by Storm Chase
“Well, he said you’d probably throw stuff and yell a lot first but that I mustn’t mind that because that’s what girls do when they’re upset,” Xavier conceded. “But I see men doing that too so it’s not exactly a female thing, is it? Paco is quite sexist, I think.”
“Right,” Pandora said faintly.
Xavier was rubbing his arm absentmindedly. Pandora saw a red mark rapidly turning bluish black. Seeing her look, he grinned. “Mac gave me hell. He says I’m a brainless fuck.” He examined the spreading bruise. “I’m lucky he just wanted to make a point. I’d not like to take Mac on in a fight. As it is, he’s seriously pissed off. He said he’s never taking on a job with me again. I really hope he’s not serious. He’s a good man, and I wouldn’t like to lose him.”
Oddly enough that made Pandora feel better. “He doesn’t normally work for you?”
“He’s a contractor and he’s picky,” Xavier explained. “When I first called him about you he thought it was a kill mission and refused. Even when I told him it was a debrief and transport, he still took some convincing. Luckily he took my word for it that you’d pass.”
Pandora felt a shiver of ice. “And if I’d failed?”
“No chance of that, Panda.” Xavier said confidently. “I’d been watching you, remember? The debrief was totally unnecessary but the Committee insisted. It was a small thing, so I thought it better just to agree.”
She’d never get used to the casual way he talked of violence. He clearly had no idea that having someone pump her full of drugs was a problem. Pandora decided to change the conversation. “Where are you from, Xavier?”
“I was born in Germany,” he said, clearly surprised at the change of topic. “But I’m British. My father is in the military. Air force, not army like yours. I was a service brat; always moving from place to place.”
“And your mum?”
“She was Spanish. She died when I was little. I don’t remember her at all.”
Pandora thought for a moment. “If you’re British, doesn’t it worry you that the people you work with are stealing secrets from us?”
“I don’t care about patriotism, duty, and honour,” Xavier shrugged. “The only important thing is to look after number one.”
“That’s a terrible philosophy,” Pandora said hotly.
“When I was 14, I hacked into a missile launch system,” Xavier said quietly. “I left a message telling them how to fix it but they weren’t grateful at all. They locked me up and told me I’d spend ten years in prison.”
Pandora was horror-struck.
“Back then most people didn’t know much about computers,” Xavier said. “I hacked the security system and left.”
“Don’t you miss your father?”
Xavier’s face hardened. “I called him once when I was 16 because I got into some trouble in Minsk.”
“What happened?”
“He reported me to the authorities. I don’t speak to him anymore.”
That’s something we have in common, Pandora thought. Xavier’s father sounded as cold as her own. “You’re still locked up,” she pointed out. “You can’t even go jogging by yourself.”
Xavier shrugged. “I have all the freedom I want.”
“It’s not enough for me.”
He gazed at her. “I can’t help that, Pandora,” he said softly. “And I can’t change it.”
They sat silently. “This is all my fault,” Xavier said bitterly. “I thought I was doing the right thing.”
She thought about the things she’d seen and heard. The mysterious Committee had taken her out of Admiralty House and transported her to Africa without a problem. Clearly they could do whatever they wanted. She now had little doubt that without Xavier she would have been pushed under that train, complete with fake suicide note in her pocket.
“Maybe you did do the right thing,” she murmured. She was feeling awfully tired. Shock, she thought vaguely. It had all been too much.
He put his arms around her. The warmth of his body was comforting. She leaned into him, breathing in his scent; the lemony leather notes warmly familiar. In this frightening world, he was the only one who cared.
“I’m a mess,” she said into his neck. “What’s going to happen when you get bored with me?” She remembered that video Ramon had shown her with a shiver.
“That won’t happen,” Xavier said confidently. “I’ve never fallen for anyone before. My people used to send me girls but since I saw you I told them to stop. I only want you.”
Pandora went cold with horror. She instantly forgot about the plight of the girls downstairs. What if he had some disease? Her memory of last night was so fragmented that she couldn’t remember if he’d used a condom.
“Are you all right, Panda? You’ve gone all stiff.”
“Did you use a condom last night?” she asked hoarsely.
He laughed. “Don’t worry. Everything was taken care of while you were in the clinic. I gave them your medical history. They did all the usual tests and made sure your contraceptive was up to date. You’re using Nexplanon, right? Because you didn’t want to have any periods for a while? Well, I told them to make sure everything was all still all right.”
Pandora swallowed. She knew he’d been spying on her for weeks so the fact that he knew her medical history, right down to the tests she’d taken after becoming engaged to Richard so that they didn’t have to use condoms anymore, shouldn’t make any difference. Yet it did. She felt like a puppet; pulled about without a will of her own.
Xavier clearly didn’t suspect what she was feeling. He was rubbing her hair affectionately as he talked. “If I’m sick I can’t work so my people are paranoid about my health. When I’m working on a project there are times when they won’t even let someone with a bad cold get near me.”
It sounded very nice - if you didn’t know what sort of work he was doing, Pandora thought. She felt too tired to talk anymore. Her head was splitting but the way he was rubbing her neck was soothing. Although it was just a small cut, her wrist was also throbbing.
