‘I guess … I guess I am,’ he nodded, as if it were a surprise to him.
‘What if I had some stipulations that you had to agree to?’
‘Such as?’ he asked, as he folded his arms across his chest in a defensive manner. He must know what was coming, surely he hadn’t thought that I’d be ok to continue to see him while he had sex with other women?
‘I don’t share.’
‘Neither do I.’
‘I’m not currently seeing anyone else and if we were going to try this I wouldn’t see anyone in the future.’
‘Neither would I,’ he retorted.
‘So we’re agreed that you’ll give up your escorting?’
‘Who said anything about giving that up?’ he asked, raising his eyebrows in surprise.
‘You are joking, right?’ I asked, not completely sure if he was or not.
‘No,’ came his fast response.
‘So you want me to agree to go out with you, exclusively, but you still get to sleep around?’
‘I’m not sleeping around. I’m just doing my job.’
‘Your job is having sex with women for money, I’m not ok with that, Logan.’ I looked at him hurt, how could he possibly think I’d be ok with that? That anyone would be?
‘Ok then, I’ll give up my job if you give up yours.’
‘Meaning?’
‘You mess around with Daron, you want me to stop doing the same, you have to do it too. I don’t want anyone touching you, kissing you or seeing your breasts, let alone naked. We date, you’re mine.’
‘It’s just a job,’ I replied rolling my eyes. I quite liked that he felt so possessive over me, that he wanted me all to himself, just like I wanted him. He still didn’t have a right to tell me that I had to give up faking sex on screen, not when he expected to carry on doing far worse. ‘I’m faking it.’
‘So am I, what’s the difference?’ he asked, looking at me as if I were stupid.
‘You’re … Oooo you’re so bloody infuriating,’ I hissed, anger firing me up. ‘You expect me to give up my career, something I’ve worked really hard at, while you still get to sleep with other women, touch their bodies and kiss them?’
‘It’s not real, I may come, because hey, I’m a guy, it’s what we do. As for the rest, I fake it with all of them, or I did until you booked me. They mean nothing to me, it’s sex with no emotional attachment. Besides, it’s my main source of income.’
‘As is acting for me. In fact it’s currently my only source of income, you still have your personal training, so you can forget it. If seeing your sexual predilections wasn’t bad enough, if this is what you think will clinch the deal to me agreeing to see you, then consider your offer permanently rejected,’ I bit with tears stinging my eyes. I’d never felt so insulted in my life. I spotted my clutch on the kitchen island and grabbed it as I ran for his front door.
‘Where do you think you’re going?’ he called, ‘this discussion isn’t over.’
‘It is now,’ I called back, as I fiddled with his security chain with shaking fingers. ‘As is this … whatever this is.’
‘You’re not going out there dressed like that.’
‘I have dresses shorter than this shirt and you don’t get to tell me what I can and can’t do. I’m going to find a telephone box and ring for a taxi. I’m going home,’ I muttered, as tears started to roll down my face. I really thought he’d liked me, he said he was falling for me. Not far enough it seemed or he wouldn’t hurt me like this.
‘Firstly, how many telephone boxes do you see around London anymore?’ he asked, as I felt him press up behind me and put his hands over mine, removing them from the lock. ‘You have no idea where you are so how would a taxi come to pick you up? Plus you’re not wearing any shoes.’
‘Don’t touch me,’ I moaned as I sniffed back my tears.
‘You’re crying?’ he gasped and spun me around. He looked so concerned that I was upset.
‘Don’t, don’t be all nice, you’re so confusing. You’re nice, you’re romantic, you take care of me, then you have a seriously scary room, tell me you want to hurt me and that you still want to sleep with other women while you date me. Right now I kind of hate you.’
