His own childhood had taught him the value of family and the warmth that came from shared meals like this. His mother had been the kind of woman who’d insisted that everyone be at the dinner table at the same time night after night. It had been the one time of the day set aside for catching up on everything from schoolwork to international politics. Even when he’d been sick, she had seen to it that he came to the table. On the rare occasions when he hadn’t been able to, she had insisted that the family gather in his room so he wouldn’t feel left out of the warmth and camaraderie. Tonight he realized how much he’d missed it.
That realization also gave him his first clue about why his relationship with other women had never felt right. Most of them had had active careers of their own. Dinners had been catch-as-catch-can affairs, sometimes coming at midnight and consisting of Chinese take-out. Maybe he was more old-fashioned than he’d ever realized. He really enjoyed long, lingering conversations over a home-cooked meal. The affectionate bantering between Mrs. Mac and Casey amused him and in no time at all the two of them had drawn him into it.
“Okay, you two, uncle. It’s not fair ganging up on me,” he accused.
“Sure it is,” Casey protested. “You just have to fight back.”
He rolled his eyes. “Whatever happened to showing respect for your elders?”
Mrs. Mac waved a finger at him. “That’s the last thing I expected to hear from you, young man. You haven’t given me a shred of respect since the day you arrived.”
“Deep down I respect you,” he countered.
Chuckling, she retorted, “Maybe you could get it to the surface a little more often.”
“I’ll work on it,” he promised. “Now what about this party? How can I help?”
Casey’s eyes lit up. “We’re having a party?”
“I thought we might,” Mrs. Mac said. “Let’s get Elena in here and talk about food.”
“Can I invite my friends?” Casey asked.
“I don’t see why not. That’s the fun of a party around here, seeing all the generations together under one roof.”
“Will there be square dancing? I went to the party over at Rutgers’s last year and they had square dancing. It was fun.”
Joshua groaned as he saw his plans to hold Garrett close vanishing in a flurry of whirling and bowing. “I was kind of looking forward to an old-fashioned waltz,” he muttered.
Mrs. Mac’s eyes sparkled with mischief. “The last dance at my parties is always a waltz.”
“The last dance,” he repeated weakly. How the hell would he ever make it through an entire evening without taking Garrett into his arms? How would he be able to bear watching her with men like Red, who were bound to be more adept at the lively square dances he’d never tried?
“Seems to me there’s something to be said for anticipation,” Mrs. Mac said.
“If I anticipate any more, it’ll make me crazy,” he said just as the door leading to the kitchen burst open. He took one look at Red’s anxious expression and his heart plummeted.
“Where’s Garrett?” he said at once, his voice barely under control and only because he didn’t want to upset Mrs. Mac and Casey.
“There’s been an accident,” Red said, meeting his gaze head-on.
“Where the hell is she?” Joshua repeated, gritting his teeth together to keep from hurling accusations in the foreman’s face.
“At the hospital. She’s fine, really. It’s just a broken ankle.”
“Sit down,” Mrs. Mac ordered, casting a warning look at Joshua. She shouted for Elena. “Bring Red some coffee and a plate.” She turned back to the man who was sitting uneasily on the edge of his chair, warily watching Joshua. “Now tell us what happened.”
“Her horse stumbled. Must’ve been a hole under the snow. Won’t be able to tell for sure till the snow melts. Anyway, she was thrown. The snow cushioned her fall, but her ankle got caught in the stirrup. That’s what did it, I suspect. She’s got a few other bruises and a scratch or two, but she’ll be out in the morning, according to the doc. He put a walking cast on, but said she ought to stay off her feet as much as possible. He warned her if she didn’t, he might have to put on a hip-high cast and keep her on crutches. You should have heard her when he suggested that.” He shook his head. “Didn’t know she knew that many ways to cuss a man out.”
Casey was listening, her eyes wide. “I want to see her.”
