by Olivia Arran
“Myself.” He paused, looking like he would give anything to not continue, but he did, “my dragon.” Another pause, and this time it was his eyes that left mine. He took a deep breath, as though bracing himself. “He abandoned me after Astrid left.”
Chapter Six
Faye
Head spinning, I did what I did best—sorted the information out into relevant categories, assigning levels of priority while looking for connecting links. But I came up blank. “Your dragon abandoned you?”
A sharp nod.
“What does that even mean?” I spoke my thoughts out loud, not thinking about filtering them. This was too important to pussy foot around; he was opening up to me, something I’d been pestering him to do for days. Maybe I could help.
“You can’t fix me, sweetheart.”
“I wasn’t think—”
“Yes, you were. If we’re being honest with each other—brutal, I might add—then give me the courtesy of not lying to my face. You want to fix me. You can’t.” A shrug accompanied the words, a mask to hide his inner turmoil.
My anger bubbled up again. Something about this man just … riled me up, sparking emotions that were at odds with my usual calm outlook on life. Shoving my hands on my hips, I stared him down. “Don’t lie to me then. You’re acting like this doesn’t bother you one little bit. That’s crap—own it.”
“Touché, little spitfire. It eats me alive and spits me out a broken man. Fuck that, a ghost of a man.” Pulling away from the hearth, he straightened, towering over me, his eyes glinting with barely contained rage. “You couldn’t even begin to understand what it feels like to be a shifter that can’t shift.”
“So, you can’t shift.”
“Didn’t I just say that?” His voice came out on a hiss, as though by admitting his problem out loud, judgment would strike him down.
“You’re still the alpha of the Jewelcrest Clan, and still a powerful man.”
His laughter was low and hollow. “For how long? Once I’m found out then I would be challenged, the clan would come under new leadership, be absorbed into another, or be broken up into pieces. Either way, Jewelcrest would cease to exist as we know it.”
“Pretty much what was going to happen as the result of your gambling,” I pointed out.
“A misjudgment on my part.”
Clarity hit me. “You were trying to build the clan up, to make it invincible to attack.”
“Yes and no. I was trying to give myself a cushion to figure things out. Wealth solves a lot of problems.”
“But, Jewelcrest was already rich.”
“Not so, sweetheart. After my parents died and Astrid left, I discovered that things weren’t quite as comfortable as they had appeared. Astrid taking her inheritance with her had practically emptied the coffers. We were rich in land and valuable artifacts, but any money left was earmarked for clan business.”
“Like the village?”
Another nod. “Catch on fast, don’t you?”
This earned him a smack to the chest. “Try and control your urge to talk down to me, Bash.”
His grin spread, this time reaching his eyes. “Carry on like this and I’ll have to rethink my earlier assessment of you.”
I knew I shouldn’t ask. I knew that I was playing straight into his hands, but I couldn’t help it. “Which was?”
He leaned down, crowding me with his large, muscular body, his familiar scent tickling my nose and turning reasonable thought to mush. Reaching out, he fingered a stray curl, giving it a gentle tug. “That you were sweet and innocent.”
A strangled sound burst out of my mouth. “I don’t know what gave you that impression.” Unfortunately, my voice sounded all breathy and weak, not the sharp, snappy comeback I’d been aiming for.
“Don’t worry, you’ve educated me.”
What did he mean by that? “Astrid leaving really screwed you up, didn’t it?”
He flinched, his jaw grinding. “In more ways than one.”
“Does she know?”
His gaze lingered on me, then he strode over to the window. “No, and I would never burden her. This is my guilt, not hers.”
Giving him his space, I made my way over to the couch, settling down and tucking my feet up. “Because you didn’t stop her from leaving?”
His posture stiffened, and I wished that I could see his face. “Because I didn’t stand up for her when she needed me.”
“You were young—”
“I was the new Alpha; she was my sister. She ran—not only from the clan—but from me too. I failed her. There was no excuse,” he growled, his shoulders hunching and his hands hardening into fists.
He was hurting, but was too proud to ask for help. Or accept it. “You’re too hard on yourself.”
Minutes passed and I was starting to think he hadn’t heard me, then he rolled his shoulders back and made his way over to his usual chair. Gripping the tall back, he stroked a finger across the spotted fabric, tracing the raised bumps with a deliberate precision that hinted at his hidden turmoil. “Which box are you going to tick?”
Drawing my eyebrows together, I replied, “I don’t think that’s what we should be…” At the look on his face, my voice trailed off.
“You want to fix me, but you can’t. You can fix what’s wrong with my clan, though. Give me a chance to do right by them.”
And what about you? What will you do? The questions rested on the tip of my tongue, but I didn’t give them life. “You were never an addict, were you?”
He tilted his head, looking past me and over my shoulder. “Probably not, it’s hard to tell. I enjoyed the buzz. The high. I’m the kind of man who enjoys things that make me feel good. Is that enough of an answer?”
“Why did you pretend to be?”
“What should I have told Astrid? The truth? It was easier this way.”
“But … she could read your mind!” I blurted out. It was there, in the file. Astrid was a Seer—a green dragon—gifted with the power to read minds and see the future.
