A moment later, she carried our plates over to the table and set them down. I was staring at the food, realizing how hungry I was and looking forward to tasting it, when I noticed she was staring at me.
"What?" I asked as I looked up at her disapproving gaze.
"Are you really going to eat with no shirt on?"
"If it makes you feel better; you can take yours off too," I suggested with a wry smile.
"I am not eating topless." She shook her head at me, looking exasperated.
"Why not?"
"It's too distracting," she explained. "Do you think you could eat if I sat across from you like that?"
"You raise a very good point," I conceded, still smiling at her.
"Could you please put a shirt on?" she asked pleadingly.
"Oh, alright," I said and stood up to go get a clean shirt out of my bag by the door. "I'd hate to see you starve to death because of my fucktastic abs." I grabbed a black T-shirt out of the bag and slipped it on. "Better?" I asked her as I sat back down, and she nodded with a grateful smile. I reached across the table toward her and squeezed her hand when she placed it in mine. Her face softened as I gazed at her longingly for several long moments.
"You know it'd be easier to eat if I had both hands free," she said in amusement.
"You raise yet another good point." I released her hand reluctantly. "Let's eat, baby."
We ate in comfortable silence, and I realized my earlier darkness had just faded away, chased off by the love of this breathtaking woman. This woman who was now my everything, and I couldn't live without her.
Several hours later, we were curled up together on the couch watching the end of a movie. We had been so full after eating that any after dinner "funny business" had to wait. Thankfully, just being with her was something I enjoyed almost as much. I sat on one end of the couch with Sydney resting her head on my thigh facing the television. I absentmindedly ran my fingers through her hair and down the side of her face.
As the credits began to run on the screen, I thought that Sydney had fallen asleep since she was so quiet and still. I was thinking I'd have to carry her to bed soon, when she sat up and sat cross-legged on the sofa facing me. Her eyes were earnest as she looked at me.
"Did you want to talk about anything?" she asked as she placed her right hand on my thigh. I'm sure she had left the question vague on purpose, not wanting me to feel pressured about what I chose to share with her. I pursed my lips, considering what to say. For once, I honestly didn't want to say no. The revelation shocked me. Maybe our relationship wasn't as precarious as I thought it was, and I could do this without fear of burdening her after all, but the weight of her eyes on me made me clam up. After several long moments, a look of disappointment crossed her face, and she laid back down with her head on my leg. I felt the guilt building inside me at her obvious dissatisfaction with me, and I didn't want to feel that way again. It was just the impetus I needed to speak.
"When you told me about your fight with Lauren, it struck a nerve," I said softly. She nodded without moving, somehow sensing that not looking at me helped. "I don't ever want to be a burden to you." Her hand squeezed my leg comfortingly. "It would kill me to do that to you."
"Jensen," she said as she rolled onto her back to look up at me. "Helping you will never feel like a burden to me. I want to help you. I need to help you. Watching you suffer with everything you're going through, that kills me," she explained as I traced a line down her cheek with my fingertips. "If I can help you through it and make sure you're not alone in this, then I've taken care of you like I need to."
"But at what cost to yourself?" I asked.
"Baby, I love you and helping you doesn't cost me anything."
"I...I sometimes can't help but feel that you'd be better off..."
"Stop," she interrupted me harshly as she sat up and faced me. "Don't you dare finish that sentence. It's utter fucking bullshit. Don't ever say that." Her vehement reaction startled me. "Last week without you was one of the worst weeks of my entire life. I'll always be better off with you. Just like you're better off with me," she continued her voice breaking with emotion. "Right?"
"Yes," I whispered as a wave of overwhelming emotion suddenly threatened to unman me. I didn't think it was possible to feel this powerfully about another person. I loved her so much that just the words weren't enough anymore.
She rose up on her knees and leaned toward me, pressing her warm soft lips to mine. Her kiss was slow and passionate, everything she was feeling flowing into me and filling me up, making me feel almost whole again for just a moment. I couldn't stop the tears that began falling from my eyes. She cradled my face in her hands and kissed them all away, banishing the darkness inside me.
