by Myra Scott
“I see,” I said, leaning forward and furrowing my eyebrows. “And he’s okay with doing this?”
“Neither of us are okay with it,” Zane said with a sigh, and I could tell he was holding a lot back. I could hardly blame him. “But our personal relationship is strong, and he’s an understanding man. Both of us want this to be as long-term as possible, which is why we’re putting the brakes on things for now.”
I could feel my heart sinking like an anchor in cold waters. So, that’s why he was okay with doing it this way. It was temporary.
I suspected it would go this way if I was being honest with myself. But part of me had been holding out hope that the shock of Zane even bringing up the news would be enough to put a wedge between him and Diego.
Only when confronted with that thought did I realize just how wrong I had been.
Still, I had what I wanted. I could be happy about that, at least.
Right?
“I’m glad we could come to an agreement about this,” I said, managing my best Mick intonation as I spoke carefully. I was even guarding my internal emotions. I couldn’t risk getting into another fight, not after everything that had been happening lately.
“Here’s how I’m going about things,” Zane said, putting his hands on the table, ready to explain. “I’m giving you and Mick as much time as you need to get a full staff hired and trained. I want you to hire as many as you think you’ll need for the volumes of people we’ve been having. I can’t close the casino for you, but I can at least let the crowds die down enough that you have some breathing room. Give them training wheels before we open the floodgates again.”
I nodded. Zane was being remarkably reasonable, all things considered. I wondered if he knew how calm and collected he sounded to me. It was like adding insult to injury—he was being the bigger man, and that stung like venom.
“On top of that, I’m getting the new security systems installed like Bart asked,” he explained. “This is a complete overhaul. We’re throwing out all the old stuff and putting in new, updated cameras that should have no blind spots, and that includes a complete rewiring of the security room. I already talked to Bart about all this, he’s head over heels.”
That made me crack a smile. It felt a little like working with Zane a few months ago, before everything with La Torre started and I felt better about, well, everything.
“And once that’s done?” I asked, afraid of the answer.
“Once that’s done, assuming you and Mick have everything squared away with the staffing and the security systems are back up and running, then I’ll just need to make sure Bart is happy with his security staff, and then I’ll start talking to Diego again about bringing the business back up to pace.”
I wanted to protest. I wanted to make up some excuse about delaying things further or even breaking off relations with La Torre entirely.
But deep down, I knew that was as impossible as demolishing the bridge between the two casino towers.
“That’s reasonable,” was all I could say. There was terse acceptance in my voice, but I was still bitter. That sting was still deep inside me, and there was nothing I could do to get that out as long as things went on this way. “Thanks for dealing with this, Zane. All of us appreciate it.”
He gave a tight smile and a nod.
“Well, that’s all I wanted to say,” Zane finally said, and he stood up. I opened my mouth to stop him. I wanted to apologize. I wanted to spill my guts to him. I wanted to confess what I felt.
But none of it felt right, and I knew it simply wasn’t. This wasn’t me, and I wasn’t for Zane. All I had were my feelings. And now that I’d gotten my way, all I had accomplished was ensuring that things would change for a week or so at best, then go right back to the way they were.
I’d be pining over Zane again, and Zane would be off with Diego again, and there would be no way I could break them up without being painfully obvious. Besides, I’d already embarrassed myself enough.
I was a man. More than that, I was one of the owners of the casino. This wasn’t the proper way for me to carry myself. I’d have to bury my feelings, and this time, I’d bury them deep.
“Sounds good, Zane,” I said curtly, and we exchanged a nod.
“Have a good one,” Zane said mutely, and he walked toward the door.
But he stopped, halfway out, and he looked over his shoulder at me. “And listen, Gage…”
I sat up, furrowing my eyebrow, and Zane turned around to face me with a serious and sad look on his face. “I was honest when I said I’d forget our argument—we don’t have to speak about it again, but that’s just me.” His eyebrows furrowed, and he inclined his head to me meaningfully. “You need to apologize to Mick for the way you talked to him. I’m one thing—Mick is another. Is that going to be a problem?”
We locked eyes for a long time, and for once, I held back the instinct to fight.
“Yeah, Zane,” I said sincerely, even though my tone was defeated. “I’ll talk to him.”
“Thank you,” he said, and he slipped out of the office without another word.
Left alone, I sat back in my chair and let out a long sight.
“Fuck,” I muttered to nobody.
I was back at square one, having done nothing but turn all my friends against me and make myself wish I had never been born.
Well, it wasn’t all for nothing.
I looked at my phone and thought about Devin. Every time I wanted to vent, he was there, and he was proving to be a damn fine therapist. Still, we had barely said anything to each other since…
I let my head sink into the palm of my hand on my desk. Christ, I really was behaving like a monster. I needed to make it up to him somehow, and a talk with him sounded like the best thing in the world.
I picked up my phone and texted him.
Hey. Do you want to get a drink? On me. We haven’t talked in a while.
