“You mad at me Shard?” I asked him, propping my feet on his lap. He ignored me but I was surprised that he didn’t push my feet away from him, so that was a good sign.
“Shard?” I asked again, this time with more sadness in my voice so that he could pay me some attention.
Getting the hint that he wasn’t going to answer me, I removed my feet from his lap and moved over so that I could straddle his lap. He never took his eyes from off of the screen either. I brought my hands under his chin and forced him to look at me. There was an angry scowl on his face and I just wanted to see him smile.
“I’m a diamond cluster hustler, queen bitch, supreme bitch, kill a nigga for my nigga by any means bitch, murder scene bitch, clean bitch, disease free bitch,” I rapped Li’l Kim’s “Queen Bitch” to Shard and he smirked at me. I rapped that verse to the song because I really did have to kill a nigga for my nigga. It wasn’t that I regretted doing it because I didn’t. It was just hard to deal with the constant nightmares and the thoughts that I was having after the fact.
“She my bottom bitch
Never a problem bitch
Sup’ chick, gangsta’ bitch, nigga all that shit
She ain't no bust it baby but she will bust it baby
And she will touch it baby
Attitude like fuck you, pay me.” Shard rapped those lines to me by J.T. Money on his song “Bottom Bitch.” I blushed and leaned up to kiss him softly on his lips. I hadn’t kissed those sexy things in a little minute and I missed them.
“Shard baby, I apologize for the way I been acting. But don’t you ever fix your lips and say that I was acting like I wish that it would have been you that died and not Mark because we both know that that is not true. I’m going to try my best to get my emotions under control and I don’t need you yelling at me and calling me a crybaby every two seconds,” I told him.
“I understand Imani. I didn’t mean to say that shit. It just really pissed me off having to come back home to the same shit and then you went and brought Breesha in the middle of it,” he said and I smiled.
“What did she tell you outside?” I asked out of curiosity.
“She told me I better stop talking to your ass like that or she was gon’ beat my ass, pregnant and all,” Rashard told me and I burst out laughing because that honestly was some shit that my cousin would say out of her mouth.
“Let’s go get married Imani,” Shard told me. He took the remote from off of the couch and turned the TV off, so I knew he was dead ass serious.
“What? Like right now?” I asked him.
“Yeah, right fuckin’ now. We living together, plus you got my son. I don’t understand why we have to wait if you want the big wedding and all of that. I’m tired of referring to you as my girl, or my baby mama, I want you to be called my wife. I want you to be known Mrs. Imani Taylor Lewis,” he said and there was no sign of this being a joke on his face.
All type of thoughts were running through my mind. Mainly, I wanted to put the wedding on hold until another year and a half. That would be when I would graduate with my Bachelor’s. Then I thought about whether my parents would approve of all of a sudden jumping up and getting married, especially my mom. Hell, I didn’t even tell them that I was engaged. You know what, fuck it! I was not that sweet, little innocent 21-year-old girl anymore. I was 23 and it was time that I started doing things for the betterment of myself and stop worrying about what other people thought of me, especially my mama. I loved my mom but this was my life and I was going to live it how I wanted to live it.
“Let’s do it,” I told Rashard and a big ass smile formed on his face.
I kissed him a million times and after I pulled away, he lifted my shirt above my head.
“Let me get some of this pussy first, just to make sure I’m making the right decision,” he said, laughing.
I didn’t find it funny, so I popped him upside his head. “Chill Mani, I’m just playing with your ass. I knew you was going to be my wife the night I saw your fine ass at Friday’s,” he said and I smiled.
“And I knew you was going to be my husband when I let you fuck me silly,” I said to him.
Chapter 18: Dontae
Friday night I sat at the table with my family, enjoying dinner. Of course Breesha’s ass didn’t cook tonight being as though it was a Friday night so we sat at the table eating pizza and wings from this place out in Miramar called Fantasy Pizza. Breesha swore up and down that they had the best pizza so her ass stayed ordering this shit. Don’t get me wrong, the shit was good but I wasn’t much of a pizza lover. Ever since Breesha got pregnant, all her ass wanted to eat was damn pizza and my mama’s cooking. My mama swore that Breesha was supposed to be bigger than what she already was, so she stayed feeding Breesha all that bullshit.
I sat back and admired the relationship between my daughter and my fiancée. Those two right there were my everything. I loved them more than I loved myself. Oftentimes, I find myself staring at Breesha and thinking back to that day I came home and found her laid out on the bathroom floor. I swear that was a sight that would forever be embedded into my system and I was just grateful that I had Breesha here with me. Like I loved this woman just as much as I loved my mama and my daughter. One thing about me, couldn’t a soul fix their lips and say that they have caught me cheating on my girl before. You see, cheating, that’s not love to me. That’s fuckin’ stupidity! How can you say that you love you woman and you go out, giving her dick away? Since I’d been with Breesha, I hadn’t dared tried to even talk to another female because I knew what I was coming home to ever night and all that extra shit out there was not worth it. I swear on everything that Breesha could do the same exact thing as ten other bitches, so why keep them ten other bitches around when I can just have one bad one?
