Basic Training of the Heart

by Jaycie Morrison

  The lieutenant got up and came over. “You were in my class a couple of weeks ago, eh, Private?” she drawled.

  “Yes, Lieutenant,” Bett said pleasantly. “You did an interesting presentation.”

  “So, you thinking about munitions maybe?” the lieutenant asked, resting her ample hip on the edge of the table and leaning closer. “Would you like to see the rifle range?”

  Even though the question was completely reasonable, Bett had the distinct feeling the lieutenant was actually suggesting something else. Before she could respond, she heard Rains’s voice from behind her.

  “Private Smythe has a meeting with me this evening, Lieutenant Boudreaux. If she wishes to take you up on your offer, it will have to be another time.”

  “All right, Rains, all right,” Lieutenant Boudreaux said, getting off the table quickly and backing away a bit, waving her hands appeasingly. “Some other time, then?” she said to Bett.

  “Thank you, Lieutenant, but I’ve rather got my heart set on going into wireless,” Bett answered, turning to look at Rains. The sergeant was looking at Boudreaux with an expression so dark that Bett stood and put her hand on Rains’s arm to distract her. “Shall we go, Sergeant Rains?” That Rains didn’t even react to her hand told Bett that something was definitely wrong. Only after Boudreaux had turned and started back to her table did Rains’s eyes turn to Bett. She nodded and her expression relaxed. Bett left her food sitting on the table and they walked out, toward the parade grounds.

  “So tell me why I shouldn’t go to the rifle range with Lieutenant Boudreaux,” Bett asked lightly after they had cleared the crowds headed toward the mess hall.

  Rains looked at her with alarm. “I hope you are not considering that, Private Symthe.”

  Bett had to smile; Rains took everything so literally. “Not for a moment. But I would like to know why you so obviously dislike her.”

  “By my judgment,” Rains said after a brief pause, “Lieutenant Boudreaux is not a person of good character.”

  “In what way?”

  Now there was a very long pause. They had reached the parade grounds, but Rains kept walking. Bett followed, wondering if her sergeant was ever going to answer.

  Finally she looked at Bett briefly and spoke with an undertone of anger in her voice. “Lieutenant Boudreaux is a seducer of young women. I have come to know of at least three instances where this has happened or been attempted. The way I first found out was with a girl from my squad. This girl was genuinely interested in munitions so she had reason to spend time there, as when you visited the wireless facility, yes? She was also very young, barely twenty-one, and from a sheltered background. Boudreaux is in a position of power there, so I’m sure it was easy for her to…”

  Seeing the anger in Rains’s eyes, Bett nodded her understanding.

  They had reached a large grove of trees on the far side of the base. Rains stopped walking and faced Bett. “I wouldn’t normally speak of these things to a private, but she clearly had her eye on you after your class that day. You should know that she was also…uh…seeing another officer here, a good person who certainly had no idea of Boudreaux’s other activities.”

  Bett felt her own anger well up. “So why didn’t you report her? Or at least tell the other person what was going on?”

  Rains shifted uneasily. “There is an unwritten code between officers. We prefer to handle such things among ourselves whenever possible. But when I confronted Boudreaux about this, I made it clear I would turn her in if something like that ever happened again.”

  “So what happened with the girl from your squad?”

  “At first she was too upset or ashamed to explain what had happened,” Rains answered. “Her encounter with Boudreaux was not the way she would choose to be with someone.” She glanced at Bett again. “Do you understand what I mean?”

  Bett considered this. “Do you mean that she wasn’t homosexual?”

  Rains flinched a bit and Bett could see she was uncomfortable with the term. “Yes.”

  “But that’s not the point, is it?” Bett replied. “What happened wasn’t about sex, it was about power, and that makes it rape.”

