Mary rose and went to her, trying to remove her hands from her head. “Och, I ken ye’ve been through a terrible ordeal now, Maeve, but lass, as I said, I believe ye. Ye’ve fashed a tale to cope w’it the horrors, but lass, tis all true.”
“No!” Audrina shouted at her. “Get away from me! You’re lying!” she cried. Great racking sobs took over her body as she tried to bury the images from her mind.
She began to rip and claw at the linens on the bed, in a fit of hysterics. “This isn’t real! It can’t be real! I’m dreaming, and I need to wake up!” she screamed.
Mary gasped as she clawed the kilt pin from her tartan and let the fine material fall to the floor. She ran to the window and threw the pin out the window into the courtyard.
“Och lass, I’m sorry. I’m verra sorry. I didnae mean tae upset ye so!” Mary cried. “Please forgive me, lass, I didnae mean tae cause ye more pain,” she begged.
Audrina threw herself onto the bed and cried uncontrollably. When Mary went to her to put her arms around her, she jerked away and stood in the corner, sobbing hysterically.
A few moments later they both heard the unmistakable sound of boots running through the hallway, and Audrina cried even harder. The sound of the boots reminded her of the sound of the boots on the stone steps from her nightmare. They drew closer and closer and she became more hysterical. Mary continued to plead with her to calm down, but it was to no avail.
The door to the chamber was thrown open and Colin strode in, his sword in his hand.
“What’s happened?” he demanded. “Ha’e ye been attacked?”
The sight of the sword upset Audrina more. It was too real for her. The castle and the gowns and the swords. But in a way, it was all too much. She couldn’t get her emotions under control and she didn’t hear as Mary briefly explained to Colin what had happened, or when the woman had slipped from the chamber.
Colin strode over to Audrina who shrieked and tried to pull away, until he put the sword back in the scabbard and gathered her in his arms. She struggled against him for a time, but he walked backwards until his knees bumped the bed and then he sank down onto it and dragged her down with him. She cried into his chest for a time, but with every inhale of his masculine scent, her emotions and nerves calmed a little bit more, and then a little bit more.
Audrina began to hiccup as she lay in Colin’s arms. He whispered to her and kissed the top of her head. He sang songs to her in a tongue and language she didn’t recognize. She knew it must be Gaelic, she had heard her grandfather turn a phrase or two when he was emotional or excited about something.
Her hiccups turn to soft sighs as she lay in his arms, and she was fairly certain she dozed off a time or two, as she had been so restless the night before.
Colin seemed to take it all in stride and whatever he had been doing, was long forgotten because he made no indication that he wanted to be anywhere else. He continued to hold her and speak to her, even when she dozed a little. She’d wake with a start and he could feel her heart flutter in remembrance as realization came crashing down around her again and he wanted to be right there to reassure her it was all going to be alright.
Audrina turned in his arms and looked at the ceiling frowning.
“What is it, lass?” he asked softly.
“There are no pictures,” she said just as softly.
Her voice was, and she sounded nasally from all the crying, but he didn’t seem to mind. He tucked a strand of wayward red hair back behind her ear.
“What do ye mean?” he asked.
She decided to tell him. They all thought she was mentally fragile anyway, and she needed an outlet.
“In my room, in San Francisco,” she began.
“Ye mean the place in yer head ye escaped?” He looked down at her.
“Will you do something for me, Colin?” she asked looking up into his blue eyes.
“Aye, anything, lass,” he murmured.
“Can you please just pretend?”
“Pretend?”
“Yes, just make believe. You know, pretend like it’s real, because it’s very real to me and I know your mother has been extremely kind to me since I’ve arrive, everyone has really; it’s just that, no one has truly believed me. I need someone to pretend, like it’s all real.”
Colin sighed, and she could see him clearly thinking over if he should indulge her or not.
“Alright, lass, I’ll pretend. Tell me about your San Francisco.” The words sounded foreign on his lips, but he gave her a soft kiss on the forehead, like somehow his kiss could heal her mentally if she was permitted to get it all out.
