.”
“That’s right.”
“It’s beautiful.”
Pleased, he had to tuck his hands into his back pockets to keep from reaching for her. “I haven’t stained it, but that won’t take long.”
“And a toy box!” she exclaimed, shifting her focus. “You built that, too?”
“That’s what carpenters do. Bella’s not old enough to appreciate it yet, but there’s a rattle in the box with the bear, and the rest is ready when she needs it.”
“It’s perfect. All of it.”
“I’m glad you think so. Because if you do, Mom will.”
“No doubt of it.” Fawn turned and strode toward the door, only to turn and say, “I was so worried at first, but you’ve really stepped up, Dixon. I’m so pleased I could...” She threw up her hands, declaring, “I could kiss you!”
He relaxed back against the worktable, trying not to betray the sudden pounding of his heart. “So what’s stopping you?”
She blinked at him, as if trying to figure out exactly what he’d said, maybe what she’d said. Then her eyes grew round, and he could see how she caught her breath, but she didn’t turn and run. She just stood there, her fingers opening and closing while she apparently debated how to do this or whether to do this. When she took a single step forward, he decided that was signal enough and walked toward her, clasping her face in his hands and turning it up to his.
