When the phone rang, Jan jumped. She had spent hours preparing herself for the call, but it did no good. The past three times, someone other than Beth had been on the line. A plumbing company, checking to make sure her pipes were still working. A woman from church, wondering if Jan would be willing to help teach Vacation Bible School. And Billy, asking if she would mind doing his laundry just one last time, because he had gotten really busy at work, and he would never ask again.
“Here,” Jim said, hauling himself to his feet. “I’ll hang the picture while you get the phone. It’s bound to be her this time.”
How had he known whom she was expecting? Jan fretted at having let Jim so far into her life when she hadn’t intended to at all. Now they were going to church together every Sunday, eating supper out at least once a week and taking Trixie for her last walk most evenings. This wasn’t supposed to happen! Jan didn’t want a man in her life. She had been freed of all that responsibility, all the tangles of a relationship, all the expectations and worries.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Mom. It’s me.”
“Beth! This is a nice surprise.” Jan glanced at Jim, who was studiously straightening the picture and pretending not to listen. She slipped out onto the screened porch. “Are you still in India?”
“Yes, and everything’s fine.” Beth hesitated a moment. “Almost everything. For some reason, Miles went back to London. I don’t know what happened. We had a good day yesterday, I thought, but this morning he was gone. He left a message saying he needed to attend to some things at the home office, and he hoped I wouldn’t mind.”
“You’re all by yourself?” Jan didn’t know whether to be happy or sad that Miles was gone, but she was certainly worried about her daughter in that strange place.
“Well…I’m not exactly alone.” Beth’s anxious breathing sounded across the vast empty space between them. “I’ve met Thomas Wood. But it’s all right, Mom. He doesn’t know I’m his daughter. I just wanted to tell you that I feel all right about it. About him.”
“I see.” Jan couldn’t make anything else come out. Questions buzzed through her mind like bees around a hive, but she couldn’t capture a single one.
“He’s nice, Mom. Do you mind if I say that?”
“No, of course not, honey. I’m glad you like him. I knew you would—unless he’s changed drastically.”
“He has, though. You’d be so surprised if you saw him now. I mean, he’s different compared to what you told me he was like before. Guess what—he’s a Christian!” Her daughter’s voice sounded happier than Jan had heard it in weeks.
And suddenly Beth was babbling. “Thomas ministers with a group of converts who work on the estate or live nearby. He’s not a preacher, but he teaches from the Bible and conducts prayer meetings and worship services. Oh, Mom, you wouldn’t believe how dedicated he is. Everything he says is tinged with his faith. Today he showed me around the factory, and then we drove out into the fields to greet the pluckers, and when he talks, you can just tell he’s totally committed to Christ. He has dramatically increased production on the estate, plus he’s working with propagation and breeding. He showed me the place where he keeps the tea bushes he hybridizes. They have to be separate from the fields. You wouldn’t believe how smart he is. Everyone admires and respects him—from the pluckers to the factory workers to the tea tasters. The general manager, Mr. Lawford, couldn’t say enough good things about him at lunch today, and it was all I could do to keep from blurting out that I was his daughter.”
“My goodness,” Jan mumbled.
“We’re having dinner this evening in town,” Beth hurried on. “You see, Miles had invited Thomas to join us, but then Miles took off, so I said I thought we should go out to eat anyway. The town is so quaint. I’ve only seen it passing through, but I can’t wait to walk around and explore. You would just love Darjeeling, Mom. They’ve got all kinds of craftwork. Brass, fabric, leather. The women wear amazing glass beads and embroidered shirts. You can see prayer flags flying on the hills. Most of the people are Buddhist, but there are Hindus here, too. Only a few Christians are brave enough to stand up publicly for their faith, and you can see why. Did I tell you about Thomas’s wife? She was a Hindu convert to Christianity, and her family killed her! She went back to her home village for a visit. When she didn’t return to the estate, Thomas went looking for her, and there was an investigation, and it turned out they had murdered her! Just because she had become a Christian. Isn’t that awful?”
