“Izzy. My name is Izzy. That’s what people call me.”
“Izzy. Don’t go home and cry over this nigga; that’s all I ask of you. He ain’t worth it.”
“Oh.” I laughed. “And let me guess, you are?”
“No, no man is worth it, but I wouldn’t make you cry.” He touched my hand, and when he started to rub the back of it with his thumb, I snapped from the trance I was in and snatched my hand.
“Goodnight, and just do what I asked, please.”
“Goodnight, Isabella.”
I shook my head and rolled my eyes as I continued to my car.
Tonight was a disaster. And I guess Nichole could still tell when a dog had fleas, even when she was sleeping with one herself.
9
Will
I looked down to see my phone ringing, so I picked it up, tapping the green button. It was Katie, the wannabe Black girl I’d filmed for, and since she paid me handsomely, I never ignored her.
“Yes, Katie?” I answered lowly.
“Why are you whispering?”
“Because I’m kind of busy. What did you need?” I looked around at the other people in the waiting area that I was seated in.
“I need you to come film something for my girls and me. I have a whole idea planned, and I just need you to make it happen.”
“You could’ve just emailed me that.”
“I know, but I wanted to discuss the details with you, and it’s easier to do that if we speak over the phone.”
“I have to go do something, so I can’t right now. Let me hit you back later or just send the email.”
“Alright, fine.”
I quickly hung up just as I spotted the therapist I was here to see, come out of his office and wave me in. Locking my iPhone, I pocketed it, then made my way over.
Once we were inside and his door was closed, he smiled. “Dr. Cary Overt. You can call me Cary, however.”
I shook his hand.
“Willem.”
“Yes, I know. Have a seat, Mr. Dade.”
“Will is cool.” I sat down on the nice couch, eyeing his office as I rubbed my hands up and down my jeans. “So you do this shit all day?”
“What shit?” He laughed, grabbing a notepad, a pen, and taking a seat. I couldn’t believe I was seeing a damn therapist. This was against the Black person code. But the fact that this nigga was Black himself made me feel a little better.
“Talking to people and trying to figure out what’s wrong with them. This has to be exhausting.”
“Not exhausting at all. The human mind is very interesting, Will.” He hit his pen against the pad in order to expose the writing tip. “Now I got the gist of why you’re here, but why don’t you give me a little bit more detail. All I know is that you’re having intimacy issues with women, and you believe it to be a mental and not a physical problem.”
“Right. I mean, I can get it up, don’t get the wrong impression.” I looked him in the eyes. I ain’t want his ass thinking I was some impotent fuck. “It’s just a certain type of woman that has to be in my presence.”
“What type is that?”
“Women who work.”
Dr. Cary squinted his eyes and then asked, “Work as in, a business minded type of woman, or work as in a streetwalker.”
“The latter.”
“So what you’re saying is, if a regular woman is nearby and ready to go, nothing happens below the waist.”
“Correct.”
“Okay, yes, it surely sounds like a mental incapacity. And you’re only interested in women sexually, right?”
“Yeah, the fuck? I don’t do that other shit.”
“All the streetwalkers that you’ve slept with, because I’m assuming you have slept with some, have been cis women?”
“No, not no fucking cis women, regular women.”
He laughed and then pushed his glasses up.
“My apologies. Cis women are women who were naturally born with female genitalia.” He started writing. “Okay, so it isn’t your sexuality. What is it that you like about women who work?”
“I’m not sure. It just turns me on knowing they work and that they’re out there like that.”
“What type of women have you tried to sleep with and got no response with your penis?”
“Well, I have this one woman, and I like her a lot. I wanna be with her, but we can’t have sex naturally unless we role play and she acts like a hooker. If she’s normal, I can’t do it naturally.”
“Naturally. Why do you keep saying that? What other way is there? Pills?”
“No, I use my mouth and fingers.” I couldn’t bring myself to mention the damn dildo.
“I see.” He nodded. “Tell me what you think of her. What type of woman is she in your eyes?”
“She’s beautiful, for one; deep chocolate skin, long curly hair, and a shapely frame. She’s talented, a really great dancer, smart, wholesome, and just perfect.”
“Sounds like a woman we all want to marry.” He smiled, so I chuckled, nodding.
“Exactly.”
“And that seems to be the problem, Will.”
“What? What seems to be the problem?” I frowned, feeling like I’d missed something.
“The way you see her is the problem. You see her as a wife, a mother, an angel, and not something you can do sexual things with, unless she portrays herself in such a way. I didn’t hear you call her sexy once or use words like seductive, sultry, things that allude to someone being sexually attractive.”
“Nah, no, that ain’t true, because we’ve done shit.”
“Yes, but with your mouth and your fingers. You’re not able to achieve a natural erection when she’s herself; you just said that.”
I stared at the floor, not knowing what the fuck to make of what this nigga was telling me.
“But I like her. I think she’s beautiful, and sexy as fuck. You’re making it sound like I’m not attracted to her.”
