by Diana Gardin
“Good for you,” he says. The pride seeps out of his voice, making me smile. “Show him exactly who Berkeley is. You’re so strong, baby. You can do anything you want to do.”
More than anything, at this moment, I wish his strong arms were wrapped around me so I can feel the truth in his words. I’m not nearly as sure as he is. But I can draw from the strength he gives me. The strength he’s given me since the first night I spent alone with him.
“I’ll text you when I get to Mea’s, okay?”
“Okay. Be safe. I…I’m thinking about you.”
I smile as I press END, and throw the phone on the nightstand.
It takes me about half an hour to pack my suitcase full of everything I think I need from my room. Mostly clothes, shoes, and toiletries. I’m lucky my bag is humongous. When I wheel it behind me to the landing, ready to lug it down the steps behind me, I hear a snippet of voices coming from the entryway below.
Male voices.
I creep down a step, peeking through the iron railing to see if I can catch sight of the owners of the voices. I can’t; they’re actually farther into the hallway.
I noiselessly steal down two more steps, listening.
“You haven’t fulfilled your end of the bargain, son. I have. What choice do I have now?” The Admiral’s voice is unusually quiet, dangerously low.
“What am I supposed to do? Tie her up and make her love me? I can’t force emotions on her she doesn’t feel! I tried. She’s with someone else. And even if she wasn’t…I don’t think I’d be the guy for her. I have to respect her decision.”
I cover my mouth with both hands when I hear Grisham’s anguished reply. Oh, hell no.
“I thought you were a stronger man than that. Women need to be convinced, pushed. I thought you had it in you to be stronger than my daughter’s will. I guess I was wrong. Was I also wrong when I recommended you for the position at NBSD? All it takes is a phone call, Grisham. Your father has clout, but not nearly as much as I do. I got you that job with the promise that you’d be taking my daughter with you and starting the life with her that she needs and deserves. You’ve failed, it seems.”
I stand up, unable to listen to any more of the bullshit spewing out of their mouths. My legs tremble, but I grab the handle of my suitcase and pull it loudly down the steps behind me. When I reach the bottom, I race for the front door, slamming it behind me. I’m in the Escalade and pulling away before anyone follows, and I text Mea on the way to let her know I’ll be crashing at her apartment.
Indefinitely.
I wake to the chiming of my phone. I groan, squeezing my eyes shut. When the chiming continues, I peek one eye open and stare around me. Where am I?
Oh, yeah. I’m sleeping on an air mattress on the floor of Mea’s room in her three-bedroom apartment. Still lying on my stomach atop the mattress, I look over at her bed. Empty. I wrinkle my nose. Mea is such a morning person.
Next, I reach over and check my phone’s busy screen. It’s just after nine in the morning, and I have four missed calls and three texts. Scrolling through the texts first, a smile is brought to my lips.
Dare: I know you’re not awake yet, and if you are you’re really hating life. I’m at the garage, call me or better yet, just come show me your beautiful face.
The second text makes me laugh.
Wake up! I’m coming to jump on you if you aren’t out here by ten.
Ugh. She’s probably already completed a round of morning yoga.
The third text pulls my mouth into a snarl.
Came to check in on you last night and heard you leave. Worried about you, Berk. Call me.
Grisham. Came to check on me? Yeah, right, if checking on me involves plotting about me with my father. Just thinking about it sends hot flames of angry confusion skimming through me. I never had to consider Grisham’s intentions. I just knew without a doubt that he was on my side. That he understood what it was like having parents like mine, because his were almost as bad.
But he’d been playing by my father’s rules all along. For a coveted position in a fantastic location.
I decide to shoot Dare a text before I appease Mea’s demand.
Awake and so not loving it. Loving seeing your name on my phone first thing, though. Headed to work in a bit for the lunch shift, but I’m free for dinner!
I literally roll out of the bed, very ungracefully, and crash onto the floor. I’m sure the resounding thud lets Mea know that I’m indeed awake, but I throw on a pair of cutoff sweats and a tank top anyway.
