"Wow," David finally said after I was finished. "Part of me wants to tell you to cut your losses now and get the hell out."
"David," I pleaded. "Please don't say things like that. I won't do that. I love him too much to do that. It would destroy him."
"You don't know that," he argued.
"Yes, I do," I said sincerely, wanting him to know the depth of my feelings for this man, "because it would destroy me too." David placed his elbows on the table and rested his chin on his clasped hands with a deep sigh.
"He's the one, isn't he?" he finally asked in resignation.
I simply nodded my reply.
"I can't talk you into getting out?"
"I know you don't believe in this kind of thing anymore after what happened with..."
"We're not talking about that right now," David interrupted me with a glare, his mouth tightening in anger. I glared back at him. His vehement reaction was unexpected, but understandable. I let it go.
"Fine, we won't talk about you, but me leaving Jensen isn't and won't ever be an option," I continued, feeling angry now myself. David looked away first.
"I'm sorry, Syd." He sighed. "I'll help you any way I can, you know that." His anger slipped away, and he looked apologetic.
"I know you just want to protect me," I sighed, letting go of my own anger as well.
"Talk to him tonight," David suggested. "Tell him I need his help looking for a new car. It's the truth anyway. I need to get rid of that school bus of a truck. I'm free tomorrow, hell I'm not going back to work for two more weeks. Ask him to call me tonight or tomorrow, and we'll see what I can do to help him."
"Alright," I said with relief. "Thank you, David. You have no idea how much this means to me." I reached across the table and placed my hand on his. He placed his other hand on top, and our eyes met across the table. He smiled at me then, and I returned it with a sigh.
"You're welcome," he said. "You know I'd do anything for you. Now, let's eat before it gets cold, so I can get you back to work on time."
I nodded, and we spent the rest of our lunch chatting about a lot of meaningless things and reconnecting. I was so glad he was home. It was meant to be this way, that he would come home just when I needed him most. The universe was definitely looking out for me for once, and I was going to latch on and take full advantage of it. For the first time I felt like Jensen had hope for a normal future, a future with me.
"I'll have Jensen call you after I talk to him tonight," I told David as I climbed down out of his Expedition. He had gotten me back to work with a few minutes to spare before one o'clock. He looked over at me, noticing my pensive expression.
"It'll be alright, Syd," he reassured me with a gentle smile. "We'll figure this out, and he'll be okay."
"I hope so," I replied with a sigh.
"Call me if you need me."
"Bye, David. Thanks for lunch and everything else."
"Anytime." His smile widened, and I shut the passenger-side door. I watched him drive away then turned to walk into the building. I heard the beep of an incoming text coming from my phone. I stopped and dug it out of my purse, hoping it was from Jensen. I opened the message and stared at it.
Do you know what he was doing while he was drunk last Friday?
The phone number attached to it was unfamiliar to me. The words made no sense to me.
Who is this? I texted back.
Someone who thinks you should ask him who he hooked up with in a restaurant bathroom?
What are you talking about? I texted again and waited for a reply. I stared at the words in confusion. It must have been a wrong number. It couldn't possibly be about Jensen could it? A few moments passed and there was still no reply. I shook my head in irritation, walked through the doors, and went back to work.
I kept checking my phone for a reply for the next several hours, but I never got one. I decided it had to have been a wrong number, but then I remembered Jensen telling me the last time he drank was on Friday. I stopped short in the hallway I was walking down as the thought occurred to me, a sick feeling coming over me. Could he have gotten drunk enough to do something like that? Would he even remember if he had? Then I remembered Andy telling me Jensen had spent the night at his place that night. I breathed a sigh of relief. It definitely was a wrong number. I shook my head at my own stupidity. I guess having been cheated on before by Clay was making me paranoid. I needed to get a grip.
