The Courage to Dream

by Margaret Daley

  Rachel needed the conversation to end on a light note. Every time she and Michael had been together since she’d returned they had argued. She attempted a smile she didn’t feel and said, “Maybe if we stay out here long enough, Helen will recruit another coach.”

  “And lose my pecan pies! Never!” He started down the path toward the field. “You know I probably should have demanded those pies in advance. I may not be in any condition to accept them afterward. Thank goodness they’ve outlawed tarring and feathering.”

  “It’s been ages since I had a piece of Helen’s pecan pie. I’m sure you’ll want to share it.” Rachel snapped her fingers. “I’ve got it. Why don’t you bring both pies over after the fireworks later tonight for some coffee and dessert? I’ll supply the coffee.” There was a part of her that was amazed she had asked him to the house, but the other part of her needed his help with her sister and brother.

  Michael hesitated.

  “I could use your help with Amy,” Rachel added. She didn’t want to spend another evening warring with her sister. Founders Day was a time for family in Magnolia Blossom, and she was determined to observe it with her siblings even if that meant having Michael as a referee.

  “Okay, I’ll share the pies. After all, you’ll be contributing to the adult team.”

  “How?” she asked, relief evident in her voice. Finding reasons to be around Michael wasn’t the wisest thing. Surely if she looked hard enough, she could find someone else to help her with her brother and sister. But Michael knew what a family should really be. She’d always prided herself on seeking out the best advice and listening. That was the only reason she’d asked Michael over after the fireworks. Yeah, right, and the moon was made of cheese.

  “You’re refusing to play.”

  “I should be offended.”

  “I remember how you used to play.”

  “Now I know I’m offended.” She frowned with a gleam in her eyes.

  “Sports were never your forte, Rachel. You think a strike is something a union does when it wants more money.”

  “Well, it is.”

  Michael shook his head. “You’re hopeless. When I tried to educate you, I almost lost my mind. I don’t make a mistake more than once.”

  She heard the warning in his voice but chose to ignore it. She didn’t want there to be any tension between them. “Are you going to hold that Atlanta Braves game over my head forever?”

  “At least this time you got the name of the team correct.”

  “I was the chef for a party the owner had for the team. I had to learn real quick.”

  “Then there’s hope for you, after all.”

  “I know that a player is out if he gets three strikes. I read up on the game when I found out I was going to do that party. I didn’t want anyone asking questions I couldn’t answer.” Rachel was glad that Michael had picked up on her playful tone. “These games used to be fun. Since arriving here this morning, I get the distinct impression I’ll be entering a war zone. What happened?”

  “Helen took over.”

  “Oh.” Rachel laughed. “I see now. Helen’s one of the most competitive people I know.”

  “You’re probably the wisest person in Magnolia Blossom today.”

  “How come?”

  “’Cause you wouldn’t allow Helen to rope you into being a part of the team.”

  A part of the team. Sometimes she had a hard time putting into words why she couldn’t put down roots, was afraid to commit herself to anything that seemed permanent. This restaurant proposal was the first thing she had considered that would require her to stay in one place for any length of time. Maybe after ten years—no, twenty-eight years—she was tired of living a nomadic life. But never in her wildest dreams had she considered returning to Magnolia Blossom. The town was too small and too emotionally demanding. She had made her choice years before, and she was determined not to let herself become a part of this town—or a part of Michael’s life.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Rachel spread the blanket on the bluff that overlooked the river. Dusk settled around her as she waited for the fireworks display to begin and for her family to join her. The warm breeze, perfumed with the scent of mowed grass, caressed her face. The sound of the insects vied with the murmurs of people’s voices as they prepared for the evening’s activity. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the tranquillity.

  “You won’t believe that neighbor of yours.” Helen plopped down on the blanket next to Rachel. “I went by your house to leave you your very own pecan pie and he almost ran me down with that big, gas-guzzling car of his.”

  “Who?”