“What I wanted her to read. We’re siblings, cut from the same DNA. My dragon might have been silver, but I’m an alpha and her brother.”
Might have been. He’d already given up.
“Faye, you should know, I will do anything to protect my clan, including lying if I have to.”
“Is that all?” I injected a good dose of sarcasm into my voice, but underneath it all, I could understand. He’d do anything for those he loved, what more could anyone ask?
“Pretty much.”
“What would you have done with the money if you’d have won?”
He paused, as if not sure whether to share, but then his low voice filled the room, “Among other things, the clan needs a school for our children. At the moment all our children either bus to a neighboring clan, or are homeschooled. If I could provide a means for a stable education, future generations would be better equipped to deal with this new world that we live in. Families would grow and the clan could expand. Businesses would prosper because the workforce would be plentiful and innovative. The circle of life, sweetheart.”
His quiet statement rocked me in it’s simplicity. He had been looking forward, contemplating a future in which the clan members weren’t as reliant on the Alpha family as in olden times. Social and economic growth. I now knew exactly what to do with the small surplus of Astrid’s money that I hadn’t managed to allocate.
I leaped to my feet, nearly stumbling in my haste. I pointed a finger at him. “Show me.”
His eyes widened, then narrowed as a smirk spread across his face. “Sweetheart, you only had to ask.” His hands dropped to the waistband of his jeans.
I threw my hands up, squeezing my eyes shut. Though I did peek a fraction—I was only human, after all, and if he wanted to get butt naked for my benefit… Concentrate, Faye! “No! Not that,” I blurted out, all the while wondering why the hell I was stopping him. And, actually, why the hell his mind always seemed to circle back to s
ex! Not that I was any better. Visions of him naked and pinning me down were never far from my mind, along with a whole lot of licking. And kissing. And nibbling. Maybe even some sucking. Hmmm.
“Faye?”
“Yep?” I peeled an eye open. Damn, he was still dressed, one eyebrow hovering near his hairline. Yeah, I had a problem. A large, hunk of a problem.
That infuriating smirk still played on his lips, but underneath there was a certain … stillness. A predator awaiting his prey’s next move. “Did I misread…?” His hand gestured his groin area.
At least he didn’t stroke himself. I wasn’t sure I was that strong. “Yes.” Dammit! “Show me where you were planning to build the school.”
Bastian
Once again, she’d surprised me. Just when I thought I’d figured her out, she came out with something like this—demanding that I show her my vision.
Something I hadn’t shared with anyone else.
The evening clung to us as we walked down the lane toward the village, stars forming in the purple-black hue of dusk, the air cool and still as if awaiting our next move. Stones skittered and crunched under our feet, the odd chirp of a bird settling in for the night, an owl hooting in the surrounding forest filled the air. Tall trees reached up to the sky on either side of the lane, the branches forming a leafy arch in places and blotting out the civilized world.
We could have been anywhere, in any time period, had it not been for the fact that our legs were clad in denim rather than cloth, and the familiar weight of my cell phone in my back pocket.
Faye walked by my side, matching her steps to mine. Or had I matched mine to hers? Her breath puffed out, her cheeks tinted pink and curls bouncing back and forth.
If I could bottle a moment in time, this would be it. Walking through the forest with my mate, her presence soothing and calming my inner beast.
Halfway down the lane I turned, leading her off the beaten path and into the dense forest. Lush grass reached for our knees, branches swiping playfully at our arms and faces. Plucking one out of the air, I held it back for her, gesturing that she take the lead.
“I don’t know where I’m going.” But she brushed past me, branding me with her scent.
“You’ll know when you see it,” I forced out, curling my fingers into my palms and holding them there. No touching.
“Okay.” Her reply was a little dubious, but she moved forward.
Taking me at my word. Trusting me. Following me out into a dark, strange forest. A man she barely knew, one with questionable sanity, and a known liar. My feet ground to a halt, my legs refusing to carry me forward. Panic shot through me, circling around and around until I could barely breathe.
“Oh!” Her quiet gasp punched through the flurry of emotion that gripped me, breaking it’s hold.
Coming up behind her, I resisted the urge to slide an arm around her waist, to tug her back and tuck her against my chest.
She spun around, her face lit up with wonder. “It’s perfect!”
Looking over her shoulder I double checked that she was seeing the same thing I was. Yep. Long, barn-like building with a sagging roof and crumbling walls. “Perfect?”
Grabbing my shoulder, she tugged me forward with a strength that was astonishing for such a small package of gorgeousness. “For your school. I can just see it. We’d clear the front to have somewhere for the kids to play, obviously the roof would have to be fixed, but look at those huge double doors! And we could knock in some big windows, to give it some light. Can we go inside and have a look around?”
Her enthusiasm was infectious and I found myself grinning back at her. “Not unless you want to fall down some very big holes, the floor needs replacing too. Basically, it’s one long building at the moment, it was originally used as storage for farming equipment.”
She nodded, her grin still in place. “That’s why it looks like a barn.”