I waited a bit, and it wasn’t long before he replied. He was always quick, no matter what he was doing.
sure. hard day at work.
I raised an eyebrow and replied.
Same here. We should chat about it. :)
His reply was almost instant.
I’d like that…
Devin was someone I could understand. He was straightforward, uncomplicated, and sweet. And he was incredible when we were fooling around, too. Even the simplest little interactions made my heart flutter, and he gave me the kind of relief I wish I could have with Zane.
And if things were going to go back to the way they used to be with Zane and Diego prancing around the casino like they owned all of us, then I’d need Devin more than ever. I’d have to buckle down and stay on his good side, which meant apologizing for the other night.
I had a lot of apologizing to do.
Things weren’t ideal, but I was feeling better than I had in a long time, and I wanted to share that with someone who might get something out of it too. Hell, maybe I could find a way to make up for what happened the last time things got steamy between the two of us. Maybe it was time to treat Devin the way he deserved to be treated.
After tossing the phone around in my hands a bit, I replied to his last message.
Meet me by the elevators, I want to show you something special. ;)
In a hurry tonight?
No, not like that!!!
lol ;) c u there
I rolled my eyes, chuckling at our back and forth. Finally, I stood up, pushing my bitterness out of the way. I was going to go have a nice drink with a nice guy and enjoy myself or die trying.
Devin deserved that, and so much more.
But I was hardly the man to give it to him.
CHAPTER TWELVE - GAGE
“Are you sure this is okay?”
“No, it absolutely isn’t,” I said as the elevator carried us
up the tower. “But the security cameras are getting changed tonight, so we won’t have to worry about anyone watching this particular room too closely.”
“Just back me up if they try to fire me,” Devin said with a nervous laugh that told me he was genuinely kind of nervous, and I couldn’t help but chuckle.
“You never got into much trouble when you were a teenager, did you?” I asked, raising an eyebrow with a playful glint in my eye.
“Nah,” Devin admitted. “I was kind of a nerd.”
“I think it’s cute,” I said, and watching that old familiar blush come to Devin’s face made my heart flutter. The fact that a single sentence from me could do that to him made me happy in a way I couldn’t explain.
“I wish I’d been a little more adventurous in hindsight,” he said reluctantly, glancing out the window. “I can’t relate when people talk about their young and wild years. I was in band.”
“You were in band?” I gushed with a growing, teasing smile that made him blush even harder. “Oh my god, that’s amazing.”
“Sometimes I think about how ridiculous I’d look to anyone who knew me back then,” he said, and there was a hint of sadness to his tone. “I was top of my class, and now I’m dealing blackjack at a casino.” He looked up at me, suddenly embarrassed. “Uh, no offense. It’s a fantastic casino. But when all the expectations were for me to be like…a doctor or something,” he trailed off.
I gave him a small smile and nudged him with my elbow. “Hard day, huh?”
“Very.”
“Well, I can’t go back in time and help you break into abandoned buildings instead of studying for exams,” I said, “but I can show you something none of the other employees get to see.”
“I’ve already seen your cock, you know,” Devin said with a wink, and I felt a grin spread across my face involuntarily.
“Careful now,” I said. “How do you know you’re the only one?”
His face fell, and I felt like I’d kicked a puppy. I backpedaled hastily. “I mean, you are. But not because— I meant to say—”
His smirk started to creep back onto his face, and I rolled my eyes as we both broke out in soft laughter. He leaned in and bumped me with his shoulder, and I did the same back at him.
“I can’t decide if you’re doing a fabulous or awful job gunning for employee of the year,” I said once we settled down and the elevator door slid open.
“I’m just full of surprises,” Devin mused sarcastically, and we made our way down the hallway to the large doors of the private lounge.
Yes, it was the lounge that Zane and Mick and Bart and I all used for our private meetings. It was supposed to be the one place nobody else in the building was allowed. But if there was anyone who deserved rules to be broken for him, it was Devin.
“Again, can’t stress this enough,” I said, smiling wickedly at him as I put my thumb on the security pad scanner, “don’t tell anyone about this.”
“I don’t have anyone I’d tell,” Devin said with a chuckle, and we stepped inside.
As soon as we were in, Devin’s jaw dropped.
“Oh my god,” he gushed, “this is amazing.”
I was kind of used to the simple elegance of the secret meeting lounge by now, but stepping in and looking at it through Devin’s eyes, I could definitely see why he was impressed, and I felt a sense of pride in it.
“Nice, isn’t it?” I said. He stepped in and ran his hand over the piano as his shining eyes looked out the massive windows onto the stunning view of the strip below. “A lot of money came from our personal accounts to make this place happen. It’s like a sanctuary.”
“You’re not helping me feel less guilty about being here, you know,” Devin said with a smile.
“I like breaking the rules from time to time,” I said, approaching him and flashing a charming grin. “Speaking of,” I added, and I pointed to the bar. “Top shelf stuff. What’ll you have?”
“Oh, you’re bartending tonight? Is that what you meant by ‘drinks on me’?”
