by Rye Brewer
I wondered how much of her past life had washed clean over the course of the vigil she’d kept with me. Did she feel any guilt for the crimes she’d committed? Or over the fact that it was my brother, not she, who sat in a cell? Even though she was as guilty as he?
I cleared my throat, careful to keep my excitement at bay. It had to sound as though I was only now coming up with this idea.
“I wonder if there isn’t a way to use this to our advantage, now that we have potential allies here on the island.”
She turned to me with wide, surprised eyes. “How could we possibly?”
I bit the inside of my cheek to calm myself.
She couldn’t see how anxious I was to proceed. “Here is what I’ve been considering…”
5
Felicity
“She made it sound as though she’d be back right away. Didn’t she?” Gregor’s frantic eyes searched my face for a hint of understanding. Gregor, king of the fae and father to Anissa.
I wished I had some to give him.
“She did,” I said for the hundredth time, working hard to disguise the frustration and exhaustion of putting up with his interrogations and pacing for two straight days.
Two days without Tabitha, Anissa’s mother.
At first, I’d assured him that she’d likely been held up somehow, slowed down, something. After two days, I couldn’t be so sure. Something must have gone wrong.
My heart ached for him, knowing he was waiting for her with increasing concern and impatience. Every passing hour made the situation worse.
If he wasn’t so clearly in love, I might have been annoyed with him—the man wasn’t easy to placate under ordinary circumstances, and this was anything but ordinary. He was more impossible than ever. But it would be like kicking a small, wounded child to lash out at him or speak sharply.
“I should have demanded to go with her.” His voice had lost its zeal. He sounded tired, dejected, bruised as he waited, staring out into the distance.
“Come home,” I urged. “You need to rest. You’ve barely had a moment’s sleep since you started waiting for her.”
“I promised her I would be here.” His gaze never faltered. As though he could will her into existence.
“I know you did, but I’m sure she won’t expect to find you here after all this time. And I can promise she’ll be frustrated with you when she finds you’ve waited without taking care of yourself.”
I’d been bringing him food and drink, but he’d hardly partaken of it. The plate and mug I’d most recently delivered appeared untouched.
“If she arrives at all.” He was clearly dejected.
“I’m sure she will.” I was less sure than ever.
What could’ve happened?
Her face had shone, as his had, when they’d discussed her visit to Avellane. Was she ill? Hurt? Detained by one of the shades? Did they stop her? Why would they stop her?
I rubbed my knuckles over my tired eyes, my heart heavy with its own concerns. I hadn’t seen Allonic since he’d hurried away. Everything had seemed so perfect, sitting there on that roof, like the two of us were on top of the world. Nothing down below could touch us. And then, it had ended. As though someone had snapped their fingers and jolted us back to reality.
Try as I might, I couldn’t pinpoint why things had changed the way they had.
I’d told Allonic about his mother visiting Avellane. He hadn’t seemed averse to the idea—at first. I’d worried he might have detained her, refusing to allow her to leave ShadesRealm, but nothing about his demeanor when I’d broken the news led me to believe he was anything other than interested and even mildly amused at his mother’s romance.
Nevertheless, something had jolted him hard. And that was the last I’d seen of him. The torment in his face, in his eyes, right before he’d coursed away from me.
What if something terrible had happened to the both of them? I couldn’t help but entertain the image of Gregor and I, still waiting a hundred years hence. Both of us dead from exposure and starvation and heartache. If we were lucky, heartache would take us first.
It was as if he could read my thoughts. “And Allonic didn’t give you any indication of why he left in a hurry?”
I closed my eyes for the briefest moment before answering the question—again. I’d lost track of the number of times he’d asked. “He didn’t. He shut down and coursed me back here, then left in a hurry.”
“It doesn’t make sense.”
“No, it doesn’t.”
But it had made sense to Allonic, hadn’t it? I warned myself not to take it personally, that if he had issues to handle and didn’t feel they were any of my business, there was nothing I could do. I wished my heart didn’t hurt so much when I reminded myself of this. I wanted there to be more between us, more intimacy and trust—but it couldn’t be forced.
“I can’t stand this.” He stood abruptly. “I need to find a way to get to ShadesRealm.”
My mouth hung open as I followed him into Avellane. He had a habit of turning on a dime, but this was jarringly abrupt even for him. “What can you do? You can’t go there, unchaperoned and without permission from someone there.”
“I know that,” he snapped, walking in great, long strides. With a goal to focus on again, he’d gone from a defeated, heartsick man to the Gregor I was accustomed to. As usual, I nearly ran to keep up.
“What do you plan to do, then?”
“I plan to send word to Garan, to see if I can negotiate entrance.”
“What about Ressenden? I thought he was the one to speak to on such matters?”
He waved a hand. “I didn’t tell you? Word came through right before we went to Hallowthorn Landing. Ressenden is dead.”
The news took my breath away. The ancient shade had, in essence, ruled ShadesRealm for as long as I could remember, whether he’d ever been named ruler or not.
I had never been there and had never met him, but stories had circulated for years pertaining to his wisdom, hard-headedness, and the strict rules everyone in ShadesRealm lived under.
