“Okay, well that might explain why she’s so reluctant. She was really eager the first few scenes. I had no doubt she was invested. But then she switched. I’ll follow up after your call, but she needs to make it clear to me what she wants.”
“Great. I made it clear that even if I return, I wouldn’t be her Domme again and that she needs to think about her choices. She hung up on me.”
“Shit. Okay, I appreciate that. But as I said, I’m not going to force things. I’m too old for that.”
“You don’t get to claim the old card when you’re talking with me.”
“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.”
“Keep me posted.”
“Sure thing.”
I put the conversation with Andrew to the back of my mind, although I didn’t feel settled with Sarah.
I dress quickly and leave the hotel for home. I take a shower and put on a pot of coffee before fixing a smoothie for breakfast. I want to be at The Pines early to see Mum. Work was going to be busy for the coming couple of weeks with valuations I’d rearranged when I was off. I had a duty to ensure I was as focused as I could be for my clients. Of course, if Mum is struggling, so would I.
“Hi, Mum.” I walk into her room with a smile on my face. My stomach feels like I am about to throw up. Mum looks up at me, and for a second, time stands still.
“Hi, Natasha. You’re here early.” Her smile lifts all my anxiety. I grind my molars fighting off the wave of emotion that the simple greeting from Mum has sparked.
“I wanted to come and visit. We didn’t leave things well yesterday.”
“Yesterday? I didn’t see you, did I?”
“No, I stopped in, but you were sleeping.”
“Oh, I see. You could have woken me. I may be in here, but I’m not an invalid.”
“All right, Mum. Can I get you anything? I’m going to grab a coffee and then we can go to the gardens? It’s a nice day.”
“I’m fine. We’ve not long had breakfast. I’ll be right here when you get back.”
My stop with George is quick—he seems to know the drill, and I’m back with Mum in a few minutes.
I wheel her out into the small garden area. The weather is warm for May. The air has a summer haze to it that we usually see in the middle of August.
“Mum, have you met Peter? Or Aiden?” I ask.
“Yes. Aiden’s a friendly chap. Nice to see a young lad around here. Makes us all feel a little younger.”
“Yeah, he’s got that boyish charm. Well, I’m going to ask him to keep an eye on you. I’m going to be busy with work this week and won’t be able to visit quite so often.”
“Okay. I understand.” Her face falls, and the guilt punches me in the gut.
“I’ve taken quite a bit of time off, but I need to work for the next couple of weeks. Then I hope to have a bit more balance and routine. It’s important that I’m able to visit regularly.”
“Whatever you say, dear.”
We spend the morning in the garden and then start a game of Scrabble back in her room.
Aiden comes looking for me just before lunch. He knocks on Mum’s door and gives us both a dimple-worthy smile that meets his eyes. “Hey, I thought we could grab our own lunch?”
I drink him in before answering. “Sure.” I set the game aside. “Mum, I’ll come and say bye after you’ve had lunch.”
“Did I win at Scrabble?”
“We’ll see after you’ve had some food.”
A nurse walks into the room. “Ready, Agatha?”
“Certainly, dear.” She wheels her out and leaves me lingering with Aiden.
He smiles and heads to our library room.
“I’d like to say good morning, but I’ll have to settle for good afternoon.” He looks at me, and I can see the same lust mixed with hope that appeared last night. I smile, thinking about how we ended our ‘drinks with friends’ date. The feelings that burned last night are still dormant, just waiting for the spark to catch again.
“Aiden, can I ask you a favour?”
“Shoot.”
“Would you mind stopping in to see Mum over the next few days? I’ve got some work commitments, and it’s going to be hard to visit as much as I have been. As you have my number now, you could let me know if there’s a problem or you think I need to come in. It’s just until Saturday.”
“Sure. I’m here anyway. I’d be happy to.”
“Don’t you have a job?”
“Yes, but it’s flexible. I can fit it around what I want to do. I need to be here, so I make it work.”
I don’t pry further. A flexible job could mean any number of careers. I was just finding it hard to work out what, and I didn’t want to call him on it in case he didn’t want to share.
“That’s great. Thank you.”
“No problem. What do you do, anyway?”
“I work for an antique valuation firm in town. I specialise in jewellery.”
He glances down to my wrist where my gold and diamond Bulgari bracelet rests. “Impressive.”
“I’m not there full time, but I do need to address some of the client appointments I’ve rescheduled. Plus, I have a valuation day on Friday.”
“You should talk with Peter. He was a diamantaire before he retired. He worked in Antwerp at one of the big firms.”
“Wow, it’s not every day you hear or meet a diamantaire. I’ll be sure to talk to him about it.”
We make it to the library and take our usual seats.
Aiden pulls out a store-bought sandwich from a bag and sets about unwrapping it. He rummages back in the bag and pulls out a plastic pot of fruit. “You said you weren’t big on food. I went with fruit.”
“Good choice. Thank you.”
He doesn’t make a big thing about the gesture that has my heart beating frantically in my chest and sets about devouring his meal.
We eat in comfortable silence. We have no need to make needless conversation.
