“How about now?” She let the agony she felt at his torment come to the front. “What do you feel now?”
He blinked rapidly, then pulled away from her to swipe his arm over his eyes. “I ache.”
“So do I. It’s this distance between us.” Katie pulled on his shoulder so that he faced her. “If you and I are going to work, you can’t see me as this fragile, helpless human who’s going to get broken by the big, bad wolf. I’m your bond-mate. I still don’t believe that you would ever intentionally cause me pain or discomfort. Yesterday you believed the same thing.” She waited for him to relax, to understand, to accept what she was saying, but he stood rigid and stared at the floor. “Trust our bond, Rafe. Listen to what it’s telling you. Listen to me.” She took a breath. “Trust me.”
He surprised her by curling an arm around her waist to draw her into a tentative hug. When his erection bumped against her thigh, he jerked away quickly. Katie snugged in closer and returned his embrace, but Rafe remained guarded. “I just wish I’d given you the chance to actually consent.”
“You did. I consented and you knew it. Deep down, you knew.”
He set down the spatula and put his other arm around her, splaying his fingers against her lower back. “I don’t understand how you can be okay with the way I treated you this morning, especially after what those animals put you through last night. But I am listening to you, I do trust you, and I know you’re telling me the truth.” He released her with a gentle squeeze. “Doesn’t mean I want to do that to you again, though.”
Katie ran her hand down Rafe’s chest to his stomach. “I hope you don’t mean that. I’m not saying I want it to be like that every time, but once a month or so might be nice…”
A strained smile played across Rafe’s face as he turned his attention back to breakfast. “I suppose if we establish boundaries and work out the terms of the encounter beforehand…and you promise not to surprise me with good-morning blow jobs during the full moon…”
Katie patted his stomach and stepped away. “Deal.” Even now she could feel Rafe struggling to maintain an iron grip on his control. She sensed that being able to hang on to his humanity in the hours before his transformation meant everything to him, and she didn’t want to jeopardize his ability to do so. Though she wouldn’t exactly mind being bent over the counter and fucked, she wasn’t sure their relationship could take it. “That sausage smells amazing.”
“Yeah, it does. I’m starving.” Rafe scraped the meat onto a plate, then cracked a few eggs into the pan. “How do you want your eggs?”
“Over medium, if you don’t mind.”
His shoulders relaxed. “I can do that.”
The obvious affection in his voice washed away the lingering stain of the morning’s misunderstanding. Warm all over, Katie murmured, “This is nice.”
Rafe snorted. “Really?”
“Well, impending werewolf revenge attack aside…yes.” Taking her seat, Katie propped her chin on her hand and watched Rafe flip an egg. “I’ve never dated a guy who made me breakfast the morning after.”
“Seriously?” He scoffed. “Humans.”
“Hey, watch it.” She grinned so he’d know she wasn’t really upset by his vaguely insulting dig. The look he shot back clued her in to the fact that he was actually trying to be playful. “Though to be fair, you’re right. Now that I’ve experienced being with a werewolf, I’m not sure I’d ever be able to go back to a normal human boyfriend. Even if you and I weren’t bonded.”
“You say that now, but you’ve only been with a werewolf for less than twelve hours. Let’s make it through our first full moon together and then you can decide how you feel about having a boyfriend like me.” Rafe divvied up the sausage he’d just cooked between two plates, then followed up with the eggs. “After tonight you’ll have seen the very worst aspects of being with someone like me. It may change your perspective.”
“Or it may not.”
Rafe set a plate of food in front of her, along with a glass of water. Then he brought his own food to the table and sank onto the chair to her left. “It’ll only get worse the closer we are to sunset.”
“What will?” Katie took a bite of sausage and moaned. She assumed the flavorful meat was the fruit of Rafe’s hunting efforts, which somehow made it even more delicious. “Oh, this is yummy.”
Rafe quickly took a bite of his own food. “I’ll only get worse. Especially if you keep moaning like that.”
