by Diana Bold
Clearing her throat and shaking her head, she applied herself toward serving the stew. She ladled a generous helping for each of them and placed the bowls on the rickety table. She wished she had china and a linen tablecloth. He made her want more than this shack. He made her believe more was possible.
When he’d finished washing up and changed into another of Caleb’s castoff shirts, he came to the table. He held out her chair, yet another first for her, then sank into his own with athletic grace.
She watched anxiously as he took his first bite. To her delight, he closed his eyes, savoring the simple broth like it was ambrosia. “Delicious,” he pronounced. “Thank you, darlin’.”
No one had thanked her for anything she’d done for so long she’d forgotten how it felt. A slow flush of pleasure and embarrassment burned her cheeks. “You’re welcome.”
He held her gaze for a long moment, then returned to his meal. “You know,” he mentioned casually. “We’re running pretty low on supplies. When you’re feeling up to it, I think we should head to town and stock up for winter. We have plenty of money. I can’t think why I put it off for so long.”
She didn’t have the faintest idea how to respond. Guilt warred with such gratitude she could hardly breathe. Now would be a perfect time to tell him the truth, but she’d come too far to turn back.
“We can go as soon as you like,” she answered. “I’m feeling much better already.”
He smiled and shook his head. “We’ll wait a few more days. I don’t want you to be too uncomfortable.”
She frowned and poked at the stew. “I don’t know if we can last a few more days. The cupboards are completely bare.”
“Maybe I should go by myself then,” he suggested. “That would probably be best. That way you can stay here with Carrie and recuperate.”
“No,” she said quickly. The idea of watching him ride away, knowing he could regain his memory at any time and never return, scared her to death. He might be so angry about her lies he wouldn’t return the horse and broken-down wagon, and then she’d be well and truly stuck here. “I want to come with you. It’s been almost a year since I left this place.”
When he found out the truth, she wanted to be by his side. She wanted the chance to explain and beg him to forgive her. She was well and truly caught in the web she’d spun, but she had to believe that once he found out the truth, he’d understand how it happened. How the truth had gotten cloudy, how she hadn’t been able to control her lies.
Caleb stared into Susannah’s lovely, pleading face, sensing once again that something was terribly wrong. She seemed frightened, as though she feared if he left, he wouldn’t come back. Guilt and frustration overwhelmed him. What had he done to this sweet girl? He couldn’t believe he’d stranded her in this ramshackle cabin in the middle of nowhere, forcing her to work like a slave with no friends or family to lean on.
Was he really the shiftless bastard he appeared to be? Everything within him balked at the idea. If he had done this to her, somehow he had to make it right. He intended to start by buying her a few luxuries when they went to town. She deserved so much more than he’d given her, and he still couldn’t understand why they were living this way when he had so much cash in his pocket.
So far she hadn’t shed much light on the subject. Every time he asked her a direct question about his past, or their life together, she evaded him deftly. He wasn’t sure if things had just been so bad she didn’t want to talk about it, or if she was trying to spare him the truth. Perhaps she hoped his head injury had made a different man of him.
He gave the cabin another disgusted glance. If this was who he truly was, he hoped he never regained his memory. Right now, sitting across the table from his lovely wife, he felt as though he had a real shot at happiness. He could fall in love with Susannah so easily… and he’d loved little Carrie since the first moment he’d held her in his arms.
Arousal still pulsed with pleasant heat through his veins. Their kiss had stunned him. He hadn’t expected to feel so much – passion, lust, and aching tenderness. He couldn’t wait to make love to her.
If he’d done something to hurt her, he wanted the chance to make it right. He wanted to take care of her and his daughter the way they deserved.
“All right, darlin’,” he said reassuringly, realizing she was still waiting anxiously for his answer. “You can come with me. We’ll take it slow, and I’ll rig up some padding on the seat so you and the baby aren’t jostled around so much.”
“Thank you.” Her smile was a beautiful thing to behold. So sweet, so grateful, so relieved. He wanted to make her smile like that more often. All the damned time.
* * * * *
The next afternoon, Susannah woke from a nap to find her new and improved husband had drawn a hot bath. The wooden tub was half full of steaming water, a luxury she seldom had the time or energy to manage herself. Usually, she made due with sponge baths or a dip in the river during the summer.
“I thought you could use a long hot bath,” he told her with a smile.
“Thank you,” she murmured, heat staining her cheeks at the thought of being naked in front of him, even after all the intimacy they’d already shared during Carrie’s birth.
“I’ll wait outside until you’re done.“ As though he’d read her mind, he slipped out the door, giving her one last reluctant glance.
Relieved, yet somehow strangely disappointed, she slipped hurriedly out of bed and stripped off her nightgown, sinking into the hot water with a soft sigh. Complete decadence. She hoped Carrie slept long enough for her to fully enjoy it.
She washed her hair with the last of the lavender shampoo Caleb had bought her during one of his rare winning streaks. By the time she reluctantly got out and dressed, her fingers and toes were wrinkled. Dismayed, she realized the water had grown lukewarm. She wanted him to be able to share what he’d given her, so she put the last two buckets of water he’d fetched on the fire as she combed out her hair.
