by Selina Rosen
She was aware of being asleep, which was in itself a weird beginning to a dream. She was asleep, and she was watching herself and Carrie sleep. Then she was flying out of the house over the rooftops of the city. She made out the park and the hospital where Henry was. Henry was sitting on the hospital roof; he waved at her. She flew over and sat down beside him.
"Henry, man . . . I didn't know you could get out of there!" she said excitedly.
"Well, I'm not staying in there all day. It's fucking duller than shit. This is pretty cool, though. I kind of float around the city at night and look in on people. Saw a couple having sado-masochistic sex the other night, that was entertaining."
"You're a voyeur!" Spider laughed.
"Hey! When you can't do, you watch. Do you think it's wrong?"
"Nah! I think it's a victimless crime as long as the person doesn't know they're being watched," Spider answered. "Carrie disagrees, but what the hell does she know? Henry . . . Why did you try to save Scott?"
"You've asked me that a thousand times. It took you long enough to get up here so I could answer. I don't really know why; I didn't know him. I can tell you this, though, I don't know if I would have been as heroic if I had known one of those assholes had a gun. I saw three guys beating up one guy and I figured I was closing the odds. I always did have the shittiest luck. I was engaged once. Caught my fiancée having sex with my retarded cousin, Brian. I got dysentery the night of my senior prom. It kind of makes sense that I'd run in to help a guy in a simple fist-a-cuff and get myself shot. Then here I sit—or lay, rather for . . . how many years?"
"Sixteen," Spider said.
"Wow that's a bitch. If I'd had to lay in that fucking bed all that time I'd be nuts, and if you didn't come to visit me every day I'd be nuts anyway. Of course, talk about dull! Until this last year you had less of a life than I did."
"Henry . . . You know, lots of times I felt like you were the only one I could really talk to . . . "
"Which is really pathetic considering that I couldn't talk back."
"I've tried to do what's best for you, but I'm admitting it now, I don't really know what the hell that is. Are you happy like this, or would you rather be dead?"
He seemed to think about that for a minute. "Well, floating around watching other people was kind of like the ultimate TV. I can even go to other countries and other worlds. It was a real trip for about the first ten years, but after awhile . . . Well, watching isn't doing. I can't feel anything, touch anyone, and vicarious pleasure can only get you so far. I run into someone else floating around up here every once in awhile, and I've had some really great conversations, but we're mostly in agreement. We're ready to go on."
"Go on where?" Spider asked.
Henry shrugged. "Who knows? I just know there's something, and I'm ready to go now if you can let me go."
Spider looked at him. "I know it's stupid, but by keeping you alive it was like I was keeping Scott alive. He was the only one who ever really cared about me."
"It is stupid, and now there are people who care as much about you as Scott did. So it's time for you to go on, too."
When Spider woke up she felt rested. She remembered the dream and smiled.
"What?" Carrie asked. She was pulling on her robe.
"Just thinking how lucky I am. To be with you, to love you and to have you love me. Whatever happens now they can't take this time that we're having right now away from us. Do you know what I'm saying?"
Carrie smiled back at her and nodded. "Let's worry about what's going to happen when it happens." She took off her robe and lay back down beside Spider.
Spider held her close, enjoying the way she felt in her arms, imprinting it in her memory for a time when she might not be able to hold her. "I want you to meet a friend of mine."
"Right now?" Carrie asked in a disappointed tone of voice.
Spider laughed. "No, not right now."
Carrie looked down at the sleeping man in the bed. "Maybe we should come back later when he's awake," she whispered to Spider.
"He doesn't wake up. He's in a coma. He's been in a coma for sixteen years. For that sixteen years, ever since I got out of the service, barely a day has gone by that I didn't come and visit him. He's where all my money goes. Henry is why I never have any extra spending money."
"Henry. This isn't Scott, then. Excuse me, Honey, but I don't get it."
"Scott is dead. Henry wound up here because he tried to save Scott. He had no parents or siblings, only distant relatives none of whom were interested in him. I didn't know where he was, but I did know that he thinks, that he feels, because I can feel him. He has normal brain function. Henry got like this trying to protect Scott, and if I had been here maybe I could have saved Scott. Maybe Henry would be married with three kids right now. I didn't want him put into some filthy state home. It just didn't seem right."
Carrie looked at Spider for a minute and then started to cry.
"Why are you crying? I'm really not insane . . . "
"That's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard," Carrie cried. "You're one of a kind."
"Maybe yes, and maybe no." Spider smiled. "At any rate, I figured there are enough things that I can't tell you, so I wanted you to meet Henry. So . . . you don't think I'm crazy?"