“Look, Panda, I won’t let you kill yourself,” he sighed. “I’ll keep an eye on you and I’ll have Ramon watch you while I’m working.”
Her stomach instantly clenched with dread. “No!” she said strongly. She sat up and looked him straight in the eye.
“It’s for your own good.”
“Honest, I’m over it,” she said urgently. “I don’t want to die. I was just miserable and afraid. I’m not trying it again.” As she said it, she knew it was totally true. She couldn’t see herself cutting her wrists now. Never again.
“Promise?”
“Promise!” she said hastily. Anything to keep away from Ramon.
“All right. I know you always keep your word.” She could see he was thinking again. “Did you really try to kill yourself because you were scared?”
She struggled with the words. “Yes, but it’s not all your fault. I mean, I did think about it once or twice after I broke up with Richard.” She had to be honest. “I wouldn’t have, I don’t think, but now I’m frightened of everything, Xavier. I’m really scared.”
“Are you afraid of me?”
“No.” It came straight from the gut.
“Good.” He was relieved. “Look, when you’re scared, you must tell me, all right? You have to promise.”
“That’s going to be all the time.”
“Like now?”
“No.”
“So not all the time.”
He was extremely annoying.
“I can’t see what you’re thinking, Panda. And you know now that my guesswork is terrible so you have to tell me.”
“All right.” She was so tired that all she wanted to do was sleep.
“Good. I told Ramon to get us a pizza for dinner. Pepperoni and pineapple. Your favourite.” Xavier was steaming ahead. “We’ll eat, have some wine and then you go to sleep. I’ll make sure you’re okay.”
She was too tired to argue. �
�All right.”
“I have to work for the next few days but you stick close to me. I want to keep an eye on you.”
“I thought you didn’t want your clients to see me.”
“I don’t, but your safety is more important than any trouble it might cause.”
His concern silenced her.
“Look, if you think of a way for you to get out safely, and without compromising our security, you can tell me,” Xavier said. “I’ll listen.”
His words gave her a ray of hope. It occurred to her that if he went with her, he could help her persuade the authorities of what had really happened. Xavier had changed outfits before so maybe she could talk him into leaving with her. Despite everything, she didn’t want Xavier going to prison. Maybe they’d give him immunity. They did that on television all the time.
Xavier was rubbing her back and talking to cheer her up. “And don’t forget that we’re not here forever. My place is much better than here.”
“Where do you live?”
“It’s a surprise,” he smiled. “You will love it. I know you will. It’s a place we’ve talked about. And once we’re home, you can get out and about as well.”
“With a pack of minders tagging along.”
“They’re there for your protection.”
And to see I don’t run off, Pandora thought. Xavier clearly cared for her but he had a blind spot about the people he worked with. Mac’s words came drifting back to her: they get nervous when you don’t fit.
If she was going to survive this, she had to fit in. Xavier was sitting next to her, watching her with a slightly anxious look.
“Pizza sounds great,” Pandora said. “And I’d like a glass of wine too.” A drink would give her courage, she thought. Or at least dull her senses. She wanted to switch off.
Xavier smiled at her. “You’ll be fine, Panda. I know you will.”
Chapter Seven
They shared a bottle of wine. Pandora was aware she was getting a little bit tight. Xavier was sitting sideways again with one leg curled up underneath him, one foot on the floor and the pizza box balanced on his knee.
“Have a slice, Panda,” he was urging her. “You didn’t eat anything today.”
“I’m not very hungry,” she confessed.
He looked at the pizza and frowned. “Are you worried again? It’s not drugged, Panda. Pick a slice if you like and I’ll taste it.”
She had a vision of munching her way through half-eaten slices of pizza and had to laugh. “It’s not that. I’m just not very hungry.” But he looked so anxious that she took a slice and bit into it. It was very good.
“You’ve got to eat,” he was worrying out loud. “I won’t put anything in your food again, or your drink. Promise.”
“All right.” She smiled but she didn’t really believe him. After Sir Harry’s tea, Mac’s bottled water, and the spiked Mars bar, she didn’t trust anyone anymore. Still, it was hard to see how anyone could drug only part of a shared pizza or a bottle of wine, so she ate and drank. She was utterly exhausted but Xavier looked totally fresh. He took out his phone and glanced at the time.
“I start at four tomorrow morning,” he announced. “Sun’s up by six so we need to get going a bit before that.”
He was systematically picking the pineapple out of his pizza and putting it on the side.
“You don’t like pineapple,” she said.
“I do but not with pepperoni.”
So he’d ordered it because it was her favourite. She was touched. She picked the pineapple off his plate and put it on her pizza. Instantly he beamed at her. His smile lit up his face, warming the amber eyes.
“How did it go today?” It was an automatic question asked at random, as if she were making conversation during an awkward date. She didn’t really expect to get an answer but to her surprise Xavier became enthusiastic.
“It went great! It’s actually very interesting. Turns out that this whole thing is about a diamond mine - or at least, a suspected diamond mine.”