  The sergeant nodded with relief. “Yes, I agree with you, but I’m not sure if the Army would see it that way. In any case, I had begun to notice changes in the girl’s behavior. She began to frequent the NCO club with a variety of escorts and was clearly drunk on several occasions. Her work and her appearance suffered. When I spoke to her privately, she finally broke down and told me everything. It took me a long time to convince her that what had happened was not her fault. Then I asked her if she wanted to press charges, but she was too frightened of Boudreaux and of an Army investigation. She asked me to just make sure that she didn’t have to go back to munitions, and we decided she might enjoy meteorology instead. She is doing very well there.”

  Bett was still angry. “But Boudreaux got away scot-free.”

  “In terms of official punishment, yes,” Rain replied, lifting her head just a bit. “But when I confronted her, I did so in the presence of many other officers. I believe her reputation here has been significantly affected. And it is my understanding that her…relationship…with the other officer also ended as a result.”

  “Good,” Bett said. Then she glanced warily at the trees. “So what are we doing here, Sergeant?”

  The area referred to as the grove by the WACs was a sizable corner on the far edge of the base that had been deliberately left in its natural state. There was little undergrowth, due to its occasional use for specialized training or even overnight bivouacs, but the good-sized shrubs and mature trees still lent a sense of wildness to the place. That feeling, plus its reputation as a place where illicit dates often occurred, made Bett wonder if she could possibly have misjudged her sergeant’s intentions.

  “I—I had planned…” Rains looked around and then flushed, clearly embarrassed. “But given our current conversation, I don’t think…” She paced in a quick little circle and then looked back the way they had come. “No. No, I think we can get back to the mess hall and still get dinner if we hurry.”

  Bett looked at her curiously, unused to seeing her sergeant so obviously rattled. “Whatever is the matter?”

  Rains ducked behind one of the trees and picked up a knapsack. “Let’s go back.”

  Bett crossed her arms. “No. Not until you tell me what is going on.”

  Rains sighed and looked restlessly from side to side, not meeting Bett’s eyes. “I had thought we might eat here where it’s quiet while we talked about the squad. It’s a nice evening and I like to be outside, so I brought some food. But having just talked about Boudreaux, I am seeing this idea in a different light and it doesn’t look good. I wouldn’t want you to think that I…” She let her gaze settle on Bett.

  Bett smiled. “Do you mean I might think that you are trying to seduce me, like Lieutenant Boudreaux would?”

  Rains glanced down for a moment, her uneasiness persisting. “After all, I am in a position of power over you”—she looked back at Bett with her almost imperceptible smile—“even though you often don’t recognize it as such.” Bett tossed her head. Rains’s voice grew solemn again and her expression uneasy. “But there have been other occasions where we have been alone together. Some evidence might suggest something inappropriate—”

  Bett cut her off. “Only someone who doesn’t know you would think such a thing, Sergeant. Under oath or otherwise, I would freely acknowledge that I am the one who has initiated what little physical contact there has been between us. You have been the model of military decorum, despite my occasional efforts to the contrary.”

  Rains looked down, feeling her face grow warm. It made her nervous when Smythe’s voice took on this flirtatious tone. It doesn’t mean anything, she reminded herself. It’s just the way girls like her talk sometimes.

  Bett continued, “And other than a brief visit by Colonel Issacson to the mess hall, after which you left and were seen by
others away from me, there is no evidence of our time together.”

  “Yes, well, I also wanted to thank you for not saying anything about the other night and the moon,” Rains added quietly, still speaking to the ground, conflicted about exactly what she meant by that statement.

  “So are you going to feed me, then?” Bett asked, hands on her hips in mock exasperation.

  Rains cleared her throat, knelt, and began taking things out of the knapsack. She spread a blanket, took out plates and several containers of food.

  Bett sat and let the sergeant serve her, smiling to herself about the irony of it all. Clearly she doesn’t realize how much I’d enjoy seducing her. With the protection of her rank and her formal manner, Rains always managed to keep just enough of a wall between them. Bett decided there was plenty of time later for her to plot about how to get that wall down. For now, she would just let the evening unfold.

  She looked at all the food. “Goodness, you must think you’re feeding the whole squad.”

  Rains ducked her head a bit. “Well, the other night I didn’t have much to offer you, and I’ve always believed that hospitality is very important.”