She better have coffee ready.
Before I leave her bedroom, my phone chimes and I glance at Dare’s message.
Have Mea drive you to work so I can pick you up after. Missing you.
When I venture into the living room, Mea is upside down. Literally. Her tiny, lithe body is flush against the wall, her pointed toes reaching for the ceiling. She smiles serenely at me, and I turn to her roommate, Greta, who’s sitting at the bar with a cup of coffee and a bagel.
“Good morning, Berkeley,” says Greta.
We don’t know each other very well; she and Mea met in college and moved in together in Lone Sands just after graduation. But from what I know, I like her a lot. She’s also from Brunswick County, but a little farther from the beach than Lone Sands. She’s sweet to Mea’s sassy, and down-to-earth to Mea’s flighty. She balances out my friend perfectly. Her long, dark hair almost reaches her waist, and she’s much, much taller than both Mea and I. In my head, I call her Greta the Gorgeous.
Her stunning, crystal-blue eyes lock on mine as she takes in my appearance. Crap, I didn’t even check myself in the mirror yet. I was too focused on achieving a caffeine high as quickly as possible.
“You look tired,” she announces, sliding a mug in my direction. “Mea said you had a rough night. I’m so sorry, Berkeley.”
I grab the mug and start pouring. “Thanks, Greta. Parents suck sometimes, you know?”
She nods sympathetically. “I know. Mine are split up, and I could write a book on all the crap they’ve put me and my little sisters through.”
I study her. Her face is drawn at the mention of her parents. I decide there’s a darkness there worth pulling out, but today isn’t the day. Maybe I’ll get to know her better soon.
Mea gracefully lowers her legs from the wall and flips herself upright. Her eyes are alight and her smile is bright as she bounces over to the little kitchen. Kissing me on the cheek, she opens the fridge and grabs a tiny carton of organic soy milk. She stares disapprovingly at our mugs of coffee.
“Don’t start,” I warn.
“Wasn’t going to,” she snaps back. “It’s your funeral.” Then her serene smile is back. “I’m glad you’re here, Berk. You needed to cut the cord anyway. How’s Dare?”
The question is innocent, too innocent. I narrow my eyes at her. “He’s fine. Seeing him for dinner tonight. Why?”
She focuses on an invisible speck of dirt on the countertop, polishing the gleaming surface with her thumb.
“Mea? Why were you so mean to Drake last night?”
“Who’s Drake?” asks Greta, her interest piqued.
“Dare’s roommate,” I tell her. “Mea was a raving—”
“Easy!” Mea glares at me. “He was too pushy.”
As long as I’ve known Mea, she’s never had a serious boyfriend. I naturally thought she and Drake would hit it off, but apparently I was so very wrong. However, her reaction to him was extreme, and I’m more than a little confused by it.
She continues under her breath. “Buying me a drink.”
“Oh, the horror,” says Greta, her face contorting in mock shock. “How dare he!”
She earns Mea’s trademark eye daggers. “You weren’t there. He’s all huge and gorgeous, and then he smiles like he has a secret none of the rest of us know about. And I don’t let guys buy me drinks. You know my rules.”
Yes, we all know the rules. Mea has a strict no-dating rule. I know she doesn’t tr
ust men because of the strained relationship she has with her father. She refuses to link the two, though. She’s an expert at closing off the hurt and pain her father’s absence and indifference has caused her, and the subject is always off-limits. She’s totally put-together and peaceful on the outside, with her yoga and all-natural healthful diet, but I know the issues with her family have eaten up her heart until she had to build a concrete wall around it.
“I’ve gotta get to work in a bit, Mea, will you drive me?”
She nods.
“Thank you.” I slide off the stool and wrap my arms around her thin frame. “And thank you for leaving your door open for me last night.”
“I’ve always got your back,” she whispers in my ear. It’s so true. She’s always been my cheerleader when I didn’t think I could stand up to my parents. Anytime I need Mea, she’s there.
