She’d slurped the rest of the broth down as he sneered at her and said, “You even eat like a pig. Mark my words, he’ll have you squealing like one tonight too.” With that, he had left and she sat on the floor and cried.
She was so scared. She knew the first wasn’t pleasant to be sure, but with a man like him? She was sure she wouldn’t survive the night.
She waited out the rest of the afternoon by watching the clouds roll in. Scotland’s weather always fascinated her. There could be three seasons all but in a day and sure enough, the black and gray clouds boiled in the sky with an ominous mist. Supper had been the same ordeal as lunch, but this time the soldier said nothing. She found she hadn’t the stomach for the contents of the bowl anyway when he spit in it before handing it to her.
He slapped her when she knocked it aside with her hand, and he shook her hard by the shoulders screaming and spitting in her face. He left after he knocked her back against the bed and she lay there and cried for the better part of an hour. It was only when the door opened one more time and a torch was shoved into the bracket on the wall and the door slammed shut that she thought about moving. She stood up and walked over to it, examining the flame which seemed to have a hypnotic effect on her.
She jumped when she heard the first clap of thunder and she turned to see the Heavens open up. It was as if they were crying for her plight and the rain lashed against the window, dripping down onto the floor. She walked over to the window, getting sprayed in the face as she went, and she caught sight of a glimmer in the puddle on the floor. She knelt and looked at her dress which was covered in the kilt and pinned at the shoulder.
She fingered the pin and felt the words begin to rise up in her being and she hastened to unfasten the pin. She knelt in the middle of the floor and placed it in the center. She picked up the torch from the wall and went about the room, gathering candles that were but stubs of the tapers they had once been. She placed them in a circle around her and knelt in the center over the pin and began to chant. When she was done chanting, she hid the pin just as the door was slammed open. The words filled her mind, body and soul.
“Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh, through spans of time, I cannot rest. Seek thee my kin, and pardon my sin, that I may reincarnate, and new life begin. And with this pin I shall be returned to my love, cast through the ages, by touch of mine blood, and light from sun up above.”
AUDRINA WOKE with a start and realized her hand was bleeding. She sat up in bed in the early morning light and discovered she was holding the very pin that she had been dreaming about and it had pricked the pad of her thumb. She switched it to her other palm and sucked absentmindedly at her bleeding thumb until the bleeding was staunched. Her brow furrowed as she concentrated hard on remembering the dream from last night. It had been the same woman she had dreamt about in her home in San Francisco, but there had been more detail. She had lived and endured with the woman through the day preceding the night that she had placed the curse on this very pin.
Audrina knew the pin was important somehow. She had frantically searched her things just last night trying to find it because she was sure it was the key to the answers she had been looking for. She remembered because she had cried herself to sleep not being able to remember where she had put it. She assumed it had been lost to the bog when she jumped in and saved little Donal, but here it was, clutched in the palm of her hand.
Audrina examined it more closely and rubbed her thumb over the waves of the silver river. When her thumb passed over the carnelian gem that represented the sun, she was sure she brushed dried mud from the gem’s surface. She couldn’t remember when it had fallen from her pocket, but it must have fallen in the bog if there was mud on it. As her thumb passed over the gem, Audrina had a flash go through her mind of the woman’s words.
“Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh, through spans of time, I cannot rest. Seek thee my kin, and pardon my sin, that I may reincarnate, and new life begin. And with this pin I shall be returned to my love, cast through the ages, by touch of mine blood, and light from sun up above.”
THE PROMISE that the chant meant was that she, the woman and the kilt pin would someday return to her love. “Well,” Audrina thought, “One thing’s for certain, this kilt pin certainly returned from nowhere. Is it possible that Maeve too, has reincarnated from another time and place to be returned to her love?”
CHAPTER 13
Audrina sat on the bed holding the pin and rocking back and forth. Her idea was just too preposterous. Reincarnation doesn’t exist and that’s that. There was no way that the chant was real. It was all just a sad, scary nightmare and it was her brain’s way of coping with the outlandishness of everything that had happened. Audrina could accept that she had traveled back in time. She was here, living it. She assumed it had something to do with science and somewhere, someone had invented the process to time travel and she had been the innocent bystander to be sucked up into the mechanics and theories of it all and, BAM! Here she was. What Audrina couldn’t come to grips with was the idea of magic and reincarnation and all that willy nilly stuff. It didn’t exist. And the more Audrina thought about it, the worse her headache got.
She sat on the bed rocking back and forth, trying to sort out in her mind what was real and what wasn’t. She didn’t hear the door open and shut, and when someone cleared there throat, she jumped letting out a scream.
“Och, lass, I’m sorry. I didnae mean tae scare ye,” Colin said gently.
“Colin. What…what are you doing here?” she asked.
“I came tae check on ye,” he admitted a bit sheepishly.
“Why?” she blurted before she could stop herself.
“Because, lass, it doesnae matter what ye call yerself, yer still me wife and I’m worried about ye. Ye cried out in yer sleep last night and ye was cryin’ I thought ye’d shed the last drop o’tears fro yer eyes a’fore ye went tae sleep, but ye still cried aft’ as well,” he stated simply.