“Garan is his son?”
Gregor nodded. “The second son. The first-born died years ago, so that would mean Garan is now in power. I’ll send word to him immediately and let him know it’s an emergency.”
I followed him to his chambers, where he fired off a quick missive and rang for a messenger to rush out.
The messenger appeared understandably confused but knew better than to ask questions.
“You ought to get some rest while you’re waiting,” I advised, waiting in one corner of the room. I knew my words fell on deaf ears but felt compelled to bring it up, anyway.
He scowled. “There’s no time to waste with sleep.”
“I understand, but if you’re allowed into ShadesRealm, do you think you’ll have any time to rest there? You’ll want to look for Tabitha. You owe it to her to take care of yourself while you can.” In reality, I was desperate for a moment alone but didn’t want to leave him on his own while he was awake.
I didn’t trust his judgment when his emotions ran at full tilt, as they were at this time. One wrong move—going to ShadesRealm before receiving permission, insulting someone in power—and he could bring disaster down on all our heads.
He sighed, rubbing his face before running his hands through his hair. A man with far too many thoughts and worries. “Perhaps you’re right. I only wonder if I’ll be able to calm myself long enough to sleep.”
“I can prepare a draught for you,” I suggested. “Nothing too strong, but enough to help you sleep for a few hours.” I didn’t want to waste time any more than he did, but it wouldn’t do for him to collapse, either.
I hurried to prepare the potion, using herbs I kept in a series of pouches concealed within my robes for such circumstances, then made sure he went to bed before going to my chambers to catch my breath and perhaps get some rest of my own. Considering what I’d given Gregor, I had roughly four hours—and there was no tell
ing when Garan would reply to his message, since what constituted an emergency for Avellane or its citizens didn’t necessarily translate in ShadesRealm.
After a quick, much-needed bath to wash away the dust I’d picked up while waiting on the other side of the entrance, I curled up in bed and closed my eyes. The only thing I saw when I closed them was Allonic, and tears threatened to spring up. What happened to him?
When I was with Gregor, no matter how exhausting he was, at least I didn’t have time to dwell on my own aching heart. In the silence of my otherwise empty bed, there was nothing else to do.
I fell into an uneasy sleep, filled with dreams of coursing and sitting with my head on Allonic’s shoulder and the chest-bursting joy of being with him. Under all of it was a sense of dread. The certainty that something was very wrong.
It felt like no time passed between when I’d closed my eyes and when a sharp, insistent knocking on my door pulled them open again. “Yes?” I called out, sitting up so fast my head spun.
“Gregor’s looking for you.”
That was all I needed to hear. I was out of bed like a shot, dressing in clean robes and making sure I had a fresh supply of herbs and salves in my pouches, just in case. Something told me I might need them if we were going to do any traveling.
“What took you so long?” he bellowed when I reached his chambers.
Sleep had granted him renewed energy, and I wasn’t sure whether or not to be glad for that when the volume of his voice made me cringe and shrink back a little. He’d bathed and dressed, as I had, and was bent over his desk when I approached. There was an open scroll there, spread out between his palms.
I chose to ignore his question, since it was more rhetorical than anything else. “What did Garan say?”
“We can’t meet him in ShadesRealm,” he grumbled. “We can meet in Moorvale, however.” He glanced my way. “Have you ever been there?”
“I’ve never had reason to,” I replied, thinking of the neutral realm between Avellane and ShadesRealm. “As far as I know, it’s uninhabited. A sort of world between worlds.”
“Yes. I’ve heard the same.” He examined the scroll again, his brow deeply furrowed. “I see no reason why I shouldn’t comply. There can’t be any danger in meeting in a neutral zone.”
“I’ll go with you,” I immediately announced.
“You’ll do no such thing.”
“You act as though there’s danger involved in this—or something you’re trying to keep me from,” I added.
“There’s nothing of the sort.”
“Why would you refuse me, then?”
“I don’t need a nursemaid with me.”
“Is that what I am to you now?” I followed him around his chambers.
He slid into a second robe, the sort of shimmering, spangled thing he liked to wear while meeting other powerful men.
Its rich green reminded me of the grass and trees in our kingdom, and the beaded trim brought to mind the dome of the Hermitage. “I waited with you for two days out there, and you call me a nursemaid?”
“Do not challenge me right now, Felicity. I’m in no mood.” He nearly shoved me out of the way as he left the room, making me more determined than ever to go with him.
“You need someone with you,” I argued. “How do you think it will look, meeting the leader of another kingdom without so much as an advisor alongside you?”
When in doubt, it was always best to appeal to his ego. The worst thing Gregor could ever do, in Gregor’s opinion, was to appear unprepared. It reflected poorly on him and his leadership.
He paused for the briefest moment, and I knew I’d gotten through to him.
“As long as you promise not to interfere. It wouldn’t do for a king’s advisor to speak before being spoken to.”
“I understand.”
We went outside, following the little-used path which led to a series of portals to the other realms.
All I could think about was Allonic and the chance we might be able to find him when we found Tabitha.
If we found Tabitha.