“I thought about going to the club, but I decided something a little more private might be better,” I admitted. “Besides, it sounds like you’ve had it rough. C’mon, what’ll it be?”
Devin bit his lip and leaned on the piano, thinking for a few moments, and it struck me how much I liked the way he looked with that playful, thoughtful look on his face. That ass of his helped, too.
“Is a whiskey sour weird to ask for?” he finally said, and I chuckled.
“Maybe a little,” I said. “When you’ve got top shelf whiskey, you don’t want to try to mask the taste with mixers too much, you want something that brings the flavor out more.”
“But whiskey tastes like shit!” Devin protested playfully, and I chuckled when I got to the bar and started perusing the selections.
“Come over here, let’s try a little,” I said, and Devin made his way across the room to the bar and leaned against it while I took down my favorite bottle of whiskey and poured us both about half a shot each in glasses.
“You’re just going to drink it straight?” he asked, making a face, and I couldn’t help but laugh at him.
“Just try it, seriously,” I insisted, sliding him the glass. He picked it up and swirled it around. He started to bring it to his lips, then glanced down at me.
“Don’t stare at me!”
I laughed and turned my head away dramatically, and a second later, I heard him gagging.
“Nope. Nope. No. Still gross.”
“Really?” I said, taking the glass from him and pouring it into mine. “Okay, so maybe you’re not a whiskey person. How about a vodka cranberry?”
“That sounds better,” he said, still making a face with the taste lingering in his mouth. “And maybe a breath mint between drinks.”
I poured us both the same drink, and he smiled up at me. “What, suddenly changing your mind about whiskey because of me?”
“No, I just don’t want to have it on my breath,” I admitted with a wink that I thought was going to make Devin faint. “Now come on, what’s all this about a rough day? Tell me.”
Devin took his drink and stirred it around a little, watching a bead of condensation drip down from the lip of the glass to his finger.
“Just a little harassment at the blackjack tables is all,” he said, sounding weary. “I know it’s just part of the job, but it really wears on me after so many times, you know?”
“Someone giving you trouble? Anything I should know about?” I asked, furrowing my brow.
“I don’t think so,” he said, waving his hand dismissively. “I mean, it’s annoying, but it’s nothing too out of the ordinary. Security got a handle on things. I think someone might have gotten a hold of some of my chips, but nothing major.”
“That doesn’t sound like anything major,” I said. “But if you’re sure…”
“Well,” he said reluctantly, “I mean, I don’t want to think it is. It’s kind of hard to judge when someone makes threats, though, because you never know when someone’s going to follow through on things and really make life hell for you or if they’re just going to back down.”
“God, I know that feeling,” I said, leaning on the bar, and just like that, a hundred thoughts about Zane came flooding back to me.
“The other day,” Devin went on, “I caught this guest counting cards, and the people who threatened me—”
“It just feels like everyone piles up on top of you,” I cut him off. Devin started to nod, but I kept talking. “This whole thing with Zane has completely blown up in my face, and now Mick is involved in it too, and I just don’t know where it’s going to wind up.”
I took a drink of my vodka, barely noticing that Devin’s face was falling.
“Oh,” he said in a monotone. “What happened?”
“I couldn’t take it anymo
re, so I talked to Zane about the fact that he completely ignored us when we all got together and decided he needed to break things off with Diego and La Torre,” I rattled off, suddenly more energized than ever. With a new, sympathetic ear to play therapist, I felt like I could spill all the bile that had been building up in me.
“And how’d that go?” Devin asked, tilting his head to the side with a vacant gaze.
“Awfully,” I sighed. “It was like he didn’t hear a word I said, all he saw was an angry employee railing at him. He’s just so completely oblivious to everything I’ve been saying and feeling, even though it’s all right in his face, and after so long it’s just…just infuriating, you know?”
“I can imagine,” he said sadly.
“He went so far as to say I’m on ‘thin ice.’ Can you believe it? And then apparently, he talked to Mick about it, and that just made everything worse. I thought things were fine between us, because out of everyone, Mick is usually the one I have to worry the least about, but before I knew it, Mick was going off the rails at me too.”
“Why?”
“Same as Zane, he just doesn’t understand me,” I said, taking a long drink of my vodka and letting it warm me up from the inside. It was making me bolder by the second. “And where does he get off, anyway? He has Eric, and Zane has Diego, and they all think they’re better than all us single guys and get to judge us and look down at us and…”
“It sounds like that really upsets you,” Devin said. His drink was almost untouched, but he paused to take a long drink from it.
“You’re damn right it does,” I said. “Mick knows how I feel about Zane, and I’m sure by now that Zane knows too. If they know all that, the least they could do is talk to me about it instead of just letting things simmer to the point that they boil over like this.”
“Uh-huh,” Devin mumbled.
“So, Mick and I got into it, and I thought it wasn’t going to end until we were throwing punches at each other. God knows I could have taken him, but after that fight he had with the drunks a few months ago, I’m not so sure.”
