Chapter One
Lizzy rapped her fingers on the table, telephone held tightly to her ear. “Come on Sal, pick up.” She glanced at the door slammed by Daniel only minutes earlier as he stormed out. Would he come back? And if he did, what would he do? Her hands trembled. She had to leave immediately, just in case. But why wasn’t Sal picking up?
She threw the telephone back into its cradle, pulled the curtain back, and peered out the window to the street below. At the sight of the Ford Escort fish-tailing down the street into the distance, the reality of what she’d just done hit her like a ton of bricks. A sick feeling flooded her body, and she let out a desperate gut wrenching wail as she fell into the nearby chair and burst into tears.
With her arms wrapped tightly around her stomach, and her body racked by uncontrollable sobs, Lizzy tried to reign in the jumbled thoughts writhing formlessly inside her head.
It hadn’t gone to plan. Daniel shouldn’t have taken the car, and where was Sal? She should have been home. Now what am I to do?
A fresh wave of tears assailed her. Sal’s mother had taken ill. How could I have forgotten that?
She pulled herself slowly up and dried her tears. That left only one option. She’d have to go home, but the very idea filled her with dread.
She needed to go, or else the temptation of staying might be too great. Standing up, Lizzy straightened her dishevelled clothing and surveyed the apartment with a heavy heart. She picked up the wedding photo sitting on the coffee table and gazed into Daniel’s sparkling, mischievous eyes. He’d been so happy and carefree that day. She smiled at the cheeky grin on his face. Then her heart fell. What had happened to them? She hugged her unborn baby and forced back the fresh wave of tears that threatened to besiege her.
Returning the photo to the table, Lizzy sighed dejectedly and walked to the hall cupboard. Her bags were already packed. Deciding what to take had been difficult. Where would she be when the baby was born? By then, hopefully Daniel would have sorted his problems, but three and a half months wasn’t a long time, and there was no guarantee. One thing for sure - she wouldn’t come back until he had.
Without a car, it was going to be challenging. Lizzy glanced at the clock. If she hurried, there might be time to catch the afternoon train to London. And then… well, she’d think about what to do when she got there.
She picked up the telephone and called a taxi. There was no way she could bring herself to call her parents just yet. Taking one last look at the apartment, Lizzy wondered if she’d ever be back. Before opening the door, she grabbed the photo and squeezed it into her case.
The railway station was busier than Lizzy had expected. Taking a train was a new experience. Her family always had a car, and she even remembered when she was little, they also had a driver. These days, Father drove himself.
Maybe going by train would be better anyway. If only she didn’t have this heavy suitcase. She thanked the taxi driver as he lifted it out and placed it onto the pavement for her, but then she looked at the stairs.
Inhaling deeply, Lizzy picked up her case, and joined the queue for tickets, her heart rate increasing the closer she got. Could she really do this? Could she really leave Daniel and return to her family home? Yes. She had to.
If there was any hope for her marriage, there was no option. Yes, it was a risk, but staying was riskier. Daniel had to sort himself out. She couldn’t do it for him. If he loved her as much as he said he did, surely he’d take action and seek help. But would leaving him like she had be enough?
Lizzy moved forward and gulped. It was her turn. The lady behind the counter looked over the top of her glasses with a bored expression on her face as Lizzy hesitated.
“Single to London, thanks. 2nd class.” Lizzy’s voice wobbled. She handed over the money and took the ticket. When would her heart stop pounding?
Although she’d left most of her belongings behind, her suitcase was still heavy, and the prospect of carrying it up all those stairs was daunting. But she had to do it. She grabbed it with her right hand, and held the rail with her left. One step at a time. She could do this. Where was Daniel when she needed him?
Totally focussed on reaching the top, Lizzy jumped as a hand touched her shoulder. Daniel? No, it can’t be. She turned around and looked into the eyes of a brown haired young man wearing glasses a little too big for his face.
“Here, let me help you.” He reached out and took the case from her hand, warding off her protests. He carried it effortlessly to the top and waited for Lizzy to join him. “What carriage are you in?”
