Even his food had to be arranged specifically on his plate, no item to touch another and everything to be eaten with a knife and fork, which meant cereals were out. Still, it was a far cry from the day Mark realised Karl had forgotten what to do with his knife and fork. And even if Mark had cracked his shin on the chair as he went down this morning, the tantrum hadn’t been a full-on one, thanks to their new four-legged friend.
He tugged in a breath as he pulled up in front of the druggist, an image of Donna and her three-legged friend reminding him painfully of what he’d taken a gamble on and lost.
Dammit, Evelyn was right. There were no excuses for lying. He should have told Donna, allowed her to make her own decisions. It wasn’t likely that she’d have just said, hey, no problem, I’d love to sacrifice my life to the joint care of your son, but seeing her on a casual basis, any basis, would have been better than none. At least then he’d have been able to talk about Karl openly.
‘Once more into the fray.’ He sighed as he reached for his cap. Things could be worse. Karl having a better quality of life thanks to Starbuck was a cause for celebration, not maudlin. Time to stop feeling sorry for himself, Mark supposed.
‘Wonder what story she’ll have this time,’ Phil speculated as he pushed open his door. ‘Cat needs an operation? Boyfriend’s car needs work, so he can turn over a new leaf and become a taxi driver?’
Mark laughed cynically. ‘More like boyfriend needs a fix so he can get out of bed and she fancies some new shoes.’
****
‘Stephanie.’ Mark nodded at the girl sitting slouched in a chair as he came into the manager’s office at the back of the shop. ‘How’re you doing?’
‘Mmm, better for seeing you, sweetheart.’ Stephanie sat to attention, adjusting her skimpy top to show a lot more cleavage as she did. Mark noted the addition of another tattoo, before averting his gaze.
‘Put it away, Steph.’ Phil sighed. ‘He’s had lunch.’
‘Humph.’ Stephanie slumped back in her chair and folded her arms moodily over her breasts.
‘So, what is it this time, Stephanie?’ Mark asked resignedly as he walked over to her pram. ‘Perfume? Make-up? Electrical goods? Girl or boy?’
Stephanie shrugged. ‘Dunno what you’re on about. Ain’t done nothing. Just shopping, wasn’t I?’
‘That right, is it?’ Decent pram, Mark noticed. Probably nicked from Mothercare. He inched the shawl carefully away from a well tucked-up baby.
‘Cute,’ he said. ‘What’s its name, then?
‘Lady Gaga.’ Stephanie shot him a contemptuous glance, chewed noisily on her gum and blew out a bubble.
‘Nice.’ Mark pulled the shawl back, shook his head, then plucked her pop-icon from its pram. ‘This nicked, too, Stephanie?’ He turned back, dangling her brand new Baby Born doll by its leg.
‘No, it’s not nicked.’ Stephanie blew out another insolent bubble and popped it. ‘S’me sister’s, innit.’
‘That would be the long-lost sister you’ve just had a tearful reunion with, would it?’ Mark suggested, knowing Stephanie had no sister. She was special, no doubt about it. This was good though, he had to concede. Better than the baby-sling scam, which turned out to be a Scooby Doo soft toy nicked from Woolworths tucked snugly up with a selection of DVDs. Small wonder they’d gone bust with Stephanie ‘shopping’ there.
‘Where, is it, Steph?’ Phil stepped in. ‘The bloke’s shaver you half-inched?’
‘Don’t know nothing about no shaver.’ Stephanie rolled bored eyes under inch-thick mascara. ‘Ain’t nothing in there, either,’ she said as Mark searched the pram.
‘So where then, Steph?’ Phil asked. ‘Fell in your pocket, by any chance?’
‘Might be. So what y’gonna do now? Search me?’ Stephanie looked Mark languidly over.
Mark and Phil exchanged knowing glances. ‘No, Stephanie,’ Mark said with a tolerant smile. ‘We thought we’d treat you to an all-expenses paid lunch down at the station.’
****
Donna sighed as Alicia checked her mascara through rear view mirror, again, which really wasn’t terribly conducive to the careful driving of their newly acquired rust bucket.
‘Alicia, do you mind?’ Donna tugged the mirror back. ‘One needs one’s mirror in order to see what’s behind —’
‘Donna, watch out in front!’ Alicia slapped her hands over her eyes.
