by Nancy Mehl
“I heard about Cora,” he said. “Looks like you’re making it through your first day with flying colors.”
“I did okay, but not without some help.” I tipped my head toward Callie, who was filling Abel Bennett’s iced tea glass. Abel wasn’t much older than Callie, and it was obvious he found the young Mennonite girl to his liking. I chuckled and lowered my voice so they wouldn’t hear me. “Been a long time since anyone stared at me with that sappy hangdog look.”
Noah laughed and sat down at the table. “Are you talking about me?”
I was so surprised I almost spit out my coffee. Instead, I swallowed too quickly and choked. It took a while for me to stop coughing.
“Sorry,” he said, his forehead wrinkled in concern. “You seem to choke up a lot around me.”
I shot him a dirty look. “What . . . what did you mean?” I managed to get out. My voice was weak and raspy.
He grinned. “You knew how much I liked you, didn’t you? For crying out loud, I used to follow you around like a lost puppy.”
I shook my head in amazement. “We were best friends. Of course, I knew you liked me. I liked you too.”
He turned his head sideways and raised one eyebrow. “I’m afraid it was more than that, Lizzie. I can’t believe you didn’t know it. Surely you could read between the lines.”
“Read between what lines? I never suspected . . . Why didn’t you say something?”
“I guess I was too shy.”
I snorted. “Noah Housler, you were never shy a day in your life.”
His startling green eyes bore into mine. “Only when it came to expressing my feelings for you.”
I felt as if I couldn’t catch my breath and didn’t want to launch into another coughing spasm. I took a moment to calm myself and picked up my coffee cup, staring at him over the rim. Was he teasing me? He seemed serious. How could I have missed his interest? Finally I lowered my cup to the table. It wasn’t big enough to hide behind anyway.
“I think you’re kidding,” I said with a smile, “because I had the biggest crush on you. If you liked me, I would have known it.”
His jovial expression turned serious. “Sometimes when we don’t value ourselves enough, we can miss seeing how other people really feel about us, Lizzie.”
I stood up, determined to get away before he could see how flustered I was. “C-can I get you . . . I mean, do you want to order something?”
He smiled again, but this time it seemed a little forced. “Sure.”
“Apple pie?”
“You know what? Think I’ll actually order an entire meal. What’s on the menu today?”
I ran over the specials with him, stumbling over my words.
“That hot roast beef sandwich sounds perfect. And coffee, please.” The twinkle came back into eyes. “But don’t sell the last piece of apple pie. I doubt I’ll be able to pass it up.”
I nodded quickly and fled from the room. When I reached the kitchen, I pushed the swinging door open and leaned against the wall next to it. I thought back to the time Noah had consoled me after my father’s whipping. He’d been so sweet to me, promising that everything would be all right. But in all the time we’d spent together, there was never a moment when I’d thought his feelings for me were more than friendship. If only I’d realized . . .
I pushed myself away from the wall. If I’d known he liked me I probably wouldn’t have gotten involved with Clay. Why hadn’t Noah said something before he left for school? I would have waited for him. For as long as it took. I shook my head, angry with myself for even thinking that way. It wouldn’t do any good to wonder what might have happened. The past was behind me, and thinking about it now was a waste of time.
I prepared his hot beef sandwich, making sure to give him extra mashed potatoes and beef. I was just finishing up when Callie came into the kitchen.
“Is that Noah’s?” she asked. “Do you want me to carry it out to him?”
“That’s okay,” I said quickly. “You make sure everyone else has what they need. I’ll take care of Noah.”
She nodded. “Am I doing all right? Sorry if I’m a little slow.”
I turned and smiled at her. “A little slow? You’re putting me to shame. You’re twice as fast as I was when I started working in my first restaurant. I hope you’ll stay on, Callie. Of course, when Cora gets back, I can’t promise anything.”
“I understand,” she said softly. She put her hand on my arm. “Thank you so much for giving me this job, Lizzie. Even if it only lasts a short time. I’m very grateful for the chance to save up some money.”