At five, I walked out of the building to find Jensen leaning against the side of his truck, waiting for me by the curb. A huge smile spread across his face as our eyes met and all thoughts of that ridiculous text flew out of my head. He looked so good as he walked toward me, his green T-shirt hugging his sculpted chest and shoulders, his jeans fitting snuggly to his muscular thighs. He looked like a wet dream to me, and he smelled even better as he wrapped his arms around me. I breathed in the perfect scent of Jensen and sighed into his embrace.
"Hey, baby," he said softly into my hair. "How was your day?"
"It was pretty mediocre until just now." I looked up at him, returning his smile.
"Mine, too," he agreed and nuzzled his nose against mine. How could I have doubted this man for even a moment? "I missed you so much, baby." His voice was filled with an almost desperate longing that I understood completely.
"I missed you, too," I said and pulled his head down to press our lips together. He pulled away after a soft almost chaste kiss.
"Do you want me to take you to dinner before we go home?"
"Yes, please." I realized I was starving. At lunch, I had been so preoccupied with my conversation with David that I had hardly touched my food at all. He pulled out of my arms and led me by the hand to the passenger side of his truck to open the door for me. I climbed in, shut the door, and then watched him walk around the front of the vehicle, his eyes never leaving mine until he climbed in next to me.
"What would you like to eat?" he asked as he buckled his seatbelt.
"A cheeseburger sounds really good right now," I said with a deep sigh of longing.
"Is that code for an orgasm now?" he asked with a smirk, referencing David's comment from last night.
"I'd like to have both, thank you very much," I said with a wink.
"I think that can be arranged." He smiled wickedly as he slid his hand slowly up my thigh.
"Hey," I said as I stopped his hand halfway up my leg. "None of that until I get my cheeseburger."
"David's right, you are the fun police," he said with a mock glare and humor dancing in his eyes. His casual mention of David's name made me feel better about the possibility of them becoming friends. Maybe David would be able to help him after all. It also gave me the perfect opening to mention David needing his help looking for a car.
"Speaking of David," I said, noticing a brief tightening around his eyes as I spoke David's name. It made me start to wonder if David bothered Jensen more than he was letting on. "He wants to get a new car, and I told him you might be able to help him find a good one."
"I guess I could help him do that," Jensen said with reluctance in his voice.
"You don't have to if you don't want to," I said, my disappointment coloring my words even though I tried to hide it. "I was just hoping you guys could be friends."
"Hey," he said as he grabbed my hand, his face apologetic. "I'm sorry. I'm just having a hard time getting used to your best friend being a guy. I'll do it."
"Are you sure?" I asked him hopefully.
"I am. You know I'd do anything for you, baby."
"You'll see. David's a good guy and a good friend," I reassured him. "I told him that you would call him tonight or in the morning to set something up for tomorrow."
"Okay." He smiled and kissed my hand. "Let's go get you that cheeseburger, so I can give you that other thing when we get home," he said with a salacious grin as he let go of my hand, put the truck in drive, and pulled away from the curb.
Jensen took me to a local tavern that he assured me was re
nowned for its burgers. It looked like a total dive on the outside, but I noticed the inside was clean and well maintained with relief as we took a seat in a booth in a quiet corner near the bar. The waitress showed up immediately, and I decided a beer sounded great. Jensen ordered a Coke. She left to let us look over the menu. I looked at Jensen over the top of my menu surreptitiously. His brow was furrowed, like he was deep in thought about something, his lips pursed together.
"What are you thinking so hard about right now?" I asked him as I cocked my head to the side. He looked up with an almost annoyed expression and met my eyes.
"What are you talking about?"
"Something is bothering you. I can tell," I continued. "Is it about David?"
He closed his eyes and sighed. "I'm just stressed out about work." He didn't offer anymore clarification, and I sensed he wasn't being honest with me, since he wouldn't meet my eyes and continued looking at his menu. I felt frustration filling me as I continued looking at him. What was going on with him today? Between his weird behavior this morning and now this, I was getting annoyed.
"That's a bunch of bullshit," I said in irritation. His eyes finally came up to meet mine again. "You've been acting weird since this morning."
