by Love Belvin
nine
Ezra
“You’re not enjoying your engagement party, beloved?” I leaned over and whispered to Alexis, pulling her arm over to caress her wrist.
It helped me gauge her mood based on her pulse. It also was a method of seducing her.
Her eyes bounced up to meet my inquisitive regard. Then I followed her line of vision as it dropped and noticed it stopped where we were connected. In an instant, a pleased smile burst onto her face, but was quickly retracted and followed by the rolling of her eyes. Alexis was embarrassed by her reaction to me.
Oh, beloved, get over it.
Then her regard returned across the floral filled table and when I followed, I saw Rasul ordering another drink.
“I was just hoping he’d showed more decorum at the table with a Bishop and pastor.”
“Is that what’s had you so preoccupied during your engagement party?” I murmured. “If so, don’t be so concerned. My parents are aware of your father being of a different faith. And if it makes you feel any better, I’ve paid for this dinner, so the Bishop won’t have a reason to gripe.”
Alexis’ mouth dropped. “You paid for this?”
My lips pouted, bemused. “Yes.”
“This isn’t just any restaurant, Ezra. This is the Garden of LaChateau in midtown Manhattan,” she quantified with incredulity.
“Yeah…so?”
“So, this is where the mayor meets with his dignitary peers and where Kobe Bryant hosted his father’s birthday party last year. You can afford this?”
Her astonishment concerned me.
“Beloved, do you think I earn a Catholic priest’s wages living in a meager rectory? I can afford a small dinner party to celebrate my impending nuptials, Alexis.”
Affronted, her face was frozen with shock. “I’m sorry. I assumed you…”
“Assumed what? Just because my parents are so involved in the planning and expenses of the wedding, I couldn’t afford it?” I shifted in my seat to face her, still speaking at a volume meant for the two of us. I leveled my eyes with hers. “I earn well over six figures as an executive in the lab. I hold shares there, as well as in other investments. Though I recently, scaled back ninety percent of my clientele, I made a humble man’s salary counseling privately, which included two celebrity figures. I also have a trust fund that’s three times my annual salary I’ve set aside. You don’t have to be concerned with what I do for you. I do what I am able to do. Do you understand that, beloved?”
Slowly, Alexis nodded, lips still parted reminding me of my implausible desire for that part of her face alone. I had to turn my head to retrain my thoughts.
“I’m sorry. I’m just not used to this type of living,” she whispered over the music.
I grinned pointedly. “I’m sure it’s more than the weight of the receipt from this dinner that has you so disoriented this evening. You’ve hardly spoken to my mother and barely ate your dinner.” I gestured with my eyes. “Look at your dessert. It’s virtually untouched.”
“What are you two whispering about?” I heard from the right of Alexis. “It’s only been two days since you met and you’re arguing at your engagement party already?” Nyree spoke over us.
Alexis must have issued a warning glare because Nyree recoiled, and then Alexis turned to face me again. As she did, Nyree winked at me and pouted her lips. She’d been ogling me since she arrived with Alexis and Ms. Remah. She’d also been snappy with Alexis.
“That would be one reason,” Alexis rolled her eyes. “The other would be sitting across from me.” I knew she was referring to her father. “And yes,” she continued to whisper. “the grandiose air of this place is far beyond my norm. Hell, I would’ve been content with a BBQ in a corner of one of the acres on your massive property…a party of seven at Red Lobster, but this?” she sighed, eyeing the fine décor of the area.
The table was an artful display of aluminum, wood and glass under a tent made of tulle and lace. Hanging from the roof were crystal chandeliers decorated in white orchids and green foliage. Our table for seven was covered with a runner of white orchids and candles. The set up was pretty impressive. I could see how it could intimidate an unsuspecting person. On the contrary, it upset my mother that I opted for a small affair. She would have much preferred a feast for at least one hundred people. That was an intimate gathering to her. However, that would have been over the top for Alexis, who didn’t have many to celebrate such a milestone.
“Alexis, nothing you’ve named should get in the way of what your focus should be. We’re creating our own path. One that only you and I determine…our covenant. Is that understood?”