When the buckets were boiling, she dumped them in the tub and then went to the door. “I heated the water back up for you.”
He smiled and stood up from the stump where he’d been whittling a toy for Carrie while he waited. “Thank you.”
He started toward the door, but then paused when she moved to take his place on the stump. “I was hoping you’d wash my back. And even if you don’t want to, there’s no reason for you to wait out here in the cold.”
“Of course, I’ll wash your back,” she agreed, feeling foolish. He was supposed to be her husband. She should never have made him wait out here while she bathed.
The cabin seemed extremely small once the door shut behind them. She busied herself with finding a clean towel and the woodsy soap Caleb had always favored while he got undressed behind her.
When she turned around, he’d already gotten into the tub. She froze for a moment, completely mesmerized by the sight of all that smooth golden skin and rippling muscle. Her mouth went dry at the thought of being able to touch him at her leisure.
He leaned back and gave her a sexy smile. “I’m all yours, darlin’.”
She sank to the floor beside the tub, hoping he couldn’t see how badly she trembled. “Lean forward,” she instructed softly.
He did as she asked, his long, lean body dwarfing the tub as he hugged his knees. His back was broad with muscle through his shoulders, then tapered neatly to his waist. The water revealed tantalizing glimpses of his hips and buttocks. She had a sudden, shocking fantasy of grasping him there as he thrust deep inside her.
“You don’t have to do this,” he murmured when she let several more moments tick by, obviously trying to hide his disappointment.
“No, it’s fine,” she managed, plunging the bar of soap in the warm water. “I’m fine. I’m just… admiring the view.”
He gave a soft, satisfied laugh and closed his eyes as she drew the soap across his smooth skin. She worked up a lather and then put the bar aside and rubbed his neck and sho
ulders deeply, massaging his muscles until he groaned in pleasure.
“If I’d known I’d get this sort of treatment, I’d have drawn us a bath every night.”
She smiled, pleased with his reaction. “I like touching you,” she admitted softly. “You’re so beautiful.”
He opened one eye and gave her a wry look. “Beautiful?”
She nodded vigorously. “Very much so.”
A deep laugh escaped him. “I’m pretty damned sure no one has ever called me beautiful before.” He drew his wet fingertips down her cheek with heartbreaking tenderness. “I never meant to hurt you, Susannah. I’m so glad you’re giving me another chance. I promise I won’t let you down this time.”
She caught her breath, utterly shattered by his sincerity. He was so good. She didn’t deserve him. “I believe you,” she whispered, reaching forward to press her lips to his. He responded fiercely, crushing her against his wet chest as he kissed her deeply, possessing her utterly.
Desperately wanting to make up for all her lies, she ran her hand down his flat belly, feeling his muscles contract and shudder beneath her touch. When she wrapped her hand around the length of his cock, he broke the kiss, staring at her in stunned delight.
“Yes,” he rasped, leaning back against the rim of the tub and watching her with a smoldering gaze. “I’ve been dying to feel your hands on me.”
Embarrassed, yet incredibly aroused, she stroked him tenderly, marveling at his length and thickness, imagining how it would feel to have him deep inside her. Making love to Caleb had always been a chore, but making love to this man would never be anything but pure joy.
He remained incredibly patient as she explored him, but soon she sensed his restlessness, his need for completion. “Stand up,” she whispered, shocked by her own daring.
Holding her gaze, he stood with that elegant power she so admired, water streaming down his magnificent body. Still on her knees beside the tub, she leaned forward and placed a tender kiss on the warm, wet head of his shaft.
“Christ,” he breathed, as she took his cock between her lips. “Susannah… darlin’… you’re an angel.”
He buried his hands in her damp hair as she learned what he liked; what made him catch his breath, and what made his hands tighten. His big body trembled beneath her touch, and the newfound power thrilled her. Caleb had forced her to do this, and she’d hated it. But giving this of her own free will, with the goal of pleasing a man who’d been nothing but good to her, made it into something altogether different.
Suddenly he jerked away with a stifled groan, and she watched with burning excitement as he wrapped his hand around himself and came, pumping himself mercilessly as stream after stream of ejaculate escaped between his fingers.
“Beautiful,” she whispered again, tears burning her eyes as he sank back into the tub in a boneless heap.
“You’re beautiful,” he murmured breathlessly. “What you did for me… it was indescribable.”
She blushed, but he caught her chin wouldn’t let her look away. “You’re a miracle to me. I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”
“You’re doing everything right,” she assured him. “Let’s just take this thing between us one day at a time and not worry about the past.”
He pulled her into a fierce hug. “Whatever you say, darlin’. Whatever you say.”
Chapter Four
Two weeks later, Susannah stood in front of the general store in Canon City, stretching as unobtrusively as possible, aching in every muscle. Despite the padding Caleb had placed on the hard seat, the long trip had been miserable.
He leaned into the wagon bed and lifted Carrie from the snug nest he’d fashioned for her. With a smile, he handed the baby over, gesturing toward the store. “Why don’t you go on inside? Browse a little. Find something nice for yourself. I want to spoil you today.”
She nodded a bit uncertainly. “What are you going to do?”