“No need for that, honey,” Red said. “There’s no need to be driving in this fog. You call her on the phone if you want. She’ll be home first thing in the morning. I’ll get her myself.”
Joshua saw the worried look in Casey’s eyes and was certain it reflected his own. Deep in his gut he was convinced that Red was telling them everything, that if Garrett was blistering the air, she would be just fine. Even so, he knew he’d never rest until he’d seen her for himself.
“I’ll take you,” he told Casey.
“Let the woman get her rest,” Red argued, but fell silent at Joshua’s fierce expression.
“Come on, Casey. Get your coat.”
The drive to the hospital was the longest of his life, made worse by the thick blanket of fog that was every bit as treacherous as Red had suggested. Casey kept her eyes open for landmarks and was every bit as responsible for their safe arrival as he was.
“Thanks,” she said to him when they finally reached the door to Garrett’s room. “Thanks for bringing me.”
“I wanted to be here, too, sweetheart. Just remember, if your mother’s asleep, don’t wake her.”
Casey nodded and pushed the door open, then tiptoed in. Joshua stepped inside behind her. Garrett was lying on her back, her eyes closed, her hair spread across the pillow. With her cheeks almost as pale as the crisp white sheets, she looked beautiful and vulnerable. There was a faint scratch across her forehead and a bruise that shadowed the tender skin along the inside of her elbow. A white-hot rage churned inside of Joshua and he wanted to take Red and the horse responsible apart, bit by irresponsible bit.
Garrett’s left leg, with its cast up to her knee, was propped on top of a pillow. She had balled a fistful of blanket into one hand and tugged it up under her chin, like a child might hold a security blanket.
Casey went to the chair beside the bed and sat down, her shoulders finally relaxing as she reached for her mother’s free hand. Joshua pulled a second chair up beside her.
“They’ve probably given her something to make her sleep,” he told Casey.
“That’s okay. I just want to be here. Mom’s never been hurt before.” She turned a beseeching look on him and for the first time since he’d met her, he could see the little girl’s uncertainty that she usually kept well hidden. “We can stay, can’t we? I mean until morning, in case she wakes up. We’d be here to take her home, then.”
He reached over and squeezed her shoulder. “I wouldn’t want to be anyplace else, sweetheart. Of course, we’ll stay.”
With a sigh, Casey inched her chair closer to his and leaned against him. Before he knew it, she was asleep, still clinging to Garrett’s hand. He put his own hand over theirs and whispered a prayer of thanks that Garrett’s injuries hadn’t been worse.
For hours he sat without moving, his eyes on Garrett, watching the soft rise and fall of her chest, listening for any hint that she might be in pain, damning Red for letting this happen to her. Over and over he warned himself to hold his temper once she woke. She wouldn’t appreciate his accusations, nor would she take kindly to any of his protective instincts.
Joshua knew from his own experience that hovering over Garrett would only be interpreted as an attempt to break her spirit. He’d felt the same about his mother’s smothering concern more than once, even though rationally he’d known she was only worried about him. Now he began to see how difficult it was to allow someone he loved to have the freedom to take risks. The true depth of love was letting go. It had always seemed so simple to him, but it wasn’t, not when it filled his heart with this
terrible, aching fear.
Maybe loving Garrett was going to teach him a thing or two about his own past, he decided as he drifted to sleep. Maybe she wasn’t the only one with something to learn about love.
Chapter Ten
Garrett woke up feeling grumpy and sore as hell. Her mouth was dry. Her shoulders and back ached from slamming into the ground and from sleeping in the same uncomfortable position all night. Her ankle was throbbing and her ego was seriously bruised. Of all the idiotic, stupid things to happen. She was an experienced rider. Losing her seat when Bright Lightning stumbled and getting tangled in that stirrup had been silly, greenhorn mistakes. She’d be lucky if any of the men ever showed her a lick of respect again.