Audrina was touched by his simple admission. She hadn’t had anyone be concerned about her well-being since her grandfather had been alive. Colin must have been standing outside her door the entire night, she realized. He had been watching over her the whole night. She felt tears prick the backs of her eyes and she blinked rapidly so she wouldn’t cry, but not before Colin hadn’t noticed.
“Och, lass. Doonae cry. I’ll not let anyone harm ye again.” He took a step toward her, but she flinched on the bed as he drew near. The hand he held out as if he was going to touch her, dropped to his side and he looked desperately at her. “I mean it, lass. You’ll ne’er be harmed by my hand or any other I command. E’ry man and woman at Claran Castle is here tae see to yer welfare. You’ll be looked after. I promise ye.”
“You’re lord of the castle, right?” Audrina seized upon the opportunity to change the subject.
“Aye. My uncle passed last year and as he had no kin save fer me and Alisdair. As the eldest, I took the title Laird and have been lookin’ after the MacClaran kinfolk e’er since.” He walked to the window and looked out over the courtyard which was cast in an ethereal glow from the pale morning light. Audrina studied his profile and watched as the emotions passed across his face as he got caught up in the memory of times past.
“Tell me, about them. Your kin I mean. Tell me about your uncle and your childhood,” she whispered softly.
Colin blinked at her in surprise. “Ye want me tae talk about us, lass?” he asked.
She nodded, not elaborating further and denying that she had no memories of them as children. But he thought it over for a moment and then turned back to the window.
“Aye, I remember the day ye rode through those gates sitting astride the great stallion Beastie. We called him McFarland, because we’d long since been warring with the Farland clan. We’ve since set aside our differences in lieu of a common enemy, the English, but the Farland clan chieftain was said tae be a great fearsome man. So, we named the stallion aft’ the man himself. Only Uncle Dou
gal was able tae ride the creature. Some said t’was because he’d bested the Farland himself in a one on one duel, but there was naught amongst the soldiers who could sit astride the beast, but more than a moment’s passing. But there ye were. All bundled up in linens and wrapped in the MacClaran tartan against the cold, sittin’ in front of Uncle Dougal. I remember, I came runnin’ down the steps o’the keep, brandishing a wee sword at ye and screamin’ “Och, ye’ll no’ be infiltrating me castle, ye wee scampie!”
Uncle Dougal and the other men laughed and ruffled my hair as they passed. They left ye standin’ there in the courtyard, lookin’ scared and lonely. Mother was still upstairs tendin’ to Alisdair and you and I had a standoff we did. You untangled yerself from the tartan and threw it upon the ground in a fit like and ye marched yer sweet-self up tae me and put yer hands on yer hips and said, ‘Aye, and who’s goin’ tae stop me? The likes of you?’
“Well, I didnae ken what tae do w’it such a brash and brazen wee lass and so I followed ye up the steps. Just a’fore we marched into the great hall, I realized ye’d left yer tartan lyin’ on the ground and I ran back down and fetched it fer ye. Ye waited fer me at the top o’the steps and just as I was aboot tae crest them, I tripped on the tartan and went sprawlin’ in a heap at yer feet. O’ course, we was jest kids, nigh’ goin’ on six or seven I ken it. I cut my chin open and t’was bleedin’ somethin’ fierce. Ye took one look at me as I lay there cryin’ and the sweetest expression came upon yer wee face and ye knelt beside me and began yer fussin’. Ye cooed o’er me until Mam found us sittin’ on the steps together, chattin’ away and talkin’ about all the new places I was goin’ tae take ye tae explore. Ye’d pressed the hem of yer wee apron tae me bleedin’ chin and when Mam found us, ye asked for the poultices and bandages because ye were goin’ tae fix me up jest right. We became thick as thieves, we did. Chasin’ after one another through the years and growin’ up together. T’wasn’t until last year I finally convinced ye tae marry me. Everyone knew t’was only a matter of time, but yer a stubborn lass, ye ken?” he finished his story of how they’d met.
Audrina rose from the bed and walked over to the window and peered down at the courtyard with him. She could just picture a young boy and girl chasing after each other and raising all kinds of hell together that caused a ruckus. She was certain if Maeve was as determined to get back to her love as the dream and the chant suggested, then the two of them must have been deeply in love.
Audrina looked at the steps of the keep and smiled. His story was heartwarming. Maeve, a little girl with no family and no friends standing up to the bold Colin, would have been a sight to see. She was glad Maeve had been a healer like herself. It gave her a strange sense of kinship to the woman and she felt so deeply for the sorrow Colin must have been feeling at losing her. So much so that he was willing to believe that she, a stranger, was that very same woman. It was confusing and hurt her head to think about it, but she shook her head and walked away from the window. It would be all too easy to forget reality and sink willingly into the embrace of this family’s welcome arms. But Audrina was still too confused and too shocked to be able to let go of all of the events that had transpired over the last forty-eight hours.