"Oh, this is definitely crazy." Carrie laughed, drying her eyes. "But it's exactly the kind of thing I would expect you to do."
"He wants to go now. I always wondered whether he did or not, and now I know that he does. He wants to go, and his body won't let him."
Carrie nodded, trying to pretend like she didn't think that was the most insane thing Spider had said yet.
They sat and talked to Henry for some fifteen minutes and then they left.
Spider drove home.
"Well, at least now I know you're not spending all your money on some trollop," Carrie said. "I was beginning to wonder just where the hell you went after work. I figured it must be one of those Don't ask or they'll kill you things, so I didn't ask."
"Carrie, I . . . " She took a deep breath. Damn, this was hard.
"What is it, Baby?"
"I need money."
"How much?"
"I . . . About five thousand dollars in cash," Spider said. "Do you have it?"
"I . . . don't have it readily available, but I can get my hands on it in an afternoon's time. All I have to do is cash a CD. Can I ask what you need it for?"
Spider shot her a look.
"OK, stupid question." Carrie shook her head, and once again wondered when she had lost control of her life.
Robby opened the manila envelope carefully and away from prying eyes. He counted the money and then counted it again. The instructions were simple but clear.
Obviously, Spider thought things were going to get worse before they got better. He burned the note and pushed the money down deep in his pocket. He'd never seen that much money in his life. All the things he could do for the kids with that money! But the money was ear marked for something else, her instructions were clear.
He owed her. After all, it was his fault she'd been caught up in this whole mess. He ran his hands over his head. She was where she was partly because she had laid her ass on the line covering his. Now he had to play by her game plan; put his life into her hands. He wasn't used to doing that. Wasn't used to not being the one to have to make the big decisions. It was a relief, and it scared the hell out of him at the same time.
The only real decision being left up to him at the present time was how he was going to make sure that his family was taken care of. He didn't know how much time he'd have, but he was pretty certain that it wouldn't be a lot. Not enough to put back any huge amount of money.
After a few more minutes thought he did the only thing he could do. He walked into the house. "Kids, Grandma, we have to have a meeting!"
He looked around at them. By the looks on their faces they knew something was going on. He took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds, and then he look
ed straight at Evan and started.
"I might have to go away. I don't know for how long. Doesn't matter why. Just know that it's not because I want to, and it's not because I'm going to jail or anything like that. Here's the thing—there's a little in savings but not a lot. It won't last you long at all if you start digging into it."
"We can manage on my check if we have to, Baby." His grandmother was close to tears.
"Evan can run my trash route, and since he'll have the truck he won't have to save the money for a car."
"I can keep my job at the store, too . . . "
Robby cut Evan short shaking his head no violently.
"No, you take time off. The trash business makes good money, and if everyone pitches in there is no reason that you can't go to school, date, have a life. You do have to grow up, Evan, but not all the way, and not all at once."
"Janice, maybe you can get Evan's job at the store."
She nodded, looking sad. "What are we going to do without you, Robby?" She cried, got up, ran over and hugged him. "We haven't ever had to do it without you before."
Robby patted her back, swallowed the lump in his throat, and pushed her to arm's length. "Janice, I've always counted on you to do what's right. To be the little mother. You just keep doing what you're doing. See if you can't get Evan's job in the grocery store and things will be great. Now go sit down. If you want permission to do anything you'll have to go through Grandma. Does everyone understand?"
"Yes, Robby," they said in unison.
"We've only existed this long because you've listened to what I told you. Don't forget what I've tried to teach you and you'll be fine. If you treat my being gone like a holiday, you won't make it, and that's a fact."
He spent the rest of the night lining things out for them. When he was done he went out to the truck ready to start his night run.
Janice and Evan followed him.
"Well?" he asked.
"Robby . . . " Evan started but couldn't finish.
Janice did it for him. "Are we going to be like you?"
Robby laughed. "No, you aren't going to be like me, and no one will come after you. If anyone asks about me, tell them I'm going into the service like I told you. Now go on back in the house."
They left. Robby smiled, shook his head and popped the hood. He checked the oil, added some, and slammed the hood closed again. He saw Donna standing there looking worried. Like the weight of the world was on her shoulders. Donna had always worried too much.
"Everything will be all right, Donna."
"For us. But what about for you?" Donna walked over, jumped up and sat on his workbench. "I'm worried about what will happen to you, Robby."
"Don't you worry about me, Donna. I can take care of myself."
"Sometimes it makes me cry," Donna said.
"What, Donna? What makes you cry?"
