Basic Training of the Heart
Page 9
Bett shook her head slowly, unable to articulate anything more for the churning that had spread to her stomach.
“So we’re given to understand that your primary interest is in wireless coding and transmission, Miss Carlton,” General Foreman began, shuffling some papers. “And we’ll see to it that you are transferred into that program immediately…today.”
“Before I finish my basic training?” Bett’s hands settled on the table in front of her.
“We hardly think that an Oxford graduate, and an honors graduate at that, needs to spend any more time in basic training,” Foreman said.
“I’m just curious, gentlemen,” Bett began, heavy sarcasm in her tone. “Is it the Oxford degree that gets me out of basic training, or is it my father’s money?” She could see Rains’s eyes narrow, as if surprised by the bluntness of the question.
Before they could attempt an answer, Bett continued. “And I’m surprised that WAC enrollment is down, if all of your recruits get such generous personal attention.”
“Well…” Clifton began, but Bett had heard enough.
“Gentlemen,” she stood and the men scrambled to their feet. Only Sergeant Rains remained seated. “You may tell my father, the president, and Adolph Hitler himself that I will continue my basic training, I will graduate with my platoon, and I will take whatever position I am considered qualified for at that time.” Her voice reverberated in the small room. “And if that is all, I will take my leave.”
“Rutherford,” General Clifton hissed, “escort her back to her barracks. Try to make her understand—”
“I’ll do that, sir, if I may.” Rains’s voice came through clearly, though mildly as usual, as she too stood, making her way around the table. “Private…Smythe may have some squad matters that she needs to discuss with me.”
The men looked surprised, as if they had forgotten that she was there. Then they looked at each other uncomfortably. Finally Clifton spoke. “Very well, Sergeant.” He removed a card from his jacket pocket. “If you should change your mind, Miss Carl…er…Private…” He offered it to Bett without finishing his sentence.
Without looking at it, she slipped it into the breast pocket of her jacket. “Thank you, sir.” Bett saluted smartly and Rains followed suit. “Good day, gentlemen.”
The two women walked silently down the hall and out into the twilight. After a few more feet, Bett began to giggle. She could feel Rains’s eyes on her, but she couldn’t help it. It was the mix of it all, the unexpected emotion of the dream, the obvious presence of her father’s influence, and then the fun of running those tin-star generals around a bit. She tried to calm herself before the giggle erupted into full-scale hysterical laughter.
Sergeant Rains looked concerned as she glanced back toward the door. “Stop it, Private,” she said gruffly. “That’s an order.”
“Is it?” Bett had been winding down, but the stern look on Rains’s face made her start up again.
Hustling Smythe off the sidewalk and into the shadows between two buildings, away from view of the exiting generals, Sergeant Rains’s voice was severe. “Don’t you think they might hear you?” Bett could only shake her head as she caught her breath. Rains leaned around her to glance at the door again. “People in authority generally don’t appreciate it when their special favors are refused. Your amusement will only make things worse.”
Steadying herself with her hands on her hips, Bett raised her chin. “So are you suggesting that I do what they want?”
“Not at all,” Rains answered quickly. “I think you did exactly the right thing.” She paused to let her praise be heard before adding, “I just don’t think you should laugh about it.”
Meeting Rains’s eyes, Bett asked, “Tell me honestly, Sergeant. Do you treat me differently because of who I am?”
“Of course,” Rains replied. Bett frowned and looked away, feeling her resentment building again until her sergeant continued, “I approach each of my recruits a little differently because of who they are. Because of who they are, Private, not because of who their family is. Surely you understand the distinction?”
The emphasis in Sergeant Rains’s voice confirmed exactly what Bett had observed in her treatment of their squad. Everyone valued for their individuality, even as they were learning to work together as a whole. Everyone had their different touchpoints through which Sergeant Rains—and therefore the WAC—found a connection. With her, it had been literary criticism; with Archer, it was baseball. But when they came together, they were 20th Company, 5th Regiment. Nothing else mattered. She nodded and Rains went on. “So explain to me your thinking to reject such a generous offer. I know it isn’t because you are enjoying basic training so much.” Bett saw that hint of a smile and she felt an answering grin inside herself. Then the sergeant’s face became solemn again. “Aren’t you aware that these men are in a position to make your time here very unpleasant? Any one of them outranks every woman on this base, including Colonel Issacson.”