“I’ll join you soon,” he promised. “I’m just going to head over to the saloon and ask around a little, see if I can find out anything about who attacked me.”
A cold sense of foreboding washed over her. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? Maybe you should just come with me now.”
He smiled, but remained implacable. “I’ll be all right, darlin’. Don’t worry. I won’t be long.”
He brushed a kiss to her temple, then strode away, his shoulders squared and set with purpose. With a sigh, she turned toward the store, knowing it would be impossible to turn him from his course.
She stepped up onto the sidewalk, smiling a bit at a gentleman who stood outside the jail. As he smiled back, her gaze caught upon a wanted poster, tacked up with several others on the wall behind him.
She froze, stepping forward and scanning the details with growing dread. Four men were depicted on the poster, wanted for a bank robbery in Denver. There was a five-thousand-dollar reward for their capture. Dead or alive.
The one in the lower right hand corner was the man she’d found shot in her pasture with his pockets full of money.
Josh Morgan. His name was Josh Morgan.
Swallowing, she turned away from the poster, walking blindly into the store, her mind racing as she tried to reconcile her beautiful savior with the desperate criminal he obviously was.
Her first impression had been right. He’d been running from the law. Perhaps he’d never even lost his memory. Maybe he knew exactly who he was and was just pretending in order to have a safe place to hide out.
As quickly as that notion came, she dismissed it. Despite everything, she couldn’t bring herself to believe his kindness and passion were a lie. Whatever he’d done in his past, his heart was good and decent. She was sure of it.
She stared at the wide array of items on the shelves in front of her, thinking about the reward. She could stop this whole thing right now by simply going next door and telling the sheriff what had happened. He’d arrest Josh, and she could take the reward money and go back East. Five thousand dollars was a fortune. Enough to last the rest of her life if she invested wisely. She’d never have to be dependent on a man again.
Then she thought of Josh’s face when he kissed her; the awe in his eyes when he gazed down at Carrie. She couldn’t do it. She could never turn him in, not as long as there was a chance of making a life with him. Though only a few weeks had passed since she’d met him, she already couldn’t imagine living without him.
Not because she needed him, but because she wanted him.
* * * * *
By the time the shopkeeper filled their order, the sun had already dipped low in the west. Caleb had suspected they wouldn’t be able to make the whole trip in one day, but Susannah seemed strangely resistant to spend the night at the inn. She’d been nervous and jumpy ever since they’d arrived in town. He had no idea what lay behind her unease.
Did she fear he’d gamble away their money? Is that what he’d done in the past? Or was there something else, some other fatal flaw in his character he didn’t know about?
He wished he could calm her fears. Unfortunately, his damn memory loss made him impotent in so many maddening ways.
Pushing aside his frustration, he arranged for the local stable to bed down the horse and lock up the wagon for the night, then procured the best room at the inn before he retrieved Susannah and Carrie from the rocking chair in front of the General Store.
He had no intention of making his family journey home through the cold darkness. Whether she liked it or not, Susannah was going to get spoiled a little tonight. He truly thought her frugal nature was at the heart of her protests. She simply couldn’t bear to spend money on anything frivolous.
When he climbed the steps to her side, she seemed so tense he wondered if he’d been wrong, if it would be better for them to leave. He didn’t want to cause her so much stress. He knelt in front of her and took her icy hands in his.
“I got a room at the inn,” he told her softly.
“We should just go hom
e,” she replied, unmistakable fear in her voice.
He frowned and shook his head. “Don’t be silly. It’s already getting cold, and it will be difficult to drive home in the dark. We’ll have a nice dinner in our room at the inn, get a good night’s sleep, and then head home in the morning.” He paused and gave her a hard look. “Unless you can give me a good reason why we shouldn’t stay.”
She met his gaze for a long moment, and he could see her mind racing to come up with a good answer, something other than the truth. A chill took root deep inside him. What was she hiding?
At last, she sighed and gave him a tremulous smile. “Staying the night at the inn sounds lovely.”
He returned her smile with a hesitant one of his own and helped her to her feet. “Don’t worry,” he assured her as he guided her down the steps. “I won’t do anything to hurt you, darlin’. Have a little faith in me, all right?”
She looked up at him, tears filling her lovely blue eyes. “I do have faith in you,” she whispered. “I trust you with my life. With Carrie’s life. I hope that no matter what happens, you never forget that.”
He held her gaze, concerned by the dire undertones of her words. She’d been keeping far too many secrets from him, though he knew she had her reasons. Maybe tonight he’d finally coax them out of her. All he wanted was to prove himself worthy of her and the baby.
* * * * *
Susannah breathed a huge sigh of relief as Josh shut the door of the spacious hotel suite behind them. All afternoon, she’d been absolutely terrified someone would recognize him or that they’d run into the sheriff and this beautiful fairy tale she’d fabricated for herself would come crashing down. She thanked God people generally saw only what they expected to see. If he’d introduced himself as Caleb, no one expected to see a bank robber instead.
She had to tell Josh the truth. She couldn’t go on this way, constructing lie after lie after lie. Eventually, he was going to remember everything, and then she’d lose him. The thought sent a chill through her soul.