“Well, back in my room in San Francisco, I had pictures up on the ceiling. They were pictures that my grandfather cut out for me. Most of them were faraway places, here in Scotland you see. There was Cotswold Castle and Claran Castle and the Isle of Skye. There was a picture of a thistle and some highland cows, or as you say, coos. And the thing about these pictures is, they always helped me sleep. I used to have nightmares after my mom passed away. So, when my grandfather took me in, he placed them on the ceiling, so I could look at them before I went to sleep and dream about faraway places. We would explore our ancestry together, because we are direct descendants of your Maeve’s sister, Catriona. She had a daughter who was taken away by Catriona’s husband’s family and I know that Maeve was brought here to you. I don’t know what happened to their other sister, Moira, but I know a plague came over the Isle of Skye and wiped out most of the population. Anyway, Grandfather and I would talk for hours and hours about the Catriona James’ descendants. He never included the story of you and Maeve, maybe he thought it was too sad. But the pictures made me yearn for places that I had never been to. There’s a word for it, several in fact, wanderlust or fernweh. I’ve always yearned to come to Scotland and explore the pictures. But what I find most disturbing is, even though I am in the very castle of one of my pictures, I can’t sleep because I stare at the ceiling and, all I see are stones.” She fell silent and Colin didn’t say a word for a long moment.
After a minute he said, “Did ye e’er think, lass, that ye’ve dreamed up these pictures just so ye could fall asleep?”
He wasn’t judging her, he was asking a simple honest question, but it confused her. She’d had so much trouble discerning reality from what a dream was lately, his question was legitimate and fair.
“I don’t know what I dream about anymore,” she admitted truthfully.
“Well, what if ye painted me a picture w’it yer words about yer, San Francisco?” he asked her.
She turned her head up to him to study his face. He was asking a sincere question and she didn’t feel like he was only entertaining her fanciful imaginations, so she told him. She told him about the Golden Gate Bridge and the cable cars. She told him of the hilly streets and looking out onto the bay. She told him about the redwood trees that she would go explore when she was a child and she told him of her fondest memories of her grandfather. When he sensed a touch of sadness in her voice about her grandfather, he asked, “What was his name?”
“Argus,” she answered.
“That was the name ye gave us when ye were havin’ us believe ye were a wee laddie,” he commented.
“Yes. It was. He was very proud of the fact that he is a James from the clan James in Scotland. It meant a lot to him.”
“Aye, I ken that. We Scots are a proud people.”
“Yes, I ken that too.” She tried his words out on her tongue.
It seemed to please him because Colin let out a chuffed breath and she continued her story. She came to the harder parts about working all the time and the death and trauma she saw at the hospital. He squeezed her a little tighter as she told him about losing Donald Nightingale. It hit close to home for him as well.
When she was finished telling him about her story, he remained quiet for a moment, and then he said, “If ye fancy bein’ a healer tae the people, the tower and the stores are yers. It might take a while fer the peop
le tae come tae ye, they think ye’ve had a bad spell and yer no’ quite right in the head, but once they see ye heal a few people up a bit, they’ll be flockin’ tae ye like geese.”
Audrina felt immense gratitude at his generosity. “Thank you, Colin. I know that place was special to your Maeve.”
He blinked at her and she realized he still thought she was Maeve, she just had a very skewed vision of herself at the moment, but he didn’t argue with her and she was content to remain in his arms on the bed.
CHAPTER 17
Audrina and Colin remained lying on the bed for a while longer. She was beginning to wonder if he was going to let her up, but he seemed reluctant to let her go, even for the briefest moment whilst she shifted on the bed. What shocked her even more as she calmed down while she was talking to him, was that she felt safe and secure in the comfort of his arms. She was almost reluctant to get up herself. But as the morning passed and the sun rose high in the sky, Audrina decided she couldn’t remain cooped up in the chamber all day.