Lizzy took out her ticket and inspected it before answering. “Number three. But I should be alright from here.” She smiled at the softly spoken young man who seemed more than eager to help.
“No, no. Let me carry it for you. You shouldn’t be carrying it in your condition.”
In her condition! She allowed a small grin to show on her face.
“Thank you. That would be lovely.” Lizzy babbled about inconsequential things all the way to her carriage. What would he think if she told him she was running away from her husband? It didn’t matter. He was only carrying her suitcase.
He helped her onto the train and lifted the suitcase onto the luggage rail above the seats.
“Thank you so much.” Lizzy gave the young man an appreciative smile. “There was no way I could have lifted that up there by myself.”
“My pleasure. I’m just down the other end of the carriage. I’ll come and help when we reach Doncaster.”
“There’s really no need…”
“It’s fine. I don’t mind.” His sincerity warmed her heart. There really were some nice people in the world.
She smiled at him. “Thank you. That would be wonderful.”
He left, and she settled herself into her window seat for the first short leg of her journey.
Alone at last, Lizzy leaned back and breathed in the strange smells. People were still entering, and she hoped no-one would take the seat beside her. The last thing she wanted or needed right now was to engage in idle chatter.
Lizzy’s head hurt. Not quite as much as her heart, but a trillion thoughts were running around in her brain, fighting for attention. She took out a notebook and a pen, and started a list. So many things to do, phone calls to make. Nessa. She needed to tell her she’d left, and ask her to keep a lookout for Daniel. The school. She felt terrible about leaving her class and Kid’s Club at such short notice. She’d have to tell the principal it was unlikely she’d be back. He wouldn’t be happy about that. She sighed and glanced out the window.
She’d have to call the hospital. Her next checkup was in two weeks. Then she’d have to call her parents. Or maybe she could just turn up unannounced? Was that a coward’s way out? Maybe. She’d think about that one. She’d need to pay the rent on the apartment. Daniel didn’t have any money as far as she knew. It was either pay it or risk losing all her belongings. She’d have to be careful with her money. The last thing she wanted to do was ask her parents for any.
And where to stay in London? It’d be too late by the time the train got in to go any further, and besides, a day and night in London on her own held some appeal. Maybe she could stay two nights. No-one knew where she was, after all.
Now that her brain had settled, Lizzy closed her eyes and fell asleep to the clickety clack of the train.
She woke with a start as a loud voice boomed through the speaker. “Doncaster. Doncaster next station. Change here for Kings Cross London.” She pulled herself up and stretched. How she’d slept in that uncomfortable seat was beyond her.
The train slowed and she gazed out the window as it passed the outskirts of the town. The steeple of the centuries old cathedral was just visible in the distance, but was then blocked by a coal train with seemingly endless carriages.
Once the train had pulled to a stop, she stood and looked up at her suitcase. No, she’d better wait. It’d be stupid to try to get it herself. She smiled at the friendly young man mak
ing his way around the other passengers towards her.
“Thank you so much. It’s very kind of you.” The young man reached up and lifted the case down into the passageway.
“My pleasure. I’ll help you onto the next train, but I’m getting off before London. Is someone meeting you at the other end?
Lizzy shook her head. “No, I’m afraid not. I’ll manage somehow.”
Lizzy followed the young man to the end of the carriage, where he helped her down the step and over the gap between the train and the platform. But how would she manage? Her heart began to race as she gazed at the platform that stretched into the distance. And this was only Doncaster.
“The train to London goes from the platform over there. No easy way, I’m sorry. Up the stairs and then back down.”
“Why do they make it so hard?” Lizzy grimaced as she looked in the direction he was indicating.
He shrugged, and then picked up his own bag up and then hers, and started walking. “Who knows? I’m Scott, by the way.”
“Lizzy. It’s nice to meet you, Scott.” She smiled warmly at the young man and then walked beside him all the way to the next platform.
