More to say today, I am hope I can to write English fast enough. (I pretend to speak with you. This makes the words come.)
My coat is almost ready. Max says it would to be done quicker if no High Holidays, but it does not much matter because Walter and the store owner is not to come until next week. I went again to the factory today to try on. Max is pleased with how it looks. I imagine the uncles are too, as much as they can be pleased with anything. (Not much.) They should try to putting on one of the coats . . . I feel so happy when to wear a fur coat. I feel terrific guilt about this. I wear a mink coat while you wear old clothings that Mama must mend and mend. I remember this before and after I put on the coat. While I wear it however . . . well, I can not think of anything but how warm and soft it is, and how dashing I am in the mirror.
Oh, listen to me! This pretty coat is in my head. But Belle, it is such a pretty coat. The store owner must agree. He simply must. Once he sees this coat, he will buy it and order ten more, I just know it. And then the uncles will agree to bring all of you to Bensonhurst, because I got the factory such a large orders. And we all live happly ever after. (I know. Now I have vanity like you and am optimist like Papa. But is that such a horrid way to be?)
Oh! I forgot to mention where for lunch we wents! I will write about its tommorrow because my mind is tired from write English. Not too bad however, isn’t it? I will to keep practicing!
Saturday, 4 October 1941
Dear Belle,
I dream in English last night. This journal in English makes change in my brains . . .
Lunch yesterday we went to a place called the Automat. What a restaurant! No waiters, just machines, with rows and rows of buttons. Oliver and Mina would be in heaven to pressing all those buttons! All of the food is display in small glass windows . . . small plates of noodles with cheese, meat pies, sandwiches. . . . I will to spend hours looking at all the choices but it was lunch “rush hour” so it was very crowded.
Every one was very talking too, lots of argueings about some thing called the “World Series.” I gather that its a game of baseball (big sport here in America). From what I can tell, some people want to win the Bronx Bombers and others want to win the Bums, and everyone is very excited speaking his opinions.
Back to the Automat. I selected a cheeses sandwich. You put coins in the hole, push a button, and a little door open with the cheeses sandwich you just see, all ready to eat. Even more amazing were Max selection. He choosed an apple, a cup of coffee, and a piece of chocolate cake! That were all. He said he was celebrating how nice my coat looks, and I should to celebrate too. He gived me another coin, so I got a piece of blueberry pie.
After lunch I rided the subway to Bensonhurst all by myself. I was nervous but I made it just fine to home. (I really made such a long trip from Europe all by myself only 1 month before? It seem like ages!)
All together, its were a very nice start to October. And look, I realize that I just called the Max and Hannah’s apartment “home.”
Saturday, 4 October 1941
Dear Belle,
Freddy told me straight about the World Series! I saw him after lunch. He was walking outside his apartment building . . . back and forth, back and forth . . . like a dog with chain to a tree. It was quite the scene . . . I will to try to write it as it happened. (Good for English practice!)
First I asked, “What’s the matter?”
Freddy said, “What’s the matter? What’s the matter? Its a subway series here in Brooklyn, and I can’t go to Ebbets Field because its stinken Shabbat!”
Then think I would impress him with how knowing I am, I said, “You like the Bombers or the Bums?”
Freddy stopped and looked at me like I asked if he like ice cream or brussel sprouts. He said, “Please say you are joking.”
I admit I don’t very much know about the World Series. Freddy taked this very seriously and made me sit on the stoop for a lesson right then. He is not a patient teacher, but yes . . . I cannot describe in English . . . passionné. For Freddy it was most important that I understand the World Series right away.
Here is what he taught:
The World Series is the biggest baseball game of the year.
It is a championship between the 2 best teams.
This year the 2 teams are both from right here, New York. The New York Yankees and . . . the Brooklyn Dodgers. Brooklyn! Right here where wes live. No wonder every one are so excited!
More exciting, its Brooklyn Dodgers first time at the World Series since 1920!
Brooklyn Dodgers won on Thursday, so actually they are tied with the Bronx Bombers (Yankees). Freddy said, “They are to go all the way.”
“Go all the way” means win the World Series.
When we had this conversation, they was to play the next game in Ebbets Field (right in Brooklyn) in 10 minutes!
I asked to Freddy, “You have a ticket?”
He get very sarcastic, said, “Oh yeah. Front row. I’m going to bat too. I will hit the big sign and win a free suit.”
I stared to him. I have no idea what this means.
He shouted, “No I don’t have a ticket!” He said it didn’t matter because it is Shabbat and his mom watching to making sure he does not move from his stoop.
I looked up to his apartment window on the second floor and saw his mother there, yes watching every thing! She would not even let him open the radio. He said, “Its torture!”
I had an idea. “I’d wager Hannah let us put on the radio.”
Freddy lifted his head and said, “She will?”
“I think so. Your mother will let you come in my apartment?”
I did not even finish the sentence before Freddy was away. I saw him a moment later in the window, begging his mother. She looked down for me, and I politely try to look like a good, Sabbath-observing girl. I saw her agree yes, and Freddy to gave her a big hug. He burst to the sidewalk again so quickly he jumped down the staircase. A moment later, his brother Milton followed.