“Plans?”
She blushed. “No. Well, maybe. I hope to be married someday, and I want to make certain we’ll have enough money to buy a house.”
“Oh?” I chuckled. “Abel Bennett can’t keep his eyes off you. Is that your future intended?”
Her eyebrows shot up. “Abel Bennett? Oh my, no. It’s Levi Housler.”
“Levi? Noah’s brother?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
I cleared my throat. “Isn’t he . . .”
“A little old for me?”
I put Noah’s plate down on the counter and nodded. “He’s almost thirty, isn’t he?”
Callie stuck her chin out, and her eyes flashed with defiance. “He is twenty-eight years old, and I am twenty. That is only eight years’ difference. My parents were ten years apart.”
“I’m sorry if I sounded judgmental. I didn’t mean to.”
A smile chased the bravado from her face. “I apologize too. I guess I’m feeling somewhat defensive.”
“Totally understandable. How do your parents feel about your relationship?”
She looked at me with a confused expression. “There is no relationship. Levi doesn’t even know I like him.” She grinned. “I’m working on him gradually.”
I couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Callie seemed to understand my reaction and put her hand over her mouth as she giggled. At that moment she looked exactly as she had when we’d been in school. Although I was only a few years older than her, I felt almost ancient.
“Well, this will be interesting. I intend to keep an eye on you and Levi. My money’s on you.”
She cocked her head to the side. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand. Why would you spend money on me?”
For all of Callie’s boldness, she was still a Kingdom girl. It took great effort for me to keep a straight face while I explained the worldly expression to her. But she nodded happily once I cleared up the confusion, and she thanked me for having confidence in her ability to attract Levi’s attention.
“I’d better get this food out to Noah before it gets cold.”
“You can’t tell Noah that I’m planning to marry his brother,” she said.
“I won’t. I promise.”
She smiled and turned to fill the coffee and tea pitchers. I grabbed Noah’s plate and pushed against the kitchen door, amused by her refreshing honesty and naïveté. She wasn’t being sneaky, just straightforward about her plans to marry the man she loved. I wondered if Levi suspected anything. However, even with my limited experience with men, I’d come to the conclusion that most of them had no clue what women were thinking.
As I walked toward Noah’s table with his plate, I wondered if he knew how deep my feelings ran for him. I prayed silently that this wasn’t the case. I tried to look as indifferent to his presence as I could. Unfortunately, I forgot about a slight bulge in the rug that I’d been avoiding all day. My toe hit it, and I almost fell. Noah’s plate went flying out of my hands and slid across his table. He desperately tried to catch it but was only partially successful. The plate flipped and most of his lunch plopped into his lap. I stood there with my mouth hanging open, horrified by what I’d just done.
Abel Bennett began to snicker, and my mother stood up from the table where she’d been eating with Charity. Except for Abel’s snorting, there wasn’t another sound in the room until Noah looked at me innocently
and said, “Could I have some extra gravy with that?”
I was so embarrassed I turned and ran back toward the kitchen, past Callie, who was holding a carafe of coffee and a pitcher of tea. I sat down at Charity’s small table and buried my face in my hands. Why did I keep doing such ridiculous things around Noah? A few moments later Callie came in without the tea and coffee.
“Are you all right?” she asked.
I nodded, not trusting my voice.
“It was just an accident,” she said gently. “Noah took it very well. You should—”
“Why don’t you let me talk to her?”
I glanced up in dismay. Noah stood in the doorway, mashed potatoes sliding down his pant leg, and a big wet stain on his dark slacks.
Callie nodded at him and left the room smiling.
“I-I’m s-sorry,” I said, my voice shaking. “You m-must think I’m an idiot.”
He didn’t say anything for a moment. Then he came over to the small table, where I crouched on the child-sized chair. “I would never think that about you,” he said gently. He grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet. “What I think is that you’re the most intelligent, entertaining, and surprising girl I’ve ever known. And I thought that even before you served supper in my lap.”