‘Oh, my God!’ Donna slammed on the brakes as a feral streak flashed past. She gripped the wheel hard, then scrunched her eyes closed as the car skidded into a ninety- degree turn, before screeching to a clunking halt.
‘I don’t believe it.’ Alicia peered through her fingers. ‘Matt’s car has a homing device.’
‘I don’t believe it.’ Sure she must be jinxed for life, Donna uttered a silent prayer and took several deep breaths.
‘Sorry, hon,’ Alicia said in a little voice.
‘It’s all right. My fault, I should have been looking.’ Donna tried to pull herself together, before an articulated lorry came along — or a freight train. Shakily, she reached for the ignition, turned the engine over, and… nothing.
‘You mean the cat should have been looking.’ Alicia heaved herself out of the passenger side. ‘I thought black cats were supposed to be lucky anyway,’ she said, walking around front, as Donna climbed out of the driver’s side.
‘Not if you run over them, Alicia,’ Donna pointed out.
‘Something’s probably jarred loose. A wire or a plug or…’ Alicia heaved up the bonnet. ‘OhmiGod! The engine’s dropped out!’
Donna laughed and headed for the tail-end of the VW. ‘It’s in the back, Alicia.’
‘Well, how on earth did it get there?’ Alicia furrowed her brow, dropped the bonnet and walked around to join her.
‘I think we might need a man that can,’ Donna observed after two minutes staring clueless at the engine.
****
‘It could have been worse,’ Donna suggested optimistically as they waited for the AA, bottoms perched on the bonnet and Alicia smiling at passing traffic. Donna would have been mortified if they’d actually hit the poor cat.
‘A lot worse,’ Alicia observed, sliding neatly off the bonnet. ‘The man that can.’ She nodded towards the AA van as it pulled up behind the VW, from which climbed a reasonably presentable dish. ‘And I tell you what, he could, anytime.’
‘Alicia!’ Donna stared after her, shocked, as Alicia did her Cameron hair-flick to perfection and sashayed towards him.
‘Oh, am I glad to see you.’ Alicia smiled seductively and batted her lashes. ‘I’m Alicia,’ she said, offering her hand.
And I’ve obviously ceased to exist. Donna tried not to be too miffed as Alicia continued to bat, while he beamed.
‘We’re having a spot of trouble.’ Alicia slid her hand from his, eventually, and turned back towards the VW, an eye-twanging wiggle to her walk. ‘Our engine seems to be in the wrong place.’
‘Er…’ The guy dragged his eyes away from her bottom, to glance bemusedly at Donna.
Ten minutes later, Donna bobbed invisibly behind them as Michael — apparently — and Alicia peered into the engine compartment practically cheek-to-cheek.
Don’t mind me, she thought. I’ll just take a walk around the block while you two get better acquainted. ‘I didn’t realise you were so interested in engines, Alicia,’ she eventually said pointedly, behind her.
‘I had no idea they could be so fascinating,’ Alicia replied, apparently riveted by his explanation of which thingummy connected to what whatsit and where the dipstick was.
‘Me either.’ Donna curled a lip. Honestly, she’d be holding his spanner for him in a minute. ‘Alicia’s boyfriend’s quite good with engines,’ she said, even more pointedly. ‘He’s away at the moment though, taking his black belt in karate.’
That got smiley Michael’s attention. ‘Shame really,’ Donna went on, gleefully embellishing the facts. Alicia’s current boyfriend was lovely, but actu
ally more Hugh Grant than Jackie Chan. ‘He’s got such big pecs, he could have lifted the engine out and popped it in the right end in a flash, couldn’t he, Alicia?’
Alicia shot her a loaded look as Michael stepped back.
Donna shot her a look back. ‘You’re going out with someone,’ she mouthed, as Michael turned to collect up his tools.
‘I know. I’m just flattering him,’ Alicia whispered back. ‘What?’ She looked at Donna despairingly as he went to try the ignition. ‘It got the car fixed, didn’t it?’
‘He’s an AA man, Alicia. It’s his job to fix the car.’
‘Yes, but because it’s his job doesn’t mean he has to go the extra mile, does it? Did you want to be towed back home on a tow-truck?’
No, Donna conceded, certain Matt wouldn’t be overly impressed if she was. Yesss! She whooped quietly as the engine sparked into life.
‘All done,’ said Michael, emerging from the car with a smile.
