“How anyone who knew that man could hurt him. . .” Mrs. Mac smoothed her napkin with trembling fingers. “I just don’t see it.”
“None of us can.” Dena tried to smile. “Daddy was the best man I ever knew. He’d never hurt anything or anyone. I just can’t understand it.”
And so the loop began again, with everyone voicing questions that none of us had any hope of answering. My head began to pound as the past twenty-four hours started to catch up with me.
When Dena left a little while later, the rest of my company began to trickle out as well. I finally closed the door behind the last one at just after nine. I collapsed onto the sofa, and Makani licked my hand, whether in hopes of a second dinner or in an effort to comfort me, I wasn’t sure.
After a few minutes of wallowing, I sat up and looked out the window. One light shone at the house next door. I poured a glass of shiraz and dragged myself up and out to the porch, taking up my usual spot on the rocking chair. Makani trotted out with me and sat at my feet, sniffing the air with interest.
“What do you smell, baby? Is there a possum out there?”
“No, just your friendly neighborhood bloodsucker.” The voice that came out of the darkness was deep and slightly ironic.
I startled, bringing both feet down flat onto the porch. “My God, Lucas! You scared the hell out of me.”
“Sorry.” He stepped into the dim light and sat down on the step. “I saw you come out, and I thought it was probably safe to come over.”
“You could’ve come earlier.” I curled my knees up to my chest and hugged them. “Everyone was here.”
“Which was why I didn’t.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I couldn’t deal with all those people. The noise of the numbers would’ve been deafening. And it wouldn’t have felt right for me to be with all of you who knew Al so well. I would’ve felt like an intruder.”
I’d thought I was all cried out, but tears filled my eyes anyway. “You could’ve been here for me. It was a hard day. Everyone was talking about Al, and I kept seeing him, bleeding on the floor. I had to pretend to be like the rest of them.”
Lucas closed his eyes. “I’m sorry, Jackie. Sorry I couldn’t be here for you today, and sorry about you seeing Al last night. Of all the times for you to be with me when I was called. . .I don’t know why it had to be that one.”
I watched the way his hands moved his forehead, and despite everything, the day, the grief and the pain, I still felt a surge of want. In fact, if anything, the urge was stronger. I wanted to slither off the chair and crawl over to him, lay him flat on the wooden floor and cover his body with mine. A thread of desire ran down my middle to between my legs, and I licked my lips.
“Jackie?”
Lucas spoke again, questioning and hesitant, and I yanked my attention back to him. Rather, to what he was saying.
“Yeah. Sorry. . .distracted. Um, that’s not a picture I wanted in my mind. Everyone else gets to remember Al like he was: alive and funny and loving.”
“Pretty soon, that’s what you’ll remember, too.” Lucas slid closer to me and touched my foot where it rested on the edge of the rocking chair. “The good memories will replace that last bad image.”
“I still want to know what happened. I can’t believe you get to judge souls, but you can’t find out how they died. That seems like a bad plan.”
Lucas rubbed the top of my toes, making me shiver. “I don’t really judge the souls. I just use the guidelines I was given to tell them where they have to go.”
“I meant to ask you. What was up with your eyes, doing that weird glowing thing last night?”
“What weird glowing thing?” Lucas frowned at me.
“Right before you said the thing about Al being covered by Grace. Your eyes. . .they kind of went golden. Like whisky-colored, and they glowed.”
“Really?” Apparently this was news to Lucas. “Huh. I didn’t know that. But then, the only people around during a Reckoning are the advocates, and it probably wouldn’t seem out of the ordinary for them.” He moved his hand up to my ankle, tracing small circles on my skin. “You know, my eyes used to be blue.”
I shifted a little to give him better access. My heartbeat picked up speed the more he touched me. “Oh, yeah?”
“The morning after. . .Veronica, when I woke up, my eyes were brown. I didn’t realize it right away. I thought it was a vampire thing, but maybe it was more of a broker thing.”
I sighed as his fingers skimmed up the back of my calf. “Hmmm. You seem pretty hung up on the idea of being a vampire. How do you know that drinking blood isn’t part of being a broker?”