I started to protest, to apologize for being such a klutz, but he put his fingers on my lips and his eyes sought mine. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was getting ready to kiss me, but before he could finish what he’d started, a voice bellowed from behind us.
“I might have known I would find you in a compromising position. You haven’t changed at all. Have you, Daughter?”
I pushed Noah away and looked past him. There at the door stood my father, the self-righteous expression on his face all too familiar.
CHAPTER / 19
“Elder Engel, this isn’t Lizzie’s fault.” Noah turned to face my outraged father while I just stood there like my feet were glued to the floor.
“I am not interested in hearing from you, boy,” Father growled. “And I am no longer an elder in the church. Surely you remember that, seeing as you have usurped my position?”
Noah started to say something, but my father waved his response away. “I am certain the church board will be interested in how their new elder conducts himself. I may not be a part of Kingdom Church any longer, but I will surely warn them about your behavior.” With that, he stormed out of the kitchen.
“Noah, I’m so sorry . . .” Before I could finish my sentence, Noah turned around and planted a kiss firmly on my lips.
“That’s what I intended to do before your father burst in. I hope it doesn’t offend you in any way.”
My thoughts were so jumbled, I muttered something nonsensical. Then I gathered up my wits and gently pushed him away. “Now my father thinks I’m a . . . a . . .”
“Lady of loose morals?” he said with a cockeyed grin. He grabbed me by the shoulders and gazed into my eyes. “And are you, Lizzie? Are you who your father says you are?”
I stared back at him as a fire began to burn somewhere in the pit of my stomach. I shook his hands off. “I most certainly am not!” I said it so loudly I actually startled myself.
“Then why don’t you stop acting like it? Quit allowing your father to define you. He’s wrong, you know. He’s been wrong your whole life.”
“How can you possibly say that?” My voice shook with emotion, but I didn’t seem to be able to control it.
“Because I know you,” he replied, his eyes flashing with emotion. “The problem is that you don’t. Maybe it’s time you had some faith in yourself.”
Before I could respond, raised voices from the restaurant drew my attention. I hurried past Noah, pushed open the kitchen door, and found my father standing in the middle of the dining room, shouting. The only customer left was Abel Bennett, who got up, handed some money to Callie, and quickly left. Callie prudently turned our Open sign over and pulled down the shade on the front door.
“I will not go with you, Matthew.” My mother sat at a table with Charity, whose eyes were wide with alarm as she watched my father’s tirade.
I went over and whispered to Callie, asking her to take Charity upstairs. She quickly gathered up my daughter and led her away. Before they left, I assured Charity that everything would be all right, but the anxiety on her face stoked my own indignation. After I heard the door upstairs close, I whirled around and looked my father in the eye.
“How dare you come in here and frighten my daughter,” I said. “And how dare you try to bully my mother . . . and me.”
He took a menacing step toward me, but someone stepped in between us. Noah.
“This is over,” Noah said in a low voice.
With Noah standing between us, I couldn’t see all of father’s face, but his eyebrows rose, and I saw something in his eyes I’d never seen before. Was it fear?
“When I was younger, I couldn’t stand up to you the way I wanted to. But I’m not a child now, and neither is Lizzie. I won’t allow you to intimidate her. And I’ll certainly never allow you to lay a hand on her again, Matthew. Never. Do you understand me?”
Father’s expression turned toxic, and he shook with anger. I began to worry for Noah’s safety. “Why, you little pretender. You claim a position on the board of elders, yet I find you in a sinful situation with my daughter. And then you threaten violence against me? The foundation of our religion is a rejection of violence. But you do not seem to understand this, do you?”
“Funny,” Noah said, his voice calm yet strong, “I thought the foundation of our religion was Christ, His sacrifice, our redemption, and His grace to live the life He’s called us to. Perhaps it is you who doesn’t understand. And I would certainly question your view of nonviolence. It appears it doesn’t apply to your treatment of your daughter.”