I watched as Bria went and emptied her plate in the trash and headed back upstairs. Breesha then came around and sat on my lap. I knew she knew that something was going on. She was just waiting on Bria to go upstairs so that we could have some privacy.
“What’s up bae? You looked zoned out,” she said, making herself comfortable.
“You don’t miss shit, do you?” I asked her, laughing.
“Not when it comes to my man, my daughter, and my money,” she said, smiling.
I laughed at her and pulled her in tighter. “I’m good bae, just thinking of how grateful I am to have you in my life and in Bria’s life. Most women would have hauled ass if I told them I had a daughter. But not you. You stayed and you help raise Bria like she is your own and I thank you for that,” I said, being real with her.
“Well baby, I’m not most women and you don’t have to thank me for that. When I came into this relationship I planned to be fully committed to you. Bria is a part of you so I’m fully committed to her as well. In fact I think I love Bria more than you,” she said, smiling.
“Yeah okay,” I told her laughing. She got from out of my lap and I watched her straighten up the table and wash the few dishes that were in the sink. As I sat there watching her every move like a hawk, my phone started ringing. I looked down and noticed that it was that same private number calling me. I knew that it wasn’t nobody but Sharice’s ass. Lately, her ass had been consistent with the phone calls. I’m talking every day and I never answered the shit. I’m not gon’ lie, after she told me the story about her having cancer, I felt bad as shit but I couldn’t help but to think that that was her karma. I’m not all into religion but I do believe that there is a God and I know for a fact that he was punishing her ass due to all of the fucked up shit that she let transpire while her own daughter was in her care. Yes, I felt bad but her ex-boyfriend raped my seed! How could I just ignore that shit? She was just as much to blame as Fred’s bitch ass was. I felt like if I brought Bria around Sharice, I was basically saying fuck my daughter and fuck what happened and I’d never say that so I didn’t see Sharice ever seeing Bria again. Yeah, it may sound fucked up but it wasn’t as fucked up as the fact that my daughter got her innoc
ence taken from her. Now that was fucked up!
“Who is that?” Breesha asked me, turning around and pointing towards my phone.
“Sharice’s stuipid ass,” I said and the phone rang again.
Breesha stared at me, giving me an I wish you would step out and answer the phone look, so, I chose the smart thing to do, which was to answer the shit right in front of her. Hell, it wasn’t like I was trying to hide something from her, so there wasn’t any sense of trying to be discreet about the situation.
“Fuck do you want Sharice? Damn,” I barked into the phone. I was in the middle of cursing her ass out when all of a sudden, she stopped me.
“Dontae, do you not remember me telling you that I have cancer?! Dontae, I am about to fuckin’ die and you are being real selfish right now! Please let me see my baby. I’m dying Dontae, damn! This will be the last thing that I will ever fuckin’ ask you for. Just let me see my baby,” she cried into the phone.
I didn’t know what to feel at the moment. I looked at Breesha. “What happened? What she say?” Breesha asked me. I ended the call.
“She got cancer. She says she’s about to die,” I told Breesha. Breesha looked at me stunned and took her seat back at the table. I watched as she bit the inside of her jaw constantly. She always did that shit whenever she got nervous about something or whenever she was racking her brain trying to think of something. I wanted to see whose side she was about to be on because I could already tell that some bullshit was bout to come from out of her mouth.
Breesha
“Dontae, I love you, I really do but at the end of the day, that’s Bria biological mother. Sharice could be asking you for money right now, maybe to help pay for her treatment or some shit, but clearly she’s not. She’s asking you for one thing and that’s just to see her daughter. By no means do I support any of the decisions that Sharice has made when it comes down to her parenting skills but if she’s dying and she doesn’t have a lot of time left, you got to do this one thing for her so that she could go knowing she was able to see Bria one last time and make it right. Don’t do her like that Dontae. Put yourself in her shoes. Imagine you were told you only had a short amount of time left. Wouldn’t you want to right all your wrongs?” I asked Dontae but from his body language, I could see that he wasn’t going to hear me out. It looked like his mind was already made up.
“So what you’re basically saying is, fuck that night, right? You were there when the fuckin’ nurse told us that Bria went through a gruesome rape right? You was there when they said she would never be able to have kids, right? If my memory serves me right, you were the same one that found that big ass bruise on Bria’s back when he decided that my daughter was his fuckin’ punching bag! It seems like you may have forgotten what the fuck has taken place over the last few months,” Dontae barked at me.
“Dontae, don’t you sit here and act like I forgot about all of that shit that happened to Bria! If you want to be a smart ass about the situation, if my memory serves me right, were the fuck was I after every time something happened? Right fuckin’ there! So don’t try to act like I’m trying to play stupid or some shit. In no way am I trying to take up for Sharice. I just feel like everybody deserves a second chance and you not being fair!” I said, standing up from the table.
“Alright, neither one of us is going to be the judge to this. Watch this. BRIA!” Dontae yelled and a minute later, Bria came down the stairs with one of her dolls in her hand.