  “Did you fix all this?”

  “No, we don’t have kitchen facilities in the officers’ quarters. I do like to cook, though I don’t make anything fancy. A former squad member who works in the kitchen fixed this for me.” She picked up an apple. “I thought the fruit looked especially good. Would you like this cut?”

  Bett nodded and Rains reached around, pulling a knife from beneath the back of her jacket. It was a bright, broad blade, about five inches long with a beaded handle. Bett’s eyes widened. “Do you always carry that weapon with you, Sergeant? It doesn’t look like Army issue.”

  “Not always, but usually. And no, it isn’t GI. It was my brother’s and when I learned to use it well, he let me keep it. It’s good to have a knife in the woods and good to know how to use one when you are by yourself.” She finished cutting the apple.

  “So how would you use it if someone was sneaking up behind you?” Bett asked, still staring at the blade. Rains turned and with barely a flick of her wrist sent the knife flying into the trunk of a tree fifteen feet away. “Remind me to always announce myself to you,” Bett said faintly, as Rains got up to retrieve the knife. Bett watched as she smoothed back the bark after pulling out the blade and heard her say something softly before giving the tree a final pat. When she returned and sat, Bett cocked her head and asked, “What did you just do?”

  After a slight pause, Rains said, “I apologized for hurting the tree and sent it healing thoughts.”

  “Do you think the tree felt pain?”

  “Not in the way that we do, no. But at some primal level, I think all living things know when they have been injured. Therefore it is not our place to do so lightly. Thoreau said, The squirrel that you kill in jest, dies in earnest.”

  “And have you killed many squirrels?” Bett asked, half teasing.

  The sergeant grimaced. “Squirrel is not my favorite, but yes, I have killed some. For most of my life before the Army I hunted so I could eat and I have never taken a kill casually or without giving thanks for its life. To do so would be disrespectful of its spirit.”

  They ate in silence for a moment while Bett tried to imagine a life where you had to hunt each day or you would go hungry. She was genuinely intrigued by Rains’s experiences and was about to ask about her Indian background when Rains said, “Oh, I almost forgot!” and produced two miniature bottles of Coca-Cola from the knapsack.

  Bett laughed. “Where did you get those?”

  “Last year the Coca-Cola Company made their one billionth gallon of syrup and they sent out cases to different armed forces locations. We got some here and I’ve been saving mine for a special occasion.”

  “I’m very flattered, Sergeant. How am I your special occasion?”

  Rains looked a little uneasy again, but she nodded. “By my count you’ve gone an entire week without getting a demerit, something I never managed to accomplish. I think that’s worth celebrating.”

  “Well, I’m all for that,” Bett said cheerfully, “but did you bring a bottle opener?”

  Rains’s knife was still lying on her plate. She picked it up and pried the point under one of the bottle caps, steadying the bottle between her knees. The cap flew off as she flexed the knife and she caught it in her other hand on its way up.

  Bett shook her head, smiling. “Now you’re just showing off.” Rains looked away for a second and Bett thought she might be smiling, too.

  “Cheers,” the sergeant said after she had opened her drink, clinking her bottle against Bett’s.

  “Oh, we must have something more profound for your special occasion.” Bett thought for a few seconds. “Here’s to learning the ropes without becoming unraveled.”

  “Very clever, Private Smythe.” Sergeant Rains clinked again and took a small sip. Bett did the same. They were quiet for a moment. “I don’t really like Coca-Cola,” Rains admitted.

  Bett laughed. “Neither do I. Too sweet.”

  Rains reached back into the knapsack and brought out the thermos. “Tea, then?”

  “Lovely, thank you.”

  They ate quietly for a few moments, the silence easy between them. Why did food always taste better outside, Bett wondered idly, or was it the company? She let her gaze run over Rains’s long body, coming to rest on her face, before acknowledging to herself that Sergeant Rains really was her favorite person on the base. She was very fond of the girls in her squad and she knew they liked her as well, but being around Rains was different in a way Bett still hadn’t quite identified. Certainly there was a physical attraction, at least on her part, but there was also something else, something more. At times she thought there was a hint of her feelings being reciprocated, but the sergeant was so good about hiding her emotions that Bett wasn’t completely certain, an unusual experience for her.

