“I hope you get a chance to visit the lodge again soon,” she said in a low voice, her mouth curved into an inviting smile.
“Oh, I will.” When she stepped out of the way, he opened her car door for her, but kissed her again before she could slide into the seat. “Text me when you get there.”
“Good night, Ben.” She started the car and reached for the handle to pull the door closed. “Sweet dreams.”
Before he could say anything else, she closed the door and put the car in Reverse. He gave her a little wave as she backed out onto the road and watched until her taillights were out of sight.
He was going to need a minute or two before he went back inside. Or maybe a cold shower from the garden hose.
Chapter Fifteen
Emma
Their time in Whitford was almost over, and the closer it got to time to say goodbye, the more anxious Emma became. She felt at any random moment the conversation would turn to the lodge and Sean would finally say it. I’d like to raise my son here.
She loved Whitford. She loved the Northern Star. But she didn’t want to live there. They lived in the house she’d been raised in—the house she’d fought so hard to keep—so she knew the pull a house and its history could have on a person. And while he had his aunt and uncle and his cousins in New Hampshire, the fact Rosie and his brothers and sister were here probably added to that pull.
The camper door opened and Sean stepped inside. “Are you going to come have breakfast? There are roughly a thousand pancakes, but you know how fast the bacon goes.”
“Yeah, I was just cleaning up a bit. Where’s Johnny?”
“He’s helping Rosie with the syrup.”
Emma winced. That cleanup was going to require copious amounts of hot water. “I’ll be out in a minute.”
“What’s going on with you, Em? Are you feeling okay?”
“Yeah.” She gave him a smile, but she didn’t have to see his face to know it had been a weak attempt.
“Talk to me. Something’s been wrong most of this trip, and it’s time to talk about it because it’s getting worse. Is it Paige and Katie being pregnant?”
She shook her head. “No. I mean, I’m jealous. I really want another baby.”
“We’ll keep trying, Emma. And if it doesn’t happen, we can talk about other options. I know it’s important to you that Johnny have a brother or sister. Or two, even. I want that, too.”
“I know. And maybe you were right the other day. Maybe we’ll have a Northern Star baby.”
He tilted his head, frowning a little. “Okay, I don’t know what it is, but I know we’re hitting close on whatever it is. You had a weird tone, but I can’t figure out why conceiving a child here would be a bad thing.”
“It wouldn’t.” She knew Sean wasn’t going to let it go now. He was worried and he wouldn’t leave the camper without an answer. “When I watch you here, with Rosie and your brothers and Liz, I feel like you belong here. And when you talk to Johnny about the house and the land, and show him where you did things when you were a kid, I... I don’t know. I feel like you want to raise your son here.”
“Is that what’s been bothering you this whole time?”
“Not bothering me, exactly. It’s just something I’ve noticed.” When he didn’t respond, she finally gave a little shrug of one shoulder. “Okay, maybe it’s been bothering me a little.”
“This isn’t the first time we’ve been here. Why now?”
She tried not to focus on the fact he hadn’t denied it. “It’s the first time we’ve been here long enough to really relax and settle in. And Johnny’s getting older now. He holds your hand and walks with you and you look so proud when you’re showing him around.”
“I am proud. I walked away from this place for a long time, but now that I’m older and wiser—or older, at least—I’m glad we didn’t sell it. I’m grateful my brothers busted their asses bringing it back to what it used to be and then expanding it. It’s part of who I am and, yes, I’m proud to share it with my son. And with my wife.”
Emma blinked, but the tears welling up and blurring her vision didn’t go away. “You’re so happy here.”
He used his thumb to gently wipe away a tear that spilled over onto her cheek. “Emma, come on, honey. What is this? Of course I’m happy here. We’re on vacation.”
“You want Johnny to have a pirate ship.”
“You’re freaking right I do. Who wouldn’t want a pirate ship in the backyard? I wish my brothers and I had a pirate ship when we were kids. We could have tied Katie to the mast and held her hostage until Liz pillaged cookies from the house to ransom her.” She gave him a look and he stopped talking for a second. “Okay, I might have digressed there for a minute.”
“See? You can see your son growing up here like you did.”
“No, Emma. I see my son spending vacations here and being a pirate and riding a four-wheeler so fast I want to puke and stealing cookies from Rosie’s kitchen. I might even see him staying here an extra couple of weeks each summer when he’s old enough. But I don’t see us moving here. Is that what you think I want?”
“Sometimes it seemed like you want to and it scares me. I love our home, but I want you to be happy and... I’ve been worried that for the first time, what makes you happy and what makes me happy weren’t going to be the same thing.”
“We’ve built a life together, you and me. We have a son. We have businesses. I don’t want to walk away from that. And I know how much that house means to you. You made up an imaginary fiancé to keep your grandmother from selling it.”
“You weren’t imaginary—”
“Just uninformed,” he finished for her, and she blushed at the memory of the day she’d knocked on his door and asked him to not only pretend he was engaged to her, but to move into her house. “You keep calling this my home and I guess it always will be because this is where I’m from. It’s where I was raised and where my family lives. But it’s not our home.”