Aiden finishes his meal and turns his attention to me. His eyes lock onto me and watch as I spear the last few pieces of mango. It’s as if he’s making a mental study of my face. After I finish the fruit, I turn my attention to him. We don’t speak, but the undercurrent of tension is thick and heavy. Neither of us mentions the kiss, but I’m thinking about it and wondering what would have happened if I’d opened my door to him.
“Have to say, it’s been nice getting used to you here. Have you made sure George is stocked with coffee before next week?” He breaks my mental play out of what could have happened last night.
“Yes, George should have enough coffee to last through to next Saturday. Especially if I’m not here drinking it all.”
The sizzle of our connection that started to pop dies as I stand. I should get back to Mum and then head home. Although a few more seconds with Aiden wouldn’t hurt. Crap. I sound pathetic. “I better get back. Thank you for the fruit. And let me know if you think I’m needed.”
Needed. Could Aiden ever need me? I scrub my wayward thought.
“Please, don’t worry.”
Easier said than done.
Over the next month, I find a workable pattern to fit around my responsibilities. I visit with Mum two evenings a week and spend time over the weekend with her.
And Aiden.
The week at work helps gain some perspective. No matter how guilty I feel, I can’t spend all my time with Mum. She’s in the best place for her. I need to take Aiden’s advice and establish a workable routine. Once I acknowledge that point, some of my concentration returns.
Of course, Aiden seems to have adjusted his routine to be at The Pines in the afternoon on a Tuesday and Thursday. I looked forward to our shared time together more than visiting with Mum. Wanting a friendship and giving it time to develop and grow is new, and I cling onto the magic and excitement it gives me. Another reason to feel guilty. I vacillate between emotions more than I’ve ever done in my life.
The embers of the kiss still burn b
etween us, but our friendship has grown to match this attraction. Aiden’s desire is easier to read than my own. His longing eyes follow me everywhere. I feel his eyes on my arse if I walk away from him. Brushed fingers, slight touches. Every contact builds the connection that ties us together. My anticipation to see him grows each week. Relief floods through my every fibre when I see him again.
The stolen few moments we spent together aren’t enough. We hadn’t been out for drinks since our first date, although it had been on the tip of my tongue for the last two weeks to invite him to join me at Maddison’s. I knew the consequences that invite might hold. Having him to myself I knew I wouldn’t want to stop at the door to my room. Having a vanilla relationship isn’t something that I could entertain, even for Aiden, and I didn’t know if he even knew about submission. Those were compelling reasons to refrain from inviting him out.
Saturday morning arrives, and I start it like most others. Coffee, emails in bed, more coffee and then finally up and dressed ready for something I can call breakfast before heading off to The Pines.
Mum has been good all week, and Maggie has reported a marked improvement since her cast was taken off last week. My heart lifts with the news that this is proving to be the right decision.
I don’t find Mum in her room. She’s with some of the other residents in the main day room. I remind myself to contact the Franks and ask them to visit now she seems settled. I leave her to her socialising and go in search of Aiden. Peter has a few nurses with him when I check his room, so I head for the library. When I enter, I find Aiden, but he’s far from the cheerful character that usually greets me. He's sitting in one of the old chairs, staring out the window as if he’s a million miles from here.
“Hey, everything okay?” I ask to be polite even though I know the answer already.
“Sorry?”
“Everything okay? Has something happened?” My level of concern for both Aiden and Peter catches me off guard. I pull up one of the small foot stools and sit next to him.
“It’s been a bad morning.” He turns from me and looks back out the window.
I don’t want him to feel the way I felt when Mum took her frustrations out on me. His sorrow surrounds him like a cloak, darkening his usual bright soul.
“You told me there would be bad days.”
“I know,” he snaps.
“Careful.” The reprimand is automatic, but it holds his attention. He looks at me, and I keep my stare level and guarded.
“Sorry, Natasha. I know you’re just trying to help. I appreciate it.” He takes my fingers and gives them a squeeze, entwining them as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. He looks at them, joined together, before going back to pondering what’s outside the window without dropping the connection.
“Do you want to go for a drink?” I abandon all my previous reservations, seeing Aiden like this.
“I finally get you to invite me out for a drink, and it’s when I’ll be rubbish company?”
“You need to take your mind off whatever happened today. That won’t happen with you brooding in here.”
He gives me a challenging look which I match. A stalemate of wills, and one that I will win.
“I have somewhere I need to be this afternoon. I’m free about four.”
“Four it is. I’ll meet you at Maddison’s.” Our stalemate continues until Aiden drops his eyes away, and with it our tangled fingers. “Don’t be late.” I call as I walk out of the library.
At 4:00 p.m. I’m sitting at the bar waiting to see if Aiden will push his luck with being on time. I knew I should be thinking of tonight as just another drink with a friend, but my mind is several steps past that point, and has been for a while. I just need to be careful with my approach. Whatever happened today was just the catalyst I needed to push for a date. Aiden and I have been skirting around this for too long, and I need to gain some answers for my own sanity.
If I’d been at Solace, I’d have tied him up and fucked him on the first night. My eyes slide shut as I picture him, but I force myself out of my fantasy.
