Katie exhaled shakily. “That must have been difficult for him. Not making the decision, but living with having taken that boy’s life.”
“He didn’t have to live with it very long.”
Her free hand flew to her mouth. “No…”
Barely suppressed rage simmered beneath Rafe’s almost deadly calm. “Cain tossed me aside and jumped onto my father. Beat him to death right in front of me with the same cast-iron skillet Dad had used to prepare breakfast that morning.”
Katie literally felt like she would be sick. She put her hand on her stomach and exhaled uneasily. It took all her strength to open her mouth and speak. “I can’t believe you had to see that. You were just a baby.”
“Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” Rafe scooted closer and curled his fingers around her ankle. “Take deep breaths.”
When you hurt, I feel pain. She bowed her head and focused on not losing her breakfast. “This is from you?”
“Partially, at least.” Rafe rubbed her calf, then gave her a tender squeeze. “This is a traumatic memory and I’ve never talked about it before. It’s…intense. You’re obviously picking up on my pain. That’s how the bond works. For better or worse.”
The urge to be sick receded, but a hollow ache remained. “It’s not just our bond. That’s an awful thing for anyone to have to witness. It’s not hard to imagine why you were so angry.”
“I stood there paralyzed the entire time Cain was killing my father. It was only after he was dead that I unfroze. I shifted—I was just a puppy then—and went after Cain like a full grown wolf. He had me pinned almost instantly. He just held me down until I was too tired to fight anymore. When I started to sob, he told me that as my alpha, it was his job to protect me. And that because my father had failed to do so, he’d had no choice but to put him down.” Though this part of Rafe’s story was no less tragic than the beginning, he kept his tone neutral and he seemed distant from the emotion he described—like he was protecting her from it. She covered his hand with hers, keeping them connected as he continued speaking. “He took me home with him. Told me he’d raise me as his own and teach me to be a ‘real’ wolf.”
“Did he?”
“I lived with him for only a week. The entire time, he just kept telling me how weak my father had been. That he was a disgrace to the pack, that he’d failed me. When I cried that first night with him, he beat me until I literally couldn’t cry any more. And then he beat me every night after that, until the day Cooper and our current Alpha—whose name is Derek—came to see him.”
Katie desperately hoped this was the turning point in Rafe’s story. She couldn’t bear to think of the suffering his former alpha had caused. This was an authority figure, a man he was supposed to have been able to trust. No wonder Rafe had grown up so angry. “Did they know what Cain was doing to you?”
“They figured it out pretty quickly. They knew he’d killed my father.” Rafe met her eyes. “Despite the brutality of the beatings I endured, my healing ability meant that there wasn’t a scratch on me. It didn’t matter, though. I think it was obvious that I was terrified of him.”
“So what did they do?”
“Derek told Cain that he thought maybe I should stay with him or Cooper for a while. That after what had happened, I needed some time to grieve and recover. Cain told Derek that I was a weak little pussy because my father had raised me that way, and that it was up to him and him alone to straighten me out.” His mouth twitched as he no doubt relived that day. “That’s when Derek challenged him—his leadership. Apparently Cain’s punishment for my father was extremely polarizing for a pack already beset by political unrest.”
“So that’s how Derek became your Alpha?”
Rafe nodded. “Cain had no choice but to fight him. They went outside in front of Cain’s place, where most of the rest of the pack was waiting. The fight lasted for probably fifteen minutes, but it felt like forever. I was scared about what would happen if Cain won. The entire time I thought about shifting into a wolf and just running as fast and as far as my legs could take me. But I knew I’d never survive on my own. I wasn’t exactly a city kid, but I wasn’t a survivalist, either.”
“And you were only seven.”
“Yeah,” Rafe murmured. “I was seven.”