“Of course I know that,” Bett answered, her voice sharp. “Sergeant, I’ve had the protection of money and the threat of that protection being withdrawn for my entire life. Would you rather I cried than laughed? Should I simply give in, rather than stand up to them? I certainly think that’s what they would prefer, don’t you?” She gestured toward the building they had just left, and then turned her gaze back to Rains, who was squinting uncertainly. “But don’t you see that this is all about my father and the influence that he’s acquired? It’s not really even about me. It’s about the contracts he’ll be awarded or the write-offs he’s getting.” She sighed. “Obviously, his reach extends to the highest ranks of the Army and that meeting was just a reminder that I’m subject to him, even here.”
The sergeant looked off in the distance for a moment, as if she was trying to see something far away. When her gaze returned, she still looked unsure. Bett asked, “You don’t come from money, do you, Sergeant?” Rains drew back somewhat, but then shook her head once. Bett nodded in confirmation and spoke earnestly. “Which is why you don’t understand. With my father, it’s all business. When we first arrived, you spoke of family. Well, my family is more like a company. A company from which I tried to resign by coming here. But I’m still a commodity to him, still his product, and he’s making sure I know it. Any imperfection, any deficiency, any sign of weakness—even here—and my value to him decreases.” She looked down, thinking and added quietly, “Again.” Taking a breath, she continued, “My father loves to quote Thomas Jefferson. Money, not morality, is the principle commerce of civilized nations. Well in that sense, my father is very civilized. And I am nothing but a commodity to him, and those generals are certainly his commerce, too.” She slumped onto the grass, looking at her hands.
“Much of value in our world is not for sale,” the sergeant announced, almost startling Smythe as she sat cross-legged, facing her. “And the most meaningful things in life have nothing to do with money.”
Bett gave a doubtful shake of her head. “Everything has a price, Sergeant. My father taught me that.”
“At times you remind me of a teacher I had once. Not your accent, but the way you put your words together.” Bett raised her eyebrows. To her recollection, this was the first personal thing Sergeant Rains had ever volunteered to her. Even her sergeant’s posture seemed much more informal as she leaned closer than usual. “She made me care about learning with her beautiful words, and by reading us the words of others.” Bett was intrigued. Rains went on, looking into the distance again. “The one I liked to hear the most was Henry David Thoreau. He said, Money is not required to buy one necessity of the soul.”
Bett nodded as she recalled Rains quoting Thoreau that first night of her KP. It didn’t fit with the image that she projected as a tough sergeant, but Bett already suspected that wasn’t all there was to her. She took a ragged breath and lowered her voice. “Do you know why I chose to enter the WAC under this name?” Rains shook her head. After a few seconds, Bett’s vo
ice grew even smaller. “Because my father frightened me. When he couldn’t talk me out of joining up, he convinced me that everyone would know the Carlton name and I would be a target for kidnapping, or at least extortion, because of our wealth. That no one here could protect me.” She saw her sergeant’s posture stiffen again and she added, “Of course, now that I’m here, I see how silly that was, but it’s too late to change my name back now.”
Sergeant Rains took Bett’s hands in her own and Bett’s eyes widened in surprise. “You don’t ever need to be afraid here. I will keep you safe.” As if realizing that what she had said sounded much too personal, Rains continued, “It is the job of all the officers to see to the security of our recruits. We take that responsibility very seriously.”
Bett looked at her for a long moment and then lowered her gaze. “I don’t know why I let him manipulate me this way. Even knowing that he’s doing it doesn’t seem to help. I don’t think there’s anything he wouldn’t sacrifice to get his way. I know he doesn’t care about what’s right or what’s true. He just wants to own everything, control everything. And somehow, he always does.”
