by Steve Shreve
Text and illustrations copyright © 2009 by Steve Shreve
All rights reserved
Amazon Publishing
Attn: Amazon Children's Publishing, PO Box 400818, Las Vegas, NV 89140
www.amazon.com/amazonchildrenspublishing
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Shreve, Steve.
The adventures of Benny / by Steve Shreve. — 1st ed.
p. cm.
Summary: A resourceful young boy's adventures introduce him to a host of characters, including Bigfoot, a mummy, pirates, monkeys, and his very own Booger-Man.
ISBN 978-0-7614-5575-2
[1. Adventure and adventurers—Fiction. 2. Characters in literature—Fiction.] I. Title.
PZ7.S559149Adv 2009
[Fic]—dc22
2008054847
The illustrations were rendered in pencil and inked in Photoshop.
Book design by Anahid Hamparian
Editor: Marilyn Mark
First edition
1 3 5 6 4 2
Contents
Chapter 1: Bigfoot
or The value of a smelly friend
Chapter 2: The Mummy
or Another great use for Toilet Paper
Chapter 3: Pirates
or The Truth about life on the high seas
Chapter 4: The Booger-Man
or A good Argument for not picking your nose
Chapter 5: Monkey Island
or The Advantage of opposable Thumbs
chapter 1
Bigfoot
or
The value of
a smelly friend
Benny woke up early one morning. He packed a baloney sandwich, a fresh pair of underpants, and clean socks—because you never knew when a pair of clean socks or underwear might come in handy.
Benny picked up his fishing pole and lunch basket and headed through the woods to the old fishin’ hole.
He walked...
...and walked...
...and walked...
until he spotted something in the dirt.
Footprints! And these weren’t just any footprints, but the biggest footprints Benny had ever seen—they were even bigger than his dad’s!
Whoever made these tracks must be HUMONGOUS, Benny thought. And wherever they led, Benny knew it was sure to be more exciting than the fishin’ hole.
So Benny set off again—this time to find out where those giant footprints led.
He was following the strange footprints when suddenly...
a great howl rose up from deep inside the forest!
Just then, Benny heard the sound of something crashing through the trees and a shrill cry—“Ouch!”
The cry got louder! “Ouch, ouch!”
And closer! “Ouch, ouch, OUCH!”
And then something came lumbering forward out of the dense, dark underbrush....
“Hi, I’m Bigfoot,” said Bigfoot, clutching his butt. He didn’t look all that scary, even though he towered over Benny.
“I’m Benny,” said Benny. “What were you hollerin’ about? Are you okay?”
“I was walking through the woods and sat down on an old log to rest,” explained Bigfoot. “Now I’ve got a big splinter stuck in my hiney, and I can’t get it out!”
“Ow,” said Benny. “That looks like it hurts. Maybe I can help.”
Benny grabbed the splinter and pulled hard, but it wouldn’t budge.
He pulled harder, but still—nothing.
Benny planted his feet, got a better grip, and pulled with all his might.
POP!
The splinter came out so fast that both Benny and Bigfoot went flying.
“Thanks a lot,” said Bigfoot.
“You’re welcome,” said Benny. “Say, all of that work made me pretty hungry—do you want to share my baloney sandwich?”
They found a couple of logs (without splinters) and sat down to eat.
Benny looked over at Bigfoot.
“You don’t have a nose,” said Benny. “How do you smell?”
“Terrible,” replied Bigfoot.
“I see,” said Benny. “Well, that’s a relief. I thought the baloney sandwich had gone bad.” He chewed for a moment. “And by the way, don’t you get cold running around the forest with no clothes on?”
“Well,” said Bigfoot, “my hair keeps me pretty warm. My feet get cold sometimes, though.”
Benny opened up his basket and pulled out the extra pair of clean socks he had packed that morning. “Try these on. They’re tube socks.”
“Wow, these are warm!” said Bigfoot. “I never had a pair of socks before.”
“One more thing,” Benny said, reaching into the basket.
“Underpants!” exclaimed Bigfoot.
“They might not keep you warm,” Benny said, “but they’ll help protect you from splinters.”
After they finished the baloney sandwich, Benny got ready to leave for the fishin’ hole. “It was nice meeting you, Bigfoot,” he said.
“You, too, Benny,” said Bigfoot. “But before you go, I should warn you—these woods are pretty dangerous. You gotta be really careful.”
“Sure,” replied Benny. And with that, Benny said good-bye and continued on his way.
