“You’re lucky in more ways than you can imagine.” Stormy emotion tightened his features. “I could have lost you, Katie.”
“You barely know me.” Clearly this wasn’t exactly true, and she was pretty sure he already knew that she’d caught on. A surge of courage emboldened her to challenge him to be honest. “Why do you care?”
Rafe averted his eyes and held out his hand. “Let me see the other bite.”
She extended her bent leg, suppressing the urge to whimper when he cradled her ankle and guided it beneath the water. To hell with waiting for Rafe to come clean. If he wasn’t going to come out and address his big revelation, she would. “You told that—“ She paused, hesitant to offend him with her labeling of his brethren. “What do you call yourselves?”
“Just call him a wolf. That’s all he was. A mean-ass wolf.”
Beneath the cold judgment in Rafe’s eyes lurked a hint of shame—for his own kind, she assumed. He was obviously made of different stuff than those animals in the woods, or even his friend, Cooper, who’d urged him to let her die. But why did Rafe care about her seemingly worthless human life when none of the other wolves did? What set him apart? She sensed that it had everything to do with the answer to her next question. “You told that wolf that I was your bond-mate. What did you mean?”
Pain and sorrow radiated from his tense frame. “It’s…complicated.”
“Yes, it does sound complicated.” Katie waited a beat, then said, “Tell me. Please.”
Rafe rattled her with a look of genuine fear. “You were so cold, Katie. So cold. And unresponsive.” He continued to cradle her ankle as he spoke. “You were dying—and I had to do something. So I just…followed my instinct.”
“What did you do?”
He exhaled slowly. “I warmed you just like I did a few minutes ago. I took off my shirt and got beneath the blankets with you, then held you while I focused all my energy on raising your body temperature with mine. And it worked.” Guilt tightened his features. “But something happened. Something I didn’t expect.”
Enough with the build-up. She needed to know. “Rafe—”
His next words came out in a rush. “We bonded. I had no idea it would happen—that it even could happen. It’s rare enough for two werewolves to bond, so I never imagined that it would be possible for me to do it with a human.”
“We bonded?” Katie wrestled with disbelief as he turned off the faucet and opened the drawer beneath the sink. She had no idea why it would be a struggle to accept the concept of bonding souls on a night when she’d seen men transform into wolves, but her logical mind rebelled at the idea. She wasn’t even sure what it meant. “Explain what that involves. Please.”
He avoided her eyes as he uncapped a tube of antibiotic ointment and began spreading it over her wounds. “It means our souls are connected.”
She waited for more. When he didn’t elaborate, she huffed in exasperation. “And?”
“When you hurt, I feel pain.” His fingers glided over her skin, so very careful. “When we’re together, I’m whole. And when we’re apart, we’ll both…feel that loss. Acutely.”
Katie couldn’t wrap her mind around what Rafe was telling her. When she hurt, he felt pain? Did that go both ways? “What do you mean, we’ll feel the loss? How?”
“It’s my understanding that separation will mean tremendous suffering for both of us. But I can’t say for certain…I’ve never experienced it before.” Rafe shook his head and closed his eyes, pausing in his movements. “I’m so sorry. If I’d known…”
“You would have let me die?” In saving her, he’d fundamentally altered the course of her life. Right now she wasn’t certain whether she was better off alive. “Why didn’t you? You could have easily left me in my car. As far as I can tell, the rest of your kind would’ve. Either that or made me into a meal.”
Rafe lifted his shoulder in a vague shrug. “I couldn’t.” He met her eyes, sending another shiver through her. Even if her brain wasn’t sure about the idea of souls bonding, her body obviously recognized him. More than that, wanted him. She was pretty sure she should be furious about this bonding thing, if only she could focus on the repercussions and not the strange-yet-familiar touch of his strong hands. “I…value life.”
“Even human life?” It was either laugh or cry, and luckily she still felt capable of the former. “I’m nothing more than a piece of meat out here.” Her levity quickly dissolved into tears. “Am I?”