“Yes Daddy?” she asked, standing in front of him. Dontae reached out his arms, picking Bria up, and sat her on his lap.
“Do you want to see Sharice?” Dontae asked and Bria quickly shook her head no.
“There’s your answer. She said no. You can go back upstairs baby girl,” Dontae said, but I wasn’t feeling that so I was about to step in.
“Bria, remember when my stomach was a little big and you kept asking me what was in my stomach and I told you that it was your little brother or sister?” I asked her and she nodded her head yes.
“And remember when I was sick in the hospital and when we came home, I told you that your brother wasn’t inside of me anymore?” I asked and she nodded her head again.
“And where did I tell you that your bother was going?” I quizzed. I wanted to see if she remembered what I had told her.
“You told me that my little brother was going to go to Heaven and that he was going to always be here with us. You said even though we will never see him again, we have to still love him,” Bria said and a single tear dropped from my eye and I quickly wiped it away.
“Okay, so what if Sharice has to go to Heaven? Do you want to see her before she goes because once she leaves you won’t get to see her again,” I said, trying my best to put it in away without creeping her out. I wasn’t trying to force this on Bria but I at least wanted her to have an idea of what was going on around her.
“I don’t want to see her,” Bria cried and threw her doll down on the floor.
“Breesha, leave her the fuck alone man! She said she don’t want to see her!” Dontae barked at me and I looked at him with tears in my eyes as he picked Bria up and tried to get her to calm down.
I felt terrible. I guess I just knew how it felt to have my mother taken away from me at a young age and never having to have that final goodbye. Even though my mom committed suicide, I still never got a chance for a final conversation. It was like she was just taken from me. I wanted Bria to have that. I didn’t want her to go through what I went through, hell, what I was still going though, regretting never telling my mom that I loved her before she died. Years from now, when Sharice was dead and gone, I didn’t want Bria to regret this day. But she had already made up her mind and I couldn’t force her to do something that she didn’t want to do. At the end of the day, I didn’t know all of the things that took place with Bria while at Sharice’s house but I knew there was more to the story because even after I told Bria that Sharice was basically going to die, she still didn’t care to see her.
I walked upstairs and went into Dontae’s and my bedroom and gently shut the door. I walked inside of the bathroom in the room and closed and locked that door. My feelings were hurt and I just needed time to calm down. I never meant to make Bria cry but if it was going to cause her that much pain, I was going to leave the situation alone. The most important part was the fact that I tried. After splashing some cold water on my face, I emerged from the bathroom and Dontae was standing in front of the door.
“What you crying for?” he asked, walking up on me.
“Nothing,” I said, trying to walk around him but he wasn’t letting me get through. I was mad at how he snapped at me downstairs.
“Breesha what’s wrong with you and why were you crying?” he asked me again.
“Dontae leave me alone because you didn’t even have to do all of that down there,” I said to him.
“Do what? Tell you to leave her the fuck alone when clearly you was pissing her off with all those damn questions?! And when did you tell Bria about losing the baby because I don’t remember that?” he asked me.
“After we came home from the hospital. She knew something was going on and I didn’t want to keep ignoring the question, so I had to tell her,” I told him.
“Okay, well you got your answer, so don’t ask her that shit no more Breesha, I’m serious,” Dontae said and I nodded my head and went downstairs to go watch TV.
Chapter 19: Dontae
I didn’t even mean to snap on Breesha like that but her ass pissed me off, grilling my damn daughter like that. I have a heart and I was willing to let Sharice meet with Bria but hell, y’all heard what my daughter said. She said no! I know most parents probably don’t let their child have a choice but I was not about force this shit on her. Bria just started back sleeping in her own room and I didn’t want to have to go back down that road to having her sleeping in the bed with me and Breesha. Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter but her li’l ass would be cock blocking like a mothafucka�
��. And it was like one she got in the bed with us, Breesha’s pussy went under fuckin’ construction. She didn’t even let a nigga hit it in the downstairs bathroom or the guest room. Nothing! Her ass was so selfish with her shit.
I let Breesha have her little tantrum and I got in the bed and smoked me a much needed Blunt. God knows I needed something to calm down my fuckin’ nerves. After being in the room for over two hours, I noticed that Breesha still hadn’t brought her ass back upstairs. I walked out of the room and into my daughter’s room to see Bria laying on top of the covers with her favorite doll in her hands. I walked over and picked her up, placing her under the covers and turning off her room light. I went into the hallway and took the stairs down into the den, where I heard the TV playing. Breesha was laid out on the couch with a cover wrapped around her body watching Lean On Me.
“You stay watching this gay ass movie,” I said, taking the remote from off the couch.
“Move Dontae. Don’t turn it because this is my favorite part,” she said, referring to the part where Mr. Clark made the boys sing the school song in the bathroom.
I shook my head and let her watch that part and then I turned the TV off. I heard her suck her teeth and I went over to the lamp and turned it on.
“You mad at me?” I asked, squatting down in front of her, while she laid on her back with her eyes on the ceiling.
A Miami Love Tale 3 : Thugs Need Luv Too (A Miami Love Tale : Thugs Need Luv Too) Page 12