She sighed deeply, indulging herself in a rare bout of self-pity. When tears threatened, she blinked them back and determinedly dragged herself back to the present. Berating herself now wasn’t going to accomplish anything. The accident had happened. She ought to count her blessings that the injuries weren’t worse. If Red hadn’t chased down Bright Lightning and reined her in, they would have been. Once more, she owed him. A tear trickled down her cheek. She really hated owing anyone.
Enough, she told herself sternly. If she kept this up another five minutes, she’d wind up crying her eyes out. She’d be better off trying to figure out how the devil she was going to manage a ranch if she couldn’t even get on a horse for the next few weeks. Not that Red couldn’t be trusted to do whatever needed to be done with the cattle. He’d been doing that long before she came on the scene. She was supposed to spend her time making management decisions. It was essentially an office job. She was the one who’d chosen to make it into something more. She was the one who’d insisted on riding out to see for herself what was happening, on working the roundups and the brandings, on surveying the fence lines and watching over repairs.
When she’d first arrived, she’d been expected to handle little more than the most basic record keeping and supply orders, but filled with hope and ambition, she had wanted to learn everything. Mrs. Mac had encouraged her. Garrett suspected she had reminded Mrs. Mac of her own early initiation into ranching. She had been generous in sharing her knowledge. Over the years they had come to work well together, even more so since Garrett had become Mrs. Mac’s eyes and ears, doing all of the physically exhaustive tasks that the old woman had once relished doing herself. Garrett sighed at the prospect of giving all of that up, even for a short time.
“So, sleeping beauty, you’re finally awake.”
Startled by the low, husky voice, she turned her head and looked straight into Joshua’s anxious eyes. She could read the exhaustion on his face, see it in the slump of his shoulders. Even so, his gaze caressed her and her breath caught in her throat. Despite all of her best intentions, she was very glad to see him. For an instant she was tempted to reach out to him, to draw on his strength and the comfort she knew he would offer all too willingly. Then she saw Casey sound asleep in the chair next to him and remembered the danger he represented.
“What on earth are you doing here?” she whispered, her tone guarded.
“Casey was worried about you.” He reached for her hand and she felt his concern steal into her heart. It would be so easy, she thought, so easy to let this man into her life, to let him take care of her. He could give her everything she’d ever dreamed of.
He could also take it all away, leaving her far worse off than she was now.
“You scared the dickens out of me, too,” he admitted, not taking his eyes off of her until he had looked her over from head to toe.
“I’m okay,” she offered shakily. Afraid of the feelings that he aroused in her, she tried to pull away, but he only held tighter, then pressed his lips to her knuckles. The tenderness in his eyes, in his touch, tugged at her, made her long for all the things that they’d shared that one precious night, things that could never be again.
“You look like you’ve gone a couple of rounds with a nasty coyote,” he observed.
She winced. She must look ten times worse than that for him to say it at all. “I think he won. Don’t worry, though. I’m made of sturdy stuff. I’ll just be a little wobbly for a while. How long have you been here?”
“Since last night.”
“Last night? Why didn’t you wake me?”
“You were dead to the world. You needed the rest.”
“I’m sure I’m going to get more rest than I ever wanted over the next couple of days,” she said wryly.
“Weeks,” Joshua corrected with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“Days,” she argued stubbornly. She caught her breath as she tried to shift her leg to a more comfortable position.
“Pain?” he said at once.
“A little.”
“Which means it’s just this side of unbearable, I suppose.”
She grinned weakly. “Something like that.”
“I’ll get the nurse.”
“Don’t move,” she ordered, gesturing toward Casey, who had shifted until she was leaning against him. “I’ll ring for her. What time is it?”
“Barely six. You should try to get some more sleep.”
“What about you? That can’t be comfortable.”
“The last time you said something like that, we ended up in the same bed.” His gaze fell on the hospital bed. “It’s possible, I suppose.”
Her pulse lurched all too hopefully, but she shot an alarmed look at her daughter. “Joshua, Casey is…”
“Sound asleep. I’ll stop teasing, though. Do you need anything besides the painkiller? Something to drink, maybe?”
