As for Zach, he has finished writing his song for Flora. He played it to her this afternoon in the tree house, and when they came down her eyes were shining. Zach says he’s going to play it at Zoran’s next concert, but I’m not allowed to film it. And my point about all this is these people, one way or another, are all in love. And however many telephones Jake steals for me or how many roses he gives me, nothing is going to change the fact that I just don’t feel that way about him. So this afternoon I went around to Jake’s house and did something I should have done a long time ago.
“If it’s because of Talullah,” Jake said, “I promise that is completely over.”
“It’s not about Talullah,” I said. Then, because I had promised myself I was going to be truthful, I added, “I mean it’s not completely about Talullah. I just don’t want to go out with you. I never did want to go out with you in the first place. I only said yes because it felt a bit awkward to say no, which if you think about it is a completely rubbish basis for a relationship. You’re amazing because you’re the sort of brilliant person who is prepared to break into school to steal back a telephone, but please can we just be friends again?”
It all came out in a rush and I did feel a bit bad because of the criminal activity and everything, but I think he finally got the message. Afterward I went around to Dodi’s house to tell her. I could see she was secretly pleased, but she said, “You’re mad, everyone wants a boyfriend.”
“Well I am not everyone,” I said.
“I bet this time next week you’ll be back together with him.”
I didn’t have a milk shake handy, but there was a bottle of water on the table. “You wouldn’t dare,” Dodi said, but I did. I chased her all round her garden with it and only stopped when she was so wet you could see her bra through her T-shirt.
Boys can wait. Friends are way more fun.
SATURDAY, MARCH 8
People only write in diaries when things are going badly. And lately things have been good.
I had a long chat with Dodi after I’d spoken to Jake, and she admitted that she has liked him for ages, ever since she spent so much time talking to him about me. She said she would never go out with him if I minded even the tiniest bit. I told her that I would mind a lot if she didn’t. They have been together for nearly a month now, and they really are the cutest couple. Now that Jake has found a girl who adores him and who doesn’t live in a different hemisphere, he has become the model boyfriend.
Zoran and Gloria—well, let’s just say their relationship has extended to beyond riding lessons.
Ron and Hermione kill every rodent that crosses their paths at the stables. Which is nice for them, if not for the rodents.
Jas and Bill have become best friends and are writing poetry together.
Twig finally understood Maisie Carter was just using him as a free babysitting service, and is now pining for a new girl called Bianca.
Flora and Zach are more in love than ever, and Mr. Rudowski has come home.
Me? There’s nothing new. And that’s just fine. Life’s good. Boring. No surprises.
EXCEPT TODAY!!!!
TODAY WAS VERY, VERY, VERY EXCITING.
Today, for the first time, we met Mr. Rudowski.
THE FILM DIARIES OF BLUEBELL GADSBY
SCENE ELEVEN (TRANSCRIPT)
Mr. Rudowski comes for dinner
INTERIOR, EVENING, 32 CHATSWORTH SQUARE.
On the top floor, FLORA paces her bedroom, trying on and throwing down clothes, wailing things like What shall I wear? I have no clothes! OH, what am I supposed to wear? Pan to kitchen, where MOTHER moves heavily about the kitchen. For once, the kitchen is not a mess. A stew bubbles gently on the stove. A salad nestles in a bowl on the table, which is perfectly set with mostly unchipped china. A pan of boiled potatoes sits on the side, waiting to be mashed. Mother grunts as she bends down to check on the pineapple cake in the oven. “Perfect,” she murmurs. She waddles over to the sofa and falls asleep.
Pan to study where FATHER sits hunched over his laptop, typing with a look of furious concentration.
Pan to landing, where TWIG sits on the floor, practicing card tricks on JAS.
JAS
Do you really think card tricks are going to impress her?
TWIG
Everybody loves card tricks.
Front door bell rings. Flora appears on the landing, wearing a navy blue trouser suit, sensible shoes, a silk scarf around her neck, and a slash of fuchsia lipstick.
FLORA
How do I look?
JAS
(awestruck)
Really, really boring.
TWIG
Except for the lipstick. The lipstick makes you look mad.
Downstairs, Mother (now awake) has opened the door to ZORAN, GLORIA, ZACH, and MR. RUDOWSKI. Mr. Rudowski wears a hat, a natty blazer, and a spotted bow tie. Gloria is magnificent in her usual skintight black and glossy knee-high boots.
MR. RUDOWSKI
(raises Mother’s hand to his lips)
Mrs. Gadsby, thank you so much for inviting me to dinner. I have heard so much about you from Zach.
ZACH
(looks up, spots Flora on the landing)
Flora, come and meet Grandpa!
FLORA
(wailing)
I can’t, I have to get changed!
FATHER
(bursts out of study)
I finished my book! I finished my book!
The fire alarm goes off. Black smoke begins to waft up from the kitchen.
MOTHER
I forgot the cake!
ZORAN
(to Mr. Rudowski)
I’m afraid they’re often like this.
Mother starts to waddle toward the kitchen but suddenly stops with a startled squeak. All turn to look at her. She stands in a state of shock, looking down at her bump.
MOTHER
I think my water has broken!
FATHER
Call the midwife! Put the kettle on! Where are my car keys?
He runs upstairs, shouting something about Mother’s hospital bag. Mother watches him go and smiles. Then, as her first contraction starts, she winces. The contraction passes. She smiles again.
MOTHER
Turn the camera off, Blue.
Following Flora Page 16