"That you take care of everybody and no one takes care of you. You spend all your time fixing things and cleaning up other people's messes. What's going to happen to you now, Robby? What's going to happen to you?" She sniffled and wiped her face on the back of her fist. "It's not fair, Robby. It's not . . . "
"Donna, if there's one thing that I have learned, it's that life isn't very often fair. But sometimes the things that you think are the worst turn out to be the best. Look at us, look at me. I didn't ask to raise seven kids, but I wouldn't change things. I love you all because you're my family. I hope that I have at least helped get you on the right path, and if I have, if you grow up into healthy happy people, then what else do I need to accomplish with my life? I'm counting on you, Donna, more than anyone else."
Donna sniffled again. "Me! Why me?"
"Because you're the smartest, Donna. Have been since the day you were born. Grandma's smart, but she's old and she forgets things, and it's getting harder for her to get around. Evan's a good kid, he's got a good heart, and he means well. But, as we all know, he's got piss poor judgment. Don't be afraid to tell him if he's screwing up. Janice is good with the babies, and she's got a lot of love to give, but she's a pushover. Tell her to stand up for herself. Colistia, now Colistia has talent. With the right encouragement she'll be a great singer someday, I'm sure of it. Colistia loves us because we're her family, but her head is too much in the clouds most of the time to help much with worldly things."
Donna laughed, and Robby smiled.
"We need to encourage her, but don't forget to make her come down to earth every once in awhile. Devan . . . now that boy is a worker, a mover and a shaker. He'll always make a living, but don't let him forget to have fun sometimes. Elvita likes to laugh—a happier child was never born. But we both know that Mama's drug habit left its mark on her brain. She's never going to be very bright, and people will try to push her around and use her. She's going to have to learn early in the game that she can't take anything at face value, not to trust people till they have proved they can be trusted."
Robbie paused for a moment to clear the frog out of his throat. "Duane is mechanical, so he's going to be able to fix things like me and like Granddad did. He already knows how to take things apart and put them together, but he's got a temper on him. You'll all have to work real hard at teaching him that kind of behavior won't take him very far."
"You, Donna, are the shiniest apple in this barrel. You're smart, and you're good looking. You've got a good head on your shoulders. You've got good instincts and people like you. You can be anything that you want to be, Donna. Don't let the family down, they need you, and I need to know that you'll be there for them. But don't let them stop you, either. You can soar with the eagles, girl, there isn't any doubt about that. Don't worry so damn much. Let me tell you something else that I've learned. If something can be fixed, then you can fix it. If it can't be fixed, then no one can fix it. So there's no need to worry about it. You work with what you've got and you go on."
She nodded, jumped off the workbench, ran over and hugged Robby tight. "I love you, Robby, better than anything."
"I love you, too, kiddo. Don't forget what I said. When people put you down or don't believe in you, then you pick yourself up and believe in yourself. Because I don't count myself a fool, and I sure have faith in you."
Chapter Fifteen
"I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race
is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor
yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to the under-
standing, nor yet favor to men of skill; but time and
chance happens to them all." Ecclesiastes 9:11
No new Fry Guy killings in two months. Jason had assumed they were being called back to the main office to be debriefed and sent home. He knew that wasn't the case as soon as he saw the look on Deacon's face.
"Sit down," Deacon ordered. He picked up the small stack of papers on his desk and looked at the top one. "Know what this is?"
Jason and Kirk shook their heads silently.
"It's an order from the top. They want the Fry Guy, and they want him now."
"What?" Kirk said. "But . . . there hasn't been a Fry Guy killing in two months! He could be in another country by now for all we know."
"Well, they don't think so," Deacon said. "For that matter neither do I. Apparently this guy is something of a marvel to them, and they want him back here for testing."
"We're supposed to bring this mother fucker in!" Jason screamed. "Are they nuts! I thought they wanted us to shoot him or something. This guy fries people's brains. How do you catch someone like that?"
Jason never opened up his face in the office, so both Deacon and Kirk were a little shocked by his outburst.
"They said they'd take care of capturing him when the time came. All they want us to do is to put pressure on Spider Webb. They'll have their boys on hand if we need any help."
Kirk smiled. "So they want us to put pressure on Spider Webb?"
"Don't be so fucking smug, Kirk. Between you and me I think it's a bad idea. I'm just glad I'll be here behin
d this desk while you do it. Carrie Long is still off limits, but just about anything else goes. Here's what I want you to do . . . "
"This is the stupidest fucking thing," Tommy swore. "A fucking locker search, fucking haven't gone through this since high school." He waited beside his locker.
"They've had shit come up missing from the evidence room, and there really isn't a hell of a lot left that they can do," Spider said.
"Look at the fucking video on the lock-up area."
"Those can be rigged too easy, remember?" Spider said.