Jan had managed to seat herself in one of the chairs on the porch. She pushed her hand down on the table edge, impressing the metal pattern into her palm. It was too much. The information kept coming and coming, and she couldn’t process it.
“His wife is dead?”
“Nirmala was her name. She was the doctor for the estate. They never had any children. She’s the one who led him to Christ.”
“I’m so sorry. That she died, I mean.”
“Mom, I’m going to tell him tonight. Do you think that’s a good idea? I don’t want to ruin it. He seems to like me. He thinks I’m Miles’s girlfriend. He’s assuming we had a spat. I can’t just leave tomorrow without setting Thomas straight. But what if he reacts badly? What if he…rejects me?”
The hurt in her daughter’s voice drew out Jan’s mother instinct. “Oh, Beth, honey, he won’t do that. I told you in that note in the teapot that Thomas was a good man. I can’t imagine what he’s like now—not from all these things you’re saying—but I’m sure he’s still kind. He’ll be surprised, maybe even shocked, but he’ll be nice to you.”
“You weren’t sure before. In our last phone conversation, you were worried that I might get hurt. Do you think he’ll be angry?”
Jan rubbed her hand across the rough tabletop. “If he is, it won’t be directed at you.”
“I won’t let him blame you, Mom. I promise.”
“You blamed me, Beth. You’ve been very angry with me for keeping your birth father a secret. Why wouldn’t Thomas blame me? Why shouldn’t he?”
“Because I can explain everything to him. I understand it better now. I do.”
“Are you sure?”
“I wouldn’t have chosen to do what you did, but I see why you acted that way. I know you were afraid, and I realize that Thomas hurt you by leaving.”
“I should have told him.”
“I wish you had.”
“But then everything might have turned out so differently. Maybe he would have felt compelled to give up his dreams, marry me and work in the Wood family rose business. He would have been miserable, and he’d have blamed me, and maybe we would have ended up divorced. He might never have met his Indian wife and become a Christian. And John wouldn’t have been your father—such a wonderful father—and we would never have had Bobby and Billy…”
“Mom, don’t cry. Please.”
Jan sniffled. “It might not have been the right decision, but it’s the one I made. And if Thomas is angry about it, let him blame me. You tell him it’s my fault, not yours, Beth. Do you hear me, honey?”
“Okay.”
She felt herself grow stronger. “You remind Thomas he made choices, too. We bear equal responsibility for what happened. And you tell him that what happened was you—Bethany Ann Lowell—and you’re not a mistake. You’re wonderful and beautiful and just about perfect. You tell that man I loved him, and I would have done almost anything for him. But not that. Not leave my home and my family and fly off to some island when I was pregnant with his child. We both played our parts, and now we can both be adult about this and face the consequences of our actions. All right?”
Beth didn’t speak for a moment. “All right, Mom. I’ll tell him.”
“Don’t let him turn his anger on you.”
“I won’t.”
“If he wants to fuss and pout, let him be mad at me.”
“Okay.”
“And you just remind him that I was only nineteen when he was begging me to go
off to Sri Lanka. Nineteen!”
“Mom?”
“And tell him that I would have answered his letters—which I did get, and I do have—but I happened to be sick as a dog and terribly confused and everyone was treating me like dirt for getting pregnant. So that’s why I didn’t write. Tell him that. And you can also remind him that I had always wanted to be a teacher, and he knew it, so why did he think I would just—”
“Mom?” Beth cut in.
Jan pinched her lips together, breathing hard.
“Mom, maybe you should talk to him.”
“No! Oh, Beth, I couldn’t possibly do that.”
“It sounds like there are a lot of things the two of you need to say to each other.”
“I don’t need to say a thing. Just don’t let him get angry at you. That’s all. That’s what I was trying to tell you.”
“Well, I’d better hop in the shower and then get ready for dinner. I wish you were here.”
Jan shivered. “Beth, honey, you know I could never go all the way over there.”
“Pray for me, Mom. Pray that I tell him the right way. Pray about how he might feel toward Nanny and everyone who kept the secret.”