“I figured it was, until I mentioned something to the advocates that first night. I started babbling about the change and the blood, and the one from light looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language. I got them to tell me what I could expect as a broker, and drinking blood was not part of it.”
“Oh.” I tried to keep the disappointment out of my voice.
“I know.” Lucas sounded grim, but his fingers were gentle as they curved around my leg. “It would be so much easier if I were one thing or another, right? I could deal with being a death broker, I think. I mean, now that I am. I wouldn’t ask for the job, of course. It wasn’t on my list of future careers when I graduated from high school a million years ago. If that’s what I’m destined to do, I’d accept it. But tossing the vampire on top of it just sucks.”
We were silent for a minute. I bit my lip, but I couldn’t hold in the burst of laughter. My head fell back against the chair, and I wrapped my arms around my middle as my whole body shook. Lucas held tight to my leg and leaned his forehead onto it, his back moving up and down, too.
“Vampire—sucks.” I gasped the words. “You did not just say that.”
“It wasn’t that funny, Jackie.” But he was still chuckling, his breath hot on the bare skin of my leg. I let my head loll to the side and lifted one hand to touch his head. The hair beneath my palm was soft, nearly baby-fine, and I let it sift through my fingers. Lucas closed his eyes again and brought his face closer to my calf. He inhaled deeply. I would’ve thought he was sniffing my skin, checking out my body lotion, if he were anyone else. If I hadn’t know what he was.
And in that moment, it flooded over me, the knowing of it. Last night, I would’ve denied it was possible. I would’ve sworn such a thing couldn’t exist. But tonight, my belief trumped logic and rationality. I didn’t know any details, I had no idea how such things could be possible, but there was no doubt in my mind that Lucas was something extraordinary.
I didn’t care. The thrumming in my blood could only find one answer, and it lay in the man who now sat at my feet. His eyes met mine, and all humor fled. His pupils were dilated as he stared up at me. He shifted his head just enough that his mouth touched me. I felt the tip of his tongue against my skin, tasting, tracing, teasing.
Lucas didn’t move further. There was a question in his eyes, and I knew he was waiting for my permission. All I had to do was pull away the slightest bit, and he would stop. He might’ve been a death broker, he might’ve been a vampire—or half a vamp, whatever that meant—but my sexy professor was above all a gentleman. He wouldn’t push me into anything I wasn’t absolutely sure I wanted.
I wasn’t certain of anything at this point except that I did want this. I wanted him. If I’d taken time to consider, to weigh my options, I might’ve made a smarter choice. But I was tired, so damned sick and tired of being careful and cautious. I was done. I was ready.
So instead of moving back, I ran my hand down the side of his cheek to the line of his jaw. I raked the light stubble on his chin with the tip of my nail. His skin was warm, nothing like the hard, cold flesh described in vampire lore. Fleetingly I wondered if this were because the stories were wrong or if that just wasn’t part of Lucas’s particular strain.
My finger reached the side of his mouth, and Lucas turned his head to suck on it. I caught my breath as his tongue stroke
d the pad. He rose up on his knees, his arms sliding around my waist. I dropped my hand from his lips and let my feet lower to the ground. Lucas paused, his expression inscrutable.
“Jackie. . .” He spoke barely above a whisper, and I leaned forward to hear him. “Do you want to go inside?”
A slow smile curved my lips. “Oh, yeah. I really do.’
He nodded, but his face stayed serious. “I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t know if I might. . .hurt you. I don’t think I could, but you have to be aware of it up front. I can leave now, and I wouldn’t blame you for asking me to do that.”
I cupped my palm around his cheek. “I don’t believe you could. But I promise, if I feel at all like I’m in danger—that you’re out of control—I’ll stop you.”
He leaned in again until his mouth was at my ear. “Out of control doesn’t have to be a bad thing.”
***
MAKANI FOLLOWED US into the house, and I scooped him up, heading to the back door. Lucas looked at me with one raised brow.