“Oh.” Katie popped a forkful of eggs in her mouth, careful to stay silent as she appreciated the flavor. She could practically feel Rafe’s hunger for something more than food. It turned her insides to water. “I understand.”
“The closer I get to my transformation, the more…primal I become.” He shoveled another bite into his mouth and chewed voraciously. “I’m not really used to having a female around. Especially one I’m bonded to.” Rafe kept his attention locked on his plate. “If it seems like I’m keeping my distance, that’s why.”
“It’s not me, it’s you. Pretty much.”
He gave her a reluctant smile. “Pretty much.”
“I get it.” Katie caught his gaze. “Just don’t be too distant, okay? It really isn’t necessary.” She paused to chew, too hungry to slow down for conversation. “I’m not as delicate as you think I am.”
“Glad to hear it.” Polishing off the rest of his plate with astonishing speed, Rafe set down his fork and folded his hands on the table. “Because you’ll need not to be delicate tonight.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Katie sighed. She really didn’t want to think about what lie ahead. Unfortunately, ignoring the fact that there were vicious creatures coming to kill them wouldn’t delay their inevitable appearance. “What time will you transform?”
“After dark. Around eight o’clock, most likely.” Rafe pushed away from the table and turned his chair to face her. “I’ll go outside as soon as the sun goes down. I don’t want you anywhere near me when I turn.”
“What if the others are out there?”
“I assume they will be.” He shrugged. “They’ll listen to Jack. If he told them not to retaliate while they’re in control of their actions, they won’t. But once we all transform, it’s going to be a bloodbath.” Gathering both their plates, Rafe stood, but not before planting a gentle kiss on top of her head. “The important thing is that you stay locked inside the cabin, no matter what happens. And that you shoot anyone who comes in after you.”
Katie shuddered. It all sounded so much like a bad dream that she could hardly believe it was really going to happen. If not for the memory of being trapped beneath the heavy weight of a werewolf whose mouth dripped with her blood, she probably wouldn’t. “I understand.” She watched Rafe rinse off their plates, overwhelmed by the myriad of emotions washing over her. Despite the ominous cloud hanging over them, there was a part of her that was happier than she’d been in a long time. Stupidly, improbably happier. If only they were a normal pair of new lovers, she’d suggest they head back to bed. Instead she had to face the very real possibility that one or both of them wouldn’t make it through the night. “Do you think any of your pack-mates will come help?”
Rafe’s expression hardened. “I don’t know. Even if they wanted to risk angering Alpha by involving themselves, they won’t have conscious control over their actions. Some may show up. It’s likely nobody will.” Rafe dried his hands on a dish towel, affecting a casual air that Katie didn’t believe. “I’ll protect you with or without them.”
“How? You’ll be outnumbered.”
“But I’ll have the strength that our bond gives me.” He walked back to the table and dropped into his chair. If not for the trace of uncertainty she sensed in his voice, she’d think he was all confidence. “I’ll be fine.”
Katie glanced toward the curtained window. Muted light filtered through the material, evidence that the sun had risen. “What if we try to make a break for it? Maybe the roads are clear.“
&
nbsp; “Unfortunately, I’m not able to radio Cooper and ask about the roads. I may have to leave you for a few minutes to scout ahead and see if they’re open. I don’t want to take you away from the cabin unless it’s a one-way trip into town.”
It was her idiotic escape attempt had led to the loss of Rafe’s radio. She wanted to kick herself for not remembering to grab it after Rafe stopped her assault. The idea of being separated for even a few minutes panicked her. “I don’t want you to go.”
“I shouldn’t have to run very far to see whether the route is passable. Unless the roads are safe to drive on before three o’clock at the very latest, I think trying to leave will be more dangerous than staying. If we got stranded out there, we’d have to try and fend them off in the open woods. I’d also have to transform in your presence, which is not something I’m keen to do.” Rafe shook his head as though shrugging off a bad memory. “That said, if by some miracle the road is open, I do think that getting you to town is the best possible option. Even if they can’t evacuate you tonight, the others aren’t likely to follow you into civilization.”
