by J. S. Cooper
“Well, if you’re sure.” She said uncertainly.
“So go ahead, spill it.” I said, trying not to grit my teeth and ask her instead why she hadn’t returned my texts or messages.
“So Luke and I went out last night.” She said hesitantly and it took everything in me to not tell her to just get on with it. I didn’t want to hear her story. I didn’t want to know anything about Luke. I didn’t want to her story at all. I didn’t care if she never saw him again. I didn’t care if I never heard about him again. He could drop off a cliff and die for all I cared.
“Continue.” I nodded, keeping all my other thoughts inside.
“So everything seemed to be going well.” She continues softly. “We had a lot of good eye contact, which is a good thing, right?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. If he wants to get in your pants, I said inside.
“So we were joking around and I thought everything was going really well. “ She paused and I watched as she nibbled on her lower lip. I stared at her lush pink lips for a few seconds and tried just to think about how they would feel on me sucking. I felt myself growing hard at the thought. What would she do if I reached over and pulled her on top of me? Would she let me take her again? Did she want that as well? Maybe that would make her forget Luke. Maybe that was what I needed to get over the craziness in my head again. Maybe I needed to have her again. She was still in my blood and I hadn’t had my fill of her. I wanted to touch her, feel her, wanted to be inside of her.
“Yeah, continue.” I said, trying to distract myself from where my thoughts were going. I wasn’t going to be able to stop myself from getting carried away if I kept thinking about making love to her. And I knew the last thing I needed to be doing was trying to seduce her again.
“Well, it was weird.” She said. “The mood just really changed at one point and I don’t know why.”
“What do you mean the mood changed?” I asked her genuinely curious. Was it over between her and Luke already? I couldn’t help feeling smug and happy inside.
“Well the smile left his face and he started talking about how he had to go home.” She said softly.
“Oh?” I gazed at her. “What happened right before that?” Yup, it was over! I wondered if it would be too much if I asked her to come over to my place to watch a movie?
“Honestly, I don’t know.” She shrugged. “Nothing. I don’t remember anything happening. We were just talking I didn’t say anything untoward I don’t think.”
“Hmm, that doesn’t make much sense though, something had to have been said for his mood to change.” I pretended like I still cared about the conversation while I thought about sliding inside of her from behind. I wondered if she liked doggy style. Who was I kidding? What woman didn’t like doggy-style?
“The conversation was fine, I thought.” She sighed and I could see a hurt and confused expression in her eyes. “We were just talking and then I got a text message.”
“Ooh, did you check your messages during the date?” I asked her. “That might have pissed him off.” I wondered who had texted her? Was it another guy? I frowned. Was she talking to more than one guy online?
“I didn’t check anything.” She shook her head. “I didn’t want to be rude, so I didn’t check.”
“Okay.” I frowned. So maybe she was really into this guy if she wasn’t even checking her messages on the date. For some reason, this displeased me even more and I tried to shake the feeling off. I couldn’t believe my mood was going up and down with the conversation. What was wrong with me? Was I becoming a girl?
“Yeah, I hate when guys are on their phones when on dates, so I never do it.” She said softly.
“Yeah, that’s rude. A clear sign of disinterest.” I said, as I gazed at her fingers in her lap, remembering when they’d been on me, touching me and teasing me.
“Yeah.” She nodded in agreement. “But yeah, he wasn’t on his phone and I wasn’t on mine. Though we both heard my phone beeping a couple of times.
“Hmm okay and that’s when everything changed?” I said, though I didn’t really want to continue the conversation.
“Yeah.” She nodded “And then basically at the end of the date, he told me he had to go and run some errands, but earlier he said that he wanted to take me to get ice cream.”
“Hmm, that’s weird.” I gave her a look. “So something turned him off.”
“Yeah, I mean I didn’t ask him about the ice cream again. I figured if he wanted to extend the date he would have brought it up, he already knew that I was down for it.”
“So then what happened?”