‘Thank you. I really appreciate your efforts.’ Donna offered him a grateful smile back. Perhaps a little flattery didn’t hurt, after all. He had been extremely conscientious.
‘No problem. We’re here to serve.’ He winked.
Donna glanced behind her, sure he’d be winking at Alicia. Oh? Well, perhaps he’d got a nervous twitch, then?
‘You’d better get that seen to,’ he said, nodding towards Donna’s hand, the back of which, she was surprised to see, was scratched and trickling blood.
‘Oh, it’s nothing.’ She smiled bravely, though it did actually look quite nasty. She must have done it pushing the car to the kerb.
‘Well, you never know, you might have some dirt in it or something,’ he said, plucking her hand up to examine it at close quarters. ‘Hold on, I’ve got a first-aid kit in the van. Can’t leave a damsel in distress, can I?’
Donna laughed. ‘I’m not a damsel.’
‘But she is in distress,’ Alicia called as he headed back to his van.
‘Oh, how’s that, then?’ Michael asked, returning with a plaster and antiseptic cream.
‘She split up with her boyfriend,’ Alicia informed him with a dramatic sigh. ‘Heartbroken, poor girl,’ she went on as Donna stared at her, slack-jawed.
‘That’s a shame.’ Michael looked Donna over interestedly, whilst making a meal of smoothing the plaster over her hand. ‘Tell you what, if you’re at a loose end, why don’t you come out with me?’
‘What?’ Donna blinked at him, amazed at his gall. Only two minutes ago, he’d been getting up close and personal with Alicia under her bonnet. Blooming cheek.
‘You’re at a loose end. I’m at a loose end. Why don’t we get our ends together sometime?’ he went on, winking saucily now, and still holding onto Donna’s hand.
‘Pardon?’ Donna stared, flabbergasted.
‘Go on. Go out with him,’ Alicia suggested, so preposterously Donna almost laughed. ‘It can’t hurt. He’s asking ever so nicely, and it might be just the tonic you need.’
Nicely? Donna looked disbelieving from Alicia to her expectant admirer, who was probably wondering why she hadn’t swooned at his soft line of seduction. Get our ends together? Honestly.
‘I can’t. I’m, um…’ Donna struggled for something to say now Alicia had announced she was single, ergo obviously up for grabs ‘… on the rebound.’
‘You could rebound off me anytime.’ Michael waggled his eyebrows.
Donna arched hers, bemused. ‘Serious rebound,’ she said meaningfully.
‘Pity,’ he said, raising her injured — and finally plastered — hand to his lips.
Good Lord. Donna gawked at him. What did she do now? Curtsey?
She smiled at him wanly instead.
He smiled back and trailed a thumb over her cheek. ‘Bit of oil,’ he said. ‘Don’t want it going in your pretty green eyes, do we?’
‘No. Thank you,’ Donna mumbled.
‘The pleasure was all mine,’ he assured her. ‘Look, call me if you do fancy going out sometime.’ He ferreted in his breast pocket for pen and pad and scrawled his number.
Donna took the note he offered, smiled courteously as he turned back to his van, then froze.
‘Uh, oh,’ Alicia said. ‘Don’t look now Donna, but…’
But Donna was looking totally aghast — at the patrol car idling on the opposite side of the road. A very familiar driver at the wheel, looking extremely pissed off.
****
Mark tried to ignore Stephanie, smirking and slapping her mouth on her chewing gum as they waited to go through the back office.
‘Wouldn’t let my girlfriend get away with that.’ Stephanie eyed him sideways, obviously intent on getting full mileage out of his embarrassment. ‘Give ‘er a good hiding, I would.’
Mark’s cheek twitched. How much bloody longer did he have to listen to this? He cursed his stupid over-reaction with an audience in the back, who would remind him every second she was here that he’d just witnessed his ‘girlfriend’ getting up close and personal with another bloke.
Telling Stephanie, who delighted in pushing copper’s buttons, that Donna wasn’t his girlfriend, was pointless, particularly as he’d been close to climbing out of the patrol car and pulling the guy in on any conceivable charge he could find.
Finally, they gained access to the back room, where WPC Slater waited, as per protocol for female suspects.
‘Well, well, Stephanie. Can’t keep away can you?’ WPC Slater gave her a knowing look. ‘You into the fresh percolated coffee and haute cuisine, then?’