‘O, angel,’ he sighed and wrapped his arms around me. I sobbed against his chest. Why did I suddenly feel safe again? My emotions were spinning so fast. I was tired, beyond tired. I’d worked so hard lately, I’d just had the biggest night of my life, I had this gorgeous man who seemed to want me, who’d made me come so many times my legs still felt like jelly and I felt all at sea. This wasn’t the right time to try to talk about what we wanted from each other. I needed some time and space. ‘I didn’t mean to scare you, or hurt you. But if I cancel on my clients to date you and you decide that you don’t want me, that I’m not good enough for you, it’s an uphill struggle to try and rebuild my reputation again. You’re asking a lot of me.’
‘You’re asking a lot of me to expect me to give up acting and to be faithful when you aren’t. You didn’t like the idea of me faking it on screen, imagine how you’d feel if I was actually having sex with someone else?’ I felt him tense up immediately.
‘I’d hate it, I’d want to kill anyone who touched you,’ he snarled.
‘You can’t ask something of me, something more of me, than you’re prepared to do yourself. I … I really like you, Logan. But if I’m going to have sex with you again, I won’t share you.’
‘So what? You want to forget this? Give up on whatever we have? Because we have something, Summer. I’ve been with enough women, feeling nothing, to know that this is real.’
‘I don’t need anyone else, to know that I want more with you, but I need to know you better. The man beneath Logan Steele. The way you are when you’re not being paid to be perfect. I need you to explain to me what me being submissive would mean? What you’d do to me in that bedroom? Because that terrifies me, Logan.’
‘You really want to get to know me, the real me?’
‘I don’t want to fall in love with one man, to find I’m actually seeing another,’ I replied, as I sniffed against his bare chest.
‘Last night and this morning, that was the real man. You think you could fall in love with him?’ he asked, his heart beating wildly against my cheek.
‘In time, yes,’ I whispered. ‘But not if you’re still doing what you do.’
‘So where the hell do we go from here?’ he replied, as he reached up to stroke my hair and kissed the top of my head.
‘I think we have to take sex out of the equation, just see each other as friends, until we’re both sure we want to move forward with this.’
‘No sex? Seriously?’
‘I have feelings for you Logan and it would hurt me to share you. I understand your reluctance to give up your job, but you have to accept my reluctance to be just one of many the women you sleep with. If it happens again, I want to be the only woman.’
‘Do you have any idea how hard that’s going to be?’ he whispered as his grip tightened. ‘To see you but not be able to kiss you, or touch you?’
‘About as hard as that erection currently bruising my stomach,’ I replied as I kissed his chest. I suddenly wasn’t so sure that I could cope seeing him, even as friends, not knowing he was still having sex, touching other women the way he touched me, but there again I liked him so much that if I walked away, I wasn’t sure I’d ever get over him. Could I live with that regret if I didn’t go through with this crazy friendship plan?
‘I think you’d better leave then, sooner than later. Having you in here, dressed like that, it’s too much of a temptation.’
‘Agreed,’ I nodded, without looking up at him. One look at those beautiful grey eyes and I’d cave, but I deserved better than to be one of many. I wanted to be his only, just as I’d be his.
‘I’ll call James to take you wherever you want. When will I see you again?’ he asked as his fingers tangled in my hair.
‘I’ll email you.’<
br />
‘No,’ he shot back. ‘That email is for clients, I told you that you’re not a client. I’ll give you my personal mobile number. Just don’t make me wait, I’m not a patient man.’
As the doorbell rang I was sitting in his lap, my head on his shoulder, my arms around his waist, as he had his around mine. We’d sat there for half an hour in silence, just holding each other tightly. I was scared to let go. What if I walked out that door, decided to call him only to find he’d changed his mind? Or what if I rang him and he never even answered or returned my call? He was my Prince, an unconventional one, but I knew it without even getting to know him better. Why couldn’t I have just met and fallen for a regular guy? The doorbell rang again and he sighed.
‘Someone needs to make a move here.’
‘I know,’ I replied, as I lifted my head and kept my eyes downcast.
‘Look at me,’ he whispered.
‘I can’t, I don’t want to think that I may be looking at you for the last time with tears in my eyes.’
