That made them laugh harder, but they gave her the triple word score because Rosie and Mary both waved off saying it. Laney would have thought having them playing would give an advantage with regard to anybody balking, but they had no problem saying blowjob or gang bang, so there went that theory.
An argument broke out over whether gang bang was one word or two, which led to Lauren looking it up on her phone. Unfortunately, she didn’t have any safe search filters on and there was a lot of squealing and laughing before she wiped her search history and they decided to let the word stand. Whether it was one word or two, it was a good one, and it was hard to side against the very pregnant Paige.
So much for avoiding anything to do with sex in her entertainment for the night, Laney thought. Between occasionally hearing Ben’s laugh mixed in with the other men’s, and all kinds of naughty words that kept her mind tripping over provocative thoughts of him all night, she’d be lucky if she slept at all tonight.
It was more likely she’d spend the night tossing and turning, imagining his touch. His taste. His voice saying to her some of the words she’d read on the board tonight. If she did sleep, she’d probably hear him in her dreams.
“Hey, Rosie, can you toss me another wine box?”
* * *
Outside of his professional duties, Ben couldn’t remember a more grueling night. On the outside he probably looked like a guy who was chilling around a campfire, telling stories and laughing. But on the inside, he felt as if his body was a compass needle and Laney was his north.
Every time she laughed, his body tightened in his response. He wanted to turn in his chair, toward the sound, even though he knew he couldn’t see her. And he wanted to ask the others if they heard her the clearest, or if the laughter of the women they loved stood out to each of them.
Not that he loved Laney. It was too early for that. They’d kissed one time, and it would be stupid of him to fall in love with a woman who didn’t want to fall in love with anybody, never mind with him.
And if he asked these guys a question like that, he’d never hear the end of it. As it was, Sean knew how he felt about her, even though he hadn’t told him. And he couldn’t be the only one who’d noticed Ben always found Laney in a crowd.
But they’d told him what the women were doing behind Leo and Mary’s RV, and he’d never wanted to know anything as much as he wanted to know what dirty words Laney was spelling out with Scrabble tiles.
“Hey.”
Ben felt something slap his shoulder and he looked up to see Joe holding out a soda. “Thanks.”
He didn’t need the sugar, but once the kids had been put to bed—or had fallen asleep curled up in their chairs, like Gabe and Jackson—the fire had been fed until it was almost too freaking hot to sit near it. And the act of drinking seemed to go along with campfires, which was why there were several small coolers of beer and ice placed around the circle. But he wasn’t drinking beer tonight and Joe never did, so there was one cooler of sodas.
“I figured I’d distract you before you crept through the woods to see what Laney’s doing.”
“Funny,” he muttered as the others laughed.
Joe grinned and walked back to his chair. “You should go for it.”
“She doesn’t want a relationship right now.”
Mitch held up his beer can, as if it was some kind of talisman that made it his turn to talk. “Paige didn’t, either.”
A few of the other guys nodded, so Ben got the impression they were trying to tell him Laney might think she didn’t want a relationship, but that he could change her mind. The problem with that was the why she didn’t want one. If he nudged her and got her to change her mind, would she resent him for it? She’d made it pretty clear she was only doing what she wanted to do this summer.
It had to be her call.
But before he could try to figure out how to explain that to his less-than-sober friends, his phone vibrated in his pocket. Shit. It was late for a call.
“Gotta go,” he said, standing as he typed a quick reply into his phone. A side-by-side rollover with two passengers, no helmets, and at least one possible head injury. He wasn’t too far from the location they gave him.
About 200 yards past the turnoff to the old Dabney hunting camp.
And that was why the town of Whitford had scrounged up enough money to lure Ben back from the city. He was probably the only paramedic on the planet who could ride a four-wheeler and knew where to find the overgrown path that led out to a remote hunting cabin that had burned down in 1987. In the dark.
On my way. ETA 20 mins.
“What’s going on?” Andy asked.
“Rolled a RZR.”
“You want me to go with you?” Josh asked. He asked out of habit, but a second later, he looked down at the beer can in his hand. It wasn’t his first. “Shit.”
“I’ll text you an update,” he said.
He was almost to his four-wheeler when he thought of Laney. It didn’t seem right to leave without saying goodbye to her. But walking into the group of laughing women to specifically say goodbye to her would only fan the flames of the Kowalski matchmaking fire. And he didn’t really have time.
After buckling his helmet, he fired up the machine and, after plugging in his phone, put it in its mount. If somebody from dispatch or the cell phones programmed into a certain list reached out to him, a small red light on the side of the mount would flash. Going down the trail, it was easy to miss a vibrating phone in the pocket. He hit the switch for the flashing red light, mounted on a short pole behind him so it wouldn’t interfere with his vision, and then headed for the tree line.
* * *
The women all paused when they heard the four-wheeler start. There had been a lull in the laughter, so the engine sounded loud in the night.