It turned out Bigfoot was right. Because up ahead, hiding behind a tree, waiting for Benny to get just a little bit closer was a wolf.
“DINNER!” the wolf snarled as he leaped out from behind the tree.
Benny froze in fear! But only for a second. “Yikes!” he yelled and ran into the woods.
The wolf raced after him—and he was closing in fast! Benny felt the wolf’s hot breath on the back of his neck as he got closer, and closer, and closer.
And then the wolf snatched Benny up!
He popped Benny into an itchy burlap sack and threw it over his shoulder.
“Hey!” shouted Benny. “Where are you taking me?”
“To my cave deep in the woods,” said the wolf.
“What for?” asked Benny.
“I’m making stew,” replied the wolf. “And my sensitive nose tells me you’d make the perfect addition. You smell just like baloney—my favorite.”
When they arrived at the wolf’s cave, the wolf dumped Benny into a big pot of water.
The wolf added celery, carrots, a potato, half an onion, two cloves of garlic, and a little salt and pepper.
“You stay right there,” the wolf said. “I’m going out back to get some firewood so we can get cooking.”
But when the big, bad wolf reached the cave’s entrance, something was blocking the way.
Bigfoot!
“Hey, wolf,” said Bigfoot. “I’ve got something for you!”
WHAP! Bigfoot’s right sock hit the wolf square in the face.
“Oh gross!” cried the wolf. “It smells like...Gorgonzola cheese!”
Even though Bigfoot had only been wearing the socks a little while, he did have very smelly feet.
And, as the wolf said, he had a sensitive nose.
Before the wolf could recover, Bigfoot’s left sock struck the wolf. WHAP!
“BLEEARGH!” cried the wolf. “Too...stinky. Can’t...breathe—everything...going dark.”
The wolf held his nose, staggered back a few steps, and passed out.
“Thanks, Bigfoot!” said Benny, climbing out of the pot. “Sorry about your new socks, though.”
“That’s okay,” replied Bigfoot. “They were a little itchy anyway. So, are you still going fishing?”
“I’m afraid I lost my fishing pole when the wolf caught me,” Benny said.
“Maybe I can help you find it,” Bigfoot offered.
“That’s OK, I’m saving up for a new one anyway—an
d it’s getting late.”
Benny shook Bigfoot’s hand and said good-bye. And this time he was extra careful as he walked through the woods.
chapter 2
The Mummy
or
Another great
use for
Toilet paper
Benny’s trip to Egypt was a long one. He had traveled by plane, train, two buses, and was now riding a smelly old camel with bad breath into the desert. He couldn’t wait to help his uncle Howard, an archaeologist, excavate a mummy for the local museum back home.
When Benny finally arrived, he hopped off the camel. “Hi, Uncle Howard.”
“Benny!” his uncle called out. “I hope you’re ready to get to work!”
“Work?” Benny asked.
“Work,” answered Uncle Howard.
Uncle Howard wasted no time in loading Benny up with a big backpack full of heavy excavation gear—shovels, a pickax, a crowbar, rope, and a roll of toilet paper, because you never know when a roll of toilet paper might come in handy.
Soon, Benny found himself trudging off into the hot desert in search of an ancient pyramid.
After many hours of walking, they came to a stop.
“Here we are!” bellowed Uncle Howard.
“This is it?” Benny asked. “It’s not very big.”
“Don’t let looks deceive you,” replied his uncle.
Benny helped his uncle pry open the stone door with the crowbar, and they stepped into the darkness.
Uncle Howard turned on a flashlight and led them down a flight of stairs. He swung the light around the basement room until it settled on a sarcophagus in the corner. Uncle Howard lifted the heavy lid and moved it to the side.
“Eureka! We have discovered the long-lost tomb of King Butthankhamen,” Uncle Howard announced. “Better known to the world as King Butt!”
“He looks like a King Butt,” Benny agreed. “Hey—what’s that pinned to his chest?”
“I say! It looks like some sort of note,” said Uncle Howard.
Uncle Howard unpinned the note and explained that it was written in ancient hieroglyphics. He began to decipher the message.
“Beware!” he read. “Whoever disturbs this tomb will invoke the wrath of King Butthankhamen and be cursed to—”
Uncle Howard stopped.
“Cursed?” Benny shouted. “Cursed to what?”
“I can’t tell,” his uncle replied. “There’s some sort of large, brown stain covering the rest.”
“Blecch,” said Benny. “It’s not his brains, is it? I heard they used to pull a mummy’s brains out through his nose when they were mummifying him.”
