“Why?” I plunged my hands under his shirt, running them over his chest, around to his back. “Stopping is the last thing I want to do. I want you, Lucas. I want you now. Don’t ask me to stop.”
“Jackie.” This time he sounded desperate. “Do it. Get off me. Or—I might hurt you.”
I froze. His words cut through my happy beer haze, through the beat of my desire. Slowly I slid off his lap, pressing my hands to my face as I stared down at him.
Lucas brought his hand to his forehead, squeezing as though he was holding in a killer headache.
“What the hell do you mean?” I could barely manage the whisper. “You might hurt me? Are you. . .are you threatening me?”
“God, Jackie, no. I don’t want to hurt you.” He reached over and took my hand, bringing it to his lips. “Please. I want this—I want you—as much as you do. But I’m scared. Who I am now—what I am—I could do something and not even be aware of it. The last thing I want to do is turn you away. But I don’t know what might happen. And I can’t ask you to trust me when I haven’t even told you the truth.”
“What’re you talking about? What you are now? What do you mean by that?”
Lucas’s eyes were nearly black. “I can’t tell you.”
All of my control dissolved in an explosion of temper and want. “Fuck that, Lucas. Yes, you can. Tell me. What the hell is wrong with you?”
He jumped to his feet and stalked across the kitchen, putting distance between us. “You won’t believe me even if I do tell you.”
I snorted. “I just asked if you were a superhero. Are you kidding me? Tell me. At this point, I’m not sure there’s anything you could say that I wouldn’t buy.”
Lucas ran his hand over his face and gripped the edge of the counter. His chest was rising and falling rapidly as he breathed. “Promise me you won’t take off. Promise me you’ll hear me out.”
I nodded, slowly sinking back into my chair. “I promise.”
He stared at me, and when he spoke, his voice was low, even as his words carried to me with perfect clarity.
“I think. . .I’m pretty sure. . .” He sucked in another breath. “I’m a vampire, Jackie.”
***
WHEN I WAS eleven years old, I took a dare from Joshua Kreely about how long I could hold onto the merry-go-round on the school playground. I gripped the cold metal pipes that made up the handles as three big boys used their shoulders to make the turntable spin faster and harder than any of us had ever seen it move.
For the first few minutes, I held tight, confident and strong. But after a little while, my stomach began to turn, my palms began to sweat, and my head pounded. It became harder to keep my grip. Finally, the world began to look hazy around its edges, and before I knew it, I’d loosened my hold and was flying across the gravel and macadam that made up our schoolyard.
I landed in grass, which was fairly miraculous, given how little soft ground there was near the play area. But when I hit the ground, I had the breath knocked out of me, and for several terrifying moments, I couldn’t take in any oxygen. Leesa later told me my mouth opened and closed like a fish on the beach, and my eyes were huge and frightened. Though the whole episode wasn’t very long, for me it felt like an eternity.
When the words Lucas had spoken filtered through my brain, I felt the same way. I’d gone flying across the yard and landed on hard ground. I couldn’t find my breath.
When my vision cleared, Lucas was still across the kitchen, his eyes fastened on me.
“Are you okay?”
I stood up and took one shaky step back. “What do you think? Are you out of your fucking mind? Or are you—” A sob tore out of my throat. “Are you trying to get rid of me? Did you think up the most implausible story you could, just to make me leave you alone? I thought we were friends, at least. All you had to say was, ‘Jackie, I don’t feel the same way about you.’”
“That’s not it. I told you it was going to sound crazy. I said you wouldn’t believe me.” He clenched his jaw and growled. “I don’t know how to prove it to you. Or even if I should.”
I paused for a second. “You’re serious. You really think you’re a-a vampire.”
He blinked once and then nodded. “I think so. I don’t know for sure. Something happened to me right before I came down here. There’s other stuff, too. It’s complicated. I told you, my life is totally fucked up right now. But you wanted to know. And now you do.”