“It’s probably Ben heading home,” Rosie said. “I forgot he met up with them on the trail, so he’s on his ATV.”
Laney hoped the sinking feeling of disappointment she felt didn’t show on her face. She knew it didn’t make any sense. It wasn’t as if they were going to hang out together when the women got bored with the Dirty Scrabble game—she’d noticed the scorekeeping went downhill over the course of the night and she wasn’t sure how the game technically ended—or hook up after everybody else went to their campers. But just knowing he would be gone sucked some of the joy out of her night.
Then a red light started bouncing around the trees as the engine revved and she couldn’t help standing up. After a few steps she could see around the RV well enough to watch him disappear down the trail. Even though he was out of sight, except for the occasional flash of red, she could still hear as he gave it more gas to increase his speed.
“Be careful,” she whispered, her stomach clenching at the thought of him driving through the woods in the dark. He had lights. His ATV even had more lights than some of the others because his had aftermarket LED lights mounted on his front grill.
“He’ll be fine,” Liz said, resting her hand at the small of Laney’s back.
She tensed, suddenly feeling ridiculous. And conspicuous. But there was no hiding now that she felt something for Ben, even if she didn’t know what it was. Not from these women. “It must be so dark in the woods.”
“It is. But Ben’s been riding in these woods his entire life. He and Sean and my brothers—and Katie because she was a huge tomboy—used to ride dirt bikes and ATV through those woods so fast Rosie had the Northern Star kids added to the Whitford church’s prayer list as a standard weekly feature.”
“It’s true,” Rosie said.
“He lived in the city for years. Just because you did something as a teenager doesn’t mean you can do it now.”
“Laney.” It was Rosie again, and she waited for Laney to turn and look at her before she continued. “The first thing Ben
did when he got back was ride every mile of the trails with Andy. And again with Josh. And by himself. He studied maps and spent a lot of time reacquainting himself with the woods around Whitford. But he’s also a smart guy, and he’s not going to be reckless.”
“It sounds like he was going so fast.”
“You ride my machine and it’s a lot smaller and a lot quieter,” Beth told her. “His has a big engine and it’s not only a lot louder, but it has a different tone when he gets on it a little bit. He wasn’t going as fast as you think he was.”
“I’m being a total idiot right now. Sorry.” She laughed, but it sounded high-pitched and a little hollow. Then she sat back in her chair, hoping the heat in her cheeks didn’t show in the dim light of the lanterns.
Liz sat down, too, but she wasn’t done trying to make her feel better. “I hate when Drew gets called out at night, too. It’s usually for an accident and around here, I don’t worry too much about violence, but I worry about him speeding to the scene in the dark. You just have to trust that experience has taught him his limits and that he knows what he’s doing.”
Laney was uncomfortable with all the focus being on her. And she was really uncomfortable with the idea that she’d accidentally exposed feelings she preferred to keep secret because she didn’t even want to be feeling them herself.
“We’re just friends,” she said quietly, anticipating them laughing at her and probably teasing her until she could escape without looking like she was running.
“And we worry about friends,” Mary said, no laughter in her voice. “You probably would have been concerned no matter who left going fast with ATV lights flashing because you’re not used to it. We’ve all been four-wheeling and riding snowmobiles for most of our lives, so it doesn’t bother us as much.”
Overwhelmed with gratitude for being gifted an explanation other than her having feelings for Ben, Laney smiled. “I’ll probably get used to it in time. They seem so big and loud, but when I rode Beth’s today, it wasn’t scary at all. I actually enjoyed it.”
“We’ll sneak out for a ride at some point—just the women,” Keri said. “You’ll have to go with us.”
“Maybe,” she said, because she wasn’t sure riding Beth’s ATV for a few miles qualified her to go out on a ride with them. “Whose turn was it?”
With their attention turned back to the game, Laney felt herself relax. Or maybe it the mini box of wine somebody stuck in her hand. “How many of these things did you buy?”
“All of them,” Rosie said.
They played for another hour, until there was more yawning than laughing. Then they picked up the games, but decided they’d leave the chairs for the men to drag back to their corresponding campsites the next morning.
“Thank you for tonight,” Laney said. “I had a really good time.”
“The more the merrier,” Lisa said. “And you know a lot more dirty words than you thought you did, right?”
“I guess I do.”
Rosie snorted. “And we also learned not to search for some words and phrases on the internet without some kind of porn filters on.”
“Mom.” Katie shook her head. “Please don’t say porn again.”
“She said ball sac earlier,” Keri said. “I think that’s worse.”
“I don’t see why ball sac got eliminated for being two words, but gang bang got to stay,” Rosie grumbled.
“I thought the worst part about being pregnant was throwing up and peeing all the time, but having to be sober while playing Dirty Scrabble with your mom is the worst part.”
When Laney walked around the RV, she saw that the fire had burned down quite a bit, though the guys were still sitting around it. They were talking quietly and in the dim light of the flames, she saw a little foot dangling from one of the chairs.