I reached up to where her hand still rested on my shoulder, sliding my fingers through hers in a gesture so natural, I didn’t realize what I’d done until it was too late. So I gave her hand a quick squeeze. “You said we.” Luckily, I managed to keep the longing out of my voice.
Her eyes widened, then narrowed so fast I almost had whiplash trying to keep up. “I can find you the money to finish this, I know I can.”
“Faye—”
“No. This time you’re going to shut up and hear me out.” She stuck out her bottom lip and locked eyes on me until I settled back into silence. “I’ve been allocating Astrid’s money to the estate and I have some left over that I couldn’t decide what to do with. I was thinking about funneling it back into the main house as I’ve noticed it could do with a little work, some repairs—”
“I don’t need—”
“And I haven’t finished!” Another glare.
My lips twitched, but I forced them back down into a straight line. “Please carry on.”
“Thank you. Right. As I was saying, I think I can carve out enough money to get this project started, though we’d have to ask the villagers to assist with manual labor. But if it’s for their children, I can’t see them minding helping out.”
I risked a breath, and when she didn’t bite my head off, I dared a complete sentence, “And the we part?”
“I’m the treasurer for the clan. I could stay and see the project to completion.” Her tone was light. Hopeful.
“Oh.” Disappointment crushed a hope I hadn’t admitted I’d been nurturing until right at that moment. That she’d stay for me, which was bullshit, because I hadn’t given her any reason to stay. And I didn’t want her to. If she stayed, there’d be love involved.
“Oh? Is that it?” She was doing that thing that women did, hiding a message within a question, one that—if a man valued his balls—he’d better answer. I’d had enough practice growing up with a sister, but I’d never perfected the translation.
“What do you want me to say?” Okay, I was going on the defensive. Not a good choice by the look of the clouds gathering across her face.
“Anything. Everything. Just not oh!” Her hand fell away from my shoulder. “If that’s all you’ve got to say then I’ll put the tick in the box and leave tomorrow.” Spinning on her heel, she marched past me, cursing at the forest and slapping branches out of the way. Though I was pretty sure they were recoiling from her in fright; nature battening down the hatches against the woman storming through their domain.
She was walking away from me. Storming off in a stroppy huff. And I didn’t have a clue what I’d done to set her off! I only knew that I couldn’t let her leave—didn’t want her to. I was a better man when she was around. “What do you want from me?” I roared, unable to hold back my frustration.
Spinning around, she brushed a twig out of her face, yanking at her hair when it refused to let go. “That’s just it, Mr. Bastian I’m-a-big-bad-alpha-with-a-million-problems-that-I-won’t-share Jewelcrest, you have no fucking idea, do you?”
The branch snapped back, nearly hitting her in the face, but she was long gone, running full pelt through the forest, the sound of her sobs tearing through the air and ripping out my heart.
Chapter Seven
Bastian
Wind slashed my face as I thundered through the forest after her. My heartbeat echoed in my ears as loud as a brass band up close and personal, her ragged sobs tearing through me and puncturing my soul.
She was hurting, because of me.
Unacceptable.
Agreed. My dragon’s roar jerked me out of the blind panic, his timing impeccable as always.
Go away, I sent back. This doesn’t concern you.
Silence. He had gone again. He had turned his back on me once more.
Meters in front of me, Faye lurched back onto the main path, turning up the lane and heading to the main house.
Putting on a burst of speed, I reached out for her, plucking her off her feet and crushing her against my chest.
Her legs kicked out, small fists beating at my c
hest, her ragged war cry of a squeal splitting my ears.
“Calm down!”
“Put me down!” We both spoke at once.
Her brown eyes flashed with fury, red-rimmed and wide, cheeks damp and blotchy. Leaves christened her lustrous brown curls, tangled and wild from her mad dash through the forest.
“If I put you down you’ve got to promise not to run.” A reasonable request.
“Why? So you can think of another excuse?”
“Excuse for what?”
Her hands hit my chest with a force that would have sent me reeling, if I was human, and if she wasn’t already clasped in my arms. “Us!” she shouted, her face close enough to my own that I could pick out the tiny gold flecks in her irises, the swirl as her pupils dilated into orbs, soaking up the fading light as night set in to stay.
I loosened my hold, letting her slide down my body, but I didn’t release my hold on her hips. “Us?”
Rolling her bottom lip between her teeth, her eyes darted away, blinking furiously as she took a deep breath. “You’re enough to make a woman think she’s going crazy, Bastian.”
“Me?”
“Master of mixed messages. You want me, so you kiss me. Then you don’t want me, and you stay away. Which is it?” She shivered under my hands, whether it was from the cool bite to the air, or my touch, who knew. I took advantage anyway, circling my thumbs up and under her top, chasing the goosebumps away.
“You’ve got it all wrong, sweetheart,” I finally offered. “Whether I want you or not, that’s not what you should be thinking about. You shouldn’t want me. I’m broken. I can’t shift. I’m worthless as a man.” Why she was even considering it…
“I can’t shift; I’m human. Does that make me worthless?”
I cursed under my breath, shaking my head vigorously as I searched for the right words. “No, but—” I needn’t have bothered as she cut me off anyway.