‘It won’t be the last time, Summer. It can’t be the last time,’ he replied firmly. I took a deep shaky breath as he used his fingers to tip my head back up, as tears rolled down my cheeks. ‘Kiss me again.’
‘Logan,’ I objected.
‘Please, in case you change your mind and don’t ring me. I’ve chased you twice now Summer Beresford, I won’t chase you again, I couldn’t take another rejection.’
‘It’s not a rejection,’ I sniffed, still not totally convinced myself, as I dragged his shirt sleeve across my eyes. ‘It’s a stall, a time out, to see if all we have is this physical attraction to each other.’
‘It better just be a time out, not a goodbye, because I don’t ever want to feel pain like this again,’ he sighed.
‘Tell me about it,’ I nodded. He clasped my face as he looked at me sadly and his lips moved closer. I knew I should resist, but I couldn’t help myself. If it was our last kiss, I wanted the memories of it to last me a lifetime. I flung my arms around his neck and trembled as he wrapped me up in his. Sparklers wrote his name in my eyes, bright coloured fireworks exploded in my head and I felt like popping candy was going off in my mouth. I heard him groan as his grip on me tightened. We both ignored the third ring of the bell as we lost ourselves in each other, in the most perfect kiss we’d had to date. I could feel all of his emotion in it and it felt real, I only hoped he felt mine in return. We only broke away when we heard the intercom crackle and a voice boom down it.
‘Sir, I’ve rung your doorbell three times and I now fear for your safety. If you can hear me, you have precisely thirty seconds to respond with our safe phrase, when I end this message with the word “Over,” or I’ll be coming through the door. I really don’t want to be traumatised for life by catching you in the middle of the act, with your naked backside in the air. No matter how attractive the ladies might think it is. Are we clear? And please tell me that you haven’t dead bolted the door, as I really don’t fancy putting my shoulder out of joint, or ruining my suit by performing water manoeuvres through the canal to reach your balcony. Over.’
We both burst out laughing, poor James.
‘Sorry, I’d better let him know we’re ok, he’s too old to damage his shoulder and that canal isn’t the cleanest,’ Logan grinned as he stood up and set me on the floor. I wiped my eyes as he jogged over to the intercom on the wall. ‘Sorry, I was doing the housework,’ he stated, with a wink over at me.
‘Thank God, I’m getting too old for all this commando shit,’ came James’s voice. ‘Apologies if I was the cause for anything to … deflate. I shall wait patiently in the car if more time is required to get back on track.’
‘No, no deflation. Miss Beresford is ready to leave once she puts her shoes on, James.’
‘Sorry to swear, Sir. I was a little worked up.’
‘No apology required. I’m a creature of habit, why wouldn’t you think something was wrong when I didn’t answer immediately. We’ll be out in a moment.’
‘“Sorry, I was doing the housework?”’ I enquired.
‘Hate it, I have a cleaner,’ he replied, as he disappeared into the bedroom. He returned wearing a pair of jeans with a grey t-shirt stretched over his taut torso, carrying my shoes and gestured with his head to a stool at the island. I padded over and took a seat as he lifted one foot after the other and did up the straps for me, placing a kiss on each ankle when he was done. He laced his fingers through mine and opened the front door. I had no recollection of arriving last night. He had a glossy black front door, with two large round box hedges in stainless steel pots either side under a glass canopy. James was waiting with the limo door open for me. ‘I’ve got it James, thank you,’ Logan advised. James nodded and got into the driving seat and closed his door.
‘So,’ I sighed.
‘I had the best night, don’t give up on me. Give me a chance, take the time to get to know me?’ Logan asked as he held my gaze.
‘You promise to be honest with me? No lies, no keeping things from me that you think I can’t handle?’
‘I promise. Here’s my number, it’s not to be given to anyone else and you need to promise to call me,’ he countered, as he pushed a folded piece of paper in my hand.