"Can't I have a bad fucking day without having to fucking talk about it?" he asked angrily as he glared at me, laying his menu down with a thump. I was taken aback by his words, and it felt like a punch to the gut. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes as I looked down at my menu and pursed my lips together to try to fight them. The waitress picked this unfortunate moment to return to take our orders. I sucked it up long enough to mumble out what I wanted, then listened to Jensen place his order in a subdued voice as I stared down at the table.
There was a long moment of silence after the waitress walked away before I finally looked up again. He sat across from me, his head down with a hand covering his eyes and his fingers rubbing his temples. He seemed to sense my eyes on him, and he looked up at me with remorse in his eyes.
"I'm sorry," he said with a deep sigh. "I don't really know what my problem is today." His eyes looked sad and lost as they pleaded with me to forgive him.
"It's okay," I whispered, feeling several tears fall from my eyes.
"Baby, it kills me when I make you cry," he whispered. He stretched his hand out towards me across the table. "I'm so sorry." I reached for him, and he clasped my hand tightly in his.
"I forgive you," I told him as I squeezed his hand in return. He closed his eyes for a second, and his body relaxed with relief.
"I'll make it up to you later; I promise," he said as he rubbed his thumb gently across the back of my hand. "I love you, baby." His sad eyes were so sincere.
"I love you, too," I answered him, feeling worried about him again. At that moment, I wanted to tell him that he desperately needed help, wanted to tell him that David and I could be that help, but I was a coward. He had the power to hurt me so easily. If he got angry with me again right now, I didn't think I could handle it. I suddenly just wanted to go home. I wanted to let him wrap himself around me, so I could feel safe and loved. I just wanted to pretend everything was fine, and that we would be okay. I fought the tears that wanted to fall again as fear for him and for us rose up inside me.
The waitress brought us our food then and Jensen released my hand, so she could set our plates in front of us. It looked delicious, and I was grateful for the distraction from my unhappy thoughts. We ate in silence while I tried to let go of my fears and insecurities, latching on to the hope that David could somehow get through to him that he needed help, and it didn't mean he was weak to need it in the first place. He smiled at me between bites, and I smiled back, but I could feel a distance between us that hadn't been there before. I wondered if it was because of his unwillingness to share with me or my cowardice keeping me from pushing him to do it. Hell, it was probably both.
When we got back to Jensen's place, he led me by the hand silently into the living room. He sat on the couch and pulled me down onto his lap. "I'm sorry I made you cry," he said quietly and held me tight, my head tucked under his chin. There was a desperation to his words and the way he held me, like he was trying to keep me from leaving him. I wanted to reassure him that I wasn't going anywhere.
"Please make love to me," I pleaded in a quiet shaking voice. "I need to feel you."
His hand fisted in my hair and pulled my head back. I met his eyes and saw the need in them, laced with the same sadness that they had this morning as his eyes traveled around my face. He pressed his soft full lips into mine, his kiss gentle but insistent. I wrapped my arms around his neck and opened my lips to let his tongue into my mouth, moaning as he began kissing me deeply. A wave of love and longing swept through me, leaving me wanting and breathless for him. We needed this, needed to feel connected, needed each other.
He pushed me back into the sofa, following me as we continued kissing, his hand still twisted in my hair. His other hand slid down my body, and over my ass until he pulled one of my legs up, so he could press his erection against my groin. His breathing was harsh and heavy as his pelvis ground into mine. The kiss went on and on as our lips and tongues danced together. I was starting to feel lightheaded from the pure pleasure of it. He tasted and felt so good.
His hand released my hair, and he started frantically pulling my shirt up my torso. I raised my arms above my head, so he could pull it off of me. He pulled my bra off and latched onto my right nipple with his lips, a low feral growl escaping them. I arched my back, offering myself up to his ministrations, moans pouring from me as the pleasure shot from my breast down to my core. I ran my hands through his hair with gentle fingers, loving the feel of his mouth on me.
