“Lass, look at me,” he pleaded with her.
Audrina sucked in a breath and shook her head. There was no way she could face him. She wasn’t prepared for this, and she knew she would quail under the heat of his gaze and confess all and she wasn’t ready for that. How dare he listen in on such a private confession? It was with this heated thought that she spun on her heel before she realized what she was doing. She opened her mouth to tell him off, but he cut her off.
“I heard ye confess. Ye told the Lord above ye have yer memories back. Tell me, what happened tae ye, Maeve.”
Audrina shut her mouth. He still believed she was just Maeve and that she hadn’t died, but been kept prisoner this past year, and was just now returning to him. Audrina wracked her brain for something to say.
“I told you the truth the first time,” she blurted before she could really think about what she was saying.
“Lass…” he spoke to her like he was trying to reason with an unruly child.
“No! Colin! I’m not a child! Don’t speak to me as such! I told you, I woke up in that field and I traveled to the town and saved Donal and that’s the truth of it! Why won’t anyone believe me!” she cried. She paced back and forth in front of the window, flustered and agitated.
“I do believe ye,” he said simply.
It made her stop pacing and look at him. She had blurted the simplest truth that she could think of, because she assumed that like the simplicity of the chapel, there was something honest and true about it. It somehow made it, humble. Now Colin was standing there telling her he believed her. The frustration that stemmed from that was, she didn’t know what to do with that.
“So where does that leave us, Colin? Answer me that? What the bloody hell are we supposed to do now?” she yelled. She was so frustrated and the only person she had been able to take her inner turmoil, fear and anger out on was herself. It was easy shouting at Colin, he just stood there and took it. If he was angry about it, he didn’t show it, and yet, somehow that unending patience he had for her was even more enraging. “Why are you just standing there?” she shouted.
Her life had become a mess and she was tired of being the only one to wallow in it. She wanted someone else to feel as miserable as she did the last few days and as confused and chaotic as she did, and she charged on ahead with her temper, in an attempt to bring Colin along with her.
“What the bloody hell do ye want me tae say, Maeve? That I heard it all? That I ken ye’ve got yer memories back, whate’er they may be, but I cannae help ye cope w’it them until ye confide in me? We were married remember? We’re supposed tae sort these things out together. The madness and all that. But ye willnae let me in. Ye’ve closed yerself off tae me and I doonae ken how tae reach ye and ye willnae e’en let me bloody try!” he thundered back at her.
Audrina felt the tears prick the back of her eyes. He was a man standing there telling her something, but she didn’t know what. What she did know was it was important.
“What do you want from me, Colin? Do you want me to be Maeve? Is that it? Do you want me to lie to you and tell you what you want to hear so that things can go about being normal or whatever that is around here?” Audrina realized she had marched up to him and was standing nose to nose with him. Both of them were breathing hard and their concentration was only broken by the shuffling outside the door. Apparently, they had woken people up, and the people were debating whether they should come in and intercede or not.
Audrina glanced at the door and then flipped her braid over her shoulder, bit her lip and blew out a frustrated breath. She realized at the same time that Colin smiled down at her, that it was a gesture that Maeve used to do all the time. Colin used to tease her so that he would cause that very reaction.
When next he spoke, his words were soft, and kind and they completely took her by surprise. “What I want from you lass, Maeve, Audrina, whate’er ye wish tae call yerself, it doesnae matter tae me, because what I want from ye, is tae be happy. And if that means ye believe yer memories are tellin’ ye that ye were deeply hurt by Cotswold, and ye cannae think o’another way tae deal w’it them other than believin’ in yer life ye’ve created in San Francisco; and aye, I believe one way or another, ye’ve created that life, whether the truth o’it is real tae me or not, it’s real tae ye, or ye fell through the bloody sands o’time because ye died and God Himself brought ye back tae me, whate’er ye believe, I want it tae make ye happy. I’ll take it. I’ll wait, lass. I’ve been waitin’ for ye me whole life and I’ll continue tae wait for ye tae come back tae me.”