Rains watched as some of the light in Smythe’s eyes dulled and her face saddened. She needs to see another path. Rains squeezed her hands gently, bringing Bett’s eyes back to hers. “Private Smythe, regardless of what possessions your father may own or what persuasions he may be capable of, you must be guided by the spirit which belongs only to you.” Her voice softened. “That is the truest, most beautiful part of yourself, and that is where your strength comes from. In your mind you may know something, but in your spirit is where you completely understand it. Facts you may memorize and recite, but that ring of truth, that awareness of the connections between all things, that consciousness of your existence as a vital part of this world—that is when you are feeling your spirit. Don’t ever fear that someone can take that from you. You alone can decide if you wish it bought or sold. But I don’t believe that is who you are or what you would want. I think you will always choose to walk your own path in your own way and that you will remain free, as all good things are.”
Rains’s tone was so sincere and her expression so intent that for a moment, Bett couldn’t look away. The sergeant’s eyes were kind, gentle, and almost…sweet. She couldn’t recall anyone ever speaking to her about spiritual matters in this way and it drew her in, warmed her. Finally Bett looked back down. The sergeant’s hands almost swallowed hers but they were gentle and warm with long fingers that tapered gracefully, like a musician’s. The unexpected tenderness of Rains’s gesture made something inside Bett feel touched, softened. She couldn’t believe that she had talked so openly with this woman she barely knew, but it felt good to be honest about her feelings about her family, especially her father. She felt quite confident that her sergeant was not the type to go blabbing her business in the NCO club. Being with Rains does feel safe, she admitted. Remembering her dream, she took a deep breath and looked back up, wondering who Sergeant Rains was when she wasn’t being a sergeant.
Caught up in the moment, Rains had spoken of such private matters because she hoped to make Smythe feel less intimidated, less trapped by the situation with her father. By taking Smythe’s hands, Rains had wanted to move her away from what seemed to be her customary vision of herself as just one of her father’s pawns and to emphasize that the WAC could give her the means to make her own way in the world. But when Smythe looked up with a hint of tears in her eyes, Rains realized there was too much emotion between them—emotion that was touching her, too. At first she thought that what she had seen in Bett’s eyes were tears of laughter. But there was something else there, some deeper feeling that seemed to originate from where their hands were joined. Rains felt connected to the woman sitting before her with an intensity that was deep…and alarming. What am I doing? She released Bett’s hands and stood quickly, shifting her mind back to the Army way. You’ve said enough. Now back off, she told herself, checking one last time that the generals were not in sight. Right now.
After a few seconds more, Bett seemed to recover her composure. “Why, Sergeant”—her voice took on Charlotte Jackson’s Alabama accent—“what a delight to find that you are even more a philosopher than you are a literary scholar.” She held out her hand and Rains automatically helped her up. Bett brushed the grass off her skirt as she continued. “And so gallant. Dare I hope your kind words mean I might be among your favorites?”
She’s only teasing, Rains told herself, taking a breath. Don’t overreact. Girls like her have a name for this kind of talk. They do it all the time. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s only… She was taking too long to answer and Bett’s smile was widening. “There are no favorites, Private. I just take care of my squad members.”
Bett tossed her head as if she was not the least bit convinced. “Well, I will certainly take your wise words under advisement. But will you still escort me to the barracks?” she drawled, stepping back on the sidewalk. They started walking again.
“Yes, but I would prefer it if you were speaking like yourself again,” Rains bargained. Bett nodded, but it seemed a safe topic so Rains continued. “How can you take on someone else’s voice like that? It’s like you knowing where they come from. I still don’t understand.”
“You know how some people find it easy to recall things that they see? They can memorize images or poetry or street maps?” She smiled up at her sergeant. “Or quote readily from a favorite author?” Rains nodded slowly. “Well, I have something of an auditory memory. I can remember almost every voice, every accent, and every dialect I hear. It gets somewhat crowded in here.” She tapped the side of her head with a fist. “Reproducing a sound is just a matter of letting my mouth repeat what my ears hear when I think of that accent.”