  Just then, Rains looked over and Bett dropped her eyes. “Would you like something else?” the sergeant asked.

  Yes, but I’m not quite sure what. Relationship-wise, she’d begun her time at Oxford with women who were nothing but desserts—sweet, but not particularly substantial. She was just coming off her serious scholar’s ascetic diet of abstinence when she’d returned to Los Angeles. It had seemed that she was picking up with her previous tastes of uncomplicated sex and then she had joined the WAC and it was back to the diet. Smiling at her own mental metaphor, she concluded that Rains would probably be a full ten-course meal. “Not just now, thank you.”

  As the sergeant was putting away the plates and remaining food, she said, “I would like to ask you a question about your life, if you don’t mind.”

  Bett was surprised but replied, “All right.”

  “Was it hard for you to go away to school? To be so far from your family for so long?”

  Bett didn’t know what she’d expected but this wasn’t it. She gave the question some thought. “I’d have to say no, not really. Most of the families in our circle sent their children to boarding school, so it just seemed the normal thing to do. I never really got along that well with my family anyway, so it was probably a good thing we were apart for most of my life. The prep school I went to was excellent. I enjoy learning, and most of the teachers were intelligent, decent people who were genuinely interested in their subjects. And generally, the students were like me in most ways—girls from a certain class who were gone from their homes for an extended period, so we had a lot in common. By the time I got to Oxford, it was second nature to me to be away at school like that.”

  “But weren’t you ever lonely? Or sad?”

  “At times, of course. But it’s always been easy for me to make friends. I suppose you could say that I just created my own family wherever I went.” She smiled at Rains. “Rather like your Army life, wouldn’t you say?”

  “Hmm.”

  Bett arched her back, stretching. “I do hope to go back to England w
hen this war is over.”

  When Rains stood abruptly and held out her hand to get Bett up, she wanted to refuse. “We’re not going already are we?” Bett asked, reluctant for the evening to end.

  “No, we’re just moving,” Rains answered, repositioning the blanket around the trunk of a tree. “Sit there.” She pointed and Bett put her back against the tree. Rains sat alongside her, a quarter turn around the tree. Bett didn’t like it that she couldn’t really see Rains’s face, but their shoulders were touching very lightly and that was nice. It was almost dark; just a few streaks of color from the sunset remained. There was a light but steady breeze. Bett relaxed, happy to be there with Rains. She didn’t want to think about whether the sergeant had taken other girls here before her.

  “Why would you go back to England? Why not stay here?” Rains asked, continuing the conversation. “I don’t mean Iowa necessarily, but in somewhere in America. Don’t you consider this country your home?”

  “I think it’s because I’m more my own person in England. Anywhere in America, I just feel like my father’s daughter,” Bett answered. “You must have some experience of that, Sergeant. Isn’t it hard for you to go back home after being in charge of things here?”

  “First, I am not in charge of things here. I am a very small cog in a very big wheel.”

  “You’re in charge of our squad, and you command the whole platoon on the fitness drills,” Bett argued. “And you evaluate every recruit on the base.”

  “Only to a point. A great number of people are above me in rank and could overrule me on anything at any time,” Rains pointed out.

  “All right, if you insist. But when you go home—” Bett stopped. Quickly she turned toward the sergeant and took Rains’s left hand in both of hers. “Oh, I have a confession to make. Promise you won’t tell. After all, I have my reputation to protect.”

  “What do you mean? What…confession?”

  Bett could see by the sergeant’s worried expression that she was dismayed by the sudden turn in the conversation. And even more so that I’m holding her hand again, Bett suspected. She managed to keep a solemn expression as she brought Rains’s hand to her heart, causing Rains to blush again. When she spoke, she made sure to add some dramatic breathing effects so Rains could feel her chest rise and fall. “I’m giving up. Tell me where you are from.”