“I will, sweetheart. Everything’s going to be fine. You’ll see. He’s a good man.”
As they said their goodbyes and hung up, Jan turned to find Jim Blevins standing behind her. He had a hammer in his hand and a couple of nails sticking out from one corner of his mouth.
Chapter Sixteen
“Heard anything from him yet?”
“He hasn’t called.” Beth reached across the dinner table for her bottled cola. Her lips burned, and she blinked back tears generated by the fiery hot curry dinner she’d just eaten. A swig of her soft drink didn’t help at all.
“I’m not worried about Miles,” she said. “He’s a busy man.”
Thomas nodded. His fingers were stained yellow with turmeric as he took another piece of round, flat bread. Chapatis, they were called, and he had shown Beth how to use one to scoop up a mouthful of rice and curry with her fingers. Sitting inside a restaurant on a bustling street in Darjeeling, she wondered how eating with chopsticks came to her easily, yet she couldn’t quite get the knack of hand-feeding herself curry.
“Men get cold feet sometimes,” Thomas observed. He tore a chapati in half and went to work on the last of his dinner. “Especially when they’re in danger of falling in love. I nearly lost Nirmala that way. I was crazy about her, but I’d been hurt in the past. So I kept taking one step forward and two steps back, you know? She finally got fed up with me and went to Bombay for a few months to enroll in a course and update her medical license. By the time she got back, I had wised up.”
Beth held the glass soda bottle tightly between both hands. “Who had hurt you before?”
He looked out the window. “College girl in Texas. Beautiful. Red hair. Bright blue eyes. Gangly little thing with long legs and pretty feet. Oh, I loved that gal. But some things just don’t work out.”
“Well, why not?” Beth demanded. When he glanced at her in surprise at her tone, she swallowed. “I mean…if you loved her so much, why didn’t you make it work?”
“Are you asking because Miles claims to love you, and you don’t understand why he left?”
“Probably,” she breathed. “That’s part of it.”
“In my case, I had dreams that were just too big for Miss Jan. She was a homegrown Texas rose who wanted to stay put. I couldn’t wait to get away from my family’s business. Try out my wings. See if I could fly on my own. As it turned out, I flew off without the love of my life and never laid eyes on her again.”
“Surely you wrote.”
“Yes, but she didn’t answer. I guess I had scared her away for good.” He sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Well, no point in getting off track here. I think if Miles Wilson knows what’s good for him, he’ll be calling you before long. To be honest, the man has earned himself a reputation as a bit of a playboy, and I can tell you’re not that kind of girl. He’s probably figured out that you’re the best thing ever to come along in his life, and he’d better straighten up and fly right if he wants to keep you.”
“Like you did with Nirmala?”
“Oh, no. That’s different. I had changed my ways before I ever fell in love with her. Not long after I started at the estate, I began hearing rumors that someone was stirring up problems among the laborers. People told me the staff doctor was a troublemaker—holding meetings and trying to ruffle the waters. I envisioned some kind of political activist—maybe a union organizer or a socialist radical. When I slipped into the back of one of Dr. Shah’s meetings, I couldn’t have been more shocked. There on the floor in a soft pink sari sat this exotic Indian creature—and she was teaching from the Bible.”
“Who had come to listen?”
“Some of the women. The pluckers. They’d been to the clinic for various things, and Dr. Shah had invited them to a Bible study. She didn’t want me in the room—said she didn’t believe women ought to teach men Scripture, but once I’d heard her speak, I couldn’t stop going. Not long after that, one plucker’s husband became a Christian, and he started a Bible study for men. Then things really got going. Talk about trouble. The Buddhists were angry. The Hindus were angry. The Muslims were angry. Lawford was angry. I managed to calm things down enough to let the groups keep going.”
“What about you?”
“It’s strange. I had left Texas in search of change, but nothing I did made a difference. By that time, I knew change had to come from another source. I repented of my past sins, and I pledged to follow Christ. I had no idea exactly what that meant, but I was put to the test right away. It was a struggle. Every day.”
“I know what you mean.”