Like imitating animal sounds when hunting, Rains realized, but much more complex because human voices were so varied. Smythe was looking ahead and Rains let herself admire the private for a few seconds. She’s not only beautiful, but also very clever. Even knowing that she was veering back into a personal matter, the sergeant let curiosity get the better of her. “So can you tell where I come from?”
Bett stopped. By then they were only a few yards from the barracks. “Not precisely, no,” she admitted, frowning slightly. “Sometimes I’ve thought Colorado, and sometimes Nebraska, but the cadence of your speech doesn’t really fit either one.” She looked at Rains full on. “Don’t tell me though,” she cautioned, finger up and almost touching Rains’s lips. “I want to figure it out myself.” Moving a half step closer, so that Rains froze from the nearness of her, Bett added, “I like a challenge, Sergeant. Don’t you?”
For a moment, all Rains could register was a slow smile that drew her in like an embrace and those shining blue-green eyes that were part water and part sky. When she made no response, Bett winked and walked on into the barracks. Rains cleared her throat and turned casually, going back toward her own quarters. Flirting. That’s what they called it.
*
The next Monday afternoon finally brought the class rotation that Bett had been waiting for. In no time, she was involved in discussion with the officer in charge of the wireless coding system, a Major Ervin. But rather than challenging him, Bett practically turned the class into a one-on-one training session. Even after the class was over, their conversation continued until Ervin said, “You should come see our facility here, Private Smythe. It’s in one of the off-base buildings in town that the Army has purchased. Do you have a car?”
“Sorry, no,” Bett said, pleased to be invited. “Are you too far to walk?”
“Too far to get there, see the place, and get back by dinner,” the Major replied. “I would take you myself but I have another meeting on the base in a few minutes. I could call my second in command, Lieutenant Foster or…” He looked out into the hall. Bett followed his gaze. Sergeant Rains was talking to an attractive auburn-haired woman in a captain’s uniform who was leaning casually against the wall. The conversation w
as obviously not military in nature; Rains was gesturing with big circles and the woman was smiling with genuine interest. Something in the interaction pierced Bett with a stab of jealousy.
Ervin was saying something. “Excuse me?” Bett asked and Major Ervin repeated his suggestion that her sergeant could drive her over. Bett turned back to him and smiled warmly. “What an excellent idea. Could I go now?”
“Of course. Lieutenant Foster can show you around until I get back.” Major Ervin walked over to Rains and Bett followed. “Sergeant Rains, could we have a word?” he asked. The redhead stepped away after giving Bett a quick glance. Ervin explained his request.
Rains looked a little concerned. “What time will she be through, sir?”
Bett’s jealousy flared again. She sounds as though she has important plans later. A quick look confirmed that the captain was lingering down the hall. Maybe even a date? Unexpectedly, Bett’s thoughts veered to questioning her sergeant’s social life. Perhaps the serious manner, her low voice, even her aversion to casual contact might all be explained if she were…
Ervin looked at his watch and replied that she should easily be finished before dinner. He added that he would call Lieutenant Foster, to have him ready to show Bett around until he returned.
Sergeant Rains nodded, saluted, and replied, “Yes, sir. I’ll get a Jeep now.” She indicated the door to Bett. “Watch for me here, Private.” Before she left, Rains looked back at the redhead and lifted her hand briefly. Bett noted that the woman watched Rains as she walked away before leaving by the other door.
When Rains pulled up in the Jeep, Bett made her wait until she saw Rains cut the engine and start toward the building before she walked out. “Sorry, Sergeant. I was in the restroom. I hope you weren’t waiting too long.”
“Hmm.”
As they left the base and headed toward the cryptography building, Rains glanced briefly at the sky, saying, “I’m sure you are excited for this visit, Private, and I know this is your area of interest, but I hope you will keep to the schedule Major Ervin indicated.”