Audrina gasped as he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and turned and walked out the door. She watched his retreating back as he yielded the battle field to her, leaving it her decision to go to him or not. She was certain he would not bow down so quietly, save for tonight for her peace of mind, but he was proving to her that he would wait as long as it took for her to come back to him.
Audrina sat on her bed a long time before she finally laid down and tried to sleep. She wasn’t sure what triggered in her mind first, the fact that she wasn’t sleeping, or the fact that she wasn’t sleeping because she was caught up in taking in all the details of the drawings that had been fastened to the ceiling above her bed. At first, she didn’t know what they were, then she realized as she stared up at them, she was staring at pictures of a large bridge, a huge tree that resembled a sequoia, and pictures of her childhood home as she had described them to Colin yesterday as she lay in his arms describing all these things to him.
He had used his imagination, and clearly his artistic skills to replicate what she had described using only her words. Of course, the bridge was off, a medieval Scotsman wouldn’t have any concept of how massive the Golden Gate Bridge really was, but the design was there. She saw a small woman at the base of the sequoia tree and it dawned on her that he had tried to sketch her, or Maeve at the base of the tree. Perhaps he had done this for his own benefit, to understand the vastness of the trees that she had been talking about. And then she thought perhaps he really did understand the wide expanse and magnitude of nature, being a native from the highlands of Scotland.
The last picture was her favorite. It was the little ranch house she and her grandfather had lived in before he passed. She had sold it when he died and moved into an apartment that was rent controlled and had all the modern amenities such as trash removal, a community pool, a maintenance line to call whenever she needed someone to look at the plumbing. She realized, she had purposefully isolated herself from what she held dear, a home with fine memories of a family, because she had been so confused, caught between two-time periods, and she didn’t know where she fit anymore. She missed that house and Colin had done a remarkable job capturing its likeness. He had sketched the shutters to perfection. He had to ask what they were, as the castle didn’t really have shutters like modern houses. He had sketched the little shrub gardens at the base of the front windows and the path that led to the front porch. He had sketched an old man in a rocker that, although looked nothing like her grandfather, the sentiment was there so it made the man in the picture all the more real to her.
Audrina knew they were Colin’s drawings. Because he had signed them at the bottom where artists do. She had never anticipated that he partook of the arts, or anything of refinery, as his attentions were mostly spent in Lording over his people. She wasn’t sure when they had been hung up. Perhaps before she had the last nightmare, and she just didn’t notice them. Or perhaps when she went to wander down to the chapel, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was, in these three drawings, Colin had proved just how much he loved her and cared for her. Even if that meant to him, entertaining her fantasy of another time and another life. Audrina made the second vow she had ever made to herself. She vowed that no matter how confusing life became with the knowledge of two souls living in it, she vowed she wouldn’t shut Colin out of it, because he loved her no matter who she was.
CHAPTER 22
“Colin! You ca
n’t catch me, Colin!” Maeve called. A great splash sounded and then she shrieked as she tried to swim away. The problem was, she wasn’t sure where he had gone. He was always showing off, proving to her that he could swim underwater. She hadn’t been able to do that yet. He had just started to teach her to swim, and he teased her about being a witch. He told her he was secretly testing her in the trial by water. It was an ancient test that determined if the person was a witch, based on whether they survived being thrown in a rushing body of water. Maeve was certain the only rushing of the creek, was during the spring thaw. The majority of the time, it trickled by the keep idly and with tiny splashes and visible trout swimming along lazily in the sun.
Colin had found a pool that the creek gathered in as it ran its way south, and it had flooded the inlet that rested past some rocks, before a small waterfall sent it cascading further down until it ran itself into another trickling stream. It was in the pool that they found solace from the hot summer sun. They had snuck out of the keep through the back door by the chapel again. Maeve had worn her nightshift, and her undergarments, a small pair of pantaloons and a chemise. She would swim in the undergarments and wear the nightgown home to climb into bed. Then by the time the sun rose the next day, the undergarments would be dried.