‘Then expect a call from me very soon,’ I nodded. He leaned forwards and I thought he was going to kiss me again, my lips automatically parted, but he lay one on my forehead.
‘Take care, angel.’
‘You too,’ I choked. If I’d liked “baby” I loved “angel.” I quickly slid onto the back seat before I broke down on the street. Logan took one last look at me, before he closed the door and rapped on the roof.
‘Home, Miss Beresford?’ asked James.
‘Do you mind going via my hotel?’ I replied, as I tried to discreetly wipe my eyes, wondering what he made of me being at Logan’s, dressed in just a shirt and heels. ‘My bags are still there.’
‘Of course not,’ he replied. ‘I’ll give you some privacy, but press the button directly in front of you if you want my attention.’
‘Thank you,’ I replied, as he slid the privacy screen up. I looked out of my window to see Logan had his hands in his pockets as he stared in. I knew he couldn’t see me, because of the blacked out windows, but I kissed my fingers and put them against the glass anyway and twisted my head to watch him, until we pulled out of sight and I started crying again. I lay down on the seat, tucking up my legs and smiled through my tears to see my purple dress from last night carefully folded in the corner of the seat opposite. I unwrapped the piece of paper in my hand to see a little note, along with Logan’s number, which made me cry even harder.
Client Evaluation
Logan
I watched the limo drive off, feeling sick. I’d never been needy with a woman, never, but the effect she had on me was unprecedented. This was going to be my fastest evaluation after an appointment ever. I pulled out my phone and marked her email as a VIP, joining the ranks of my best friend, Ian, James and my family. It was a short list and no other woman had ever graced it.
I couldn’t believe she’d walked into my room and seen the St Andrew’s cross and the bed. I’d never used either of them, they were there ready for the person that one day I’d hoped to share my life with. I already knew she was that woman, but that wasn’t the way I wanted her to find out, she was too naïve and innocent to understand that I’d never hurt her against her will, or without her begging me to inflict a little pain on her. She may not trust me yet, but I excelled in everything I did. If she wanted to just try being friends first and getting to know each other better, I was going to be the best God damn friend she’d ever known. Having no sex until she truly felt I was for real, was going to be a killer, but I’d warrant her sexual desire for me would soon override this crazy plan of hers. I’d never had a woman resist me yet, it was both infuriating and a seriously hot challenge.
I’d been stupid refusing to give up my clients, I’d just risked her for pride a
nd money, money I already had and didn’t need. What the fuck was wrong with me? I was a stubborn, old fashioned guy, that was what. I didn’t like having a woman tell me what to do and I’d retaliated the only way I knew how, by digging in my heels. In my eyes Daron seeing her breasts, touching her body and faking sex with her, was no different to what I did, week in, week out. I was also kind of scared how fast my feelings for her were developing, maybe it was a last ditch attempt at self-protection. Trying to push her away, before she did the same to me. All I knew was that if she wasn’t going to date me, I didn’t want anyone else. I’d only considered the possibility of giving up the escorting for her last night, it had never been in my master plan, not for some years anyway.
I flicked through my files, I was supposed to be seeing Eve Myers on Saturday night, all the arrangements were already in place. I was going to have to cancel, I was going to have to cancel all of my clients. Even if we were just seeing each other as friends, I knew how I’d feel if Summer even kissed another man, it would eat me up inside, I felt angry just at the thought of it. She was right, I couldn’t expect her to refrain if I wasn’t going to. I waited until the limo disappeared from view, then went in, closed the door and poured myself a glass of water with a twist of lime. I needed to go and work out, get some of this tension out of my body. She’d ring, of course she’d ring, look at the state of her when she left. She hurt, as much as I did saying goodbye. If I was a betting man I’d lay all of my money and worldly possessions on the fact that I’d be answering her call, long before I crawled into my bed tonight. A bed what would still have her scent all over it. I grinned at the thought and rang my best friend, to tell him my good news.
Sophisticated for the Night Page 9