Gripping the chair, I pulled it closer to me, further from Lucas, and sat down. I wasn’t sure my legs were going to hold me up any longer. I reached for my beer and took a big sip. I needed it.
“Tell me what happened. What makes you think—oh my God, have you killed people? Drunk their blood?”
“No.” Lucas approached the table slowly, careful not to spook me. “I haven’t. Not from people.” He cast his eyes down. “It’s a long story.”
“I have nothing but time.”
The side of his mouth lifted. “Okay.” He spread out his fingers on the table and stared down at them. “It started the night I went out with some of my friends from Birch before I left. It was supposed to be my good-bye party. We went to a bar, and at first, it was fun. We drank, probably too much. And we got to doing shots, and then there was this woman. Her name, I think, was Veronica. She reminded me of, um, Cathryn.” He flashed me a sheepish look. “Things had ended with Cathryn by then, and I wasn’t heartbroken, necessarily, but I was hurt, I guess. A little surprised. But I was drunk enough that this woman seemed like a good idea.
“I just barely remember her being there, and then the next thing I remember, I was waking up in my hotel room with the worst damn hangover I’d ever had. I didn’t know what’d happened, but there was a note on the mirror, from Veronica. It didn’t really explain anything, except that she had set up a delivery and she’d done something to change my destiny. . I don’t know, it was very cryptic.”
I licked my lips. “Can I read it?”
Lucas shook his head. “I gave it to Cathryn when she was here last week. She’s doing some research, trying to find out what happened to me.”
“Why Cathryn?” I was lost.
“Oh, sorry. Cathryn. . .this is sort of her line of work. It’s kind of a secret, but she works with people who have special abilities. She has a lot of connections, so I figured she was the best person to help me.”
Good God, they were all insane. “Okay. So go on.”
Lucas closed his eyes. “You think I’m crazy. All right, I get that. Half the time I think I’m crazy, too. Well, I read the note, and then this guy came to my hotel room with a cooler. It was full of bags of blood. In the note, Veronica had said to follow my instinct, and when I saw it. . .I needed it. I ripped open a bag and drank it. And then I drank another. That’s when I figured out I’m probably a vampire.”
My stomach turned over. “You seriously drink blood? Like. . .how much?”
Lucas glanced away. “Two or three bags a day. It’s delivered to me, and I drink it.” He reached across the table, wincing when I shrunk back. “Jackie, I think I’m maybe only partly a vampire. Because I don’t want to hurt most people. I can hear their blood. I can smell it. But I don’t attack them. I don’t have fangs.”
I didn’t know how to reply to that. My world was spinning way out of control. Part of me wanted to ask more questions, and part of me wanted to get the hell out of here.
“You said you don’t want to hurt most people. Are there people. . .you do want to hurt?”
His eyes turned bleak. “Not until tonight. And I don’t want to hurt you. But oh, God, Jackie, when you were touching me, all I could think about was tasting you. It was the first time I wanted blood that didn’t come in bags. It scared the hell out of me. And let me tell you, after what I’ve been through in the last few months, I thought I was done being scared.”
I stared at him, unable to answer. Everything Lucas had said spun through my mind, and my brain stuttered on one tiny, unimportant fac
t that suddenly seemed to make sense.
“So the garlic. That’s why you don’t like it anymore? Because you think you’re a vampire?”
He lifted one shoulder, his forehead wrinkling. “I don’t know about why, but I can’t eat it since that night, and every time I even smell it, I feel a little nauseated.”
I frowned. “All that food I made, you didn’t really eat it?”
“No, of course I ate it. Why wouldn’t I? I just avoided the garlic.”
“Vampires don’t eat food. You drink blood, you just told me that.”
“I thought you didn’t believe I’m a vampire. If you think I’m crazy, why does it bother you that I ate real food? Which I did, by the way. I ate it all.”
“Because if you’re going to have a delusion, you need to be consistent about it. I’ve seen you in the sunlight, you don’t have fangs, you cast a reflection—there’s no way you’re a vampire. I don’t know what happened to you that night in New Jersey, but isn’t it possible someone’s playing a huge practical joke on you?”