“I need to take him out in the back one more time and then crate him. It’s his bedtime, first of all, and second. . .there’s never been a man in the house who. . .” I tried to figure out how to say what I meant without being presumptuous about what was going to happen. “Well, other than my family or neighbors. I’m not sure how he’ll react.”
“Okay.” Lucas glanced around my living room. “I’ll just sit down here while you take care of him. Unless you want me to take him out for you first? I don’t mind.”
I smiled. “That would be great. Just outside the back door, and he usually performs pretty fast at night. I’ll get his treat and water ready.” I set the pup on the floor and nudged him with my foot. “Go on, Makani. Go with Lucas.”
He looked up at me and then over at the man in question.
“C’mon, buddy. Let’s go do your thing so you can get your treat.” Lucas spoke the magic words, and Makani trotted after him through the kitchen to the back door. I refreshed the water dish and dug out his favor brand of Uncle Jimmie treats from under the sink. When the two males in my life came in a few minutes later, both seemed inordinately satisfied with themselves.
“He did everything he was suppose to.” Lucas grinned. “He earned his treat.”
“Wonderful.” I held up the little square of doggy goodness. “What’ll you do for an Uncle Jimmie treat?”
Makani went through his nightly ritual of dance like a diva, high-five and speak before he dropped to his back to squirm. I laid down the treat on the floor and counted to three before I nodded. “Okay, go.”
His little body gyrated over and gobbled up his reward. Lucas laughed.
“All of that for one little treat? You’ve got high expectations, lady.”
I smiled up at him from under my lashes. “You have no idea. But let me tell you. . .when I give you a treat, you’ll appreciate it all the more for the effort it takes.”
The temperature in the room seemed to rise about ten degrees as all humor fled from Lucas’s face, replaced by a need that was deadly serious. His eyes darkened again, and I watched in fascination as his tongue shot out to lick his lips. When he spoke, his tone was even but intense.
“Put the pup to bed, Jackie.”
I was tempted to tease a bit more, but something in his face told me play time was over. I picked up Makani and his water bowl and headed for the bedroom. I half expected Lucas to follow us, but he stayed in the living room while I settled the dog for the night.
I hooked the crate, and the puppy turned in his typical three circles before he lay down with a very human sigh. I whispered good night to him and turned to go out, stopping in mid-stride when I caught sight of myself in the mirror.
The only light in the bedroom was coming in from the hallway, but I could see enough. My eyes were still puffy from a day of crying, and my skin was devoid of makeup. I’d showered quickly during a break in visitors, but I hadn’t taken the time to dry my hair, so it hung in waves down my back. From where I stood, I looked every minute of my way-past-thirty years.
The thought of how Lucas must see me nearly sent me diving under the covers of my bed to hide from him. An image of Cathryn flashed across my mind, and I shuddered. Her smooth alabaster skin, perfect hair and tight little body made me feel old, sloppy and clumsy. And Lucas had admitted they’d been together this past summer. If he compared me to her, how in the world could I not come out lacking?
I closed my eyes and drew in a long cleansing breath, like we did in yoga. And then I lectured myself. You are who Lucas wants right now. The look in his eyes. . .there’s no mistaking what it means. Even if it’s just the scent of your blood that drives him crazy. . .at least something about you does. Go out there and be the strong, confident woman I know you are.
I grinned, knowing that last line had downloaded in my brain directly from Leesa. One more deep breath and I turned to go out, closing the door behind me.
Lucas was sprawled on the couch, the remote in his hand as he flipped through channels. The TV was on mute, and I shook my head as I sat down on the other end of the sofa.
“What?” He spared me a sideways look before the images on the screen stole his attention back.
“Men. Put you in a room with a television set, and you go on the hunt. You know there’s a guide on there, right? You can just see what’s on and click the show you want to watch. No more surfing needed.”
He grinned, bringing out the dimple to tease me. Yup, I was a goner. “But that’s the fun in it. The surfing. There’s nothing on here I want to watch, I was just killing time until you came out.”
“And here I am.” I swung my feet up to rest on the cushion between us. “And yet you’re still pushing buttons.”