“Do you love our home like you love this place?”
He cupped her chin in his hand and tilted her head back so she was looking into his eyes. “You and Johnny are my home. Always. But yes, I love our house like I love this place. Honey, I ate broccoli with a smile on my face to help you keep that house. I ain’t leavin’ it.”
Emma laughed at the memory of how she’d launched her plan to convince her grandmother she and Sean were engaged with celebratory Chicken Divan, not knowing the fake love of her life loathed broccoli. And he’d eaten it for her. “I’m being silly, aren’t I?”
“You do a lot of silly things, Emma Kowalski, but loving me and worrying about my happiness isn’t one of them.”
She held his chin and kissed him because he was so sweet. But also wrong. “I don’t do a lot of silly things.”
“There was the time you put flannel sheets on the bed and then tried to get into it wearing flannel pajamas. I thought you were going to set the house on fire. And the time you tried to change the faucet without shutting the water off first. And the—”
She kissed him again, just to shut him up. This time he cupped her neck and kept kissing her until she softened against him. When he broke it off and looked into her eyes, she sighed. “I love you, Sean.”
“I love you, too.” After taking a deep breath, he raised his eyebrows. “You know what else I love? Bacon. Let’s go.”
As he was about to open the screen door, she said his name and then waited until he turned to face her again. “You know, we can get a pirate ship for our own backyard.”
The grin lit up his face. “You’re a damn good woman, Emma. And maybe sometimes, after the kid’s asleep, we can sneak out there and you can shiver me timbers.”
She frowned. “I’m not sure what that means.”
“Yeah, I don’t actua
lly, either. We should find out before I ask you to do that to me.”
“Just don’t search for it on the internet without a porn filter.”
He almost fell off the camper step, which made her laugh. “What the hell does that mean?”
“Long story.” She grinned and nudged him to get moving because she could smell the bacon now. “Ask Aunt Mary about it sometime.”
* * *
Laney closed the dryer door on what was hopefully the last load of laundry and pondered the feasibility of hiding in the basement for a little while longer. She hadn’t slept well the night before because she’d been too busy tossing and turning and dissecting dinner with Ben’s family.
It was also a hot and humid day, and being in the cool basement didn’t help kill her desire to dump a pile of clean laundry onto the floor, curl up on top of it and take a nap.
“Laney?” she heard Rosie call from the top of the stairs. “Are you down there?”
And there went that idea. “Yes, but I’m on my way up.”
“It seems like you’ve been doing laundry all day,” Rosie said once she’d closed the basement door behind her.
“I think I have. Since Ryan and Lauren left after yesterday’s ride, I was doing their bedding. And between dust and mud, everybody was changing clothes more than they anticipated so I offered to do a few loads for them.”
“That’s nice of you. But you should have told them where to find the washer and dryer and let them do it themselves.”
Laney laughed and sat down at the table, since Rosie had put a sandwich down and pointed to it. “That’s not exactly your usual hospitality.”
“They’re not exactly paying guests.” Pulling out a chair, Rosie sat down with her own sandwich, along with a third plate that she set in front of an empty chair. “Not that we’d take their money even if they tried, but they can do for themselves, if you know what I mean.”
Laney bit into the chicken salad sandwich, wondering what had precipitated this surprise lunch meeting. And who was running late.
She’d barely finished the thought when the back door opened and Mary walked into the kitchen. “I swear, I need a vacation from this vacation.”
“I told you to take one of the rooms upstairs,” Rosie said. “I’ll tell nobody where you are.”
“Trust me, they’ll find me.” She sat down in front of the third sandwich. “Hi, Laney.”
“Hi. Rough day?”
“I swear I’m going to line them all up and whack each of them with the wooden spoon. You can tell when it’s almost time to go home because there’s been too much together time and the bickering starts.”
“Whack them with a wooden spoon?”
Rosie shook her head. “She’s not talking about the children, Laney. She’s talking about the grown men.”
“The Kowalski men have thick skulls,” Mary added. “Trust me, sometimes the only way to get their attention is a quick thump with the spoon.”
“Speaking of men,” Rosie said. “How was dinner with Ben’s parents last night?”
Laney froze with the sandwich halfway to her mouth. The way Rosie asked the question—with obviously fake nonchalance—and Mary’s expectant look told her why she was being fed lunch today. The grapevine needed fertilizing.
“How do you know about that?”
Rosie gave her an oh, honey look. “May was in the market and mentioned it to Fran. Then Fran had to run to the library to return some movies and she told Hailey. Hailey told Matt, who had to call Josh about something related to the club and he told him. And Josh told Sean while Andy was standing nearby. Andy told me.”
“Seriously? And all that happened this morning?”
“There’s not a lot to do in Whitford, in case you haven’t noticed. This is like a sport for us, really.”
“So, how was it?” Mary asked.
“It was good, I guess. The best Swedish meatballs I’ve ever had.” Both women looked as if they wanted to argue that point, so she kept talking. “His nephews are adorable. Maybe Johnny’s age and a little older.”