Again, with parted lips and hiked brows she nodded.
“Alexis, honey, the night is still young,” my mother noted from across the table. “Would you like to head over to Holly’s office and finish up the details of the seating chart and photography?”
“Oh…ummmm,” Alexis stalled. “I actually have to work tonight. In fact, I’ll be leaving shortly. I told them I’d be a little late because of this party.”
Work?
“Work? At this hour on a Saturday night?” my father echoed my sentiments.
I had to do something about this part time job of hers. She couldn’t be making much from it and now that she’d lost her primary income, it didn’t make sense to spare the expense of commuting for a few measly bucks.
“Yeah, I work at Saks…part time. And I need to go now before I’m too late.” She placed her napkin in her plate.
“I need a lift to Queens, Lex,” Rasul announced as he stood from the table along with her.
Alexis grimaced. “Daddy, I don’t have time to take you all the way to Queens. That’ll really make me late.”
“You taking Ms. Remah home? You can give me a lift, too,” Rasul argued like a toddler.
“Nuh, she ain’t,” Ms. Remah hissed and rolled her eyes. I could tell she was used to this role reversal in Alexis and Rasul’s relationship.
“Actually, I’m giving her a ride for Lex,” Nyree explained with obvious apprehension. “We should probably go.” She moved to leave the table, almost too quickly.
Ms. Remah took her time, nodded toward Alexis and me and said goodbye to my parents. Then she followed Nyree into the restaurant.
Immediately, Alexis looked frazzled. She had grown accustomed to taking on everyone’s issues. And while my first inclination was to solve the matter, I hesitated. I would not even begin the cycle of assisting Rasul in being an adult in any way after I’d gotten a dose of his nature the day I met him. I hadn’t whispered a word of his bragging to Alexis, neither would I. And neither would I enable him.
“Daddy,” she pleaded, appearing all of twelve years old, asking her father to throw her a bone.
“Fine,” he gritted. “You got some cash for me to take the subway?”
While Alexis dug in her purse, the area quieted. My parents were likely choking on culture shock. I couldn’t stand for this.
“Alexis,” I tossed my chin toward the doors leading inside the restaurant. “A moment alone.”
As we rounded the table, I caught a glimpse of Rasul’s heated glared directed at me. I ignored it and led her outside of their hearing range. I pulled a few bills from my wallet and handed them to her.
“You do what you need to with your father, but I have to say I’m not happy with you reporting to Saks after I asked you leave.”
“I couldn’t quit cold turkey. My last day is Tuesday. They were in a scheduling bind at the time I gave my notice!” she was virtually shouting, but I understood she was frustrated, overwhelmed.
I took a deep breath, needing to enact a cool head. I had to appear in control to calm her. Leaders mustn’t give in to the ill emotion of the atmosphere, but change it to command the respect of the subordinate and to earn their trust.
“Very well, beloved.” I backed out of her personal space so she wouldn’t feel affronted. “I’ve been meaning to confirm you’re in po
ssession of a passport.”
“Why?” She was terse, still rattled by earlier events.
Easy, Carmichael.
“For our honeymoon. I’m finalizing plans for it now.”
Alexis’ shoulders collapsed and her eyes did, too as she groaned. “I didn’t think about a honeymoon. How much is that gonna co—” She stopped at the flick of my brow. Then she straightened and swallowed. “Yes. I just applied for one a few months back for Nyree’s bachelorette party in September.”
“Very good. You’ll need it.” I reached for her hand. “Now, I know you have to leave. Please properly bid my parents a good night and I’ll see you to your car.”
At the door Alexis stopped and pulled on my arm. I turned to face her quizzically.
“He’s not much, but he’s all I’ve got in terms of family. He may have his issues…lots of them, but he’s come through for me in ways no one ever has when he was on steadier ground. I owe him a lot,” she whispered with pleadful eyes similar to what she’d given Rasul earlier. “So, thank you for this. And trust me: I understand that he’s my dad and not your problem.”
That sound acknowledgment soothed my concern of Rasul being an acute issue in our matrimony. I would under no circumstance aide an able body man who used his daughter chronically. Much of what made Alexis appealing for my needs was that she didn’t have a lot of people around influencing her.