Milton said, “I’m to come along, to make sure you only to shoot marbles, like Freddy promised.” He did a thing with his eye . . . oh, what is the word in English? I can not think it now . . . but you know, when you close one eye quickly and smile like to share a secret.
Freddy said, “Let’s go!” He set off to my apartment. Oh Belle, it was very funny, because he wanted to go at my apartment quickly but he knew his mother would suspect him if he went too quickly, so he did an odd walk-and-run, like the legs of his trousers glued together.
Max was asleep (what is the word . . . daytime sleep . . . Mëttesrascht) so Hannah agreed to change the radio station (she was listening to music). Freddy knew which station for listen to the World Series. The excitement was catching. Max woke up soon, and we all listened together. Dodgers to go all the way!
Love,
Anna
Sunday, 5 October 1941
Belle,
Today I went at Freddy’s apartment to listen to the baseball game with he and Milton. Enid was there too, and she knew more about the players than anyone! It was a very exciting game because the Dodgers almost won, but then a player named Mickey Owen dropped the ball, and that must be very bad, because every thing turn sour. I could not follow exactly, but Freddy and Milton and Enid all screamed and pulled a terrific lot at their hair, so I did too. When I walked the 2 blocks back in my apartment after, it was as though all Bensonhurst were sad, like the Dodgers died instead of losed a baseball game. I made a good, serious face, but secretly I glowed with happiness to be part of the World Series.
When you arrive, perhaps we can all to go at a baseball game.
With love,
Anna
CHAPTER 20
Oh, Anna,” Madeline whispered. “Your family will never go at a baseball game.”
“It’s
killing me,” I said. “She’s so happy right now. She’s got no clue.”
“She’s got some clue,” Madeline pointed out. “Remember when she had that bad feeling? That dream or whatever.”
“Do you think that was because her family was being transferred to that transit camp?” I took out the paper with the summary from Yad Vashem and skimmed it. “The dates kind of match up.”
“I don’t know.” Madeline laid her elbow on the table and her head on her hand. “I mean, it’s not like this is a sci-fi novel, and Anna’s got supernatural powers. This all really happened.”
“You’re right,” I said. “As usual.”
“Of course. What would you do without me?”
I knew she was waiting for a clever comeback, but I wasn’t in the mood. Anna’s happiness was making me miserable.
Wednesday, 8 October 1941
Oh Belle, I am bursting with happy! The owner loved the coat, and he ordered 6 for his store! SIX! He was not friendly, he did not even said his name. But he did say, “It’s beautiful, just like this young model.” My cheeks got terrific hot, I tried to hide them in the collar of the coat. But oh! Can you imagine? I want to dance for joy!
The good news continues . . . I got a job at the factory! Here’s how: When Walter and the store owner left, Max placed 5 dollar bills in my hand. “For modeling,” he said. The uncles protested in Yiddish, and Max argued, calmly, right back. I’m glad he won the argument, because I need that money. You see, I was planning to ask Max for a job in the factory, to save money to bring all of you here. I was so very nervous to ask, but this money gave me courage. I didn’t do it very gracefully or surely . . . but I did said to Max, “I want to work. I can sew, I will learn fast. I will work every day.” Mamelikanner, it is good I was not asking for a job to give speeches. I did say the most important thing though, and I tried to say it loud enough so the uncles would hear, if they could understand. I said, “I want to save money to help my family come.”
Max looked sad for a moment, but then he resumed a normal look and rubbed his chin. First he said they will need me to model some more, and for me to help with the sizing of the 6 new coats . . . they will pay me for that time. Then he began talking to the uncles in Yiddish. They seemed to be coming to his side. Finally, Max gave the answer. “No sewing, but you can do odd jobs. Sweeping, running errands, answering the door . . .”
How perfect, n’est-ce pas? “I will come every day,” I promised.
He added, “After school.” (I was to begin school this week, but because Sukkot was yesterday and with the coat so important, I begin next week instead.)
Now it is set. One dollar each day. After school, I will take the subway for Manhattan to work at the factory, then come home with Max. It will be tired making, yes, but I will be helping, and saving money for you.
Uncle Egg opened a closet I have not noticed before, and he took out a broom. He held out it to me and said, “Nu?”
My job started right then! I used a big magnet to pick up nails from the floor (they call the magnet “the nail getter”), piled up the scraps of fur, and learned to work the door buzz. I can picture the big stack of Reichsmarks that Mama gave to the passeur. That was only enough for one, and the price is most surely more by now. I haven’t a clue how many dollars or cents it takes to make one Reichsmark, but no doubt it will take a long time for me to save enough. I am happy, though, because I will be one dollar closer every day.
Thursday, 9 October 1941
Oh Belle, another splendid day! To celebrate the coat, Hannah and Max took me to the cinema! Max wanted to see a picture called “Citizen Kane,” but Hannah wanted something light and fun, so she pointed to “Fantasia” . . . she said is so good it have been showing at the Broadway for 1 whole year. They gave me the final decision, and I choosed “Fantasia.” Maybe it is made for younger children (like Oliver or Greta . . . it has Mickey Mouse) but I thought it was wonderful.