It was difficult to wrap her head around the idea that Rafe had witnessed at least three separate killings within a week, all at such a tender age. When she was seven, her biggest concern had been how to convince her parents to adopt a kitten. They had, of course, because they were amazing parents who’d given her the kind of childhood Rafe no doubt couldn’t imagine. Eyes stinging, Katie came forward onto her knees and threw her arms around Rafe, gathering him in a tight embrace. He returned her hug, no doubt on instinct, but stiffened. Aware that she’d once again crossed the line and made him uncomfortable, she reluctantly pulled away. “Sorry.”
“No need to apologize.” He caressed her cheek, staring at her with an expression of pure wonder. “I’m okay, you know. It was a long time ago.”
Katie sniffled, nodding rapidly. “I know. I just wish…” She hesitated. “I wish I’d known you then.”
Rafe chuckled and dropped his hand to entwine their fingers. “You wouldn’t have liked me much. I was a bad boy.”
“I doubt that.”
Scoffing, Rafe said, “Well, I wasn’t a good boy.”
“I imagine you were a troubled boy.” Unable to stay away, Katie traced his jaw line with her thumb. “And who could blame you?”
“After Cain was killed, I got passed around to various members of the pack. I’d stay a month here, three months there, but I never had a permanent home again.” He gestured at their surroundings with unmistakable pride. “Not until I built this place when I was seventeen years old.”
“Seventeen?” Katie was floored. “I wasn’t even doing my own laundry at seventeen.”
Rafe smiled. “I grew up fast. It wasn’t what I would have chosen, but I had to. After my father died, my childhood ended. Don’t get me wrong…my pack-mates were good to me. They kept me alive at a time when I had no survival skills and no kin, but after Dad died, I had to look out for myself. I was no one’s first priority. And I didn’t trust anyone, least of all those with authority.”
“What about Susan? When did you meet her?” She tried to keep her tone light, hating the jealousy that swept through her at the thought of Rafe loving another woman. It was almost painful to think of him with someone else.
“I was sixteen. She was twenty-two.” The warmth in his eyes hinted at the importance of Susan’s place in his early life. It wasn’t difficult to understand why. With no family, a lover must have quickly become the center of his world. “She just turned up one day—no family, no friends—looking for the security and protection of a pack. Alpha agreed to let her join. I was living with him at that time, and he put her in the bedroom next to mine for a few months. We hit it off almost immediately. She was my first everything.”
Any jealousy she’d been harboring dissipated at the realization that Susan had been a friend for Rafe at a time when he’d clearly felt totally alone in the world. “I can’t imagine how devastated you must have been when she disappeared.”
“I was destroyed. I built this cabin for us. I thought we would grow old here together, maybe have some pups. But we only lived here for two months.” He stopped talking suddenly, giving her a careful sidelong glance. “It was a very long time ago.”
Knowing he was concerned about her reaction to the talk of his long lost love, Katie shook her head. She wasn’t worried about competition. Rafe belonged to her, and she to him. The only thing she felt about Susan was sorrow that her disappearance had caused young Rafe yet another heartbreak. “Have you been alone since?”
“Yeah.”
She recalled Rafe’s confession the night before when she’d asked about condoms. He’d wanted babies with Susan, and now he wasn’t sure that he could impregnate her. That kept sponta
neous sex nice and simple, but it also meant they couldn’t fulfill the dreams Rafe once had. Dreams that she had, as well. “Do you still want pups?”
He avoided her gaze. “I told you I don’t think that’s possible for us.”
“But if it were?”
Rafe’s jaw tightened. Before he could speak, a muffled thump drew their attention to the front door. A louder thud brought both Rafe and Shilah to their feet. Rafe held up his hand as he walked to the door. “Stay there.”
Katie huddled on the couch, happy to obey. “Be careful.”
Rafe walked to the door and looked out the peephole. Then he jerked back as another thump shattered the quiet. Glowering, Rafe stalked back and forth a few times before peeking out again. “They’re throwing snowballs.”
Her instinct was to giggle at the absurdity of their weapon of choice, but Rafe’s obvious frustration took the humor out of the situation. “Ignore them.”