“Let’s go. You’re late, beloved.” I took her hand again and stepped back into the Garden.
Lex
The door frame rattled from a violent slam.
“The fuck is her problem, yo?” Tasche hissed the moment my front door slammed.
It had been a stressful few weeks—hell, month! This wedding business was all consuming, and I hadn’t planned much of it at all, approved very little of the fine details. I shared no taste of the level of extravagance that the Carmichaels had. And though she was a sweet woman, Mrs. Carmichael had been quite pushy and aggressive with her ideas of her only child’s wedding day. I wasn’t paying for much beyond my hair, nails and feet. They even paid for my bridesmaid’s gowns, something Nyree made known she wasn’t picking up the tab for.
Speaking of her: she’d been bugging, tossing fits and tantrums just like the one she’d just had before storming out. Nyree didn’t want to stay at my apartment with me the night before my wedding. I didn’t care that she didn’t want to, but her snobbish attitude about not being in a hotel wasn’t called for. I explained to my four girls, Tashe, Ny, Lillian, and Anushka that I’d be staying at home the night before my wedding. Lillian was cool with it and opted to stay home and meet us at the hotel the next morning. Anushka decided to hang out with me a little tonight to pick up her gown that was altered. Tasche proposed she’d stay over, being the only one knowing why I opted to stay here tonight. Nyree swore she didn’t get the memo and came tonight thinking my place was the meeting point to drive to the hotel together. When I explained that wasn’t the case, she blew the hell up, adding to my stress.
“I’m gonna head out, whodie,” Anushka mumbled over a yawn.
I knew she was unaffected, relishing a moment of drama between black women. That made me smirk.
“Alright, Annie. I’ll see you in the morning, six-fifteen sharp.”
I walked her to the door, waving her off.
“Yo, something’s up with her,” Tasche noted, arms folded as she sat back on the couch.
“Who?” I mumbled exhaustedly, dragging my drained body farther into the living room. “Annie?”
“No. Ny, yo. I’m telling you, Lex, weddings brings out the bitch in some of y’all—”
I sucked in air, adrenaline running. “Me?”
“Nah. You been off for a few weeks, but not in a bitch way. Maybe you just been caught up in the love trap and that’s the difference in you. Her,” she referred to Nyree, “that bitch been on some other shit lately.”
“Yeah,” I sighed, lowering myself on the arm of my couch. That really bothered me. Nyree was growing more and more combative with me, and I didn’t understand.
My phone rang, sounding distant.
“Shit. That’s mine. Where is it?” I stood scanning the room before scurrying down the short hall.
“Hell if I know,” Tasche muttered after me, glancing around, too.
I found it on the bed.
Ezra.
“Hello,” I answered.
There was a brief delay before he hummed into the phone, breathily, “Beloved, I arranged for you to stay in a suite at the Waldorf Astoria. I’m told you won’t be arriving until the morning.” I covered my face with a palm, shoulders shrinking again. “Please tell me this isn’t a sign of cold feet.” His tone, lazy, subterranean deep, and as exhausted as I felt.
“No, Ezra,” I whined, exasperated by it all. “Please don’t give me a hard time about this. Nyree just damn near ripped the frame off my door when I told her.”
“Tell me not to worry and I won’t.” He sounded to have his lips directly on the phone.
That damn sexy ass beard.
I could see him in a corner like a dejected child, folded into a fetal position. My heart ached at that impossible, yet vivid vision.
“I grew up three blocks away from here,” I started. “One day, my mom and I were on the stoop outside of our apartment and a long white limo drove past and we saw the bride with a dress so poofy, you could see it from the window. My mother snapped moods. She was…instantly elated.
“Lexi, when you get married, you gonna drive past here and show off for your momma!”
She was so happy, she jumped up and down on the step like a kid. It’s one of my fondest memories of her. I just—”
“You won’t have your dress when you pass there in the morning.” He interrupted, voice a higher, revelatory, pitch.
“I know, but I can still pass on my wedding day before things get crazy.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? We could have arranged for you to get dressed and then be driven past there, even if you stayed at your apartment tonight.”