I gasped at the sudden delightful pressure of his teeth biting my nipple with just enough pain to send a shock of desire firing through my body. I writhed against him and pushed his head down toward my pelvis, needing his lips and teeth somewhere else. He moved himself down my body, untied the drawstring of my scrub pants, and yanked them down. He removed my shoes and pulled off my pants and panties, throwing them aside. He lifted my body and turned me until my ass was on the edge of the couch cushion. He knelt down, his eyes staring up at me from between my legs, his mouth hovering mere inches from my aching wet core. He breathed in and out slowly, his eyes fluttering closed as he took in my scent. "You smell so fucking good," he whispered, his breath skating across my clit and making my hips buck into the air toward him. He gripped my ass in both hands and lifted me up to his mouth.
I gasped as his tongue pressed down onto my clit, the sudden pleasure surprising me. He swirled it around and around on my clit until an orgasm burst out of me, making me wail loudly. He attacked my clit with his tongue and teeth before I even had a chance to relax. My body shuddered at the sensations, and I climaxed again, screaming his name and panting for air.
"It's too much, please!" I moaned as everything started to feel overwhelming. He paused, and began licking my entrance with slow leisurely strokes of his tongue, lapping up my pleasure with low hums that vibrated against me, making me groan. He raised his head and stared at me, his eyes filled with an aching need. He began kissing his way up my body, from my inner thigh all the way up to my neck. It felt like fire blazing across my skin. When his lips finally met mine again I was ablaze with wanton desire.
"Please," I begged against his lips. I needed us to feel connected once again, to erase the distance that was stretching wider between us. I practically sobbed as I begged for it again. "Please, I need you inside me now."
He abruptly stood and stripped out of his clothes, his eyes never leaving mine. My own desire was reflected back to me in his fierce green eyes. He climbed onto the couch, kneeling between my open thighs, his erection like steel as I gripped it in my fist pulling him where I needed him most. He offered no resistance as I pulled him toward me and rubbed the head of his cock up and down through my soaking wet folds with whimpers of desire. His eyes hooded over and his mouth gaped op
en with a low moan when I pressed the tip into myself. He shifted his hips and thrust into me with a deep groan.
"Yes," I sighed as I tilted my hips to coax him even deeper inside me.
"So fucking good," he moaned then kissed me again, his body pumping into me with slow measured strokes. His hands tangled into my hair as he kept his lips on mine, kissing me repeatedly with deep lush strokes of his tongue. "I love you so much, baby. I need you. I can't live without you," he whispered against my parted lips. I felt several drops of wetness hit my face, and I opened my eyes to find Jensen crying as he made love to me. His eyes were locked onto mine and for a fleeting moment, I thought I saw pain and fear flow across his face. I cradled his face in my hands, wiping the tears from his cheeks with my thumbs.
"I love you," I told him with everything I had inside me. "I love you so much it hurts." I felt my own tears start flowing from my eyes. "You're everything I ever wanted or needed." The words tore out of me with a harsh sob. I felt an orgasm starting to build slowly and surely deep inside me. Jensen pushed deeper and deeper with every single thrust as his mouth devoured mine again.
"I'm so close," I moaned between kisses. "So close."
"Wait, baby," he growled. "I'm almost fucking there." His hips moved faster, grinding back down into me with every stroke, hitting that perfect spot inside me each and every time until I couldn't stop my release from exploding out of me.
"Oh, God. Oh, God!" I screamed. "I can't stop it."
"Don't," he growled as I felt his body tense with his approaching orgasm. "Come, baby. Come now."
My pleasure tore out of me from the inside out, coursing through me until my body writhed uncontrollably underneath him. Jensen's body convulsed against mine as he spilled his release inside me. I could feel his cock throbbing as he shouted my name, his head arching back with abandon. I dug my nails into his shoulders and screamed along with him as we both climaxed together, each of our pleasure indistinguishable from the other.
Let Me Save You Page 11