Lucas rolled his eyes. “You don’t think I’ve taken every aspect of this whole mess into consideration? What’s delivered to me, what I drink. . .it’s blood, Jackie. I know it is. And. . .” He looked away, and his Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed. “There’s more to it. More that I absolutely can’t explain in any rational terms.”
“Oh, okay. I see. Because being a vampire, that explains some of this in rational terms. That’s perfectly logical.”
He stood and walked back to the far side of the kitchen. “Jackie, you asked me. You wanted to know. You told me once that you’re the kind of person who listens without judging or offering advice. I’m not sure what you call this, but it sure as feels like judgment to me.”
I jumped up and followed him. “Judging you? That’s what you think I’m doing? Are you out of your freaking mind? Wait, don’t answer that. I already know.”
He threw up his hands. “Fine, I’m nuts. I’m—” He broke off mid-sentence as his eyes got that same trapped, almost hunted look I’d seen earlier on my front porch. He took one step toward me and pointed toward the door. “You need to leave now. Please.”
I cocked my head, disbelief washing over me. “What the hell, Lucas? You drop this vampire shit on me, and then you tell me to go away because I don’t buy it right away?” I reached to touch his arm. “Come on. Let’s sit down and talk about this. There’s got to be a more realistic explanation—”
“Jackie, I can’t talk about this right now. You’ve got to—just go.” He thrust my hand away from him as a wild look took over his eyes. “You don’t understand.”
I gripped his wrist. “No, I’m not leaving you. Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I did pester you to tell me. I should’ve been more compassionate when you did.”
“It’s not that. It’s—” His hand covered mine, crushing my fingers in a steel grip. “Oh, my God, Jackie. Hold on.”
And just like that, I was back on the spinning merry-go-round, flying through the air, waiting to hit concrete and feel all my bones break into a million splintered pieces. My stomach lurched, and pain sliced through my head. I couldn’t see anything, and my only awareness centered on the heat of Lucas’s skin beneath my fingers and the pressure of his hand above mine. I was certain that if I lost that, I’d go careening off into space and time, lost forever in a loop of dark and confusion.
With a thump, my feet hit solid ground, and slowly I became aware again. The first sense to return was smell, and I breathed in a long, appreciative sniff of garlic, tomatoes and coffee. I blinked, trying to clear my vision. Lucas stood in front of me, and he used the arm I wasn’t gripping to draw me into him and hold me tight.
“Are you okay?” The whisper drifted down to my ear, and I shivered. He rubbed his cheek over the top of my head, and I relaxed against him, needing the moment to settle.
And then panic overtook me, interrupting my second of bliss, and I smacked his shoulder. “What the fuck, Lucas? What did you do to me? Where are we, what happened—”
“What the hell is she doing here?” The unfamiliar voice cut through my temper tantrum, and I pushed back to see who was here with us. Wherever here was.
As soon as I looked around, I knew where we were. Leone’s. It was dark, with only the dim security lights still on, but this place was like a second home to me. I recognized the counter and the booths, even in the unfamiliar stillness. Lucas and I were just inside the door, steps away from my familiar booth.
Two men stood on the other side of the counter. Both wore suits, and both exhibited similar expressions of surprise. The man I’d heard speak was blond, and his suit was gray. The other had dark brown hair and a blue suit.
Lucas draped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me to his side. “Long story. She was with me when the call came, and it just happened. Let’s get on with it so I can get her home.”
The second man nodded. “Of course.” He turned to the man who had spoken first. “After you?”
Man Number One laughed. “That’s how you like it, isn’t it? I lay out all the sins, all the crimes, and then you jump in and explain them away.”
The other guy smiled. “Not at all. I was just trying to be courteous. I’d be more than happy to go before you.” He swept one arm out in front of himself. “But we should let the broker have a look first, don’t you think?”
The expression on his counterpart’s face darkened. He rolled his eyes. “Son of a bitch.”