“Well then he paid, walked me to my car and left.” She made a face.
“And left?”
“Yup, no kiss, no hug, no nothing, not even eye contact really.”
“That’s weird.” Had they kissed before? Jealousy stirred in my stomach. Had her tongue been in his mouth? Had he touched her? I felt my hands curling into fists at the thought.
“Yup.” She nodded. “I just don’t understand.”
“And the date started well?”
“I thought it was going fantastically.” She made a face. “But maybe I have absolutely no clue.”
“Well, no, I’m sure you do. Maybe he got the vibe that you weren’t into him or maybe he realized that you’re a good girl and you weren’t going to sleep with him, which actually would make a lot of sense, because maybe that’s why he chose to forgo the ice cream. Maybe he was thinking the ice cream would be used for something else later that night. Maybe he had no plans to actually eat the ice cream.”
“What are you talking about?” Sally looked confused.
“I mean, maybe the ice cream was going to be used in the bedroom for a different sort of desert.”
“Oh?” Sally mouthed the word, looking at me with wide eyes. I felt a surge of happiness at her response. They obviously had not slept together if this was her response to my ice cream comment. I wasn’t sure why that made me so happy, but it did.
“Yeah, he most probably was thinking ice cream, whipped cream, maybe some chocolate sauce, but all for the bedroom and when he realized that wasn’t happening, he was like forget this. Let me not waste another $20.00 on this date.” I continued happily, my mind already thinking about licking whipped cream off of all of her private parts.
“Hmm.” Sally pursed her lips. “I’m not sure.” She made a face. “I don’t think he’s that kind of guy. He never made any comments like that on our previous dates.”
“Trust me, I know what I’m saying. I’m a guy. I know how we are.” I want to lick ice cream off of you right now, I thought to myself. And you can suck it off of me too, I thought, growing even harder.
“If you say so.” She looked away from me for a few seconds and for some reason that made me angry. Was she thinking about him?
“Did you really like him or something?” I snapped at her.
“Huh?” she looked back at me and blinked.
“You seem to care an awful lot about what this guy said or did. Forget him. There are much better guys out there.”
“I didn’t say I cared. I’m just confused.”
“No need to be confused. I just explained it all to you in a nutshell.”
“Okay. Thanks.” She nodded just as Mila walked back into the room with a bottle of wine and a bag of chips.
“Thanks for what?” Mila looked at me. “What advice did you give her?”
“I told her he just wanted sex and that is why he peaced out.”
“Cody, are you for real?” Mila sighed. “Why would you say that?”
“Because I know guys.” I shrugged. “You wanted me to give my honest opinion, right?” I looked at them both. “The dude realized he wasn’t going to get laid so he peaced out. It happens all the time.”
“I don’t think that Luke is like that.” Sally shook her head. “He doesn’t seem to be about sex.”
“Every guy is about sex.” I was exasperated at how clueless Sally was bein
g and how Mila was trying to make me out to be the bad guy. “Trust me I’m a guy. I know these things.”
“Every guy isn’t you, Cody.” Mila pursed her lips. “I’m sure there is a perfectly good explanation as to why Luke left.”
“Okay, so why ask me then?” I rolled my eyes and I could feel myself growing angry. Why was I wasting my time here in this situation? I was getting absolutely nothing from it. This wasn’t what I’d come for. This wasn’t what I wanted.
“We thought you could give us a male perspective. Well I thought that.” Mila sighed. “Sally didn’t really know you were coming.”
“I see.” I looked over at Sally then and watched her face and waited for her to look at me. “I texted you.” I said nonchalantly, like it wasn’t a big deal that I’d texted her several times and she hadn’t responded. Over ten times to be exact.
“Oh?” She looked up at me with a surprised expression.
“Is your phone broken?” I felt some sudden hope. Maybe that was why she hadn’t texted?
“Nope, why?” She answered quickly and then her face flushed as she realized why I’d asked her the question.