Rafe let out a truly inhuman growl and pounded his fist against the door. “Fuck them.”
Fury poured off him in palpable waves. Without thinking, Katie got off the couch and walked to stand behind him. Her only desire was to soothe Rafe’s temper, to somehow draw him back inside their own private bubble. With so little time before he transformed, she didn’t want to spend even a moment wallowing in anger and frustration about the situation outside. She touched his shoulder. “Come sit with me.”
He shrugged away from her. “I need to go outside to get some supplies so I can secure the windows. Do you have the gun?”
“It’s on the coffee table.” Katie didn’t like the idea of Rafe coming face-to-face with Lisa and her thugs while he was so upset. “Rafe, the windows can wait. Let’s finish our conversation.”
Rafe whirled around and stared her down. “Like hell it can wait. And I told you to keep that gun on you. At all times.”
She didn’t know what else to do but answer his anger with tenderness. Moving slowly, Katie looped her arms around Rafe’s neck and rested her head against his chest. His heart hammered beneath her ear as his entire body vibrated with fiery rage. Afraid that he would fly apart at the seams, Katie squeezed him as tightly as she dared. Eyes closed, she put every ounce of her concentration into passing calm, soothing energy from her chest into Rafe’s. She had no idea what she was doing, but there was no denying that Rafe been able to create a palpable effect on her mood by doing something similar. Even if she wasn’t supernatural, maybe it went both ways.
She felt the change immediately. His shoulders loosened and his breathing evened out. His hands came up and splayed across her back, possessive and reverent at the same time. He spun them in place so her back was against the door, then leaned against her with a shudder. She buried her face in his neck, stroking her hands over his shoulders. Another snowball hit the door, but she didn’t react—nor did Rafe. He just leaned into her harder, breathing deeply as his heart rate eased.
Relieved that she’d somehow defused the situation, Katie reached up to play with the fine hairs on the back of his neck. “I’m enjoying getting to know you better. Let’s keep doing that for just a while longer.” She kissed the side of his throat. “Please.”
He bumped his hips into hers and rumbled deep in his chest. Still rock hard, for once he didn’t pull back when his cock pressed into her belly. A moan slipped out from between her lips unbidden, a trill of pleasure skittering up her spine. Her arousal triggered an instant change in their embrace. Rafe slid his hands around her waist to her lower back, then moved down to squeeze her ass. His fingers sought out the cleft of her buttocks, exploring her through her pants. Breathing that had slowed turned ragged as Rafe’s touch grew more demanding.
She couldn’t allow things to get out of control. Not unless she was prepared to risk another round of Rafe’s self-flagellation. Summoning her will, Katie put her hand on Rafe’s chest and gently pushed him away. At first she thought he wouldn’t go, but after a moment of resistance, he retreated. Nostrils flaring, he stared at her with hungry, entreating eyes.
Once green eyes that now glowed unearthly amber.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Katie’s startled gasp sent Rafe stumbling away from her. His wild, luminous eyes instantly lost their amber sheen, reverting to pretty green and transforming him back into the man she’d already come to love. He turned and hid his face, cursing audibly under his breath. With that, the peace she’d created for them vanished. Awkward silence lingered in its place.
She wanted to tell him that everything was okay—that she was okay—but her throat wouldn’t work. While she’d understood that touching him carried the possibility of unchecked passion, she hadn’t expected that at all.
Rafe curled his hands into fists, knuckles going white. “I’m going outside.”
She stepped out of the way without protest. “Rafe, I’m sorry. I was startled. That’s all.”
He brushed past her, then hesitated with his hand on the doorknob. “Get the gun. Whatever happens, do not come after me.”
“All right.” Hating that her reaction to his appearance must have seemed like disgust, Katie reached for him but stopped short of making contact. “Please be careful. I want to finish our conversation.”