The London train was already there and filling up with passengers. Scott helped her into her seat in the seventh carriage, and wished her well. As he walked away, Lizzy was sad she’d never see him again, but content to be left to her own thoughts.
Chapter Two
Darkness had fallen by the time the train arrived at Kings Cross Station. Lizzy spent the hours reading, thinking, praying and dozing, but now having arrived, being in London on her own caused her stomach to flutter.
The man seated opposite offered to help with her case, and she smiled thankfully at him. She waited for most of the other passengers to alight, and then followed behind. Without Scott to help her, she’d have to take her time.
Even on a Sunday night, London was a noisy, bustling city. Shivering in the cool night air, Lizzy pulled her coat tighter and walked slowly towards the exit, past vendors selling anything from hot dogs to cream buns and ice-creams. The combination of smells assaulted her senses, and she was thankful her morning sickness had passed.
A debate raged in her head most of the way. Should she find a cheap place to stay near the station, or should she go to the fancy hotel her parents always stayed at when they came to London? She’d be safer at The Kensington for sure, but could she afford it? Lizzy glanced at her watch. Eight o’clock. No, she couldn’t risk blowing all her money in one go. She’d find somewhere closer and cheaper.
She made her way to the taxi rank and joined the queue. She’d have to trust that the driver would know a suitable place. Whilst waiting, she looked around at the bustling city. It was the strangest feeling being in London, with absolutely no one knowing she was there. At least Daniel wouldn’t be able to find her, if he was even trying. He was probably drunk. Her heart ached for him. Oh Lord, please be with him.
A black cab pulled up in front of her. The driver, a short jolly looking, middle aged man wearing a brown flat cap, got out and helped with her bag, she assumed because of her ‘condition’, as she hadn’t seen any other drivers do this.
“Where to, Madam?”
The question she’d been dreading. Where to, indeed? Lizzy straightened herself and gulped.
“I’m really not quite sure…” She looked into the cab driver’s friendly eyes and relaxed a little. “Would you be able to suggest a hotel near here that’s not too expensive?”
“Sure, I can help with that. I think I know just the place.” He smiled and closed the door before climbing into the driver’s seat.
Lizzy watched the lights of London flash by without really seeing them. What was she doing here?
Safely inside the small but comfortable room at the Great Northern Hotel, Lizzy placed her bag on the rack and took off her jacket and scarf. She rubbed her back as she stood at the window, looking down on the busy road below. It had been a long day. Too long. She needed a shower. She turned and pulled her nightgown out of her bag and headed to the bathroom. As the warm water from the shower flowed over her body, Lizzy marvelled at how God had provided for her. First Scott, and then the cab driver. She closed her eyes and the tension of the day was washed away.
Maybe it was the unfamiliar bed or the noises of the city, or just because Daniel wasn’t beside her, but Lizzy had trouble sleeping. Daniel dominated her mind. All she could do was pray for him, but her heart was heavy as she imagined him coming home to the empty apartment. Did he expect her to be there? Did he expect her to keep her word? Maybe he hadn’t even come home. That was more likely.
Morning finally came. How easy it would have been to stay in bed all day, to hide from the world, but she had phone calls to make, so she got up. Sitting on the edge of her bed, her hands shook as she dialled the school’s number. In some ways, this was the easiest of all the calls. When the school’s receptionist answered, she asked to be put through to the principal. Maybe he wasn’t there yet. Lizzy closed her eyes and breathed deeply. She could do this. She had to do this.
“Elizabeth. This is unexpected,” the principal said when Lizzy explained she wouldn’t be coming in that morning, or anytime soon.
“Yes, I know. I’m so sorry for the short notice, Harold. Family problems. I don’t expect to be back before the end of term, and then I’ll be on maternity leave. I’m so sorry to do this to you.”
One down. Two to go.
Lizzy then dialled Nessa’s number. She’d be busy with the children, but she had to be told. How bad would it be if she found out through someone else?
Four rings. Would she answer?
“Hello.” Nessa sounded as if she’d been running.
“Nessa. It’s Lizzy.”
“Lizzy. Are you alright? You don’t sound good.”