“No reason.” I shook my head. “I suppose you didn’t forget your Facebook password either?” I said with a smile, though my stomach was churning.
“I’ve just been busy.”
“With Luke? I know.” I looked away from her and I could see Mila looking at me curiously, studying my face and I stared back at her wondering what she was thinking.
“I’m going to the bathroom. I’ll be back.” She said abruptly and left the room. I stared at the door for a few seconds and then looked towards Sally.
“So how have you been?” I asked her quietly.
“Good.” She said simply.
“That’s good.” I replied. “I’ve been pretty good too.”
“That’s nice.” She nodded and I could tell that she wasn’t even engaged in our conversation.
“I’m sorry.” I stood up and walked over to her and crouched down next to her. “You know that right?”
“There’s nothing to be sorry about.” She shrugged and looked at me.
“Sally.” I grabbed her hand and she flinched away from me. “Sally.” I said, a little bit more harshly, hurt at her reaction. “Can we please talk?”
“Talk about what, Cody?” She sighed and glanced at me. “If it’s about the sex, it’s fine. We both enjoyed it. I’m over it. I’m not even thinking about it anymore, okay? I’m meeting new guys. I’m dating. I’m focusing on that.”
“Okay.” I frowned at her tone. If she was okay, why wasn’t she acting like she normally did? “You haven’t texted or messaged me back, so I figured something was up.”
“Like I said, I’ve been busy.”
“Too busy to text me back?” I said softly and I touched her face lightly. “Look at me please, Sally.”
“What do you want me to say, Cody?” She sighed and looked into my eyes. “I’m not sure what you want me to say. You’re confusing me.”
“I’m confusing you?” I stared back at her. “How am I confusing you? You’re the one not responding to my texts.”
“I just can’t do this.” She sighed. “Look it doesn’t matter, does it? Are you really that upset because I didn’t send you a couple of texts back?”
“It’s rude.” I said with a frown, my heart pounding. “And I was worried about you.”
“Then sorry.” She stood up abruptly. “I’ll be better.”
“Sally, what is going on?” I asked her frustrated and upset. “Why are you being this way?”
“I’m not being any way. I’m just tired.” She closed her eyes and sighed deeply before looking at me again.
“I’ve missed you.” I said sincerely, not knowing why I was telling her that. “I’ve missed hanging out with you and talking to you and spending time with you.”
“Thanks.” She said and gave me a weak smile.
“I know you don’t or won’t believe me, but I value your presence in my life.” I felt empty inside as I stared at her. “I miss being with you.”
“Okay.”
“I’m sorry about what I said about Luke.” I made a face. “Maybe I’m wrong.” I sighed. “Maybe I just said that because I wanted you to go off him. Maybe I’m jealous that you’re seeing someone.” The words tripped out of my mouth uncomfortably and we both just stood there and stared at each other for a few seconds. “Say something, Sally.”
“I don’t know what to say, Cody.” She sounded exasperated. “What do you want me to say? Do you want me to tell you that I like you? Is that what you want to hear?”
“You like me?” My heart raced at her words and I grinned at her.
“Don’t act like you didn’t know.” She rolled her eyes at me, but I could see her face flushing as she tried to read me. “This is hard for me, Cody. You’re confusing me. You’re so hot and cold and I just don’t know what you want from me. What you think of me? I just don’t understand you.”
“I don’t understand me sometimes as well.” I flashed her a small smile. “Come back with me to my place.” I asked her softly. “We can talk.” I walked towards her. “I want us to be on the same page. I don’t want you to think I’m being hot and cold. I like you as well, Sally.” I said and I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of my chest. “I really do like you. I’ve been thinking about you a lot recently.” I paused, not knowing what else to say. I wasn’t comfortable talking about feelings and I honestly didn’t really know what I felt. I knew that I’d been unhappy. I knew that I missed her. I knew that I’d felt guilty. I knew I wanted her in my life. But asides from that, I didn’t know what I wanted. I didn’t want to lie to her. I didn’t want to tell her things that weren’t true just because I thought she’d want to hear them. I didn’t know what to say because I didn’t really know how I felt.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Cody.” She stumbled over her words hesitantly and I knew that she wasn’t sure if she should come over.