Maeve looked around in the black water, unable to see anything, because they never dared risk taking a torch with them, lest they were discovered. What would people say to see her in such a state of undress, with the Laird’s nephew of all people? He always opted to swim in naught but his trews, a state of undress that still made her blush, but they had grown up together, so it wasn’t as if she hadn’t seen it all before. Actually, it had been a few years since she had seen it all. Around the time his voice deepened, and her chemise began to fill out. But they had remained fast friends, not letting their budding bodies deter them from their closeness.
This was a game Colin liked to play. He’d swim underwater, so she would lose track of him, and then as she stared around, looking for shadows in the moonlight cast upon the water, he would break the surface of the water, and grab her ankles. She would shriek and splash at him, and then they would scooch down and wait and listen to see if anyone heard her shrieks of fright and come running.
Tonight, had been no different. Colin had scared her twice now already, and she had threatened to cut him down when he was sleeping with his claymore, but he had tugged at her braid and swam away. She had been remiss to leave the pool, because the night had been so humid, and her room was stifling hot, as the last rays of the sun always beat down upon her chamber window. She had slipped the small parchment of paper under Colin’s door, there nightly signal for if they were to go swimming or not. She never drew anything more than the symbol of waves on the parchment, or the symbol with an x through it. This was to keep anyone from discovering their rendezvous. Sometimes Mary would come in and work on her embroidery with Maeve, and on those nights of womanly gossip, she was unable to get away.
Maeve had slipped him the parchment tonight, and they had met in the grove of rowan trees, before making the trek to the pool. She wasn’t sure why tonight had felt different, but perhaps it was the draw of the full moon. She was restless somehow, like she yearned for something she didn’t understand. That’s when she felt the pull of heat in her belly they seemed to be strung down to the apex of her thighs. The coil lay burning, hot and wet as she watched him disrobe to his trousers. She had turned away when he looked back at her, and she was unsure if he had caught her staring at him, but he said nothing when next his head crested the water in the middle of the pool.
She had cautiously waded into the pool, letting the coolness of the water wash over her skin and cool her down from the inside out. They had been swimming for what felt like the better part of the night now, and she was just ready to tell him they should get back, before they were discovered, when Colin had pulled his disappearing game.
She knew the contact was coming. She burned for the touch of his palm on her calf before it even happened. She was never going to tell him such a thing though. But when it came this time, she didn’t jump and shriek shrilly, and she possibly should have, because the inaction, was as much of a tell as the act itself.
When Colin’s head crested the water, he didn’t move away as quickly, to avoid being splashed in the face with water. This was her typical reaction to his games, and when it didn’t happen, he questioned her.
“Are ye alright, Maeve?”
“Och, aye,” she responded and tried to turn away.
“Do I no’ frighten ye anymore?” he asked softly. He was much too close and she felt her pulse race and her heart pound. It was same the same effect could be felt in such a different manner than fear.
“Nay, ye frightened me just fine, Colin. Tis just tha’ I was expectin’ it this time.”
“Aye? And were ye expectin’ me tae do this?” he asked just as his arm circled around her waist and pulled her to him. Before she could protest, he leaned down and kissed her. The kiss was soft and gentle at first, but the more she leaned into him, inviting him in, the more he deepened the kiss to a protective, claiming kiss. She’d wanted him to kiss her for years, but she’d never dared asked for it. Now, here he was, kissing her like he couldn’t live without her kiss.
Maeve moaned as his hands began to roam the length of her back. He tugged gently at her braid, causing her to smile against his lips. His hands cupped her bottom through her pantaloons, the thin fabric was already clinging to her skin from swimming. She gasped as he gave her bottom a squeeze, pulling, lifting and prying her apart. It caused her to press against him, and for the first time she allowed her fingers to intertwine with the blond curls on his chest and she ran her palms over the hard muscles of his abdomen. She felt the hard length of him pressed against her through their clothes, and she mewled into his mouth as he shifted his hips, so that it rubbed at her, causing a delicious friction.