“No, you are attracted to her, but you’re not sexually attracted to the type of woman you perceive her to be. As men, we like to view our wives and girlfriends as classy women that can turn that off once we get into the bedroom. But because you’ve been dealing with women who are workers, it’s hard for you to view normal women as sexual.”
“What the fuck.”
“Just the way some men are only turned on by women who come off as innocent or ignorant to sex, and feel turned off by women who are sexually assertive or as they say, freaks.”
“Aight, so how do I fix this? I have to fix this shit so she and I can be together. She’s trying to fuck with some new nigga, and I need to dead that by fixing me.”
“It’s not an overnight thing, Will, but I want to give you an assignment.” He grabbed a Post-It stack off of his desk. “Try coming onto a woman who you know nothing about outside of her name and maybe her occupation. Tell me if you get an erection.”
A couple days later…
I shut down my computer and began packing my shit up because I wanted to get home and sleep well before tomorrow. Belly had some early morning shit to handle, and I had to be right there, capturing it all. I’d been doing the most to stay on track ever since I fucked up way back when. He seemed to be over the shit, but I wasn’t.
I heard the buzzer to my studio door, so I dropped my bag and peeked around the corner to see who it was. I shook my head at Katie smiling widely and dancing a little bit.
“What you doing here?” I opened the door, and her ass came right in.
“I was just over here, and since my day is over, I decided to come by. You don’t mind, right?” She cocked her head, making her wavy, blonde hair bounce. I swear this girl was half black.
“Well I was on my way out.” I locked the door.
“It’s only 8 p.m., grandpa. You should be just getting started. You got some alcohol?” She opened the fridge and then pulled out the Hennessy.
Laughing, I said, “Katie, I’m tired as fuck. I got shit to do earl
y in the morning on top of that.”
“Come on.” She started pouring the Hennessy into the cups. It was still slightly dark in here, but she had the fridge open, so it gave us some light.
Making my way over to the counter, I said, “Just one, then you gotta go so I can head home.”
“Fine, little baby.” She handed me a cup and then took hers down like a professional. “Drink it!”
“Aight, aight.”
As soon as I finished, she pressed her body into mine and said, “See, it wasn’t that bad, huh?” Her lips were nice as hell, and so were her pool blue eyes.
“Nah, it wasn’t.”
Next thing I knew, our mouths were pressed together, and I was pushing down the tights she had on. Tossing them along with her panties, I put her up on the counter, unbuckled my jeans, and pulled a condom from my wallet. I didn’t even realize I was hard until I was inside of her, pumping away. I guess that therapist knew a little something.
“Oh fuck,” Katie called out as I hammered her pussy, gripping the paper towel rack on the wall behind her.
“Shit,” I groaned. When she came all over my dick, I filled the condom up, jerking against her body.
Immediately, I pulled out, backing away from her until I hit the back of the couch.
“You okay?” She breathed heavily.
“Yeah, I umm…” I wiped down my face before removing the condom. “I just have to go.”
“Right.” She just stared at me before hopping down. I watched as she ripped off a paper towel, wet it, and then wiped between her legs. She grabbed her tights and panties then put them on before trashing the paper towel. “So I will see you next week for the shoot?”
“Yeah. Be safe.”
When she left, I just stood there, pondering. Now if only I could do that shit with Priscilla.
Alivia
I woke up to someone beating on the door to my hotel room. It took me a minute to even get up out of this fabulous bed to go see who it was because I was still half dead.
I’d planned to sleep in, because today was an off day in between shows, but clearly, someone didn’t want to let me indulge in such a luxury.
“Okay, got damnit!” I shouted when they beat on the door again.
“Troy, really?” I pulled the door open to see Yono standing there with a bouquet of red roses. It was large, and they were beautiful.
“Good morning, gorgeous.” He smiled down into my face, reaching the flowers out to me.
“Thanks.”
I didn’t say he could come in, but he did, and a man followed him, pushing a cart of food. Another man appeared, holding about seven shopping bags.
“Put everything in the living area,” Yono directed them.
“Troy, no. I want to go back to bed.”
“You can after we have breakfast. But only for a little bit because I want us to spend the day together.” He neared me, slipping his hands around my body.
“I already told you it won’t be that type of party.”
“You also told me that an ex would have a chance to be the man you said would be worthy of you.”
“Fine. But I don’t know about the whole day together; maybe just half a day, okay?”
“I’ll take whatever I can get.”
I set the flowers on the table near the TV, and then Yono and I went into the living room area to eat breakfast together. The conversation wasn’t awkward, so I was a bit more at ease at the thought of spending the day with him.
When we finished, I revealed what was in the shopping bags, and couldn’t believe how much money this nigga had spent on me. However, I was not going to complain. And to piss Manny off, I took a picture of all the gifts, posting them right to my story. He would know exactly where they came from, and that was exactly what I wanted.
“Okay, I’m going to shower. I will meet you in the lobby in a couple hours.” I patted Yono’s shoulder.
“I can come with you to the shower.”
“Goodbye, Troy.”