“Please.” I asked her softly. “Just come over and let’s really talk and get over everything. I want everything to be normal between us again. We can watch a movie and eat ice cream. I know you love that.”
“You don’t want to watch a movie and eat ice cream.” She said with a smile.
“With you, I do.” I said with a nod. And I was being honest. I’d do anything in this moment just to be with her and make everything right in the world. I needed everything to go back to the way it was. I needed her to be okay with me. I needed to feel normal inside. I was fed up of the anxiety and angst. That wasn’t who I was. That wasn’t who I wanted to be. I didn’t want to feel this way. And I knew the only way to get rid of it was for Sally to forgive me so we could move on with our friendship and continue as we were. That’s all I wanted and needed.
“Okay.” She said uncertainly. “I’ll come and watch a movie with you, if you let me choose the movie.”
“Oh God, you’re going to pick a chick flick, aren’t you?” I groaned and she laughed.
“Hey you’re the one that wants me to come over.”
“Fine.” I made a face. “Just nothing too icky.”
“We’ll see.” She said light-heartedly and I felt my stomach settling slightly. Things were starting to get back to normal. She was laughing with me and looking me in the eyes. I could tell that her icy exterior was melting and she was warming towards me once again. Everything in my world would be back to normal soon.
* * *
“Bridget Jones Diary? Really?” I groaned as I leaned back in the couch and stared at the TV screen. “That’s what we’re watching?”
“Hey, you're lucky I’m here watching anything with you.” Sally shook her head and giggled slightly. “Mila thinks I'm crazy and I think I’m crazy so you should thank your lucky stars.”
“You’re not crazy.” I laughed. “At least not crazier than any other girl.”
“Why thanks, don’t I feel special?�
�� Sally pouted at me and I leaned over to tickle her.
“You should feel special. You should feel very special.” I said as she giggled and pulled away from me.
“Cody, stop it.” She squealed as I continued to make her squirm.
“Why?” I asked her softly, my face close to hers as I continued to tickle her under the arms, enjoying being close to her.
“Because we’re meant to be watching this movie.” She said between laughs, her eyes bright as she gazed at me.
“You watch and I tickle. Seems like a fair deal.” I said, my face close to hers now. “Right?”
“No.” She shook her head as she gazed back at me. I stared at her lips and I knew what I wanted to do, though I was trying to stop myself from doing it.
“Why no?” I said as I leaned in closer, my lips a mere inch from hers.
“Cody, what are you doing?” She asked breathlessly, her eyes widening.
“Saying sorry.” I said before leaning in to kiss her. Her lips were slightly parted as mine met hers and they tasted sweet as I pressed mine against her. I felt my body sinking into hers, melding into her in a way that felt so right. My tongue entered her mouth quickly and I pushed her back against the couch so that I could adjust my position. Sally kissed me back eagerly and I felt her tongue against mine as her hands fell to my shoulders. We kissed deeply, passionately, wantonly and my hands fell to her breasts and ran over them gently. Our breathing was heavy and I didn’t want to pull away, but I knew I had too before I had her clothes off and naked on my couch.
“I hope that my apology sufficed.” I said as I pulled away from her reluctantly, a few seconds later.
“It did.” She squeaked out and licked her lips. She stared at me for a few seconds and then groaned. “What am I doing?” She shook her head and I frowned.
“What are you talking about?” I could feel myself getting annoyed. Was she mad that I’d kissed her? That she’d kissed me back?
“I just, I don’t know.” She bit down on her lower lip. “I’m not sure it was a good idea for me to come over and then to let you kiss me.” She sighed. “I just don’t know what I’m doing.”