Katie’s heart sank as she interpreted Rafe’s meaning. “You sound like you’re not planning to go with me.”
“Because I can’t.” Shame radiated from his every pore. “Tonight I’ll become a murderous, bloodthirsty wolf. I have no business being around human beings when I’m like that.”
“Then I’m staying with you.” She folded her arms over her chest and put on her most defiant expression. He could try to talk her out of it, but she wasn’t going to be swayed. Insane as it sounded even to her, Rafe’s life had somehow become as precious to her as her own. She couldn’t flee to safety knowing that he was going to spend the night fighting a war on her behalf. “I won’t leave you here.”
“I’ll be fine. If we can get you out, that’s what we need to do.”
Katie rejected his bravado with a dismissive wave. “They’re going to come for you whether I’m here or not. And if I’m not, you won’t have that protective instinct working in your favor. Considering that the best-case scenario in the event of your death is that a part of me will die along with you, and the worst-case scenario is that all of me will die, abandoning you doesn’t really work for me. So you don’t need to bother checking on the roads. I’m staying.”
Rafe leaned back in his chair. “You’re strong-willed, aren’t you?”
Her ex-boyfriend Dylan had made a similar observation—albeit in cruder terms—right before ending their relationship. In the months since he’d left, she’d tried to embrace her willful nature but secretly worried that she would never find a man who could love that about her. She sincerely hoped that Rafe wasn’t put off by spirited women—that would spell disaster for any relationship they might have. “So I’ve been told.”
“Good.” He raked his eyes over her body, yet again visibly aroused. His desire was palpable, hanging heavily between them. “It’ll help.”
When his nostrils flared and he looked away to take a deep, steadying breath, Katie said, “Is this why your pack stays away from humans? Because it’s too difficult to control your primal urges?”
“Among other reasons.” Rafe licked his lips and met her gaze with effort. “Threat of discovery is also a concern. My pack operates on the assumption that if humans realize we’re out here, sooner or later they’ll try to hunt us down. And that would get ugly, fast.”
“So then why are the others so cavalier about revealing themselves? Don’t they stand to lose just as much?”
The grim expression on Rafe’s face raised the hairs on the back of Katie’s neck. “They consider themselves more evolved than humans. Werewolves have superior speed and strength, plus the ability to heal ourselves at an accelerated rate. So they don’t see humans as equals—they see you as easy and honorable prey for their animalistic urges. As toys to beat and violate and devour after they’re all used up. They don’t worry about discovery because they don’t leave witnesses alive.” He curled his lip in disgust. “And they don’t much care about getting ugly, anyway.”
All the warmth in her body drained away. “Do you think I’m the first human to escape one of their hunts?”
“It’s possible.” Her worry seemed to take the edge off his unrelenting desire, because he softened and took her hands between his. “No one in my pack has ever claimed a human before. The idea of allowing one inside our society is absolutely unheard of—for the others and for my own pack. I’m not sure whether anyone could ever accept it. Or us. Make no mistake…we’re breaking new ground here.”
Katie managed a smile she didn’t really feel. “Guess it’s a good thing you were already a lone wolf.”
Snorting, Rafe murmured, “Guess so.”
Hoping he wouldn’t take the gesture as a tease, Katie put her hand on his arm. “But you know you’re not alone anymore. Right?”
Rafe shifted his gaze to the tabletop. “Like I said, let’s just make it through tonight. Then we’ll talk about the future.”
Tonight. Katie curled her hands into fists and pressed down hard on her thighs. Like it or not, it was time to start getting serious about survival. She wanted the chance to talk about a future with Rafe more than she could logically explain. “On that note, last night I told you I knew how to use a gun. And I do. My dad taught me to shoot as a kid…but I haven’t actually fired a round in years. So I’d be lying if I said I felt totally confident about taking out an angry, snarling, moving wolf.”