He smiled almost sadly. “Too bad we Christians get attacked so often, but that’s part of carrying your cross. Nirmala never soft-pedaled the consequences of becoming a Christian. Anyway, I was attending the men’s group, and I hardly ever saw her. Then, after a vacation in Calcutta, I came down with malaria. While the good doctor was treating me, I fell head over heels in love with her. Nirmala wasn’t so quick to give her heart to an ugly ol’ cowboy, especially one with cold feet, but eventually she came around. We got married, and everything seemed to be going well. Then she decided to go home and visit her family. I never saw her alive again.”
Beth reached across the table and laid her hand on his. “I’m so sorry.”
He nodded. “Me, too. Nirmala always used to tell me that suffering was a good thing. She said it was a way that we humans could identify with the price Christ paid for our sins. I never really understood what she meant until I lost her.”
“You’ve suffered a lot.” Beth knotted her fingers together in her lap and wondered what effect her news would have on Thomas. Would she be adding to his pain? Or could knowing he had a daughter bring him joy? Would he feel his past sins hadn’t really been forgiven by God? Or might he see Beth as a blessing?
Thomas shook his head. “Enough of this. Tell me about Texas. I haven’t been back in years. How are things in the Lone Star state?”
An open door. Beth decided to walk through it.
“I doubt it’s too different since you were there,” she said. “I’m from Tyler, too.”
His dark eyes flashed. “You’re kidding! Why didn’t you say something before now? Do you know any Woods?”
“My babysitter was a Wood. My two brothers and I called her Nanny, but her real name was Nancy.”
“Nancy? My mother’s name was Nancy. What street did your babysitter live on?”
It was going too fast, but Beth couldn’t figure out how to slow it down.
“Aldrich Lane,” she said.
“That’s where I grew up!” He was beaming from ear to ear. “Your babysitter must have been my mother, Beth! If that doesn’t beat all.”
“Nancy Wood was my grandmother.” She spoke the words softly, then she watched as the animation in Thomas�
�s face went from surprised delight to confusion.
“Your grandmother? But that would mean my sister is your…? Mom never told me….”
“I’m not your niece. My mother’s name is Jan. Jan Calhoun Lowell.”
He stared at her.
Beth found she couldn’t meet his eyes. Fighting unanticipated tears, she looked out the window. “My mother was pregnant with me when you left Tyler for your job in Sri Lanka. She married John Lowell, and they raised me as his daughter. I have two brothers, Bob and Bill Lowell. My dad died two years ago of Lou Gerhig’s disease. This past spring, I opened a box in my mother’s house and found the antique tea set you had given her. The one you bought in London. That’s when she told me.”
“She told you that I…that we…that I’m your…” He blew out a breath, pushed back from the table and stood. “Whoa. Uh, excuse me just a minute. I need to…uh…”
Before Beth could react, he had fled the restaurant. She grabbed her purse and tried to summon a waiter. What if Thomas vanished? What if he ran away, like her mother said he had done before? What if he abandoned her the way Miles had? She needed to pay the bill.
“Hey!” She waved at a waiter taking an order near the back of the restaurant. People in the room scowled at her. “I’m sorry, but…”
And then Thomas was back inside, pulling money from his wallet and tossing it on the table, taking her arm and lifting her from the chair, leading her out the door and walking her down the sidewalk so fast she could barely keep up.
“Janice Calhoun,” he said. “She’s your mother?”
“Janice Amelia Calhoun Lowell. Yes.”
“Nancy Wood is your grandmother?”
“Yes.”
“And Jan told you that I…that she and I…”
“You’re my father, Thomas.” Beth pulled her arm from his hand and stopped walking. “You’re my birth father. John Lowell is my dad. He’s the one who raised me, and if you don’t want…if it bothers you to…It’s okay if you’d rather not talk about it anymore. I came here, because after I found out, I needed to see you. I had to know…. Mainly, I wanted to make sure you were a Christian, and now that I know you are, I didn’t have to tell you about the rest. But I did. So…I’m sorry.”
Leaves of Hope Page 21