“The full moon is tomorrow night. That’s why it’s so dangerous for you right now. More than it might normally be.”
Katie wiped away a tear, not wanting to look weak. She refused to fall apart over this, no matter how dire the situation seemed. “What’s so special about the full moon? It seems like you guys turn into wolves whenever you want.”
Rafe nodded. “We can, but the moon forces us to shift. And for a day or two before and after, its energy gets us hyper-aroused. Puts us into hunting mode. For some of us that means going on longer runs than normal. For others, it’s an excuse to engage in a little unchecked brutality.”
“Terrific.”
“As far as I know, I’ve never killed anyone on one of those nights.” His jaw tightened. “But the reality is, I’m not in my head when the moon is full. None of us are. That’s why Cooper was concerned that I could harm you.” He flexed his fingers on her ankle, a gentle squeeze. “But I won’t. I don’t honestly believe I could.”
“You don’t believe you could,” Katie echoed, stomach rolling. “And yet before you met me, you had no idea that this bonding thing could even happen the way it did. So what the hell do you know?”
“I know that I will die before I let anyone hurt you.” Rafe couldn’t even look at her, despite his heartfelt words. “And I know that tomorrow night, I’m locking you in this cabin with Shilah, a gun, and strict orders to shoot anything that comes inside.” He paused. “Including me.”
Great. She hadn’t held a gun in years, let alone shot at a living creature with the intention of killing it. While she wouldn’t hesitate to defend herself against the mouthy gray wolf who’d bitten her tonight and others like him, she was pretty sure there was no way she could ever knowingly hurt Rafe. The thought—errant, instinctive, true—pissed her off. “You said that if I hurt, you feel pain. If we’re apart, we’ll both feel the loss.” She pinned him with a hard look. “So how, exactly, am I supposed to shoot you?”
He gently dabbed the last of the ointment on her calf. “It won’t come to that.”
“No, of course not. Because I’m your goddamn bond-mate.”
His shoulders stiffened and he actively avoided making eye contact. “Yes.”
The enormity of that concept flooded her with fresh panic. What did this mean? She couldn’t exactly leave her life in San Francisco to be with a werewolf who lived in a cabin in the middle of scary, werewolf-infested woods. It wasn’t like she loved him—no matter what her heart and body kept telling her. “Okay, I can see the advantage of our connection if you think it’ll protect me from you tomorrow night. But after that, how do we undo it? How do we break the bond?”
“We don’t.” The words sounded hollow. “It’s done.”
Though she’d expected him to say as much, Katie’s anger swelled. “So, what, I’m supposed to want to be with you now? You take off my clothes, cuddle with me in bed while I’m unconscious, and suddenly you’re my soulmate? Without my consent?”
“I said I’m sorry.” Rafe’s voice turned gruff, as though he was holding back his own torrent of emotion. “I don’t know what to tell you. I don’t expect you to stay with me—in fact, I don’t expect anything from you. What I said before still stands. Once the road clears, I’ll take you to town. What you do after that is your choice. I’m not going to force you into something you don’t want.”
His kindness only stoked the fire of her fury. “Well, great. Except according to you, if I leave, it’ll devastate both of us.”
He stared
at her with a blank expression. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
She didn’t either. All she knew was that she’d nearly died tonight, again, and she was apparently connected forever to a werewolf she barely knew. And according to him, leaving him would break both their hearts. That was if leaving was even an option, now that she had an entire forest full of werewolves out to get her. She dropped her head into her hands and exhaled. “I guess…I want you to say this is all a bad dream.”
“I wish it were.”
Katie sniffled, knowing she must seem pathetic but too overwhelmed to care. She wanted to scream at Rafe, maybe even hit him, but that required energy she didn’t have. At least her legs didn’t hurt anymore. Which seemed…odd. She peeked through her spread fingers at her calves, still cradled in Rafe’s large hands. “The pain is gone.”
“Good.” Rafe released her and stood. “Let me know if it starts to bother you again.”