Lucas hit the power key, and the television went dark as he tossed the remote onto the side table. He turned to face me, his grin becoming predatory. “Done pushing those buttons.” He began crawling toward me. “Ready to push others.”
My heart pounded at the glint in his eyes. At this moment, my sexy professor had disappeared, replaced by a panther prowling toward his prey. And lucky me, I was the entrée du jour.
He was on top of me before I could do more than let out a quick shriek. His strong arms caged me, the muscles in his forearms making my mouth go dry. His face was so close to mine that I couldn’t focus on it, so I shut my eyes as I lifted my hand to his jaw.
“Jackie.” His lips skimmed down to my ear and along my throat. “You’re trembling. Don’t be scared. I promise I don’t bite.”
My eyes flew open, and I leaned back to see him better. “God, Lucas, that’s the cheesiest vampire line ever. Look, if this is what you’re going to be, you need to come up with some new material. Some original stuff. No Bela Lugosi crap.”
“Hmmm.” His tongue darted out, and he licked my neck, tracing the line of my jugular. “Maybe I should ditch the talking altogether and just do this.” He lifted his head and moved to cover my lips in a kiss that effectively shut me up.
He nudged my mouth open with his persuasive tongue, and then used that tongue to stroke inside, drawing lazy circles before he withdrew and slid it back between my lips. I whimpered and snaked my arms around his back to hold him tighter.
Lucas drew back, dropping small kisses on each side of my lips and tracing them with his tongue before he worked back down my neck. I slipped my hands under his shirt to touch his skin, reveling in the warmth and strength of the muscles there. He groaned.
“God, Jackie. When you touch me, I can’t see straight. It makes me want to rip off all our clothes and just. . . take you. But I don’t want to go fast. I want to take my time and. . .enjoy.” He lifted the hem of my shirt and covered my bare stomach with one of his hands. “Savor.” His palm moved over my belly button, and his eyebrows lifted. “What’s this?”
I tilted my head, hoping it looked sultry and not silly. “What, this?” I brought my finger up to circle the piercing in my navel. “My belly button
ring?”
“Baby, that’s. . .” He covered my hand with his, playing with the small ring. “God. So fucking sexy. How long have you had it?”
I leaned back, enjoying the thrills of pleasure his fingers gave me as he traced the piercing. “About ten years, I guess. Leesa and I got them for our birthdays one year.”
“Ah, Leesa. Your wild friend who thinks I’m a superhero?” Lucas slid down my body as he spoke, bringing his lips even with his hands at my midriff.
“The same.” I gasped as his lips replaced his fingers. He sucked the ring into his mouth, and his tongue flicked at it. I fought to keep my hips from lifting up to get closer.
“Remind me to thank Leesa when I meet her.” As he continued to suck at my navel, Lucas walked his fingers up beneath my shirt to the band at the edge of my bra. He slipped two fingers under it, rubbing lightly. “Is this okay?”
“Uh, yeah.” I could barely speak over the pounding of my pulse.
“Good.” He slid his fingers further, stroking along the bottom of my breast and venturing up to tease one nipple. I wriggled, unable to be still any longer. He was lying between my legs, and I could feel his hardness against my knee. I wanted to reach for him, take him in my hand, but I was pinned down by his mouth and his hands. I tried to maneuver my hand lower. Lucas caught it.
“No, just be still. Feel.” He found the front clasp of my bra and twisted it open, giving a small growl of satisfaction as my breast, now freed, filled his hand. He palmed it, drawing ever-smaller circles around my hardening nipple, until he finally took it between his thumb and forefinger. I arched my back as he pinched it, sucking harder at my belly button ring at the same time. The pull of need stretched down between my legs, wanting him there now. I struggled, unsure of how to get him to move.
“Jackie.” Lucas rested his cheek on my stomach. “I need to. . .” He swallowed, and I watched his Adam’s apple work up and down in his throat. “I haven’t been with anyone since I was. . .changed. I don’t know what’s happening, except that for the first time, I want someone’s blood. Yours. The craving is insane. I want to make love to you, I want to be inside you, but I can almost taste you at the same time. It’s like the desires are linked.”
Death Fricassee Page 10