I led him out of my suite and then proceeded to get ready. Once I was clean and had brushed, flossed, and rinsed with mouthwash, I put on lotion then my clothes. I did my makeup and hair, then complemented my face with some gold hoops. I decided to rock the new purse from Prada and the boots as well that Yono had just bought me. Slipping on the Rolex he’d gifted, I was ready to go.
I texted Yono to let him know I was coming down, and by the time I’d made it to the lobby, he was already there, signing autographs and taking pictures with some thirsty girls.
“I don’t want to interrupt you.” I smirked when he finally broke away from the mob.
“I don’t mind the interruption at all. The car for us is out back. You look so sexy.” He tried to hold my hand, but I moved it.
“Stop.” I smiled. I could already feel eyes on us as well as hear people taking pictures. They didn’t even have the decency to silence their phones beforehand.
Yono helped me into the back of an all-black Escalade, and then opened a bottle of champagne as the car started to drive through the Miami streets. It was so nice outside, and the champagne seemed to only add to the city’s beauty.
We made it to a port, and when Yono saw my jaw on the floor, he laughed, before getting out of the car and helping me do the same.
“You don’t get seasick or nothing, do you?”
“No, I mean, I don’t think so. I’ve never been on a boat before. What are we even about to do?” I chuckled.
“Come see.”
“I’ll be back in a few hours, boss,” the driver let Yono know, who nodded in response.
We walked down the port until we reached a big, beautiful white boat. A man with a button up shirt and khaki shorts approached where the stairs were, smiling very hard.
“Welcome, Mr. Carter, and who is this lovely lady?”
“This is Alivia, my soon to be girlfriend and maybe wife.”
The last part had me astonished, so I looked over at Yono to see if he was joking, but he didn’t appear to be.
“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Alivia. I’m Kip. Mr. Carter here must really like you if he’s bringing you on his boat.”
“He’s never brought a woman on here before?” I stepped on, taking in the beautiful attributes of the boat.
“Nope, you’d be the first.”
I couldn’t lie, I was feeling very special. And on top of that, Yono’s little serenades at his concerts were getting to me. He was a totally different man than when I initially dated him, and I was liking this version, no matter how hard I tried to tell myself I didn’t. I guess it was true that when a man really wanted you, he made the necessary changes.
I loved Manny, but I just didn’t think he and I would ever be able to become one. Our mindsets were too different. Things that he felt were no big deal, I felt the opposite, and vice versa. I felt like we’d be one of those couples who got married, had a good six months, and then divorced. I didn’t want that.
No, I wasn’t the woman my parents wanted me to be and didn’t believe I shouldn’t live life until I was a married woman, but I did have some marriage values. Whomever I met at the end of that aisle, I wanted to be with forever, and I just knew Manny and I wouldn’t last.
“I like the sound of that,” I finally replied to Kip.
“I bet. Well you two enjoy the boat, and I will be in my own little area, driving you two around. And don’t worry, I’ve only had one case of beer this morning.”
“What?” I frowned.
“He’s kidding, Alivia. Come on.”
Yono led me downstairs and into the bedroom. It was so cute and cozy but luxe as well.
“What are we doing down here?”
“Chill. I thought we should change into our bathing suits.”
“I didn’t bring one.”
“I got you one.” He lifted up a two-piece from Fendi.
I grabbed onto it, but he didn’t let it go, using it to pull me into him. Slowly, he moved his face toward mine unti
l our lips were against one another’s. I couldn’t hold back any longer, so I allowed his tongue into my mouth as we kissed hungrily and passionately. After what seemed like an eternity, we pulled away, and I went to change into my new bathing suit.
“It fits. Good job on the sizing.”
“I can eyeball shit like that.”
“I bet you can.”
We went up to the top, and for a moment, just relaxed, watching the beautiful water and all the scenery that Kip drove past. And it didn’t feel wrong being cuddled up in Yono’s arms either. He took a picture of my legs on top of his to post to his story, and since he had his camera open, I asked him to take some of me on this plush boat and in this bomb ass bathing suit.
“So that stripper, it wasn’t your baby?”
“She miscarried. How convenient?” He shook his head. “She was never pregnant I don’t think, but if it was mine, I would’ve stepped up.”
“I know.” I sat back down but facing him. This was how a man was supposed to act when faced with fatherhood.
“They don’ already captured my story to post on them damn gossip pages.” Yono laughed, showing me one of them already had it up.
“I could’ve told you that would happen.”
After he sent me the pictures he’d taken of me, I put them up on my Instagram. Not even two minutes had passed before people were in my comments saying how they knew I was with Yono. I didn’t really care.
We chilled for a little longer, then Kip pulled over so we could ride the jet skis. I was so scared, too scared, so Yono and I rode together for the first couple of times. That calmed me down a bit, so I was able to go once on my own. By the time we finished, the sun was slowly going down, so while Kip drove us back, we showered and changed. Of course, Yono had bought me a dress, new purse, and some shoes from Saint Laurent to wear.
“Don’t forget these.” He approached me from behind in the mirror and opened a Chanel box containing some diamond earrings.
“Troy. These are about to blind me.”
“That’s how they’re supposed to be.” He watched me put them on then hugged me from behind.
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