  “Harold Moon, who else?” Helen drew a quick breath and continued, “And when he almost backed into me, he didn’t even bother to say excuse me or anything. He just drove away. Actually, he burned rubber like he was angry that I was in the street in his way. I should be the angry one.”

  “Maybe he didn’t see you.”

  Helen gave her an exasperated look. “Not see me? Who are you kidding? I like my own cooking. You would have to be blind not to see me.” She scanned the area. “Where is everyone?”

  Glancing over her shoulder, Rachel saw Amy and her boyfriend, Kevin, strolling toward them holding hands. She indicated their approach with a toss of her head. Amy was paying close attention to something Kevin was saying, a look of rapture on her face. She was too young to be serious about a boy. She had too much to see and do before she settled down. Rachel was determined to make Amy see there was more to life than Kevin and Magnolia Blossom.

  “Ah, and I see Shaun, Garrett and Michael coming, too,” Helen announced as Amy and Kevin smoothed their blanket next to Rachel’s and sat, Amy smiling at Helen but ignoring Rachel.

  Rachel hadn’t meant to search the people beginning to populate the bluff, but she did and immediately found Michael among the crowd. Sometimes she wondered if she didn’t have a sixth sense when it came to him. There had been a connection from the first time she had seen him on the riverboat. It was powerful, compelling—frightening.

  Dark shadows spread along the ground as Michael settled himself next to Rachel, stretched his long legs out in front of him and leaned back on his elbows. “Good evening, ladies. A perfect night for fireworks, don’t you think?”

  “Sugar, it’s a perfect night for much more than fireworks.”

  “I do believe, Helen, you might be right about that,” Michael said, his drawl more pronounced than usual. His glance strayed to Rachel, and he winked.

  His impish grin generated a warmth in the pit of Rachel’s stomach that expanded outward. She was remembering the night they’d spent on this very bluff—the night he’d told her he wanted to marry her. She’d left Magnolia Blossom one week later when she’d received the offer from the cooking school in Paris.

  Rachel was thankful when the fireworks began. A spray of red and green streamed across the heavens like rubies and emeralds scattered across black velvet. Then another spray exploded above them.

  The light from the display cast Michael’s profile in golden splendor. He turned slightly, and his gaze seized hers for a long moment. The breath in Rachel’s lungs caught and held while she was trapped in his look. Gone from his expression was any merriment. In its place was seriousness as though he, too, remembered that night when he’d given her his heart and she’d stomped on it.

  She looked away as myriad colors splashed the darkness. Michael rose and walked away. She chanced a look and saw him stop by the line of trees where the cars were parked. He leaned against his truck with his arms and legs crossed while the fireworks continued to light up the night sky. His regard was riveted to her.

  She strode toward him. They had to talk about that long-ago evening on the bluff, or it would be there between them anytime they were together. She needed to explain why she’d run away.

  She halted in front of Michael. Words dried in her throat as she stared into his eyes. The hard set of his jaw and the tautness of his shoulders attested
to his feelings.

  “Remember the last time we were here?” he finally asked.

  “I don’t like to look backward.” She knew it wasn’t enough. The fireworks continued exploding above her. “My only defense is that I’m not good at relationships, Michael.” She didn’t explain herself often and had a hard time doing it now, but this was important. If they were going to be friends while she was in Magnolia Blossom she had to make him understand. “I never have been. I gave up after my fifth move as a child. It hurt too much leaving behind people I cared about.”

  “I’d hoped once that you would trust your feelings concerning us, or trust me at least. I’d hoped you could forget your past. You didn’t have to leave me behind.”

  “Yes, I did. You weren’t going to leave Magnolia Blossom for Paris. I had to see if I could do what I had dreamed about for years. You were already doing what you dreamed about. Your roots and soul were planted here in Mississippi.”

  “I would have waited if you’d asked.”