Rafe failed to hide his mild alarm at her disclosure. “Then it sounds like it’s time for a little target practice.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Rafe insisted that she bundle up in a pair of his sweatpants and a heavy coat, but only after he’d checked her legs one last time. This examination was quick and efficient and he didn’t touch or even look at her any more than necessary. Throughout, his struggle to keep his libido in check was plain to see. When he deemed her fit for target practice and she finally pulled his baggy clothing on over her T-shirt and panties, the palpable relief on his face made her feel genuinely bad about having traipsed around in her underwear all morning. That he wanted her with such ferocity was undeniably exciting, even if the intensity of his desire clearly frightened him. Despite his unease, her gut remained convinced that there was no reason to be afraid of him. She just wished that he was ready to believe in his inability to hurt her, as he had only hours ago.
When Rafe led her to the front door, revolver and box of shells in hand, Katie battled a jolt of anxiety. “Do you think it’s safe for us to go outdoors?”
“Yes, as long as you do exactly as I say. You aren’t to step off the porch. I want you standing next to the front door and paying attention to me at all times. If something happens, you’re to run inside and close the door when I tell you. Just do exactly as I tell you, when I tell you.” Suddenly looking like he was aware that he was barking orders at her like a drill sergeant, he modulated his tone. “Got it?”
“Yes.”
“And if anyone approaches, let me do the talking.”
“With pleasure.” So far none of Rafe’s associates had struck her as having particularly worthwhile conversational skills. She was more than happy to let him take the lead. “I doubt any of them wants to lower themselves by talking to a human anyway.”
Rafe stopped with his hand on the door knob and looked at her sadly. “You know I don’t think of you that way, right? As inferior.” He curled an arm around her waist and gave her a slightly awkward hug. “You’re not.”
“I appreciate that.” She hugged him back. “Just like I don’t think of you the way I think of the others. As an animal.”
Rafe released her with a weary chuckle. “Except that’s exactly what I am, Katie. It would be a mistake to forget it. I just control the animal inside of me a little better than some of others.”
“I know what you are. And I still can’t help but love every part of you.” She bumped his shoulder and gestured at the door. “Let
’s go shoot something.”
A chilly blast of winter air took her breath away when Rafe pulled the door open. At his silent command, she lingered within the warmth of the cabin as he strolled down the length of the porch and checked their surroundings. His movements were sure-footed and powerful, predatory in the extreme. The way he surveyed his environment reminded her of a wolf on the hunt. She knew he could see, hear, and smell so much that she couldn’t. Nothing about his abilities frightened or disgusted her. Rather, he intrigued her in a way that no mere mortal could.
“Come outside.” Rafe kept his voice low, clearly concerned about being overheard. “Leave the door cracked behind you.”
Katie stepped out into the cold, studying the trees beyond the porch. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, she turned her attention to Rafe. He walked to her side and placed the revolver in her hand. She leaned into him unconsciously, glad for his heat. Already the chill had permeated Rafe’s thick winter coat and settled into her bones. “So what should I aim for?”
He pointed at a tree not far from the corner of the porch. The trunk split about six feet off the ground, each thick segment exploding into a riot of smaller branches. “See where that one forks?”
She raised the gun and lined up the sight, aiming directly at the juncture of the two branches. The revolver felt odd in her grip, quite unlike the rifles her father had encouraged her to master. Rafe reached for her free hand and guided it into a supportive position on the grip. She nodded in acknowledgment and set her feet apart, bending her knees ever so slightly. “Should I just shoot?”
“Whenever you’re ready.”
Katie narrowed her gaze, exhaled, and squeezed the trigger. Nothing happened.
Rafe reached past her to flick off the safety. “There’s the most important thing to remember for tonight.”
“Safety off. Got it.” Her face heated despite the cold air. “Clearly this practice was a good idea.”
“It’s not like you go running around shooting things in your daily life.” He nuzzled her flushed cheek with his warm nose, then moved his lips to brush against her ear lobe. “It’s okay. That’s why we’re going over this now.”
Soul Bonded Page 11