“A toothbrush.”
“I doubt the gift shop is open yet, but let me go check around.” He squeezed her hand again and settled Casey more comfortably. “I’ll hurry that nurse up, too.”
“Thanks.”
As soon as he left the room, Garrett saw Casey’s eyes blink open. She suspected her daughter had been conveniently playing possum.
“Hi, Mom. You feel okay?” she inquired with a yawn.
“Probably better than you do after spending the night on that chair. You should be at home in your own bed. You have school today.”
“If you hadn’t gone and done something dumb like this, I would have been home.”
As always, Garrett found herself grinning at her daughter’s fascinating mental gymnastics. “So, it’s my fault,” she concluded.
“You’ve got to admit that what you did was pretty silly. Weren’t you concentrating or something?”
“I guess not.”
“Were you thinking about Joshua?”
Since that was exactly what she’d been doing, Garrett could feel herself blushing. “Where would you get an idea like that?”
“Mom, it’s not exactly a secret that you like him.”
“Oh, really?” Oh, Lord. Why couldn’t she have had a teenager who was oblivious to everything except clothes and boys? This was not a conversation she wanted to have with her daughter.
“Mom!”
“Okay, yes. I like him. Joshua is a very nice man.” Her tone sobered and she forced herself to say something she probably should have said the minute she’d seen the bond beginning to form between Joshua and her daughter. “Honey, Joshua is only here for a short time. It wouldn’t be wise for either one of us to count on him too much.”
“He’d stay if you asked him to.”
If only that were true, she thought wistfully. “No,” she said firmly, the denial meant as much for herself as for Casey. “His life is in Florida. Please, sweetheart, don’t get too close to him. He’ll go away and I wouldn’t want you to be disappointed when that happens.”
“Joshua won’t leave us,” Casey protested, her expression turning mutinous. Garrett could tell she was shaken and for a minute she almost hated Joshua for coming into their lives and disrupting things. She’d wanted so badly to protect Casey from life’s hurts, from the anguish of being left behind. Now it seemed inevitable that they were both
in for heartache. She reached for Casey’s hand.
“He will have to go back sooner or later,” she said gently. “And that’s okay. We’re lucky to have known him as a friend.”
“Mom, he wants to be more than our friend. I know it.”
“Honey, even with the best intentions things don’t always work out.”
“But I know you love him, Mom. And he loves you.”
The certainty in Casey’s voice startled her. “Has he said that?”
“No. I mean, not exactly. Mom, I just know, okay.”
“There are different kinds of love, sweetheart. Whatever Joshua said, I’m sure he meant it at the time, but there are things that just aren’t meant to be,” she explained flatly.
“But Mom…” Casey protested.
Garrett winced against the pain. “Honey, that’s enough. I don’t want to discuss it anymore right now.”
Casey opened her mouth to argue, but Joshua came back to the room just then, a nurse with him. By the time Garrett had been given a shot for the pain and had brushed her teeth, Casey had fallen completely silent. Garrett caught the suddenly distrustful look her daughter cast at Joshua and sighed with regret. In the long run, though, it was better that Casey not count on anything permanent. She had to learn that the only person a woman could ever really count on was herself.
* * *
Joshua couldn’t imagine what had happened during the short time he’d been gone from the room. Casey’s mouth had turned down into a frown and she refused to meet his eyes. Garrett looked miserable and he suspected it had nothing to do with the pain since the shot she’d been given should have kicked in by now.
“What’s up?” he asked cautiously. “You two have an argument?”
“No,” they answered simultaneously, not looking at each other or at him.
“Then let’s cheer up a little. I ran into the doctor out there and he said he’s springing you, as long as you promise to follow orders. I told him that Casey and I would chain you down if we had to.”
“That won’t be necessary,” Garrett mumbled. “One stupid mistake is all I can handle. I’ll do whatever he thinks is best.”
Joshua and the Cowgirl Page 11