“I wasn’t asking how the meal was,” Mary said. “How did you get along with his parents?”
“Fine. They’re nice. His brother and his sister-in-law are nice. It wasn’t a big deal, really.”
Rosie looked skeptical. “When a man brings a woman home to his mother, it’s a big deal.”
Laney wanted to push back against that line of thinking, since she didn’t want it to be a big deal, but she suspected she’d be wasting her breath. Instead, she took a big bite of her sandwich and took her time chewing it.
When they got the hint she wasn’t going to say any more about dinner, the two women ate their own lunches. The talk turned to the daunting task of getting the belongings spread all over the campground back into the correct campers, the way they had come out.
Just as she was about to excuse herself, the back door opened again and Josh walked in. “Hey, Rosie, have you seen some papers rolled up with a rubber band on them?”
“When I find papers, I put them on your desk. Like I have been for years.”
“I’ll check there. Ben just drove up and I want to go over some maps with him. We’ve been marking every location he responds to, and we’ve got a remote cluster. We’ll never get permission to cut a road in from that many landowners, but one guy owns a big chunk and Matt suggested we approach him about cutting in a clearing for a helicopter. I want to get Ben’s take on it.”
He was walking as he talked and he was stepping out of the kitchen as he said the last words. Laney turned back to find both women staring at her and she didn’t have to guess why. But she wasn’t going to admit anything, either. “What?”
“Ben sure does spend a lot of time here,” Mary said.
“Because Sean and the others are here. And because he’s always talking to Josh and Andy about the trails. Plus, he said starting from here cuts down his response time, so he can visit you guys while still doing his job, instead of sitting in the fire station.” Laney got up and rinsed her plate. “I’m going to go check the laundry.”
“That dryer’s not done,” Rosie said. “I’ll check it in a bit and they can come haul their own clothes up the stairs.”
“Okay, then I’m going to go...do something.”
She had her hand on the door when Mary spoke. “Tell Ben we said hi.”
They were both laughing when she walked out in the hot sun, and she couldn’t help smiling. Yes, she wanted to see Ben. Maybe he had logical reasons for being there, but that didn’t stop her from remembering the way he’d looked at her when he’d said he’d be stopping by to see her. The intensity of it still made her shiver.
She spotted him right away, since he hadn’t made it as far as out back. He was leaning against the barn, talking to Andy, but as soon as he saw her, he stood up straight. His smile made Andy look over, and then he smiled, too.
“I think I might know where those papers are that Josh is looking for. I’ll be back in a minute.”
It was such an obvious move to leave them alone, Laney almost laughed out loud. And judging by the way he grinned and shook his head, Ben was aware of it, too.
“I’d kiss you,” he said,“ but I have a feeling we’re being watched.”
If Laney was sure of one thing, it was that they weren’t hiding anything from anybody. “Do you care?”
“No. Do you?”
“Not really.”
He closed the distance between them and kissed her. It didn’t last long, because maybe they did care a little, but the small sound of appreciation he made when his mouth met hers made up for it.
“That definitely makes up for looking at more maps with Josh,” he said, lacing his fingers through hers. “That man loves maps.”
“I noticed you did
n’t ride over on your ATV.”
He shrugged. “It’s quiet today. I asked around and most of the lodging establishments around the trail system have vacancies. There’s usually a lull right after a holiday weekend, and it doesn’t take me that long to get back to the station if I need the four-wheeler.”
When he looked at something over her shoulder, she turned to see Josh and Andy walking toward them. “I guess it’s map time.”
“If nothing comes up, you want to go for a walk later? You told me you try to walk every day, so I was hoping to keep you company.”
“Sure.” She squeezed his hand before releasing it.
“Mom, there’s something in the pool!”
“That sounds like Brianna,” she said. “I should go see what’s going on.”
“Holler if you need help,” Josh told her.
She laughed. “I’m sure it won’t be bad. Johnny’s been trying to toss things over the fence since he got here. A personal challenge, I think.”
As she walked away, she heard Josh start talking about the maps in his hand and almost laughed out loud. He really did love his maps. But it made sense. The ATV trail system had changed all of their lives, so the care and maintenance of it was a priority for him.
And in a little while, maybe she and Ben would get to walk one of those trails. They’d have some peace and quiet and—most importantly—privacy. He owed her a much more thorough hello kiss.
Sean
“Who does this belong to?” Sean held up a T-shirt that had been draped over one of the support arms for the RV’s awning.
Emma stared at it for a few seconds before shrugging. “It’s a man’s Red Sox T-shirt, Sean. I think you all have that one.”
“So it’s mine?”
“I don’t know. Take it and when we’re home and all the laundry’s done, if you have two, you owe somebody an apology. And a T-shirt.”
“Next year we need to write our names on everything with a laundry marker or masking tape, like we’re going to summer camp.”
“Or maybe you could all learn to pick up after yourselves instead of leaving your clothes wherever you happen to take them off.” She pulled a marshmallow out of a chair’s cup holder, grimacing. “I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and guess this is Johnny’s.”
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