  “You didn’t mourn me long, Michael. You have Garrett as proof that your life went on. He’s nearly eight years old. I can add.”

  “Ah, so that’s what’s bothering you.”

  “No—yes. It didn’t take you long to find someone else. Garrett was born a few years after I left.” Rachel hadn’t meant for the hurt to seep into her voice, but she heard it and knew that Michael did, too. She could remember the pain that pierced her heart when Aunt Flora had broken the news of Michael’s marriage. Until that moment, she’d thought about giving everything up and returning to Magnolia Blossom and Michael.

  He shrugged. “Think what you like. The bottom line is that it didn’t work out between us ten years ago. I don’t like to dwell in the past any more than you do. My future is Garrett and, yes, Magnolia Blossom. That hasn’t changed. You’re right about my roots being sunk deep in the soil of this place.”

  “Where does that leave us?”

  “There is no us. We both agreed on that.”

  “Michael, if being friends is too difficult for you, then you don’t need to feel obligated.”

  The final burst of fireworks lit the sky with a brilliance that made it appear as if the sun had risen. “I want to help with Amy and Shaun. I care about them. They have been a part of my life for a long time.”

  She wasn’t alone in her battle. “Thank you.”

  “Don’t thank me yet. I’m not worried about Shaun. He’ll adjust wherever he is. Amy is a whole different story. I’m not sure she’s going to listen to anyone, including me. She’s bound and determined to remain here. No telling what she’s going to do. She doesn’t have wanderlust in her blood like you do, Rachel.”

  “It’s not a disease,” she retorted, pulling herself straighter. “Not everyone is like you.”

  “And not everyone is like you,” he countered instantly, pushing himself away from the bumper of the truck and standing a few inches in front of her.

  Her heart responded to his nearness by speeding up. She swallowed several times and stepped back to a safe distance, where she didn’t feel surrounded by him. “Touché. We agree that we are very different from each other.”

  “Are we?”

  She heard the amusement return to his voice as he moved around her and started toward his son. She whirled and watched him walk to Garrett and tousle his hair, then hug him. The love between father and son was so evident it touched a place in Rachel’s heart she didn’t think anything could affect. Garrett was lucky to have a parent like Michael.

  Pain buried long ago oozed to the surface. Clutching her arms to her stomach, she pressed inward, resolved not to let the tears flow. She didn’t cry anymore, had stopped doing that long before she had come to Magnolia Blossom to live with her aunt.

  She swallowed the lump in her throat and straightened. She depended on no one, and having to depend on Michael for help was leaving her feeling vulnerable. As soon as she was able to leave Magnolia Blossom and get on with her life, everything would be all right. But first she had to win her sister and brother to her side.

  She started for the group and arrived by Helen’s side in time to hear Amy mutter, “I’m not going to the house.”

  “That’s too bad, Amy. I was counting on you showing me that new CD you told me about.” Michael reached down, scooped up his blanket and began folding it.

  “You’re coming to the house?”

  “Who do you think is supplying the pecan pies? I worked hard for those pies and I don’t share them with just anyone.”

  Amy glanced at Kevin, who nodded. “Well, since Helen made them, I guess I could have one piece.”

  Helen helped Rachel shake out her blanket, then fold it. “I love hearing people talk about my pies like that.”

  “Why don’t you come over, too?” Rachel asked, realizing that if Helen was there Rachel would never have to be alone with Michael.

  “It’s been a long day. Winning is exhausting. This is your party. Enjoy. I’m going home to bed and dream of our victory.” Grinning as though she had a secret, Helen waved goodbye and strode toward her car.

  Rachel fought the urge to run after Helen and beg her to come to the house. Rachel suspected her friend was up to her old matchmaking tricks.

  “I want to ride with Garrett. Can I? Can I?” Shaun asked, hopping from one foot to the other as though he had so much energy he could barely contain it.

  “If it’s okay with Michael,” Rachel answered, longingly watching Helen as she drove away.