“Don’t be silly,” Uncle Howard said. “His brains are in that jar over there. It’s probably just his spleen or something.”
“Oh,” said Benny. “That’s not so bad, I guess.”
Suddenly, the door at the top of the stairs closed with a great CRASH!
“Oh, bother,” said Uncle Howard. “I do believe we’re trapped.”
“It’s the curse!” said Benny.
“Nonsense,” said Uncle Howard. “There’s no such thing as a—”
Uncle Howard was cut off by a scraping sound behind them. Together, they slooowly turned around.
“Gadzooks!” exclaimed Uncle Howard. “It’s the mummy!”
King Butt staggered forward.
“Run, Benny!” Uncle Howard cried.
Benny ran, but with the exit sealed, there was no hope of escape.
If I can’t get out, Benny thought, I’ll have to stop that mummy.
Benny ran up behind King Butt, grabbed a loose bandage, and tied it to a large piece of fallen stone.
But Benny hadn’t counted on the mummy’s strength.
The large rock didn’t even slow King Butt down. He just kept moving toward Uncle Howard as his bandages began to unravel.
Then, Benny got an even better idea.
“Hey!” Benny yelled. “Your shoelace is untied!”
King Butt looked down.
Benny and his uncle Howard sprinted down the tunnel—farther into the pyramid.
They ran through a maze of corridors and stopped to rest around a bend.
“I don’t hear anything,” Benny noted. “Maybe he left.”
They carefully peeked around the corner.
The mummy was still far away, but he was slowly moving toward them.
“Wow,” said Benny. “I thought he’d be faster.”
“He is four thousand years old, you know,” replied Uncle Howard. “But...he’ll catch up eventually.”
“So what do we do now?” asked Benny.
Uncle Howard looked around. “Quick—into this little room,” he ordered.
They went into a room off the corridor and quietly pulled the door closed behind them.
“It sure is dark in here,” Benny observed.
Uncle Howard lit a match. “Not to worry you,” he said, “but we’re not alone in this room.”
Benny looked around. “Aaah!” he shouted. “Snakes!”
They started back toward the door, but it was too late—they heard a noise outside.
“Now what?” asked Benny. “King Butt has caught up to us!”
“Oh, I wouldn’t worry too much about him,” said Uncle Howard. “The snakes will probably finish us off long before he gets in.”
Fortunately, most of the snakes weren’t poisonous. Keeping the snakes from crawling into their socks was the worst Benny and his uncle Howard had to deal with.
After a while, they even stopped worrying about King Butt. The mummy was so busy pushing on the door to get in that he never thought to try pulling it.
Benny and his uncle had one new problem, though—after all of that running, they were starting to feel a little hungry.
“You know,” said Benny, “maybe we could solve our hunger problem and keep those pesky snakes out of our socks.”
“What do you mean?” asked Uncle Howard.
“Let’s build a fire and cook ’em!”
“Great idea, Benny, my boy,” said Uncle Howard. He pulled a box of matches out of his shirt pocket.
It wasn’t too long before they were enjoying a nice, hot snake dinner.
“Not too bad, once you get used to the taste,” said Uncle Howard.
“And the chewiness,” added Benny.
After a few more snakes, Benny and his uncle Howard were starting to feel at home. But just as they got comfortable, they heard King Butt pulling the door open.
“Uh-oh,” said Benny.
King Butt entered the small room. He was almost completely unraveled now and didn’t look too happy about it.
“This is it,” said Uncle Howard. “I’m afraid it’s the curse for us.”
“Oh, well. We were almost out of snakes anyway,” said Benny.
Step by plodding step, the mummy drew closer.
Benny could barely watch as King Butt approached him. Then the mummy reached out, grabbed his underpants, and YANKED!
“Aaaah!” Benny yelled. “Wedgie!”
Uncle Howard was no luckier. “My underpants!” he bellowed.
The curse now fulfilled, King Butt just stood there.
“What do we do now?” said Benny.
“I don’t know,” replied his uncle. “The museum will never stand for an unraveled mummy.”
“Yeah,” agreed Benny. “He looks like a piece of beef jerky.”
Benny and Uncle Howard tried their best to rewrap King Butthankhamen, but it was no use—his bandages were completely ruined.
“We’ll have to bring him like this,” said Uncle Howard with a sigh.
“Wait a minute,” Benny said, “didn’t we pack a roll of toilet paper before we left?”
Uncle Howard considered this for a moment. “It’s worth a try, I suppose.”