He grunted, then opened the door and stepped outside to a round of jeers and catcalls. He slammed the door in her face before she could make out what was being said, but she didn’t need to hear specifics to know that it was going to take all of Rafe’s considerable resolve not to rise to their baiting. Between his pent-up sexual energy and his simmering rage over their threats to her life, Rafe had to be on the verge of explosion. She just wished that he would let her do something to help. Even with his eyes gone wild and a sky-high libido, he still hadn’t attacked her. The opposite, in fact—he’d allowed her to push him away.
Rafe wouldn’t hurt her. She knew it in her bones—all she had to do was figure out some way to make him see that, too.
Sighing, Katie jogged to the coffee table and snatched up the revolver. She didn’t trust Lisa and her friends not to instigate trouble. More directly, she didn’t trust Rafe to keep his cool in his current state of mind. There was too much bottled up inside him, and it made him vulnerable to the threats and taunts she knew were being hurtled at him outside. Aware that Rafe wouldn’t approve, she took a chance that everyone was too distracted with antagonizing each other to notice as she cracked open the front door an inch.
The first thing she heard was a crude remark from Lisa. “Driving you crazy, isn’t it? I could smell her cunt from here. It’s only a matter of time before you tear that bitch to shreds.”
“Back off.” Though Katie couldn’t see anything through the narrow opening she’d created, Rafe sounded like he was standing close to Lisa. Too close. “Let me pass.”
“Or what?” Lisa snorted. “You ready to go against your Alpha and attack me? I’m not ready to cross mine.”
“Then get the fuck out of my way!”
Rafe’s booming voice echoed off the bare trees and set Katie’s heart racing. She tightened her grip on the gun, ready to use it. If he started a fight, she wouldn’t be able to stand by and not try to help. Even if that’s exactly what he’s asking me to do tonight. She closed her eyes and waited, hoping that nothing would happen that forced her to disobey Rafe. She wanted to do as he said and stay put, but not at the cost of letting this situation escalate out of control. If they injured or killed Rafe now, her life was forfeit. Even if she did manage to somehow hold them all off for the night, there would be no happy ending.
Rather than react to Rafe’s outburst with violence, Lisa laughed derisively. “Shit. You are frustrated, aren’t you?” He didn’t answer. She increased her volume, as though he was walking away from her. “I know you’ve fucked her at least once. You reek of it. What’s wrong? Are you afraid of frightening her? Breaking her?”
Rafe’s heavy, deliberate footsteps ascended the porch steps and came closer. Katie pulled the door closed, muffling the sound of L
isa’s taunting words. Breathless, she stepped to the side and waited for Rafe to return to safety. Instead, she heard him turn and clomp back down the porch stairs for another trip to the shed. Concerned that Lisa would really amp up her venom now, Katie immediately eased open the door again. After a brief hesitation, she summoned her courage and widened the opening so she could glimpse the confrontation.
She could only see Lisa’s shoulder and half her face because a wooden support blocked the rest of her view. It was more than enough to witness the viciousness in her every movement. Lisa stepped in front of Rafe as he tried to pass. “Was it worth it? Killing my mate for a human you can’t even touch? One too fragile to satisfy a wolf’s needs?”
“Katie is worth a hundred of your mate.” Rafe shouldered his way past her, striding past a dark-colored wolf who sat erect and watched the proceedings with unwavering attention. “More, even.”
“I don’t know about that, but she sure does taste good,” shouted a familiar male voice. The biter.
“Is that right?” Lisa waited until Rafe approached her with an armful of wooden boards, then lunged at him to knock a few off the top into the snow. “Does Katie taste good?”
An unfamiliar male voice called out, “If the rest of these fools leave her alive until tomorrow morning, I plan on taking my time and finding out just how sweet she is. There’s nothing quite like human pussy. Am I right?”
Rafe bent, disappearing from view, then straightened with the boards once again stacked in his arms. “Anyone who touches Katie is going to suffer a particularly painful death. That’s a promise.”
The naked brunette who’d gotten fucked on the ground sidled up to Rafe and reached between his legs. “As painful as that massive hard-on you’re wielding?”
Soul Bonded Page 14