She wiggled her way free and after a few moments of struggling to keep her on the bed, Colin let her go and she stood looking down at him. He was so big, and his muscles flexed as he stretched out and watched her.
Audrina bit her lip and then stammered, “Thank you for listening to me. Umm, you didn’t have to, I’m sure you had other things to be doing. I didn’t think I was going to stop crying once I had started and, well, you ahh, made it better.”
She realized she was babbling and he smiled up at her for the first time. It was devastatingly beautiful as it cracked the hardened visage of his face that was always steeled into a mask of impassivity or determined concentration. She was pleased to note that his teeth were shockingly white and clean, and she was grateful that unlike many of the townspeople she had encountered, he seemed to have a grasp on the importance of personal hygiene. She noticed the overall issue was less of an issue here in the keep than it was out in the town.
Audrina continued to stare down at Colin, who slowly sat up on the bed as she watched him. Audrina took a step back, concerned he was going to embrace her again, but he left his hands at his side so as not to startle her.
Very quietly he asked, “Are ye sure ye doonae remember me, lass? The way ye’ve looked at me just now…” he trailed off.
Audrina thought for a moment and then said, “No, Colin. I don’t remember you.” His face looked crestfallen and for some reason she couldn’t stand to see him so sad, so she said, “But, I did throw myself into the mud in the bog to save your brother, so there must be some part of me, something I don’t understand that is going on.”
Colin looked at her thoughtfully and reached out to her, but she backed away quickly toward the door. She was afraid if he touched her again, she would fall back into his arms and not want him to let her go. Audrina didn’t know if she had just lied to Colin or not, or even more disturbingly, if there was something else going on, and suddenly, she couldn’t stand to be in the same cramped space with him. The chamber walls felt like they were closing in around her and so she turned to the door, yanking it open and fled.
She ran down the stairs and entered the great hall. Mary stood up in a hurry, looking concerned.
“Lass, what is it? What’s wrong?”
But Audrina didn’t answer her. She turned to the doors of the great hall and although she couldn’t open them by herself, she seized upon the opportunity to slip past Alisdair and flee out into the courtyard in the bright sunshine.
Audrina ran as hard and as fast as she could. She was sweating by the time she reached the gates across the moat and she wasn’t hampered when she fled through the open doors. The gates were always kept open to the public to come and go as they pleased during the day. They were rarely closed with the exception of nighttime and the potential for an attack.
Audrina ran down the narrow path, not minding where she was going, and she kept running, through the muddy streets of the town, soaking her slippers.
She heard the thud of boots behind her and she pushed through the crowds as she kept running. Shouts of alarm rang in her ears, but she ignored them as she barreled past and found the narrow path that she had traveled into town on.
As athletic as Audrina was, it didn’t take her long to sprint along the path toward the field where she had woken up in. She knew she ran the risk of running into the farmer again, but she didn’t care. She had to get to that field and find answers. She couldn’t stand not knowing what was real and what wasn’t anymore.
She heard Colin shout behind her, but she didn’t slow down. “Maeve, lass, stop!” he shouted, and she kept on running.
When she got to the field, she targeted the area by sight that she thought she might have landed. She knew it was along the tree line at the back of the field, so she sprinted across the field. She dodged cow patties and potholes and she tugged at her dress, ripping it a little as it became snared in a patch of nettles. She could feel her hair plastered to her neck and she loathed the hot summer sun as it beat down on her back.
When she reached the spot that she thought might be where she had traveled through time, she stopped and spun in circles. This had to be the place, she just knew it. But how had she gotten here? Why was this place special?
Colin ran astride her and for the first time he looked genuinely upset with her. “Och lass, wha’ the bloody hell do ye think yer doin’? Ye’ve given us all a righ’ scare ye have!” he thundered.
She lost her temper with him too. “This is it! This is the place! Why isn’t it working? This is where I fell, and this is where I woke up with a stupid cow licking my face! That one!” She pointed to the same lumbering cow with the white patch on its long brown shaggy fur. It swished its tail and had the audacity to moo at them.