When the others went to collect their men and the children who were sleeping, Laney walked with them. She would say good-night to them there, and then make sure all the food was put away and the Dumpster secured before going to her own camper.
But she was mostly hoping they would tell them what was going on with Ben. Drew was the police chief, so surely he would know?
Finally, when it looked like they might just bank the fire and go inside, she couldn’t take it anymore. “Have you heard anything about Ben?”
Drew nodded. “The driver broke his left arm, but he’ll be okay. His wife hit her head and hadn’t been conscious very long when Ben got there, so they’re meeting a med flight for her.”
“That’s scary. I hope she’ll be okay.”
He nodded and then lifted a sleeping Jackson into his arms. Laney knew they were staying in the lodge tonight, since both he and Liz had been drinking. “Me too.”
“Will he go on the med flight with her? Ben, I mean.”
“Probably not. He’ll ride back with Sam and the others, since they responded, too.” He started to turn toward Liz, but then stopped. “So Ben’s not alone out there now. He’s with the others.”
“Thank you,” she said. “Mary said I’d get used to all of you running around in the woods on ATVs, but it’s still a little hard on my nerves.”
He smiled, and then there were good-nights all around. Laney did a final round of the campground and then walked back to her camper.
What a crazy night, she thought as she crawled into her bed. So much laughter and fun, but also worrying about Ben. She wondered if he was home yet, but she had no way of knowing since she didn’t even know how far out into the woods he’d had to go.
Like she had every night for a while now, she fell asleep thinking about Ben.
Chapter Eleven
Laney slid into the booth opposite Nola and gave an exaggerated sigh of relief. “I didn’t think I was ever going to get here.”
“A little crazy, is it?”
“Just a little. And once everybody found out I was running into town to get some stuff for Rosie, the list just grew and grew. I’d start to leave and somebody would call me back to add just one more thing.”
“How long is the list now?”
Laney sighed. “The fact my Camaro’s back at the lodge and I’m driving Andy’s pickup might answer that question.”
“They know the market isn’t exactly a major supermarket, right?”
“Yeah. They know I’ll do the best I can and, since it charges to the lodge, the prices aren’t my problem.”
Paige was working, and they chatted with her for a few minutes before ordering the barbecue chicken wraps that were the lunch special. They’d both ordered sodas, too, because Laney thought she might need the extra sugar content to get her through the Kowalski family shopping list. Of doom, she thought, which made her giggle.
“What’s so funny?”
“Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about the shopping list. So how are things with you?”
“Good. About the same.” Nola used her straw to stir the ice around in her drink. “Your mom asked my mom about you. So my mom asked me how you’re doing and stuff.”
The words hit Laney about the same way Nola tossing the soda in her face would have, killing her good mood. “What did you say?”
“I told her you’re incredibly happy and loving your job and that everybody in Whitford adores you.”
Laney couldn’t help smiling. “A little bit of an exaggeration, maybe, but thank you.”
“Not the part about loving your job or everybody in Whitford who’s met you adoring you. Maybe you’re not incredibly happy, but you’re happier than you’ve been in a very long time.”
“That’s true.”
“I bet you’d be even happier if you slept with Ben Rivers.”
Laney hissed at her, glancing around to see if anybody was close enough to overhear that. Luckily, it was a little late in the day for lunch and
the only other customers were at the other end of the dining room. “Don’t say that.”
“You want to.”
“Stop it.” She did want to. And it would make her happy. For a while. Until it was time for her to start making decisions about what came next in her life and she found herself doubting whether she was making the decisions for herself, or for the man in her life. Not having a man in her life erased the doubt.
“Okay, then we’ll go back to talking about your mom.”
Laney groaned. “Punishing me for not talking about something we shouldn’t be talking about in public?”
“Yes. How come your mom is asking my mom to ask me how you’re doing instead of asking you?”
“You know we’ve had some issues in the last couple of years. We’re not really close at the moment.”
“You told me you weren’t getting along during the divorce and everything, but that’s all behind you now and your ex is in your rearview mirror.”
Laney shrugged, thankful when Paige showed up with their plates so she had a minute to think about what she wanted to say because she knew no matter how good Nola’s intentions were, there was a good chance whatever she said would get back to her mother through the family grapevine. She didn’t want to make the situation worse than it was because she hoped her time here would help her feel strong enough to heal her relationship with her parents.
Once Paige had gone back into the kitchen, Laney salted her fries and resumed the conversation. “Just because the divorce is final doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten they took Patrick’s side through all of it. And before you say it, I know they felt like staying married was best for me, but they should have supported me and not their idea of what my life should be.”
“Are you going to go back to Rhode Island in the fall?”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do yet. I feel like worrying about my future plans now works against the entire reason I’m here. Even though it’s not that far away, I think September-me will look at life a little differently than current-me does.”
What It Takes: A Kowalski Reunion Novel Page 13