"I love you, Jensen," she said, tears flowing from her eyes now. "You will never be a burden to me, never."
"I love you, Sydney," I told her hoarsely and pulled her into my arms. I sat there holding her for what felt like hours, unable to speak. She was my anchor, my lifeline, my everything, and I never wanted to let her go.
"Take me to bed," she whispered. "Make love to me."
I scooped her up in my arms as I stood and carried her to her room, holding her tightly. I let her down to stand in front of me next to the bed and took her clothes off, drinking in the sight of her as each piece of clothing I removed slowly revealed her gorgeous body to me. When she was finally nude, I let her undress me, shivering whenever her fingers grazed my overheated skin as she pulled my clothes from my body. I wrapped myself around her then, skin to skin, and kissed her lingeringly, tasting her, feeling her. A rush of euphoria surged through me. I'd never felt anything like it before. I lowered my hands to her ass and thrust my erection against her belly. She moaned into my mouth, making me growl in response. I pushed her back toward the bed then lowered her onto her back onto it, following her down and laying on my side next to her.
I took a moment to drink her in, my eyes studying every inch of her, from her flawless face, passed the soft curves of her hips, and all the way down to her perfect feet. "You're so beautiful, baby," I said breathlessly as my eyes came back up to meet hers. Her dazzling gray eyes were soft and hooded, and filled with desire for me. It took my breath away, and I could feel my heart pounding inside my chest.
"Kiss me again," she said softly. I gave her what she wanted, gliding my lips against hers, letting our passion burn as it slowly rose higher and higher. I slid my hand down her body, feeling her quivering from my touch. My fingers grazed across her sex, and I gasped at how wet she already was. I couldn't wait any longer.
"I need you," I groaned in desperation. "I have to be inside you." She spread her thighs at my words, and she offered herself to me as a needy whine escaped her lips. I shifted my hips between her legs and slowly pushed myself inside her, the warm tight wetness nearly undoing me as I filled her completely. "So tight, so good," I whispered against her lips and watched her eyes roll back in ecstasy. I began thrusting slowly in and out of her as I kissed her again, feeling euphoric from the dual sensations.
"Oh, Jensen," she moaned into my mouth as I felt her shatter, her insides clenching down hard around my cock as her back arched up toward me. I let out a stuttering gasp of air as her insides rippled around me.
"Oh, fuck," I groaned as I grabbed her hair in my hands and continued moving inside her, intent on sending her over the edge again. A few moments later, I could hear her breathing catch, and I knew she was close again. "Come again, baby." This time she wailed in pleasure, her pussy clamping down so hard that I couldn't help but follow her over the edge. My own release blasted through me and ripped me apart in its wake as the waves of her climax milked my cock inside her. Our bodies shuddered and quaked against each other until the storm had passed, leaving us both gasping and clutching to each other desperately.
"Sydney," I whispered her name, filling the word with everything I was feeling. I pulled out of her, then gathered her into my arms with her back against my chest. She let
out a deep sigh of satisfaction as she snuggled into me. A few moments later, she drifted into sleep, and I was left feeling calm and centered. It was the closest I'd felt to normal since my life fell apart that horrible night almost three months ago. If this was what it could feel like after I talked to her about my fucked-up head, I'd gladly suffer through the pain to get to this every time.
CHAPTER TEN
Sydney
"Do you want to go out with Andy and Lydia tonight?" Jensen asked from my bathroom doorway, his hands gripping the door frame above his head as I put on my makeup. He was dressed only in jeans, and I found myself distracted by the flexing muscles of his arms, shoulders, and chest. Damn, he looked like a wet dream come to life, and I didn't think I would ever get tired of admiring his gorgeous body.
"Where are we going?" I asked when my eyes finally made it up to the knowing smile on his face. As always, he knew how his body effected me.