Maeve broke the kiss off as Colin’s hand circled her waist and came up to cup her breast. His fingers wove in between the laces of her chemise and he pulled them free, baring her taught nipple to the moonlight. Maeve watched as his head bent and he sucked it into his warm mouth, and she felt the pull of his tongue as he teased the tight bud. His other hand went between them as he cupped her mound through her pants and she shuddered as he rubbed his palm against her, allowing her the pressure she discovered she desperately needed.
Maeve in turn let her hands wander down over his stomach as he explored her other breast, and she palmed the length of him through his trews.
“Bloody hell, lass!” he croaked.
His voice was raw and needy and when she looked him in the face, he was panting, and his face was strained. She thought maybe she had hurt him, but then she recalled the time she and Colin had espied the thing Maudie did with her mouth to one of the men down at the pub in the back alley. He had the same look upon his face, but when it was over, he thanked Maudie again and again. She and Colin had laughed about it then, but she understood now that the pleasures of the flesh, transcended anything that made any sense to the rational human mind.
She squeezed and rubbed him through his pants, and she watched the different emotions that flickered over his face. He in turn, rubbed her continuously, focusing the butt of his palm on massaging the hard nub in the center of her folds. Whenever she felt more pressure there, the intensity of the feelings grew until she couldn’t stand it anymore.
“Colin!” she moaned. “Don’t stop! That feels so good!”
He seemed to know what she needed, because just as she felt the pulse rip from her veins, he clutched her to him as her cries rang out through the night and she fell off the precipice of bliss. He held her and let her drift down onto his lap in the cool water, where she lay shivering in his arms. Colin, if he needed relief for himself, said nothing, but crooned to her in the mother tongue and she let the whisper of his Gaelic wash over her, just as the waves of pleasure had.
AUDRINA AWOKE AND GROANED
. She had fallen asleep at some point, looking at her new pictures. Colin had made her feel so at home by bringing home to her, that her mind finally had the opportunity to relax, and her memories had started sorting themselves out. Apparently, starting with some of her fondest memories of Colin when she had been Maeve.
Audrina threw her arm over her eyes, the heat of embarrassment reddening her cheeks. She looked then at her window, and realized the sun was up, and the early morning light told her if she didn’t get down to breakfast, she was going to miss it, and she was hungry.
Audrina made her way down to the table. Thankfully, whether it was at the behest of Colin or not, they didn’t say one word about her midnight sojourn to the chapel, or the argument she and Colin had gotten into. They all greeted her a good morning, and she gratefully settled into her seat next to Colin, who smiled at her, and offered her a tray of breads.
Audrina accepted, unable to bring herself to look at him, as the color in her cheeks had yet to dissipate, and she ate her bread in silent mortification.
“Lass, I ken ye didnae get tae bed until the hour was late, but did ye no’ sleep well? Yer as flushed as a wee young sow.”
Audrina choked on her bread, guessing he just told her she was as pink as a young piglet and she tried to think of something to say to him, but before she could he leaned in and whispered, “Or mayhap, lass, t’was tha’ dream o’ yers tha’ has ye blushin’ like a fair maiden. Did I no’ hear ye moanin’ in yer sleep last night? Somat aboot, Colin, tis so good. Please, doonae stop!”
Audrina hid her burning face behind her goblet of water and stared fixedly at her plate so that she wouldn’t have to look him in the eye, and have him see the truth of how badly she wanted him.
CHAPTER 23
The next few days passed for Audrina in a peaceable calm that she hadn’t felt in several days. Life amongst the people of Claran Castle was becoming one that Audrina found she could tolerate despite the lack of modern amenities. Audrina felt her every step dogged by Colin, but she began to understand that she didn’t mind. Her fondness for his amicable conversations and friendly gestures were growing on her.
Highlander Found Page 11