I’d already checked in and put an overnight bag upstairs. I could analyse my decisions another time. It all still hinged on Aiden. With his earlier mood, I wouldn’t take anything for granted.
It’s still early, so I allow myself a glass of wine as I wait. The navy blouse is another modest choice for the bar. The knee length leather skirt with lace edging pushes closer to my usual attire. It’s another of my favourites. Demure and sexy.
My fingers are restless with energy and strum on the bar surface in an attempt to curb the flow. It fails. I want Aiden to arrive, and I want him to take my lead.
Seven minutes past four, and he finally saunters into the bar. He glances around before he finds me and comes over. “Can I get you a drink?”
No small talk, no hello, and still the grim face from earlier. Not a good sign.
“I’m fine with this, thanks.”
He turns and heads to the bar, and I reassess my earlier plan. Aiden is still suffering and coming for a drink hasn’t eased his woes. Aiden needs my undivided attention, and he’ll have it. I want to ease his suffering as well as work at understanding him and exploring our growing attraction.
His bottle of beer rings loudly as he drops it on the marble table top. “Hey.”
“Hey. Take a seat. I just thought food might be an idea. We’re here early.”
“Food?”
“Food.”
“I didn’t think you ate?” His eyes flicker with interest.
“The food is excellent here. Plus, I’m going to guess that you haven’t made time today for the usual junk you eat?”
Aiden gives me a half smile before drinking down several pulls of beer.
“A meal and a drink. Careful, Natasha, or you’ll have me believing this could be a date.”
“Oh, believe me, when we’re on a date, you’ll know about it.” I can’t resist the taunt, and it has the desired effect. Aiden coughs and stifles his hand over his mouth only just stopping from spraying me and the table in beer.
“Sorry,” he chokes.
“No harm done. And I’ll take that as a yes to food.”
“And the date?”
“We’ll see.”
Aiden’s whole posture changes, and the gloom is banished from his features. Now I just have to keep his bad mood at bay.
We order an early dinner, and the atmosphere between us begins to settle. Aiden’s eyes are back to watching me rather than off pondering the world, and I realise I like it. Far too much.
“Mum is in such better spirits since her cast is off. Thank you again for watching out for her.”
“You’re welcome. Yes, I noticed as well. It’s good that she’s settled. It took Grandad a little while. As I said, routine can be a key factor.”
“Yes. And I feel better for having the routine as well. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to visit as often as you do.”
“Not many do. I’m lucky, I suppose.”
“Oh?” I’m curious as to how he sees this.
“I don’t have any commitments or ties that prevent me from being there. I don’t suffer the guilt when I have to balance the rest of my life around visiting. It’s easy for me to prioritise. Many don’t have that freedom.” Aiden explains in a very matter-of-fact way, and I can understand why he sees himself as lucky.
“Well, here’s to being lucky.” I raise my glass for us to toast.
Our food arrives, and we begin in silence. I’m spot on. Aiden hasn’t eaten for most of the day.
“This is delicious.”
“See.” I slice my knife into my own steak, and it cuts through like butter.
“I’m surprised you can eat a whole steak. This has got to be the first time I’ve seen you consume anything other than fruit or liquid.”
“This place does the best steak. And sometimes I treat myself to what you’d call proper food. All things in moderation. Apart from coffee.”
“We
ll, I agree,” he chuckles. “Are you feeling more settled since you have a routine working?”
“Yes. I’ve caught up with work, and Mum’s doing well, so we’re all good. I notice that you’ve altered your visits, too.”
His slight blush isn’t hard to spot, and he takes that moment to take a mouthful of beer.
“Guilty.” He smiles, and it’s sexy and warm and sets my skin alight.
I let the heat die back a little. Tonight, I want to ensure Aiden felt free to talk to me. “You know, if you want to talk, I’m here. You offered advice the other week to me. I’d like to return that if I can.” I go on eating and wait.
Aiden doesn’t answer and continues with his meal. I want to give him the space to talk to me if he wants. My instincts are firing and telling me that he hasn’t had the opportunity to talk to someone like this before. He might be quick to deal out the advice but not be able to take it.
I finish my steak and close my knife and fork without another word. Anticipation lies between us. I’m waiting for Aiden to break his silence.
“Watching Grandad deteriorate slowly is the hardest. He can go weeks without any sign that there’s even anything wrong with him except old age, maybe a forgetful memory. And then I’m slammed with how far he has fallen. Small things may slip away from time to time, but who doesn’t forget a word or two. It’s when his entire grasp on reality shifts that’s the hardest to understand. And the most difficult to walk away from. It’s so fucking frustrating.” He crosses his arms and leans back in his chair. He looks like he’s sulking, but it’s hurt.
“This disease is so cruel. We can’t change either of those things. But we’ve toasted to how lucky you are to have the time and space to support him every step. He’s not left to wither and fade. Instead, you talk to him, keep his mind active, and show him what he’s still got to live for. I’d say that it’s not only you that’s lucky but Peter as well.”
Aiden doesn’t reply but looks at me with such longing in his eyes that I almost reach across the table to him.
“Do you ever talk to anyone about your grandad? Or what you sacrifice?”
Finally More: The Evermore Series Book 5 Page 7