As I’m passing the closed door of the third bedroom at the front of the hall, I pause. “When’s your third roommate moving in?”
Mea sighs dramatically. “She’s not. Found out she didn’t get the job she thought she had in the bag, so she’s staying up north.” Her eyes meet mine, and she smiles so big her cheeks crease. “Berkeley!”
“What?”
“You can be our third roommate!”
“Oh, my God,” exclaims Greta. “That’s the best idea ever! Say yes, Berkley!”
I shift, looking from the empty third bedroom to Mea, to Greta. There were so many times in the past that Mea and I talked about living together. Could this really be the time we can make it happen?
“You guys…I don’t have the job I want yet, either. I don’t make much at See Food. My parents will never support this. I don’t give a flying freak about their opinion, but I do need to find a way to support myself. I don’t know…”
But suddenly, I do know. I know how much I want this, and I know that’s all it will take for me to make it happen. Suddenly, the idea of having my own space with two amazing girls pushes aside the hurt and anger I feel about my father and Grisham conspiring to run my life behind my back. I imagine having my own space to bring Dare to, and my face grows warm with want.
I need this.
“I know that look.” Mea waves a hand dismissively and goes to sit on the couch. “We’ll move you in this weekend.”
The dark-haired beauty squeals.
I have an apartment of my very own. I fly down the hallway to Mea’s room. I have some résumés to e-mail out before I head to See Food.
21
Dare
I have news. Big, big, BIG! news.
The text from Berkeley puts a curious smile on my face. I know she’ll be at See Food for the afternoon shift today, and I plan on picking her up after I shower off the oil and grease from the garage.
I, unbeknownst to Berkeley, have big news, too. Or, more like big plans.
Making plans with someone else in mind, a mouth-wateringly beautiful someone especially, is becoming a habit. Berkeley’s taking my previously ordered, solitary life and turning it upside down. Something like that should be freaking me out, sending me running to build all kinds of walls and steel-reinforced doors around myself to keep her out. All my life, getting close to people has left me in pain. People go away, or they send you away, or they hurt you. It’s what I learned growing up, first with the death of my parents and then with every horrible home I was placed in afterward. I never got a break, not until I aged out and took my life into my own hands.
But I haven’t been able to keep Berkeley at arm’s length. I picture her face in my head and realize I never had a chance.
It’s impossible not to…feel when I’m around her.
After lunch, I complete two tire rotations and a transmission replacement before cutting out for the day. On the way home, I make a quick phone call to ensure all the arrangements I’ve made are still firmly in place, and thank a friend for helping me with them.
“Can I talk to you a minute?” asks Chase when I walk in the front door.
I nod, knowing that we haven’t discussed how I can help him beyond our last conversation where he told me about Shay. “Yeah.”
He waits for me to take a seat on the couch before diving in. “I don’t want to take your money, Dare.”
I shake my head slowly, focusing on Chase’s face. His expression is intense, he’s looking me straight in the eye, and I know there’s no bullshit in his words. “Come again?”
He stands, pacing toward the massive stone fireplace and spins around to face me. His hands are clasped behind his neck. “I don’t, Dare. I don’t want to do this to you anymore. I can figure it out. I really just need your brain. Help me figure out how to help her, man.”
I nod, slowly. “I’m working on it, Chase. I promise. When you go back to Florida, it will be with a plan to get Shay away from that dickwad Chavez. Okay?”
He closes his eyes and blows out a harsh, anxious breath. “Okay.”
“Have you talked to her today? Is she doing okay?”
He shakes his head. “No, I haven’t. I think she’s hanging in there, but she’s cautious. I don’t get to talk to her that often. Only when Chavez is out and he hasn’t yanked her along with him. Sometimes he has her running errands for him, and it’s dangerous. I can’t stand the way he uses her. It drive me up the goddamned wall.”