"It's funny you should ask," he answered with a slow smile as he lowered his arms and walked toward me. "It's the same place that I met the most beautiful woman in the world three weeks ago."
"Oh, yeah?" I asked with a huge grin as I placed my hands on the hard muscles of his chest. My thoughts turned to the first time I laid eyes on him and how I had instantly wanted him. "Do you think she'll actually go home with you this time?"
"I'm counting on it," he growled as he pulled me closer with his hands on my hips and leaned down to kiss me. His eyes were dark and filled with carnal promises. His lips felt soft and warm as they moved on mine, his tongue brushing across my lips once before he pulled away. "Do you want to drive yourself to work or ride with me today?"
"Well, I need to run some errands after work, so I think I'll drive myself," I answered, noting the slight disappointment that ghosted across his face. What he didn't know, was that I was stopping to buy food so that I could make him breakfast tomorrow morning. "I can meet you at your place afterwords though." That seemed to mollify him a little.
"I should be home around five thirty," he replied. He pressed a quick kiss to my lips and left the bathroom, heading down the hall and disappearing into my room, but not before I got an eyeful of his incredible ass.
A little while later I walked into the living area to see Jensen fully dressed and finishing off a glass of orange juice by the refrigerator. I walked into the kitchen area and took the glass from him, rinsed it out, and set it in the sink. I turned to face him, wrapped my arms around his neck, and pulled his lips down to mine for another kiss. He tasted like oranges, sweet and tart.
"I think I'll head out now. I've got a lot of shit to get done today," he said as he smiled down at me.
"Promise you'll miss me?" I asked as I returned the smile.
"I always miss you, baby," he replied and hugged me so tight that my breath was squeezed out of me with a grunt. He gave me a quick peck and let me go, swatting my ass as he walked away. "Have a good day."
"I love you," I called out as I watched him.
"Love you, too," he responded as he grabbed his bag of clothes and headed to the door. He turned to look at me, a huge grin spreading across his face, and then left. I smiled at the little domestic scene we had just shared, thinking maybe moving in with him sooner rather than later wasn't sounding that scary anymore. Lauren would be mortified by that thought. I pursed my lips as I thought about the fight with my sister yesterday. I was still angry at her, especially after Jensen's reaction to the reason behind our fight. On the upside, he had actually told me how he was feeling about it, instead of letting it eat him up inside, but that didn't mean I was ready to forgive her just yet.
I ate a quick breakfast then headed back to my room to pack a bag for the weekend. I intended to spend all of it at Jensen's place. Hopefully, we'd spend most of it naked. It took a little time to pick out something for tonight as well, since I wanted to look really hot for him. I was just about to leave for the day when I got a text from David.
Want to have lunch today?
Yes, please. I replied eagerly. I really needed to talk to him.
Noon again? I'll pick you up at work. .
See you then. I sent back and gathered my stuff and headed out the door.
Work was busy, and the morning flew by. The next thing I knew it was noon and time for my lunch with David. I had just walked out the front doors to wait for him, when this beautiful black Audi pulled up to the curb in front of me. The passenger window whirred down, and I was surprised to see David's face smiling at me from the driver's seat. He really looked good today in a white T-shirt and jeans.
"Hey, sweetheart, going my way?" he asked with a smirk.
"Oh my God, David!" I exclaimed. "This thing is gorgeous."
"Hop in," he said. "It drives even better than it looks."
I opened the door and got in next to him. The gray leather interior was flawless and smelled phenomenal. I put my seatbelt on as I admired the car. David put the car in drive and pulled away from the curb. He was right; it was like riding on a cloud.
"How do you feel about pizza?" he asked me.
"That sounds great."
"Good, I've been dying for pepperoni," he said with longing.
"Did Jensen help you find this?" I asked, as I ran my hand along the supple leather of my seat.
"Yeah, he took me to Purcell Auto," he explained. "His friend Andy found it for me."