I exhaled. “It’s not that big of a deal. Besides, your family is paying for all of this grandioseness. The least I could do is not interrupt the flow for nostalgia. I don’t wanna be a bitch,” I explained with Tasche in mind.
Things got quiet. My eyes roved over my dark room, hardly illuminated by the street lights outside, dulled by my thin curtains. This would be my last night here. The place will belong to my father, barring any arrests in the near future. We’d come to an agreement that I’d cover the bills until he got a real job that would sustain him.
If only this were a perfect world.
Ughhhhh!
My life was filled with too many moving variables. I hated it.
Variable. That’s a word Ezra would use.
I silently giggled at that thought.
“I am going to be demanding. I will push. My actions will confuse you, likely frustrate you at times. However, I will be faithful to you, will take care of you, carry the load for you. I will be the one invariable you can count on.”
That wiped the grin from my face.
“Ezra…” I didn’t know what else to say beyond that.
What do you say when someone has just read your thoughts? Your fears.
“Good night, Alexis. I pray you enjoy your wedding day.”
Soon the line went dead.
Ezra
The keys of the piano trickled delicate notes as the rear doors of the sanctuary opened. There she was; veiled and sheathed in white lace all over. I felt my face contorted. Immediately, disappointment flared and just as harshly my heart beat in my chest. My need to see more of her grew inexplicably. I guess I was anticipating at least her eyes, but I hadn’t counted on the masking of her face. That sienna art that had become my favorite focal point.
She began her march toward me, tucked underneath her father’s arm. The slow, torturous ritual was now an annoying inconvenience. It wasn’t good enough, fast enough. Her gown,
perfectly tailored to stop precisely at the floor, over her five inch pumps, skirted on slightly with each step she advanced toward me. I could barely hear the lyrics, finally at a point of lost control. I’d woken up anxious about this day that served as a beautiful dream, one too ethereal to come true. I’d waited years to be bestowed this moment, sometimes pushed to an abrupt wakening covered in perspiration, desperate to see behind that veil. To see who God sent to fulfill His part of the bargain. Was she beautiful enough, had she an ounce of seductress in her eyes? Did she thrill me, inspire that flame beneath that I’d kept extinguished making my pledge to this day worth it? And more recently those nightmares starred her changing her mind the night before and not making it to this very place I stood, idly. Alexis had been too compliant with this entire idea. Surely she’d gain some reluctance somewhere along the way and change her mind, I feared. But she was here, with her indolent father, making her way to me.
As the duo belted the lyrics to “Make Me Like the Moon,” a song I’d strategically selected, I fought with every ounce of decorum I could muster as she rhythmically glided down the cathedral aisle. It could take her nearly the length of the five minute track—I’d timed it all—and that would no longer do.
Balling my flicking palms into fists, I took off down the aisle. Jaw tightened to the point of popping, I knew my mother was clutching her pearls, but I couldn’t rein my increasingly possessive need of this woman. There was no way I could wait through the entire processional to see her. I could hear the gasps and cautionary whispers of my name as I trekked toward her. I even caught the moment her step faltered, alarmed by my hasty onrush. On my way, I saw no one but Alexis.
Then I was a mere foot away and could recognize those devastatingly captivating russet orbs. In that moment they were laced with uncertainty. Her upper torso heaved with worry as did the sound of delayed breaths around the sanctuary. I couldn’t be less concerned. I needed to see her, to be reminded of the delivery of His promise. I didn’t regard her father, he was of no consequence to me and would be even less in a matter of minutes when she’d be pronounced mine.
My hands, acting on their own accord, pulled her veil over her head. The moment her mink skin came into view my lungs seized. But when her full shoulders and glowing gorgeousness were fully revealed, weighted relief descended upon me. She was real. He’d kept his word. I had my bride. Overcome with explosive liberation, literally feeling my purpose and passion coalesce, I took her at the sides of her face and pulled her to me. Our mouths centimeters away, her eyes still wild with a perfect balance of insecurity and wonderment, made me want to devour her in the middle of the parish and claim her properly as mine. But something…a hard resolve held me back.