Father took another step toward Noah, his hand raised, but Noah stood his ground, and I was afraid he would allow Father to strike him. I stepped in front of him.
“That’s enough, Father. I want you to leave. Now. You’ve frightened Charity, and I won’t have it. You will not terrorize my daughter the way you did me. And you will not run roughshod over anyone else I care about. It stops right now.”
“What right do you have to talk to me like that?” he thundered.
“All the right in the world.” I sounded confident, but my knees were shaking so hard I was convinced everyone could hear them knocking together. “As Noah said, I’m an adult now, not a frightened little girl. I will make my own decisions, and I will live my own life. You will stay away from Charity—do you hear me? And as far as my mother, if she’s told you she doesn’t want to go with you, then she’ll not go. And that’s the last of it.”
He stood there, trembling. I saw uncontrolled wrath in his face, and I began to wonder if that expression was what the man in the red ball cap had seen just before he died.
“I believe Lizzie asked you to leave,” Noah said quietly. “It’s time for you to go, Matthew.”
They stared at each other for several seconds, but it felt like hours to me. Finally my father turned toward my mother. “I am telling you for the last time to come with me, Anna. And I forbid you to come here ever again. Or to see Elizabeth Lynn and that illegitimate child of hers. I will not give you another chance to defy me. Do you understand?”
My mother stood up slowly. “I will not go, Matthew. I will continue to visit my daughter and my grandchild. And you do not need to give me another chance. I do not seek one. I have made my choice.”
My father’s face turned pale, and he sputtered incomprehensibly. Finally he gathered himself together and said, “You are not welcome in my house, woman. If you come home, you will find the door locked.”
My mother smiled slowly. “If you remember, Matthew, that is not your house. It was my mother’s and was passed down to me. I am afraid you are the one who will have to leave if you choose to do so. You may certainly keep me out for a while, but I am confident the board
of elders will side with me if we must appear before them.”
“As one of the elders, I can assure you that’s exactly what will happen,” Noah said. “I don’t wish to see a marriage dissolved, Brother Matthew. Even yours. We’ll be available to you both for counseling. Of course, you’ll have to decide if you want restoration before we can help you. For now, however, I think it’s wise for you to move out of Sister Anna’s house.”
Father’s eyes swept over all of us, finally settling on Mother, who refused to back down from his angry gaze. “Is this what you want, Anna? For me to leave our home? If your answer is yes, please do not think for a moment that I will ever return.”
Mother’s eyes flushed with tears. “Even with everything you have done, Matthew, I still love you. I may be the only person in the world who does. But I will not turn away from Lizzie and Charity. I cannot. If I did, my heart would surely break in two. Do not misunderstand me. I am not putting my child and grandchild before my husband, but I know that our marriage is . . . wrong. Even though you say you will reject me for my decision, I want you to know that my door will always be open to you. However, for you to come back, you must agree to counseling through our church. And you must accept Lizzie and Charity into your life.”
My father took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I will never do that.”
“Then I am sorry for you, Husband. And ashamed. Ashamed that you call yourself a follower of Christ, yet you do not understand even the basics of love.”
“Is that all?” Father’s eyes seemed to sweep over my mother’s face as if trying to capture it one last time. I realized that tears were streaming down my cheeks. Quickly wiping them off with the back of my hand, I took a step closer to my father.
“Before you go, Father, I have a question, and I would like an answer. The man who was found dead on the road, the stranger—did you have anything to do with his death? I must know.”
He paused for a moment and then shook his head slowly, looking down toward the floor. “I will not answer your question, Elizabeth,” he said finally. “You may suspect me if you wish; that is not my concern.” He turned and walked toward the front door. Before turning the knob he looked back at me. “I will tell you one thing, but that is all. If this man was killed, you are asking your question to the wrong person.” He stared at Noah for a moment and then looked at Mother once more. With that he unlocked the door, stepped outside, and was gone.