"Isn't Andy a riot?" I asked. "I love that guy."
"Yes, he is," David said with a wry smile. "He seems like a good guy too."
"Oh, he is," I assured him. "He's a great guy."
"We hit it off well," David said. "I could see us being friends."
"Good."
"I also met his sister," David said in a suggestive tone.
"What have you done now?" I asked him with a suspicious glare.
"Nothing...yet." He winked at me.
"You've turned into such a man whore," I laughed.
"Hey, I resemble that remark," he replied with a snort. I rolled my eyes at him and dropped the subject, knowing if I kept giving him crap about it, he'd probably get angry. There was nothing like a nasty broken engagement to turn a man against any serious relationships. I couldn't blame him really, I just didn't want him to get into any trouble. I knew from experience that a bunch of random hook ups never solved anything and usually left you feeling empty and alone afterwords.
"Is Jensen doing alright?" he asked curiously. "How did it go with him the night before?"
"Well," I sighed. "We had our first fight."
"What was it about?"
"I told him that I asked you to feel him out about getting help for his PTSD," I answered sheepishly, still feeling guilty every time I thought about it.
"I take it that he didn't respond well to that."
"He accused me of manipulating him, and he's right. I did," I admitted. "I'm sorry we even tried that stupid scheme."
"It wasn't stupid, Sydney, just poorly executed and that's all on me," he reassured me. "I basically blindsided him and sent him into a tailspin. I didn't realize how bad his PTSD was. He hides it really well."
"Yeah, he's way more functional then I ever was, and I didn't realize how bad it was for a while either."
"I assume you guys worked it out," David said.
"We had some yelling, some swearing, and some stomping around, but it ended in some really good make up sex," I said, winking at him as he shook his head and rolled his eyes.
"Is he going to let anybody help him though?" David asked, his tone turning serious. "That panic attack was pretty bad Syd, and you should have seen the look of shame on his face when he came out of it. I doubt he'll ever confide in me about anything now."
"He said he wouldn't talk to anyone but me, David." I immediately expected him to tell me that was a horrible idea, but instead he merely pursed his lips in thought for a moment.
"Hmm, that's not a bad idea," he conceded. "He obviously trusts you after all. Not to mention you've been through all this yoursel
f."
"That's basically what he said," I said uncertainly.
"But you're not sure that you're up to the task." He glanced over at me, his eyes filled with understanding.
"It's just so much pressure. What if it's more than I can handle?" I felt tears stinging my eyes. That's what I was really afraid of. What if I made things worse for him?
"Hey, I can be your sounding board," he reassured me. "I can answer any question, give you advice."
"I don't know, David," I said sadly. "He was pretty pissed that I told you about the accident, let alone that he's messed up from it."
"He's going to have to understand that you're going to need some help, even if it means you having to talk to me. I have experience with this, and I won't talk about it to anyone but you."
"Okay," I said, but I wasn't particularly okay with sharing Jensen's personal stuff with David, and I didn't want to talk about it anymore. Jensen was a very private man, and I didn't want to risk making him angry with me again.
"Have you gotten him to open up to you about anything yet?" David asked.
"A little," I answered, but didn't elaborate, not wanting to betray Jensen's confidence.
"Good," David responded, but said nothing else, seeming to understand my reluctance about sharing too much of the private things that Jensen told me. We lapsed into comfortable silence for a few moments before I spoke again.
"Hey, Jensen and I are going out with Andy and his girlfriend tonight. You should come with us," I suggested, thinking maybe I could stop the rift growing between Jensen and David before it got any wider.
"As tempting as that sounds," he answered with a wry smile. "I'm going to have to decline."
"Why?" I asked suspiciously, almost afraid to hear the answer.
"You know how I said nothing had happened with Andy's sister yet?" he asked with an amused expression as he waggled his eyebrows.
"Okay," I blurted out. "Enough said."
He laughed at my obvious discomfort with this subject.
Let Me Save You Page 18