‘Nah.’ Stephanie smirked. ‘It’s ‘im I’m into, innit? The moody, broody one. I wouldn’t mind ‘im strip-searching me.’
‘You’d be more than he could handle, Steph.’ The WPC gave Mark a sympathetic glance, as he ran a hand wearily over his neck.
‘Go on, go get yourself a coffee,’ she said, obviously aware he was in need of a get out. ‘I’ll sort the paperwork and make sure Steph here gets suitable accommodation.’
Mark smiled, relieved. ‘Cheers, Rachel. I owe you one.’
‘No problem,’ Rachel assured him as he turned away, only to hear Stephanie taunting behind him, ‘Aw, looks like someone’s pee’d on his firework, doesn’t he, poor sod. Never mind, luv,’ her voice trailed after him, as Mark headed back through the security door. ‘She wasn’t all that anyway, if you ask me. You come and see me, if you’re lonely, sweetheart. I’ll kiss it all…’
Mark raked his hand through his hair as the back room door banged mercifully shut.
****
Alicia was driving as they entered the pub car park, Donna’s faculties seeming not to be functioning.
‘What was he doing there?’ she said, again, her shoulders so droopy she wouldn’t be surprised if her knuckles scraped the ground when she walked.
‘Donna, you’ve asked that a thousand times and I still don’t know. It was just bad timing.’
Bad timing? Donna stared forlornly through the windscreen. Some man doing… intimate things to her, and Mark drives by. That wasn’t bad timing. It was horrendous. Misfortune gone mad.
He’d looked so shocked.
Okay, she wasn’t actually with Mark, but that didn’t make her feel any better. She didn’t want to hurt him because he’d hurt her. To play the pathetic games Jeremy played. Most of all, she didn’t want Mark thinking she was what he might have thought she was on their first meeting. A sad old slapper.
‘Come on, honey. No point sitting about out here with a face like a wet weekend.’ Alicia gave her shoulders a squeeze. ‘Let’s go on in. They might have stopped serving food now, but they won’t have stopped serving wine.’
She reached for her bag and hopped out of the car. Then peered back in. ‘Come on, chop chop,’ she said, as Donna heaved in shuddery breath. ‘Let’s go and knock ‘em dead.’
Alicia closed the door and clacked towards the pub, as Donna reached for her door. Then clacked back, opened her door and climbed back in. ‘Or not,’ she said, star
ting the engine.
‘Alicia?’ Donna pulled her door back and looked at her sister askew.
‘Mark was bad timing. That,’ Alicia nodded towards a sparkling new Jaguar cruising across the car park, ‘is a joke.’
‘Drive,’ Donna said, concluding she must have been a terrible person in another life.
‘Trust me, I’m driving.’ Alicia reversed swiftly. ‘Unless…’ She stepped on the brake. ‘Donna, we’ll go if you want to. I’m quite happy to, but…’
‘I do.’
‘… .you are sure you want to do this, aren’t you, hon? Run away, I mean?’
Donna stared at her sister, astounded. ‘What do you mean, run away?’
‘Well, I presume you’re not going to spend the rest of your life avoiding public places because Jeremy might happen to be there? He’d just love that, wouldn’t he?’
Donna furrowed her brow. Good God, Alicia was right. What on earth was she doing?! Was she going to avoid the park, too, in case she bumped into him? The supermarket?
Donna watched Jeremy climb out of their/his/her Jag, walk around and open the passenger door for Leticia. Well, wasn’t he keen to please? The only time Donna remembered him opening a door around her was when he was on his way out.
Humph. Up went the shoulders.
‘Do you know, that’s a very good point. Why am I…’ Donna poked herself in the chest ‘… running away? I’ve done nothing wrong. God’s gift might think he dictates the rules, but he doesn’t, not anymore. Alicia, mirror.’
‘That’s my girl.’ Alicia grinned, and hoisted the rear-view mirror passenger direction.
One nifty application of mascara later, Donna turned for appraisal. ‘Better?’
Alicia scrutinised her. Fished for a tissue to wipe off a splodge, fluffed up Donna’s fringe, then, ‘Much,’ she said, satisfied.
‘Come on.’ Alicia climbed out.
Donna did likewise.
They swapped supportive smiles over the roof, closed doors together, joined forces at the front of the VW, then marched, arm in arm, into the pub.
Somebody to Love: Sigh With Contentment, Scream With Frustration. At Time You Will Weep. Page 14