Lucas ran his hand down my arm and slid his fingers between mine. He tugged me forward slightly, and sorrow fell over his eyes. “Jackie, I’m sorry. But I don’t want to let go of you here, and I need to—to see.”
I stumbled after him, my balance still off after our trip—or whatever the hell that was—and he led me around the counter to stand near the kitchen door. I followed his gaze down to the floor and cried out in alarm.
“No! Al—Lucas, it’s Al. Do something, call the ambulance.” I tried to pry my hand loose from Lucas’s so I could drop to my knees, but he only gripped it tighter.
“Jackie, I’m sorry. It’s too late. He’s gone. I’m so sorry.”
I sobbed and twisted, still trying to get away. “No, you don’t know that! Do something, won’t you? CPR or. . .” My cry trailed off as I saw the pool of blood underneath the body of my friend and the spread of crimson staining the front of his shirt. “What happened to him, Lucas?” I turned to face the two men who stood just beyond Al’s head. “Why did you do this?”
“They didn’t, Jackie.” Lucas held my hand between both of his and stroked the back of it. “Not them.”
“Can we get on with it?” The blond man shifted his weight to his other leg. “You’re not my only appointment tonight.”
“Give her a minute.” Compassion filled the voice of Man Number Two. “She knew him.”
“That’s the operative word here. Knew. What happened to his physical body isn’t germane now. He’s out of her world. Time to see what his next stop’s going to be.” Man Number One stared just past Al, his eyes cold and accusing. I sensed by the intensity of his focus that he was seeing something I couldn’t. “Shall we begin in childhood? Incident one. Hatred. Cardinal in nature, directed toward his father. Incident two. Theft. Venial—”
“Wait.” The second man held up one hand. He smiled at Lucas. “Look.”
Lucas was staring at the same spot as the blond guy. As I watched, a hum filled the air. My breath caught as Lucas’s eyes changed. They glowed golden, with a warmth and depth that made me dizzy all over again. His lips curved into a smile, and when he spoke, his voice carried a timber I hadn’t heard before.
“This soul is redeemed by Grace. There is no need for a recounting and Reckoning. He moves on to Paradise immediately.” Lucas inclined his head, and a whoosh of air blew past us. A moment later, his eyes returned to normal. The diner seemed somehow emptier, though the four of us still stood exactly where we had.
<
br /> “What happened?” I glanced from one of them to the other. “What was that?”
“The soul left.” Brown-haired man seemed pleased by the outcome.
“Another waste of time.” Blond guy shook his head. “I’ll never understand why we have to go through the motions when it’s a done deal.”
“If we didn’t, the idea of Grace would hold no weight. Besides, it’s not for you or me to make these decisions.”
I glanced from one of them to the other. “I don’t get it.” I looked up at Lucas. “Are you. . .the Angel of Death?”
The other two men laughed. There was more than a hint of scorn in blond man’s humor.
Lucas’s face remained serious. “No. I’m—” He cast a glance at them. “According to these people, I’m what’s known as a death broker. I negotiate the movement of souls.”
“Are you sure?” I persisted. “Because if you’re the Angel of Death, you can do something. You can bring Al back. It’s not his time. He wasn’t meant to die now, and not like this.” My breath hitched. “He’s a good man. He’s lived a good life. He should die in his bed, in peace. Why can’t you fix this?”
“I’m not the freaking Angel of Death, Jackie.” Lucas’s tone was anguished. “There is no such thing. Or if there is, I haven’t met him, which wouldn’t surprise me since no one tells me anything.”
I wasn’t giving up yet. “Are you sure? In all the books, there’s an Angel of Death. He takes the souls to wherever they go.”
The man in the gray suit laughed, but it was an ugly sound, full of derision. “She was expecting a brooding guy with stormy eyes who whisks people off to the River Styx.” He glanced Lucas up and down. “Instead she gets the absent-minded professor who doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing. Can you blame her for feeling a little let down?”
“That’s not fair.” Brown hair/blue suit sighed. “Lucas has had an unusual transition.”
Death Fricassee Page 8