Pandora’s interest was sparked. Diamonds were interesting and it didn’t sound violent either. “What are you doing then?”
“Someone came back with a geological report about a potential mine; problem is, it’s in rebel territory. My job is to clear the area. We’re working a mix of distraction and misinformation. We created a little battle to the north that drew some rebel troops out. As a follow-up we’re also creating a rumour that there’s an outbreak of Ebola.”
“Will they believe that?”
“Sure! The Ebola River is only a few miles away so they’re always having outbreaks here.”
Pandora shivered. “Is that the disease where you bleed to death?”
“It is in the movies,” Xavier said happily. “But in real life you just die of total organ failure.”
“That’s much better,” Pandora said dryly.
“I don’t think it matters really,” Xavier said judiciously. Then he stopped and stared at her. “You were joking! Oh Panda, you’re feeling better again!”
She had to smile. “Sort of. That mini-battle. Does that mean you’re luring people to their deaths?”
He shrugged. “They’re at war. I’m just getting them to fight in one place rather than another. I don’t think we’re making any difference to the bottom line. Except that when they clear the area, and if there are diamonds there, our clients will be able to re-arm themselves. It will get them the edge they need to take proper control. You never know if this is what eventually stops the fighting.”
Pandora was silent. She realised she was totally clueless about this war. All those African disaster reports on the news looked alike to her. The only Congo film she could think of was the one where scientists looking for diamonds found a new type of ape. She’d liked Tim Curry but she couldn’t remember any mention of a war.
“Why don’t they hire you to finish it once and for all?” she asked curiously.
“Because it wouldn’t work!” Xavier said honestly. “It’s not like one country trying to invade another; they’re fighting amongst themselves. And everything is very low-tech. If it were somewhere like the Middle East where everything is computerised I could do real damage but here it’s just people with guns in the jungle. Some of them are out of touch with everyone else for days, sometimes weeks. It’s a challenge just to find out where these people are!”
He helped himself to another slice of pizza, totally oblivious to Pandora’s look of horror. How could he talk so calmly about messing about with people’s lives?
Xavier chatted on happily. “I could help them win a battle here and there but there would always be guerrillas. Like in Ireland and Afghanistan, or like Columbia’s FARC or Peru’s Shining Path. It’s never-ending.”
“I hate fighting,” Pandora said vehemently. “People are always yelling at me, and I loathe it.”
“Well then you should put a stop to it before it starts,” Xavier said calmly. “I mean, honestly, Panda, you really do ask for trouble sometimes.”
“What do you mean?” she asked indignantly.
“When people yell at you, you just roll over and let them walk all over you,” Xavier pointed out. “Once they know they can get away with it, they’ll do it again and again. You set yourself up as a target for bullies.”
She sat staring at him. “I thought you can’t read emotion?”
“I didn’t say I was stupid. I have feelings and I do know how emotion works, Panda.”
“And I’m stupid?”
“When it comes to dealing with bullies, yes, you are very stupid,” Xavier said calmly.
Pandora swallowed her anger. “What should I do then? Hit back?”
“That’s what most people do but if you ask me, it’s better to bash first,” Xavier said coolly. He put the empty pizza box on the table and settled himself comfortably. “When I first broke out of that prison, I didn’t know how to handle myself. Being on the run meant I had lots of people taking advantage.”
Instantly her mind’s eye showed her a scared teenager, dodging the police and running into serious trouble with all sorts of gangsters.
“In those days I didn’t know martial arts and I didn’t have the guts to use a knife or a gun. I got creamed a couple of times before I toughened up. By the time I was seventeen I could win or dodge most fights. Then I figured out that the safest way is to beat them before anything starts.”
The planes, Pandora thought. That’s why he’d set those missiles to take aim at their homes and the places they worked. Bash them before they bash you.
“You can’t shoot and you don’t do martial arts, Panda, but you have a brain and a tongue. The simplest way to defend yourself is to see what someone values most and to threaten it. Like that time when Sir Harry was chasing you and you ended up hiding in the stationery cupboard.”
“You know about that?”
“Sir Harry thought it a good joke. He told some people while I was watching.”
Xavier put an arm around her and rubbed his chin on her shoulder. It felt knobbly yet soothing; like Shiatsu massage.
“You knew he values his public image; you could have used that against him. If you’d told him you would report him for sexual harassment, and leak the report to the newspapers, he would have backed off immediately,” Xavier pointed out.
“I don’t think like that,” Pandora said. But a little voice inside her said that maybe it was time she learned. Her mind went back to that conversation she’d overheard in the train. “What does eviscerate mean?” she asked.
Xavier laughed. “I never know what you’re going to say next! It means to disembowel. It’s a traditional punishment used by the triads.”
“That’s Chinese gangs, right?”
“Yup. I worked with a group in Hong Kong for a few years. That’s where I got my tattoo.”
“It’s a gang tattoo?”
“No way! Only idiots advertise that they’re part of a gang! I just liked it.”
“And that’s why they call you Dragon.”
“Yes. It’s a bit ironic really because the head of the triad is called Dragon. I was just an ordinary Blue Lantern, that’s what they call associates who aren’t initiated gang members.”