I nod sympathetically. I can picture losing my shit if some ruthless criminal had his hands on Berkeley. The thought ignites a fire inside me, sending me to a dark, dark place in my head I haven’t been in a long time.
“What other…business ventures is Chavez involved in?” I ask suddenly. I lean forward, elbows on my knees, hands clasped in front of me. Something’s struck me about Chase’s situation, but I need more information in order to put the pieces together for the plan formulating in my brain.
Chase’s hand comes up to scratch his temple thoughtfully. “Uh…other than the gambling? It’s mostly that…but I think he also does some smuggling when he can get a big enough cut. It’s not his main thing, it’s more of a side hustle. Why?”
I nod, rubbing my palms together absently. “Just wondering. What kind of smuggling?”
Chase shrugs, lifting one shoulder into the air before dropping it and folding his arms across his chest. “Drugs. Pills. The high-dollar stuff that suburban housewives trip out on.”
“So, it seems like our friend Chavez doesn’t like to get his hands too dirty. He deals with pretty light stuff, considering.”
Chase snorts. “Considering what?”
“Considering it could be worse. You think he’s capable of putting someone in the ground?”
Chase narrowed his eyes. “You think I want to take the chance? Not when Shay’s in there with him.”
I nod. “Yeah. I get that. I think we can set him up, somehow. Make him an offer that he can’t refuse, something that will end up with him a lot richer if he does what we say. We just need to work out the details.”
Chase nods slowly, pushing up off the stone behind him and walking to the middle of the room. He stops directly in front of the couch, the beginning of a smile playing on his lips. “Yeah. I think we can do that.”
I stand. “I gotta go shower real quick. I’m supposed to pick up Berkeley at work.”
Chase nods. “Yeah, man. Thanks for listening. See you.”
I clap him on the shoulder as I slide past him on my way to the bathroom. “I’ve got you, Chase. Don’t worry.”
After I’ve showered and dressed in jeans and a white tee, I nod to Chase on my way out the door. In the driveway, Drake is pulling in as I open my truck door.
“All set for tonight?” he asks, smirking.
I’ve told him some of what I have planned for Berkeley, and the twinkle in his eyes lets me know that I’m going to end up wishing I hadn’t said a thing.
“Yeah,” I say warily. “Are you jealous? Because if you are, Drake, you can come. I’m sure Berkeley doesn’t mind sharing me.”
He shakes his head. “I’m
good. Get out of here.”
He bumps my fist as he walks by my truck door.
The entire drive to get Berkeley from See Food, I’m in my own head. I’m practicing for every scenario. What will I do if my guy didn’t set up everything according to my strict instructions? What will I do if Berkeley hates the whole thing? I plan for every contingency. That’s who I am. That’s who I’ve been trained to be.
And that’s how I keep a chokehold on the control of my life.
Better than anyone, I know that’s borderline fucked-up. If I could help it, I would. In this case, I’m hoping it earns me points. Serious, sexy, brownie points with Berkeley.
When I pull up in front of the restaurant, she comes running out the front door. I smile, opening my truck door.
“I was coming in to get you,” I point out as I walk toward her.
I grunt as she slams into me, her arms winding around my neck. When I look down at her, her caramel eyes are bright and her dimples are denting her cheeks. Damn. She’s pressed against me in every place that matters, and her body is so plush, all I want to do is squeeze. Then I mentally punch myself. Because her lips are moving and I’m not hearing a word.
“I’m so happy to see you.” She breathes, her sweet-smelling breath tickling my chin.
Cupping her face, I gaze down at her, a complete and utter goner, and return her smile. “Yeah? I like it when you show me how happy you are by tackling me. Very effective. Genius, even.”
She giggles softly, blowing the chunk of hair out of her eye. “Genius? You’re admitting that in our little duo, I’m the smart one?”
I nod. “I’m admitting that you are definitely the smart one. And I’m the one who’s about to blow your mind in a few minutes.”
She pulls back, and I grumble inwardly about the loss of flush body contact. I slide my hands down to her hips and pull her back against me. Much better.