6
Felicity
Moorvale was as it had always been described to me—cold, rocky, vacant.
Fog swirled around our ankles as we made our way from the portal, walking into… I had no idea what. It was impossible to see what was under this fog, which made the rocky terrain that much more dangerous.
Gregor was forced to slow his gait as we walked along.
“Where are we going? Did he say anything in his scroll?” There was nothing but the fog-covered ground in all directions, as far as the eye could see. No mountains or hills, no trees.
I wasn’t used to being in a place where there were no trees. They even had trees in the human world.
“No. Only that he would meet us here. I’m sure we’ll know him when we see him. It doesn’t seem as though there’s another living soul here besides us.” The sky was flat and gray. As though whoever had built this realm had given up partway through—and not after getting much work done.
We walked through the fog, watching every step and feeling sillier with every passing moment until a tall, dark figure appeared on the horizon.
For a moment, when he came into focus, I thought I was looking at Allonic. The same build, the same dark skin and bald head. And those remarkable golden eyes. My heart leaped into my throat and lodged itself there, I was so sure of what I thought I saw.
But it wasn’t him.
The man striding toward us had the bearing of a ruler, a leader, someone whose time would not be wasted. Much like Gregor, in fact. Allonic had the same noble air, but he didn’t inspire the image of a raging bull.
I missed him so.
“Gregor.” Garan held out his large hand to shake Gregor’s, which disappeared inside his grip.
Gregor wouldn’t like that.
Garan’s smile was tight. “Forgive me for choosing this barren place for our meeting, but it was the first one to come to mind where I knew we would both be safe. I must admit, my head hasn’t been clear today.”
He looked at me, nodded sharply. “You see, my father was laid to rest today.”
I winced. What timing. “I’m very sorry to hear that. We’d gotten word of his passing, but weren’t aware…”
“Completely understandable.” There were worry lines at his eyes and the corners of his mouth, and his brow creased deeply as he frowned.
Was it my imagination, or was he staring at my hair? I resisted the urge to touch it self-consciously.
He seemed to shake himself before asking, “What is it I can do for you?”
Gregor stood up tall, puffing out his chest. “As I stated in my message, I’m looking for Tabitha. I know she was living in ShadesRealm. She was supposed to pay a visit to Avellane, but it’s been two days since I’ve heard anything from her. She told me she was only going back to her tower to gather a few things and would return as soon as possible.”
Garan took this in without his face moving a muscle.
For a moment, as we stood there in silence, I was sure Gregor had said something insulting. I couldn’t understand what it would be, however. Gregor could be thoughtless and often spoke before thinking, but this wasn’t one of those times.
When he spoke, Garan’s voice was low, flat. “You’re telling me that Tabitha left her tower? Then returned?”
Oh. He didn’t know she’d left in the first place. How were we supposed to know about that?
“Yes. She left quite some time ago,” Gregor replied, speaking slowly, glancing at me.
“Obviously, I was unaware of this. One of the conditions of her tenure in ShadesRealm was that she not travel freely there. She was to remain in her tower if she wanted to live there at all.” He heaved a heavy sigh, sounding for all the world like a man who’d reached the end of his patience. Or his sanity.
“We didn’t mean to break the news this way,” I murmured, though I knew Gregor would prefer I not speak at all.
But
there was no predicting how delicate this discussion was going to be. I felt like a child who’d inadvertently gotten another child in trouble with the teacher.
“No, of course not,” he replied, offhand.
“Why is it that Tabitha was forced to live in that tower?” Gregor asked.
I winced at his choice of words.
Garan didn’t flinch, but he clearly took umbrage. “Nothing was forced upon her. She wanted to remain in ShadesRealm for her safety—life in the human world, where she’d come from, wasn’t safe. She was presumed dead and had been for a long time. It was better for those she loved if they believed she was really dead. By the point we became aware of her, she was no longer a pureblooded vampire, and I agreed to allow her to stay out of respect for my cousin, who loved her. My condition was that she not leave the tower, but that was for her safety. None of my brethren had the same relationship with my cousin as I had, so I couldn’t trust them to treat her with respect.”
“That’s completely understandable, and kind of you,” I replied before Gregor could have the chance to say something even more awkward.
“Now you tell me she was coming and going freely…” He shook his head.
“It was our understanding this was the first and only time,” Gregor clarified.
“I see.” He sized us both up. “What is it you’d like to do? Come looking for her, as you stated in your message?”
“I’m deeply worried for her safety,” Gregor admitted. “As you say, none of the shades had the respect for your cousin you did, so they wouldn’t care for her being present.”
“This is true.” Garan stroked his chin, mulling it over. “I believe it could be arranged for you to move through ShadesRealm to inspect the tower, if it would help ease your mind.”
“I would owe you a great debt for that,” Gregor assured him.
“Even the Knights at Messimer, if I might need them in battle?”
I barely stifled a gasp.
How did he know about them? Nobody was supposed to know. I glanced Gregor’s way and found him staring hard at Garan, trying to suss this out for himself. Even the fae weren’t supposed to be aware of who was a member of that part of fae society and who wasn’t.