She touched the area next to the more severe bite mark, confused by the lack of sensation. Just minutes ago she’d been in agony. All Rafe had done was flush her wounds and cover them with antibiotic lotion. He’d given her nothing for the discomfort. At least nothing she could see. “Why? What did you do?”
His shoulders tensed as he washed his hands. “I sent you some healing energy. Or at least I tried. I’m hoping it helped.”
Healing energy. Wasn’t that what had caused their predicament in the first place? “Don’t do that again. What if you make it worse?”
“Your wounds? I won’t.”
“No, the…bond.” Katie didn’t want to admit how nice it was not to hurt anymore—not when the price was eternal devotion to a man she knew nothing about. A man whose friends wanted her dead. “You say we can’t undo it, but maybe there’s a way. And if there is, I’m pretty sure it starts with you keeping your damn hands off me.”
Rafe flinched. “I apologize. I was only trying to help.”
“Well, I’ve had enough of your help.” She struggled to her feet, then shot out a hand to brace herself against the wall. She was so tired she could barely stand. “What was the deal before? I stay in the guest room, shut the door, and you won’t bother me?”
Jaw tight, Rafe stared straight ahead. “Yup. That was the deal.”
“Great.” Katie moved to leave, then froze when Rafe caught her by the wrist. She jerked away from him, glaring. “I said don’t touch me.”
He stepped into her personal space but stopped short of making contact. “The other part of the deal is that you pull the curtains closed as soon as you get in there, you go straight to bed, and you let me know if you need to leave the room for any reason—even if it’s only because you have to pee.”
Katie deflated as the power of suggestion awakened her bladder. “Actually, I do. Need to pee.”
Rafe edged past her and out the bathroom door. “I’ll put Shilah in your room. He stays with you from now on. Always.”
“Fine.” Her problem wasn’t with Shilah—and she didn’t want to be alone, anyway.
“Good night.” He didn’t even look at her as he shut the door. When he left the room, it was as though all the air left with him.
Katie felt the loss.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Lying in bed after washing up, Katie mused that the worst part about being mad at Rafe was how hard it was to stay mad. Once again warm beneath his comforter, surrounded by his masculine scent and protected by his faithful dog, she struggled not to succumb to the urge to go to him. The seductive pull of his comforting presence only a room away kept her from tumbling into much-needed sleep. Her body hummed with desire, a buzzing awareness that true peace and satisfaction was hers for the taking. All she had to do to find it was seek out her bond-mate and let him fill up all the emptiness inside her. Here, she was scared and lonely. With Rafe, she would be whole.
“Damn him,” Katie whispered. She didn’t want to need him. It wasn’t fair that she did. Based on his dark good looks alone, she would date Rafe in a heartbeat. But love him? A werewolf? One who lived in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by other, murderous werewolves? He wasn’t exactly her dream guy.
And yet she had to will herself not to crawl into bed with him. She was exhausted but every time she closed her eyes she saw those wolves—those naked men—and felt their teeth and hands all over her body. Unable to sleep, she had nothing to do except stare at the moon’s glow creeping in beneath the curtain, and worry. How many more were out there? Did the rest of the pack know about the one Rafe had killed? Were they coming to exact revenge at this very moment?
She really would feel better with Rafe next to her.
No. Katie closed her eyes, determined to stay in her own bed. She was mad at Rafe, after all. He’d married their souls, for lack of a better term, while she was unconscious. He’d probably ruined her for any other man. That meant he’d also ruined her chance for a normal life, with kids and family vacations and 401k retirement plans. What was she supposed to do now? Move to the middle of nowhere? Or perhaps they could they find a little apartment in the city. One with enough room to build a giant cage to contain Rafe during his “time of the month”. Katie smiled despite herself. How would she manage a relationship with a werewolf?
“Stop it.” Katie kept her voice too low for anyone but Shilah to hear. “You won’t. You can’t.” She took a deep, measured breath, then exhaled. “Besides, I hate him.” She knew that was a lie—a huge lie, actually—but it helped fan the flames of her dwindling anger to say the words. “I hate him.”