Lizzy gulped and held back her tears. “Yes, kind of.” She sniffed and took a breath. “I’ve left Daniel.”
Nessa’s exclamation of shock flowed through the phone.
“Not forever, God willing.” Lizzy closed her eyes and felt for her cross. “Just until he sorts himself out.”
“Where are you, Liz? You can stay here if you want.”
“Thanks Nessa, but no, I left yesterday afternoon. I needed to go further away. But can you do me a favour?”
“Sure sweetie. Anything.”
“Can you keep an eye on Daniel?” Lizzy wiped her eyes. “I don’t know what he’ll do. He lost his job, Ness. And he didn’t tell me for two weeks.” She burst into tears.
“Oh Lizzy. You poor thing. I’m so sorry. I wish I could hug you.”
Lizzy sobbed, unable to reply.
“Let me come to you. Where are you?”
Lizzy sniffed and took a deep breath. “No Ness. I’ll be alright. Just look out for him.”
“Absolutely. Stay in touch, hey?”
Lizzy’s grip on the receiver tightened. She squeezed her eyes to stop her tears from flowing.
“Okay.”
She fell back on the bed and curled into a ball. Her parents could wait.
Lizzy woke two hours later with a growling stomach and checked her watch. If she hurried, she could just make breakfast. She dressed quickly, pulled her hair back, and dabbed on a little make-up to cover her blotchy face. The image staring back at her from the bathroom mirror wasn’t flattering, but what did it matter? She grabbed her purse and headed down to the breakfast room.
Only two people were there - an older couple who looked up as she entered. Lizzy smiled at them, and then headed straight for the toast and tea. That would have to do. There was very little left that appealed. At least her hunger pangs would be kept at bay for a while.
When the older couple left, her body relaxed. Why she’d been on edge she wasn’t sure. Nobody knew her or why she was on her own, but nevertheless, she’d been awkward and self-conscious with them there. She poured herself another tea and drank it slowly, allowing the sweet warm liquid to revitalise her.
The ma
in dilemma now was whether to stay another night, or go straight home. The prospect of facing Father answered the question. She’d stay another night, and go tomorrow morning. That way, there was no need to telephone until later.
A day in London. No point shopping. She couldn’t carry anything. Maybe she could pretend she was a tourist, and just wander around. Catch a bus. Walk through Hyde Park. Maybe even go to the theatre if she could get a ticket. She’d always wanted to see ‘The Mousetrap’. But could she do that guilt-free when she’d abandoned her class and had no idea what Daniel was doing, or even if he was okay?
Lizzy’s body sagged. Would it be like this the whole time she was away from him? Hadn’t she asked God to look after him and do whatever was necessary in his life to make him face his problems? Yes, so what was the problem? Lizzy swallowed the painful lump in her throat. The problem was her. She had to let go and trust God. But could she? She wrapped her hands around the still warm cup and leaned back in her seat. “Okay God, teach me to trust You. I’m sorry for asking You to look after him and then worrying about him straight away. I need to learn how to do it. Please teach me.”
With a much lighter heart, Lizzy returned to her room and prepared for her day out.
London put on a lovely autumn day for her. Warm enough to not be bothered with a heavy coat, Lizzy enjoyed the freedom of wandering around the city she hadn’t visited for many years, and never on her own. The experience was liberating. Later that afternoon as she sat in the upper circle of St Martin’s Theatre, she immersed herself in Agatha Christie’s suspenseful murder mystery, and was shocked, along with the rest of the audience, when the murderer was finally revealed.
Maybe she could stay another day… no, that would be decadent. She was really just putting off that phone call. Lizzy caught a bus back to the hotel and arrived in time for dinner, and then headed to her room where she took a shower. Her feet ached and her body was tired, but she’d had a great day. Making that call would spoil it. Could she put it off until the morning? Yes, she’d do that. She’d watch some television tonight, and get up early. With that settled, she leaned back on her bed and flicked on the television.
The Shadows Trilogy Box Set: A Christian Romance Page 13