She paced the small room, stopping once more to look at the likeness on the bedside table. The woman staring back at her seemed so vivid in contrast to the others.
“Do ye no’ remember it all, Maeve?” Colin asked from behind her.
She turned to stare at him.
“Do ye no’ remember the way we’d laugh and jest w’it one another. We shared our hopes and dreams and we told each other everything. Have ye no memory at all, lass? I loved ye and ye loved me from the very day ye set foot on Claran grounds. Right in that courtyard. We’d chase one another through the fen. I taught ye tae ride and ye taught me tae heal scraped knees and hornet stings. Can ye at least try tae remember? Och, please, lass?” Colin beseeched her.
Audrina screwed up her face in concentration and then her hand flew to her forehead as she caught a flash of a little girl’s laughter as a boy chased her through a field shouting, ‘I’m gonnae get ye, Maeve! Ye’re mine, ye hear? Nary any o’the other laddies can have ye, ye belong tae me!’ The little girl’s red hair flounced behind her as she ran away giggling. ‘Ye cannae catch me, Colin MacClaran!’ she shouted back at him.
Audrina felt her head swirl and her eyes went unfocused in a dizzying spell. “I…Colin…I don’t remember,” she finally said as she sat down on the edge of the bed.
Colin looked slightly crestfallen, but nodded his head. “Tis alright, lass, I ken t’will take time.” He then walked to the door and Audrina looked down at the small parcel he had placed on the bed when he had walked in.
“What’s this?” she asked.
“Tis a gift, lass. T’was supposed tae be a wedding present,” he said as he turned to the door. “Mayhap ye’ll wear it down tae breakfast?” he asked hopefully before he turned to the door and walked out.
Audrina carefully unwrapped the package and found a carefully folded tartan in the MacClaran colors. It was a beautifully woven piece of fabric and it looked as if it had recently been dyed because the colors were pristine and had never been washed. Audrina held the fabric up in the morning light and admired the colors she had seen countless times when she had been exploring her roots with her grandfather.
She rose from the bed and wrapped the plaid around her, taking the pin from the pocket of her simple dress, and fastening the fabric in place with the pin. It somehow felt right that she had placed it there, and that feeling was one Audrina desperately craved because her life had been turned upside down. In all the confusion and chaos, a small feeling of right was most welcomed by her. She walked to the door and made her way downstairs to the great hall. The entire way down, as she passed wooden doors and stone walls, she began to wonder as she thought about the flash of the little girl and the little boy if those were her memories. She wondered what was real and what was not.
CHAPTER 14
Audrina made her way down to the great hall, and she admired the simplicity of the castle. It wasn’t like any castle she had imagined. The decorations were simple enough, and practical. She noted that tapestries seemed to be the theme along the walls as she walked. She had learned from her grandfather that they were used to keep the cold at bay. Stone walls offered very little insulation and the draft in the winter months would cause many Scotsman to take ill and in many cases, die from their sickness.
Audrina knew this to have some merit as she was a practitioner in medicine, but she marveled at the intricate designs woven into the tapestries as she passed. She wondered at how much more character was detailed into the hangings than modern wall paper or paint. It seemed to her that people of the modern world could change the appearance of their walls if they so choose, because it was a commodity and so the necessity of beauty and design was irrelevant. Here, however, Audrina discovered the everlasting beauty came with the intricacies of the designs. They were so minute and finite, that one could spend days admiring them and be lost in discovering all the little secrets woven into the fabric.
Audrina found herself lost in such a transfixed way, until someone cleared their throat behind her. She jumped and turned on her heel at the sound and found herself face to face with Alisdair, Colin’s younger brother.
“Apologies, mi’lady,” he said quietly. “I didnae mean tae frighten ye.”
Audrina gave him a small smile. “It’s alright,” she said.
“I ken ye like the look of the weave?” he asked, gesturing to the tapestry.
“Yes, it’s very pretty,” she responded. They fell into an awkward silence, staring at one another.
“Well, I suppose we could have one brought tae yer room for ye tae look at all ye like, Maeve,” he said to her.
Audrina felt her spirit fall. She was just starting to feel some semblance of normalcy, even in the small task of admiring what would have been to her, a piece of ancient a
rtwork in modern times. She realized Alisdair meant to please Maeve and that he was still treating her fragile, like she might break.
“That would be nice,” she responded.
“I don’t suppose, ye’ve lost yer way and need an escort down tae breakfast do ye?” he asked hopefully.
“That would be lovely thank you,” she responded again. She figured he probably wasn’t going to leave her in peace until she was safely seen between rooms, and not left to wander about the castle on her own.
She walked beside him until they reached the stairs, and then Alisdair took the lead, holding a torch high so she could see as she descended into the great hall.
When she got to the landing, she looked around the room which was packed with people. Everyone looked in her direction as she began walking beside Alisdair again, toward the head table. A sea of faces looked back at her and they all began whispering to one another and pointing to her. Audrina walked closer to Alisdair as they approached the table and she was grateful to see an empty seat beside Mary.
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