Oh, I almost forgot. The World Series is over. The Dodgers lost. Freddy wears black every day. “I’m in mourning,” he said. “This is the worst week of my life.”
You would slap him. I wanted to, but I tightened my fists and just walked away.
CHAPTER 21
Last but not least,” Mrs. Coleman called, “Mayim Winter.”
Madeline sighed and stood up. “Wish me luck.”
“Good luck,” I said dully.
She took her haftorah up to Mrs. Coleman’s desk, leaving me alone with the diary and my unease, which had only grown from Freddy’s thoughtlessness. I probably should have waited to read on, but the next entries looked short, and it was too hard to resist.
Friday, 10 October 1941
Belle,
Two letters I got today, one from Papa and one from you! Just the sight of your penmanship made my insides turn to mush. Your letter say that Jews are now required to wear yellow stars on there clothes for identifying. You wrote, “Not the accessory I would choose, but I can make it work.” I must did read that sentence 500 times. It makes me smile even as it makes me hurt, I miss you so much, Belle. That sentence is simply you.
Apart from the stars, neither letter contains bad news, but they are both marked 10 September, a long time ago. I look at the newspaper each day, but there are never stories about Luxembourg. How I wish I could telephone! But if that is possible it must cost terrific much money, and there are no way the uncles would stand for it. At supper yesterday, we came to the subject of a lady Uncle Onion once knew. Hannah said that the lady wanted to marry him.
Uncle Onion look like that is silly idea. He said, “Why should I support some strange woman?”
Honestly!
Time for Chinese checkers.
Until later,
Anna
Later Friday Night
Oh Belle, I’m fuming with anger!
During our game, Max told me that he wanted to sponsor our whole family to come to America last year! They could have gived Mama and Papa jobs at the factory, but the uncles would not allow it. They said they could not afford the money! Max said, “That is probably true, but we would have found a way.” The opinion of Max does not matter because the uncles own the factory, so their signature needs to be on the paperwork, and they would not sign.
How I hate those uncles! If we did have sponsorship last year, it would have been easier and less money to get out of Luxembourg. We would not have need to pay a passeur at all, and I could have made the crossing with everyone! I would be talking with you right now instead of writing in this stupid journal.
I never liked those uncles. Now I hate them through and through. I HATE them. I hate them hate them hate them HATE THEM!
I slapped the diary shut, hating those uncles along with Anna. Didn’t they know that people’s lives were at stake? That they were separating a girl from her whole family just to save a little money? Like Madeline said, this wasn’t some sci-fi novel; these were real people whose lives were affected in a major way. My stomach churned as I realized that some of these real people were still alive. Grandpa Fred, Great-Aunt Janet . . . this was their mom’s life story. And here I was keeping it a secret from them. I was as bad as the uncles.
Well, not nearly that bad, but still.
How could I ask to learn more about my biological family if I was keeping secrets about theirs? I had to tell them about the diary. Right away.
“Nailed it,” Madeline sang, laying her haftorah portion on the table like a winning hand of cards. “Mrs. Coleman was so impressed, she said I can hang out with you two tonight.”
My blood was rushing through my body. I had a plan. “I think it’ll be just you and Mrs. Coleman. I need to bail.”
“What! How come?”
“I’m going to talk to my mom tonight, and probably my grandpa too.”
Madeline gasped. Leaned in. Widened her eyes.
“About finding your family?”
“Maybe,” I said, and it was really true, because my plan might be the perfect segue to my next-step words. “But first”—I tapped the diary—“I’m going to tell them about finding theirs.”
CHAPTER 22
Mom handled the diary like it was made of eggshells. She even asked Dad if he’d brought any rubber gloves home from the lab—she seriously thought her fingerprints would destroy the paper or something—but Dad and I convinced her that that wasn’t necessary.
“This thing made it across the ocean,” I told her, “and lasted seventy-five years on Grandma Anna’s shelf. It’s pretty solid.”
Jaime, on the other hand, flipped through it with all the care he gave the Lands’ End catalog when Mom decided he needed new shirts.
“It’s not indestructible,” I said, taking it back. “Sheesh, Jaime.”
“It’s technically mine too,” he said. “Grandma Anna left her books to all of her great-grandchildren.”
“Yeah, but you said you didn’t care about the books in her room.”
“Whoa, whoa,” Dad said. “You sound like Mom and her siblings fighting over Grandma’s silver.”
Mom shot him a look, but he returned it with one of his own, and she backed down, since he was right.
“The point,” I said, “is that this isn’t any of ours. Or it’s all of ours. I don’t know. If anything, it’s Grandpa Fred and Aunt Janet’s.”
“Imani’s right,” Mom said. She picked up the phone and dialed Grandpa Fred.
Five minutes later, we were all huddled in front of the computer, waiting for Grandpa Fred to Skype. The picture of the four of us filled the screen in the meantime, and I noticed how dark my skin looked next to my parents’ and Jaime’s. I see it every time the four of us are together, even reflected in a store window. It’s a split-second reminder, in case I forgot: Oh right. You’re adopted. Did anyone else in my family ever have that reaction?
The Length of a String Page 11