Beside her, Shilah sighed. She was pretty sure he didn’t believe it, either.
A low growl pulled Katie out of fitful sleep. Her eyes snapped open and she battled momentary disorientation before she remembered where she was. She sat up, then froze at the sight of Shilah crouched at the foot of the bed. His fur was raised in a line down his back, his tail held rigidly at attention. Holding her breath, she followed Shilah’s gaze to the curtained window. It was still dark outside. She was beginning to feel like this night would never end.
Katie’s heart pounded when Shilah growled again. The last thing she wanted to do was search for some sign of movement outside, but she couldn’t look away. The curtain swayed lightly, caught in a subtle draft, revealing bare glimpses of moonlit sky and snow-covered trees. She could barely stand to watch, afraid that a shadow would pass across the window and literally frighten her to death. Just as the thought occurred to her, a muted howl arose from somewhere in the distance. Her breathing hitched as adrenaline surged through her body.
She needed to go to Rafe. Now.
Slipping out of bed, Katie nearly made it to the door before she stopped, conflicted. A howl outside didn’t mean they were in danger. Of course there were more wolves in the woods—some of them were even Rafe’s friends. If she went running to him now, it was as good as forgiving him. And she wasn’t ready to do that. Not yet. Not unless she absolutely had to.
She turned and studied Shilah’s body language. He was still on high alert, attention fixed on the window. Katie took a deep breath, then crossed the room to stand at his side. She put her hand on his head and stared at the window with him. As quietly as she could, she murmured, “What do you hear, boy?”
He uttered a soft half-bark and growled once more. Then he took a few cautious steps forward, planting himself squarely in front of the window. Before she could stop him, Shilah poked his nose beneath the curtain and peered outside. Time stood still as she waited for chaos to erupt. But nothing stirred, and at length she released a shaky breath. A lazy tail wag from Shilah relaxed her further, though she wasn’t about to let her guard down. There was no way she was getting back to sleep now. All the exhaustion she’d felt earlier was gone. Her entire body crackled with nervous energy. Like any good prey animal, her fight or flight instincts were on high alert.
Rafe wouldn’t be upset if she woke him. She knew that. He wanted to protect her and if she allowed him to do so, he would give his life for hers.
She was certain of that not because of what he’d told her about their bond, but because she could feel it deep in her soul. He would die for her. All she had to do was ask.
“No.” Katie straightened and took a tentative step closer to the window. She had some self-respect, didn’t she? Even after what those wolves had done to her, she wasn’t without dignity. She wasn’t going to let the craziness of the past few days turn her into a weak little girl who needed a big, strong—gorgeous, her mind supplied—man to help her make it through the night. “Woman up, Katie. Go look out the stupid window.”
Shilah turned his head at the sound of her voice. His soft, brown eyes gave her the courage she needed to close the distance between them. She knelt at his side and very carefully pushed the bottom corner of the curtain away from the glass, creating an opening just large enough for her to peer through.
Outside there was snow. And trees—lots of trees. Trees and snow surrounded them, stretching as far as Katie could see from her vantage point. Rafe’s truck was on the other side of the cabin, as was the path she’d taken into the woods. The nearly full moon cast an eerie glow over the forest, illuminating the immediate area while creating impossibly dark, sinister shadows in which evil undoubtedly lurked. When one such shadow shifted, melting into the shape of a man, Katie’s palms went damp. A second shadow moved close by—another man, standing beside the first.
Katie fell backward and landed hard on her ass. Then she scrambled to her feet, a single thought racing through her mind on endless loop.
Rafe. She needed Rafe.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Katie flung open the guest room door, slamming into Rafe as soon as she ran into the hallway. He caught her in impossibly strong arms and held her against his bare chest, and she buried her face in his neck before she could remind herself that she shouldn’t. He tightened his embrace, then smoothed a hand over her hair and shushed her panicked breathing.
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