  “Sure. We’ll follow you to your house.”

  With the plans settled, Rachel headed for her car, aware that Michael and the boys were right behind her. She felt self-conscious as she walked. Even though it was dark, she sensed Michael staring at her. Relieved when she slid into her sedan, she started it and backed out of her parking space.

  She had a few minutes to compose herself before she had to entertain Michael. She looked in the rearview mirror and saw his headlights. Her palms were sweaty, and she rubbed first one then the other on her jeans. She was more nervous tonight than when she’d started dating Michael ten years before.

  Once inside her house she quickly took the pies from Michael and prepared the coffee. “Anyone want vanilla ice cream with their piece?” she asked. The group sat in the living room, silent, staring at each other.

  Shaun and Garrett said yes. Kevin declined, and Amy remained quiet. Deciding her sister’s answer was a no, Rachel looked toward Michael. She wished she could accept his help without being in the same room with him.

  He smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “Pecan pie was invented specifically for vanilla ice cream. I’ll help you.”

  That was not the kind of assistance she’d wanted. “Fine,” she murmured when she couldn’t think of a reason to refuse him.

  Her hand quivered as she cut the pie. The kitchen was too small for her and Michael, the air charged with a finely honed tension that had nothing to do with Amy. Perspiration beaded on her forehead. She attempted to scoop some ice cream, but ended up bending the spoon, which clanged to the countertop. The sound seemed to echo through the kitchen.

  “Here, let me try.” Michael took another spoon from the drawer and ran it under hot water, then dipped it into the frozen dessert.

  Rachel flushed. She knew better. She was letting him get to her—again. “I wish I had my utensils and equipment here. I didn’t think to bring them. This wouldn’t have been a problem.”

  “Do you travel with your own cooking utensils?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then why didn’t you bring them?”

  “Because—” She hesitated, not wanting to voice her reason.

  “Because you didn’t think you would be here long?”

  “Right. But Shaun and Amy’s opinions made me reassess the situation.”

  Michael didn’t say another word. His mouth firmed into a hard slash as he worked to get the ice cream out. After completing the preparations, he handed her two plates to take
into the living room while he took the rest.

  After the dessert was served to everyone, along with coffee or milk, Rachel sat on the couch next to Michael, the only empty place left in the living room. No one spoke while they ate, and she was glad for the reprieve while she collected herself.

  “Now that school is out, Amy, what are your plans for this summer?” Michael asked as he placed his mug on a coaster on the coffee table.

  Her sister shot Rachel a withering look. “That all depends on where I’ll be. Why plan anything if we aren’t gonna be here?”

  “You’ll be here.” Rachel raised her mug to her lips, hoping the action would keep her from having to say anything further.

  “Helen wants me to work at Southern Delight again.”

  “How about the summer arts program in Natchez?” Michael asked as he brought the last of his piece of pie to his mouth.

  Amy shrugged. “I don’t know if I’m gonna do it.”

  “What’s that?” Rachel asked, again reminded she really didn’t know her brother and sister very well.

  Michael turned to her. “Amy is a gifted actress. For the past two summers she has gone through the program to hone her skills. Students from all over Mississippi attend for three weeks in July. Last summer they did The Diary of Anne Frank at the end of the session. Amy played the lead role.”

  “I didn’t realize. You should do it, Amy,” Rachel said, wanting to encourage her sister.

  “Why? What difference does it make?”

  “It’s an honor to be invited to attend.” Michael took a sip of his coffee. “Besides, I look forward to seeing you up on the stage again.”

  Amy stared at her hands, which were folded in her lap, and mumbled, “I’ll think about it.”

  “The theater is one of the things I love about New York. You can’t get any better than Broadway.” Rachel finished her coffee, satisfied that at least her sister was talking.

  Amy’s head shot up, and she speared Rachel with a look that was meant to freeze. “I want to go to Hollywood. That’s where everyone goes, not New York.”