“Lass, do ye hear yerself? O’course this is the field ye collapsed in. No one’s denyin’ tha’s the way it happened, but look o’er there.” He pointed to the far end of the field. “Tha’s the road that leads tae Cotswold’s Castle. He most like let ye go, or maybe ye escaped and ye were so broken when ye did, ye almost made it home, but ended up collapsing in this here field!”
Audrina turned in a circle again, not willing to face the road. “I’m not lying, Colin. Please believe me, please!” she begged. “I had the pin. It was right here!”
She turned in another circle, looking for the pin until she remembered she had thrown it out the window. Colin fished in his sporran for something and to Audrina’s dismay, he pulled the kilt pin out.
“Ye mean this pin here, lass? Alisdair thought he was bein’ attacked by the English when it nigh’ hit him o’er the head when ye threw it out the window. I recognized it fer what it was and picked it up. That’s when we heard a screamin’ wail start up that was unholy-like. I came runnin’ and found ye and me mam in yer room, havin’ a go at one another.” He walked over and held the pin out to Audrina who let it fall into her upturned palm.
It felt warm to the touch, but that may have been because she’d made Colin chase her for almost a mile through the streets and through a field. She closed her palm around it and willed herself back to the museum, but nothing happened. When she opened her eyes, Colin was standing in front of her with his arms crossed and nothing less than a politely patient expression on his face. Audrina looked around as the cow ambled up to her and began nuzzling her palm again. She patted it and it mooed encouragingly at it, which only irritated her more.
“Colin…” she began, but he held up his palm.
“Now listen tae me, lass. I’ve heard yer story and I’ve listened tae ye, but tis time ye accept the fact that yer here, w’it me. I ken ye ended up in this field somehow, lass, bloody hell, e’en the bloody coo kens it, but ye cannae go runnin’ off whene’er it takes yer fancy!” he thundered.
Audrina flinched, and he sighed as he realized he’d frightened her. “Och, lass, I’m verra sorry I was harsh w’it ye. But there are men who willnae be so patient w’it ye if ye cross their path. Ye’re a woman an
d some men, like Cotswold, they…” But before he could finish his sentence, a shout rang out as someone came running up to them.
To Audrina’s horror, it was the very farmer who had accosted her.
“Wha’ the bloody hell do ye think yer doin?” he roared. He had clearly not forgotten she had beat him up and left him lying in the field. Or that she had stolen from him. “I swore tae me dead mam if I e’er caught ye near my coos again, lass…” he thundered. He seemed to not have noticed Colin because he was fixated on her and her red hair. He raised his fists at her until Colin stepped in front of him.
“Tha’s me wife yer threatenin’, man. I suggest ye remember yer place in the face of yer Laird!” he hollered at the farmer.
The farmer cursed and spat and pointed at her. “She kicked me bawbag! She struck me face! Aye, and then the wee hellion wench stole from me stores and took me clothes!” he snarled at her.
Audrina snapped at him in fury, “Well you tried to rape me! I was alone and scared in a field all by myself and you took one look at me and called me a whore! What was I supposed to do, let you have your way with me and then leave me lying there!”
Colin looked back and forth between the two of them, his face thunderous. He turned back to the farmer and began speaking in rapid Gaelic. She understood very little, but she heard the name Cotswold, and she recognized when he pointed to the road. Then he said some more stuff and then pointed to himself. The farmer listened intently, but continued to glare at her. She glared right back and continued petting the cow.
When they were done, both men turned to her and the farmer spat one more time. This seemed to anger Colin who said, “As Laird I doonae permit the harm of the women under my care. Fer yer disgrace I’m fining ye one coo.”
“Ye cannae do that! She stole from me!”
“Aye, and as we’ve just discussed, she wasnae in her right mind.” He fished in his sporran again and pulled out a few coins dropping them on the ground at the farmer’s feet. “Recompense fer the food and clothes, but the coo is the fine fer accostin’ yer Laird’s wife!”
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